FIC: Weights and Measures - Breaking Bad, Walt/Jesse

[squonkfan]

Title: Weights and Measures
Pairing: Walt/Jesse
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1000
Spoilers: 3x13 - "Full Measure"
Other formats: AO3 || Russian translation (translated by pointlessride)
Disclaimer: This is an amateur, not-for-profit work of fiction. No attempt has been made to copyright characters and/or concepts owned by the Breaking Bad people, nor

Comments

[readishmael]

It's finally here! Yay! (I've seriously been waiting all day for this.)

Oh, man, this is so perfectly fucked-up. It pisses me off, it breaks my heart, it's blisteringly fucking hot. I can't even wrap my brain around how this can be so exciting and make me so miserable at the same time, but it means it's a perfect fit for the show. Poor Jesse. Goddamn Walt.

(Also, Jesse's begging does wonderful, terrible things to me. Jesus.)

[squonkfan]

It's finally here! Yay! (I've seriously been waiting all day for this.)

Aww, wow, that makes me feel good--not to mention exceedingly relieved that it seems as if it might've been worth the wait for you. I couldn't wait to post it, either! I feel immesurably better now.

Thank you so, so much for commenting tonight and for letting me know how you were affected. "I can't even wrap my brain around how this can be so exciting and make me so miserable at the same time, but it means it's a perfect fit for the show." YES! *fistpump* Amazing. Thank you! (Er, not that I want you to be miserable. But.)

I know, I know. Walt. I just. And Jesse--God. You know, I don't think I want this to happen on the show. I don't think I could deal. Let's leave it in fic, where we'll all be temporarily destroyed but we can bounce back with the knowledge that it didn't "really happen." But also we can still have the part where we get turned on.

Thank you again, so much.

[readishmael]

"You know, I don't think I want this to happen on the show. I don't think I could deal. Let's leave it in fic, where we'll all be temporarily destroyed but we can bounce back with the knowledge that it didn't "really happen." But also we can still have the part where we get turned on."

Well, a couple small changes and this would read like the kind of fluffy hurt/comfort scenario that my stupid sappy heart keeps wanting for them (which is part of what I love about the fic, how in a parallel dimension it could be something sweet, but in this reality it got all warped), and then they could do it on the show without making me suffer for it...but of course then it wouldn't fit.

[squonkfan]

Speaking of changes, Jesse totally wears boxers, doesn't he? Whoops. *quietly fixes*

I have a deep-seated need for h/c fluff, too, so I understand. But as you suggest, if canon did it that way we'd all think they'd JTS. Canonically "ABQ" has some of the purest h/c between male characters I've seen in a while, but even that is completely screwed up and tainted (though still admittedly satisfying in its way).

Of course nothing we could have on the show would be quite as explicit as fic anyway, but if we set aside the heterosexist double standard for such things, they could conceivably come somewhat close. And certainly they could make it just as horrible and fucked up without actually showing too much. That's what I'm not sure my heart could take. Gah.

[vegarin]

Dude. Dude. Duuude.

I was about to hit the bed without checking the flist, but obviously there was a reason I had to check because, this? Dude.

That was insanely hot and heartbreaking. And so deliciously fucked up, even by the Breaking Bad standard of things. I love how Walt keep wavering between ferocious unstability and self-hate reflected and projected onto Jesse, and Jesse... ::cry::

You can't see it, can't see it, can't see it.

Neither can I, and damn, you keep having Walt call him "son". Now that's just mean. And "you're the good guy"? Agh. Walt, goddamnyou. Loved the second-person POV here - it really does capture Walt's psyche in all its glory, in a graphic and disturbing level of details. And all of that without wasting too many words, too. I love this economy of words.

Also loved the last paragraph, how it echoes the "Do it, Jesse!" line from Full Measure, how it seemingly ends ambiguously but really doesn't at the same time. A perfecct ending, really, though obviously I want more. You're evil, I tell you.

[squonkfan]

Neither can I, and damn, you keep having Walt call him "son". Now that's just mean.

Oh, for sure. And I struggled with that, both times I did it. It was so hard to accept the idea that that was the right thing for the character. I'm glad I stuck it out, though. Those instances are really kind of at the heart of the story for me.

Loved the second-person POV here - it really does capture Walt's psyche in all its glory, in a graphic and disturbing level of details.

Whew, thanks! I have never written second-person before. I thought about adding the POV to the warnings section. :) I've seen it done well so few times, so I was unsure about it (and it's actually not my favorite thing to read usually). But it seemed really suited for what I needed to do with Walt.

I love this economy of words.

I love that you mention it and found it effective.

Also loved the last paragraph, how it echoes the "Do it, Jesse!" line from Full Measure, how it seemingly ends ambiguously but really doesn't at the same time.

♥ ♥ ♥

A perfecct ending, really,

[vegarin]

I'm glad I stuck it out, though.

Oh, I totally agree. That really fit wonderfully in the context, twisting the knife and all. But I still maintain that it was mean. :P

As for the second-person POV, I think you made it work fantastically well. In fact, I think the story is better for it, because it goes so well with Walt's rather, uh, disturbed mindset. And on a very technical note, I like that with the use of "you" the writer doesn't have to abuse "he" or "she" as much, and the internal struggle of the character seems to become so much more immediate and evident.

That is, when it's done well, of course, and it definitely was with this one. So much love. <3

[squonkfan]

Oh, I totally agree. That really fit wonderfully in the context, twisting the knife and all. But I still maintain that it was mean. :P

Maintain away. ;) It's funny though, because as I was saying to readishmael in her prompts post, I have always, always imagined that kind of dialogue happening in Walt/Jesse: "son", "good boy", etc. But when I went to actually write it myself, I found it difficult to do. I wasn't squicked, it was just...reasons I can't exactly pinpoint. I guess I've just never handled anything quite like these two before.

And on a very technical note, I like that with the use of "you" the writer doesn't have to abuse "he" or "she" as much

That's the kind of thing that I feel like gets easier with practice. I've learned not to be afraid to use the actual characters' names a lot, especially where there might be ambiguity, but I used to be Epithet Girl. (Wait, wasn't that an episode of Buffy? ;)) I cringe at a lot of that older stuff. As we all generally do with our initial creative efforts.

That is, when it's done well, of

[fakepoptart]

Guuuhhhhhhhhh

(Cannot form words when my jaw's on the floor.)

Seriously, though- hot. HOT. And dark, beautifully, repulsively, wonderfully dark. Succint, sexy, and a whole lot of other positive adjectives I'd shove at you but I think you get the point.

*Willrefrainfrombeggingformorebutit'stakingalotofeffort*

[squonkfan]

*gently picks up your jaw, dusts it off*

Thank you so much!! I'm so, so happy that you enjoyed it.

*Willrefrainfrombeggingformorebutit'stakingalotofeffort*

I would love to write more. I truly would. But it's probably not possible during the semester. Maybe I could work on another BB fic in lieu of Yuletide this year.

BLOWFISH!!! YEAH!!!

[fakepoptart]

Psshhh semesters. Mine has already outstayed its welcome. I wanna write ff, not read the Mahabaharata. >:/

But yeah I gotta say again how awesome this fic is; and how very very envious/admirative I am of the 'economy of words' ( to steal vegarin's befitting description) because concise is one thing I absolutely am not. Damn you -- I say that as warmly as possible. :D

BLOWFIIIIIIIIISH! WOO!

[squonkfan]

I wanna write ff, not read the Mahabaharata.

Dude. You're not reading it in Sanskrit, are you?

I'm reading Barbour's Religion and Science. It's pretty noxious. At least I was vaguely entertained when I got to the section on Heisenberg.

[communicator]

This is a really great fic squonkfan. I feel there's a tension arising from the show, which is now only starting to be resolved into these great sexy fics we are reading now, and this is a great example. I think the second person is just right. I particularly like this type of story where what is happening is quite simple, but there's a massive freight of meaning behind it. And I like the way the very strong power dynamic is expressed through something very simple; forcing Jesse to ask, but just gently, persuasively. That's exactly what the dynamic is like, expressed in a physical interaction. Perfect.

(ETA - well, not that gently. Ahem. But very controlled. I can just so imagine Walt saying 'Again, Jesse'. I can hear it now in my head.)

[squonkfan]

Indeed, not too gently, but not in an exaggeratedly aggressive way. The relative ease of it is a major turn-on for Walt--one small, firm verbal and tactile push, and he has him--but I could also definitely see a Defiant!Jesse doing just as much for him. That, too, could have been an interesting way to go in this situation, and/or an interesting way to continue. (I tend to think Jesse is a little too vulnerable right here, though, for it to fit quite right.) In any event, I'm so very glad you could hear Walt in that moment!

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm delighted that it worked for you.

[sinloi]

Well, you killed me. I hope you're happy. :P But, in all seriousness, this is just utterly beautiful. I mean, it's horrible, yeah, but in the absolute best possible way. This is definitely getting mem'd.

I'm gonna go try and resuscitate myself now and take a cold shower.

(Also, omg The Me and Thee archive. Starsky & Hutch fan? I may have to friend you.)

[squonkfan]

Well, you killed me. I hope you're happy. :P

Very!! I mean...no. Bad. Very bad. :)

But thank you so much for the lovely feedback! I'm so glad it worked for you.

Starsky & Hutch fan?

Yep. I have a (gen) S&H fic on this very journal. Haven't been heavily involved in that fandom for quite a long time, but it's always a favorite.