The big announcement...
For those of you who haven't heard the news already, my beloved Teeka and I got married last Friday evening.
I'm so, so very happy... I have trouble even approaching the subject-- I have no idea how to even begin expressing my joy over this. It's such a huge event and such a huge milestone of life for us both...
Actually, getting married on Friday certainly wasn't our plan earlier in the week. We knew we didn't want to make a huge event of it; Honestly, I think Teeka and would have liked to have just done it as casually as possible, and to have just our parents present for the minimal ceremony. But my parents espeecially like the traditions and didn't seem happy with our plans just to do something short and sweet at the courthouse and have that be it.
So, Teeka and I sat down over the past couple weeks and decided we would just do it at the courthouse here in Moscow, then throw a dinner for our guests, which we were hoping to be just our family members and a couple close friends. True, this isn't what my parents would have liked, but in life you have to compromise, and this was the compromise we came up with (and were not all that happy about, either). One of the biggest hang-ups we had is the fact that my immediate family consists of around 30 people, but Teeka's consists of only a hand-full. Also, considering that Teeka's parents would be the only ones on her side of the family able to come out here, while I'm certain my parents would have paid to get all of my siblings and possibly their kids to the event... and it makes for a very one-sided celebration. Ever see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" Yeah. Just like that.
Anyway, all this was going to happen in April. We got the information we needed and made the appointment with the judge, had plans for which restaurant we wanted to meet at, and were otherwise smooth-sailing until Thursday afternoon. You see, I just started a new job at Washington State University, and last Thursday was the first opportunity I'd had to attend a benefits orientation meeting. Now, all along I'd been going under the assumption that I'd be able to get Teeka insured under a 'domestic partner' clause, so that she could get medical treatment if she needed it, without bankrupting us. I was able to do this at CarDomain where I worked previously, and here at this liberal college-- where 'sexual-orientation' was a protected class, and where same-sex domestic partners are recognized and treated equally as spouses, there wouldn't be a problem, right?
Well, it turns out the wording in the insurance paperwork is 'spouse or same-sex domestic partner.' When I'd read through this information previously, I'd thought maybe they just messed-up on the wording or wanted to make it especially clear that same-sex parners are an OK thing at WSU. But the truth is that insurance companies never screw up the wording. Spouses are covered. Same-sex domestic partners are covered. Different-sex domestic partners are not.
The truly ironic part was that just the day before I underwent a new-employee orientation, part of which was taught by a representative from the Center for Human Rights who spent a good portion of her time making it absolutely, 100%, completely clear that no employee, organization, or entity within WSU is allowed to make any discriminatory act, comment, or practice on the basis of sex, sexual-orientation, marital status, religion, etc., etc., etc. And yet, I'm feeling very discrimanated against because my chosen life-partner happens to be a woman, and she's not yet married to me. (And just to add to the irony-- the Center for Human Rights and the Benefits Office are in the same building, and I think on the same floor.) Yay. Right hand, meet left hand. Don't get me wrong-- I'm very happy the University I work for makes a special effort to protect the rights of the 'alternative sexualities' (as they put it)... Not enough organizations do try to do this kind of thing. (Eg. At the University of Idaho, just 10 miles away, you can be fired for being gay.) but at the same time, I really hate being affected by this kind of lack-of-common-sense bone-headedness that seems to be so prevalent in government-funded organizations. And it's usually the sort of thing a huge lawsuit needs to be fought about and millions of dollars spent to correct...
So here's the dilemma: Teeka and I have continued insurance coverage through my old employer thanks to the COBRA laws in place today. But, there's a clause in this coverage that states that this coverage ends the moment I get covered by a new insurance plan. On March 1, WSU will start insuring me. I have no choice about this-- if I don't choose a coverage plan, they'll choose one for me and I can do nothing to prevent or delay this at all. At the same time, WSU refuses to insure my opposite-sex domestic partner (live-in fiancee). So, come March 1, I'm now under one of WSU's plans, and Teeka has no insurance. If we got married on April 8, as we wanted to, then she'd first be elligible for insurance on May 1. In the mean time, if anything happened to Teeka, we'd be paying the total costs for this out of our pretty meager WSU earnings. And once insurance kicks in? Well, then it'd be a pre-existing condition. And wouldn't you know it-- Teeka is currently having stomach issues where she really needs to see a doctor. If we delay until May 1, there's a good chance permanent dammage will be done. And they'd probably be able to figure out the problems have been happening since February... And... well, I just don't want Teeka to be in pain at night.
God, I hate insurance companies. They're nothing but a bunch of lawyers and accountants who've figured out how to make a profit from human suffering-- yes, your average employee of one of these companies is a pretty nice person... but the ethics of the company as a whole, and what they're trying to accomplish... it's just so slimy. I wonder sometimes how these people can sleep at night. Privatized, for-profit health care sucks ass.
The light at the end of the tunnel? There is no waiting period for a marriage license in Idaho. In fact, as long as you have a photo ID and are willing to swear you're not related to your spouse-to-be in any way that would make marriage illegal, you can get it all done in a single day. There's a business in Coeur d'Alene that actually facilitates this sort of thing...
So... after calling our parents and explaining the situation to them, Teeka and I decided to flip the bird to WSU's benefits department and went to The Hitching Post in Coeur d'Alene to get married last Friday.
It's been a very emotional week for us, and I'm happy to say, it's at leasted ended on a wonderfully high note. All throughout this weekend I would steal little glances at Teekachu and hug her a little tighter... just knowing that she's my wife. It's... just so awesome!
And we're making the most of the situation-- when you've got your friends, his family, and her family in very geographically-remote parts of the country, there's just no fair way to come up with a location for the wedding. So this way, nobody but Teeka, the minister, and I were there (with our parents listening on speaker-phone)... We're hoping to plan a reception in Seattle, Boise, and South Carolina each in the next few months-- certainly we want to celebrate the event, and this way we can do it with everyone.
In any case, I hope all of our Seattle friends weren't offended by Teeka's and my abrupt decision. When we got up on Thursday morning, we had no idea we'd be getting married a little over 24 hours later.
And now... we've got the rest of our lives together to look forward to. (And hopefully we'll have that health-care coverage thing taken care of from here on out.)
...
So... that's the news with the marriage...
In other news, in brief, at the end of January, after accepting the job offer at WSU and making arrangements to leave CarDomain, Teeka and I purchased a 14x70 mobile home and had it moved to a very cozy, out-of-the-way, small park south of Moscow, Idaho. We couldn't be happier living here. The neighbors are nice, and our landlords are just awesome-- they've been willing to bend over backward for us like you wouldn't believe. Living in a small town in Idaho is just wonderful!
On another note, don't touch DirecWay Satellite Internet service with a 10 1/2 foot pole! Teeka and I ordered and had it installed earlier this month since we wanted to see how well it worked (so that we would know whether we'd have to be concerned about having access to other high-speed internet options when we purchase the land on which we'll eventually be building our home). In summary, in my professional opinion, if your internet habits are such that you can survive on Direcway's "Broadband" service, you can more easily survive on a dial-up account. I kid you not. (I'll probably go into the technical reasons for this in another post-- Teeka and I are so pissed and are still trying to get our money back for what currently amounts to an expensive, ugly lawn-ornament in our back yard.) I've already filed an investigative complaint with my bank about DirecWay (the "purposely 3rd-party" sales company line never answers the phone and has yet to return a call on the several messages I've left-- if they don't respond to the bank, the bank will essentially refund my money and give the sales company a very bad credit rating for this stunt.) We'll be filing a report with the better business bureau when we get time later this week. I'm also thinking about purchasing a pointedly-named domain, setting up an information page on Direcway's sales practices and my reasoning as to why their 'broadband' service isn't, and doing my best to ensure this page gets crawled by the major search engines to hopefully deter any future business Direcway might get.
But right now, Teeka and I are on our not-quite-a-honeymoon. (We're hoping to have a 'real' honeymoon later this summer.)
And... that's it for now, eh!
I'm so, so very happy... I have trouble even approaching the subject-- I have no idea how to even begin expressing my joy over this. It's such a huge event and such a huge milestone of life for us both...
Actually, getting married on Friday certainly wasn't our plan earlier in the week. We knew we didn't want to make a huge event of it; Honestly, I think Teeka and would have liked to have just done it as casually as possible, and to have just our parents present for the minimal ceremony. But my parents espeecially like the traditions and didn't seem happy with our plans just to do something short and sweet at the courthouse and have that be it.
So, Teeka and I sat down over the past couple weeks and decided we would just do it at the courthouse here in Moscow, then throw a dinner for our guests, which we were hoping to be just our family members and a couple close friends. True, this isn't what my parents would have liked, but in life you have to compromise, and this was the compromise we came up with (and were not all that happy about, either). One of the biggest hang-ups we had is the fact that my immediate family consists of around 30 people, but Teeka's consists of only a hand-full. Also, considering that Teeka's parents would be the only ones on her side of the family able to come out here, while I'm certain my parents would have paid to get all of my siblings and possibly their kids to the event... and it makes for a very one-sided celebration. Ever see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" Yeah. Just like that.
Anyway, all this was going to happen in April. We got the information we needed and made the appointment with the judge, had plans for which restaurant we wanted to meet at, and were otherwise smooth-sailing until Thursday afternoon. You see, I just started a new job at Washington State University, and last Thursday was the first opportunity I'd had to attend a benefits orientation meeting. Now, all along I'd been going under the assumption that I'd be able to get Teeka insured under a 'domestic partner' clause, so that she could get medical treatment if she needed it, without bankrupting us. I was able to do this at CarDomain where I worked previously, and here at this liberal college-- where 'sexual-orientation' was a protected class, and where same-sex domestic partners are recognized and treated equally as spouses, there wouldn't be a problem, right?
Well, it turns out the wording in the insurance paperwork is 'spouse or same-sex domestic partner.' When I'd read through this information previously, I'd thought maybe they just messed-up on the wording or wanted to make it especially clear that same-sex parners are an OK thing at WSU. But the truth is that insurance companies never screw up the wording. Spouses are covered. Same-sex domestic partners are covered. Different-sex domestic partners are not.
The truly ironic part was that just the day before I underwent a new-employee orientation, part of which was taught by a representative from the Center for Human Rights who spent a good portion of her time making it absolutely, 100%, completely clear that no employee, organization, or entity within WSU is allowed to make any discriminatory act, comment, or practice on the basis of sex, sexual-orientation, marital status, religion, etc., etc., etc. And yet, I'm feeling very discrimanated against because my chosen life-partner happens to be a woman, and she's not yet married to me. (And just to add to the irony-- the Center for Human Rights and the Benefits Office are in the same building, and I think on the same floor.) Yay. Right hand, meet left hand. Don't get me wrong-- I'm very happy the University I work for makes a special effort to protect the rights of the 'alternative sexualities' (as they put it)... Not enough organizations do try to do this kind of thing. (Eg. At the University of Idaho, just 10 miles away, you can be fired for being gay.) but at the same time, I really hate being affected by this kind of lack-of-common-sense bone-headedness that seems to be so prevalent in government-funded organizations. And it's usually the sort of thing a huge lawsuit needs to be fought about and millions of dollars spent to correct...
So here's the dilemma: Teeka and I have continued insurance coverage through my old employer thanks to the COBRA laws in place today. But, there's a clause in this coverage that states that this coverage ends the moment I get covered by a new insurance plan. On March 1, WSU will start insuring me. I have no choice about this-- if I don't choose a coverage plan, they'll choose one for me and I can do nothing to prevent or delay this at all. At the same time, WSU refuses to insure my opposite-sex domestic partner (live-in fiancee). So, come March 1, I'm now under one of WSU's plans, and Teeka has no insurance. If we got married on April 8, as we wanted to, then she'd first be elligible for insurance on May 1. In the mean time, if anything happened to Teeka, we'd be paying the total costs for this out of our pretty meager WSU earnings. And once insurance kicks in? Well, then it'd be a pre-existing condition. And wouldn't you know it-- Teeka is currently having stomach issues where she really needs to see a doctor. If we delay until May 1, there's a good chance permanent dammage will be done. And they'd probably be able to figure out the problems have been happening since February... And... well, I just don't want Teeka to be in pain at night.
God, I hate insurance companies. They're nothing but a bunch of lawyers and accountants who've figured out how to make a profit from human suffering-- yes, your average employee of one of these companies is a pretty nice person... but the ethics of the company as a whole, and what they're trying to accomplish... it's just so slimy. I wonder sometimes how these people can sleep at night. Privatized, for-profit health care sucks ass.
The light at the end of the tunnel? There is no waiting period for a marriage license in Idaho. In fact, as long as you have a photo ID and are willing to swear you're not related to your spouse-to-be in any way that would make marriage illegal, you can get it all done in a single day. There's a business in Coeur d'Alene that actually facilitates this sort of thing...
So... after calling our parents and explaining the situation to them, Teeka and I decided to flip the bird to WSU's benefits department and went to The Hitching Post in Coeur d'Alene to get married last Friday.
It's been a very emotional week for us, and I'm happy to say, it's at leasted ended on a wonderfully high note. All throughout this weekend I would steal little glances at Teekachu and hug her a little tighter... just knowing that she's my wife. It's... just so awesome!
And we're making the most of the situation-- when you've got your friends, his family, and her family in very geographically-remote parts of the country, there's just no fair way to come up with a location for the wedding. So this way, nobody but Teeka, the minister, and I were there (with our parents listening on speaker-phone)... We're hoping to plan a reception in Seattle, Boise, and South Carolina each in the next few months-- certainly we want to celebrate the event, and this way we can do it with everyone.
In any case, I hope all of our Seattle friends weren't offended by Teeka's and my abrupt decision. When we got up on Thursday morning, we had no idea we'd be getting married a little over 24 hours later.
And now... we've got the rest of our lives together to look forward to. (And hopefully we'll have that health-care coverage thing taken care of from here on out.)
...
So... that's the news with the marriage...
In other news, in brief, at the end of January, after accepting the job offer at WSU and making arrangements to leave CarDomain, Teeka and I purchased a 14x70 mobile home and had it moved to a very cozy, out-of-the-way, small park south of Moscow, Idaho. We couldn't be happier living here. The neighbors are nice, and our landlords are just awesome-- they've been willing to bend over backward for us like you wouldn't believe. Living in a small town in Idaho is just wonderful!
On another note, don't touch DirecWay Satellite Internet service with a 10 1/2 foot pole! Teeka and I ordered and had it installed earlier this month since we wanted to see how well it worked (so that we would know whether we'd have to be concerned about having access to other high-speed internet options when we purchase the land on which we'll eventually be building our home). In summary, in my professional opinion, if your internet habits are such that you can survive on Direcway's "Broadband" service, you can more easily survive on a dial-up account. I kid you not. (I'll probably go into the technical reasons for this in another post-- Teeka and I are so pissed and are still trying to get our money back for what currently amounts to an expensive, ugly lawn-ornament in our back yard.) I've already filed an investigative complaint with my bank about DirecWay (the "purposely 3rd-party" sales company line never answers the phone and has yet to return a call on the several messages I've left-- if they don't respond to the bank, the bank will essentially refund my money and give the sales company a very bad credit rating for this stunt.) We'll be filing a report with the better business bureau when we get time later this week. I'm also thinking about purchasing a pointedly-named domain, setting up an information page on Direcway's sales practices and my reasoning as to why their 'broadband' service isn't, and doing my best to ensure this page gets crawled by the major search engines to hopefully deter any future business Direcway might get.
But right now, Teeka and I are on our not-quite-a-honeymoon. (We're hoping to have a 'real' honeymoon later this summer.)
And... that's it for now, eh!