The fuck?

[squishysurg92]

Does anyone else ever wonder what the hell fucked them up so bad in life? I've come to terms with the fact that I'm screwed up and I'm weird and I have issues -- loads of them. But I still can't figure out what event(s) screwed me up so horrifically. I can't just accept happiness apparently. I'm the one saying "No. Higher.". Why though? I don't

Comments

[squishysurg92]

Yeah, but the issue being that I've realized that all. I've tried taking a security blanket (any of my numerous, all black, oversize hoodies)but they only work when it's, say, anyone insulting or, rather, attempting to insult me, or call me out for being weird. Now, I can usually just channel that sort of sanctuary, as you call it, and use it at will. But it's more about when my mind wanders. Yeah eating and sleeping and showering and whatnot help when my mind wanders, but the counter force is stopping me from wanting to do any of those things. It's fucking ridiculous. I mean, I've been sitting in my room the past three days playing video games, eventually it becomes so blended that I inevitably end up thinking about whatever my mind wanders to and end up drowning out the game. Which is usually something, as you've mentioned, depressing as fuck. The only real question I have is what made me end up thinking like this? I'm not intelligent. You're far happier than I am (obviously not all the time, but you at least feign it well), and you