Honey, I'm ho-ome!
So, as the subject line says, I’m home. For nine days total. I’ve been back since the 13th. I wrote about three thousand words today for “Queen’s Gambit”.
I’ve been hit by mondo plot bunnies, and a lot of them today. One of them I’m going to pass on, because I don’t really like the subject matter. The normal universes, i.e. “everyone is normal, there are no vampires, and everyone is happy, la-dee-da-dee-da” stories drive me up the wall. But I think I figured out how to make one work. Set it in the “Normal Again” universe. Supposedly, Spike and Angel are based on guys she knows at school. The others are all people she made up, knows in real life, combined, tweaked, whatever. But what if Joyce meets Willow or Xander, or Giles. I think she’d recognize the names, I mean, how many people are named Willow? As I said, I won’t write it myself, but if anyone wants it … take it and run.
I still have eight written but unposted 70 Questions. If I were on any other computer (this monitor keeps going out, driving me nuts), I’d go on and post them. Actually, you know what? I’ll post it anyhow. (I am rather pleased to note that even thought the screen is currently off, I can still type just as quick as normal. I wonder why I failed Keyboard 196? I don’t know why the number was 196, it just was. And I failed it, never mind that I can type about 105 words a minute without typos. As long as I’m not tired.)
Get ready for mass question postage.
Dear Mayor Wilkins,
I hope that you will seriously consider me for your town’s high school. I think it would be of mutual benefit to us both. You need someone who can control your students into submission, and I need a warmer climate. I must say that these were rather unconventional questions, but I was honest with them.
Cordially,
Principal Stanley Snyder
Dear Mr. Snyder,
I regret to inform you that we have already found an adequate principal. However, should anything happen to him, I would be delighted to have you join our educational staff. You should be hearing from me shortly.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III
I’d do more right now, except I need to go to bed, and this stupid screen went out about five times in the last ten minutes.
I’ve been hit by mondo plot bunnies, and a lot of them today. One of them I’m going to pass on, because I don’t really like the subject matter. The normal universes, i.e. “everyone is normal, there are no vampires, and everyone is happy, la-dee-da-dee-da” stories drive me up the wall. But I think I figured out how to make one work. Set it in the “Normal Again” universe. Supposedly, Spike and Angel are based on guys she knows at school. The others are all people she made up, knows in real life, combined, tweaked, whatever. But what if Joyce meets Willow or Xander, or Giles. I think she’d recognize the names, I mean, how many people are named Willow? As I said, I won’t write it myself, but if anyone wants it … take it and run.
I still have eight written but unposted 70 Questions. If I were on any other computer (this monitor keeps going out, driving me nuts), I’d go on and post them. Actually, you know what? I’ll post it anyhow. (I am rather pleased to note that even thought the screen is currently off, I can still type just as quick as normal. I wonder why I failed Keyboard 196? I don’t know why the number was 196, it just was. And I failed it, never mind that I can type about 105 words a minute without typos. As long as I’m not tired.)
Get ready for mass question postage.
Dear Mayor Wilkins,
I hope that you will seriously consider me for your town’s high school. I think it would be of mutual benefit to us both. You need someone who can control your students into submission, and I need a warmer climate. I must say that these were rather unconventional questions, but I was honest with them.
Cordially,
Principal Stanley Snyder
- DO YOU SNORE?
There’s no one around for it to bother. - ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Neither. - WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Spiders. - AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I didn’t play. - WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REALITY TV?
I don’t watch it, and I try not to think about it. - DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No. - WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
My ears have always been to big for me to be considered “cute”. - IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Life seems to think so. I’m not disagreeing. - WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Beige. - DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
I don’t sing. EVER. - HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
I’m not an idiot. - ANY SECRET TALENTS?
No. - WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Anywhere that doesn’t have teenagers. - IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
No. - CAN YOU SWIM?
Only for necessity. - HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
Which movie? - DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I’m a principal, I have to. - HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
Why do I care? - CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Why do you care? - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Twice. - ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
My parents informed that I was more than enough. - DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
Electrical. Gets things done faster. - WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I don’t do it. - IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
No. - DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes. - WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Insubordination. - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, I LOVE YOU?
I don’t say something unless I mean it. - IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
I hope not. - DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No. - HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don’t. - ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason: they’re based on truth. - WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Again, I have to ask, why do I care? - WHAT TIME IS IT?
7:52 PM. - DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Besides Ferengi and Rat-man? - IS McDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
Yes. And the people who work there deserve it. They could learn how to do real work if they wanted to put in the effort. - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
This afternoon, alone. - DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers. - IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
He, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are coming over to my house for dinner. - DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
That’s personal. - ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
No. - WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Control. - CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Peanut butter is eaten for sustenance only. - CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
I’m not on TV. - HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No. Nor do I want to. - HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Three. - IS DRUG-FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Yes. You ask as though I’d really say no. - ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No. - WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown. - WHAT DO YOU WANT MOST FROM LIFE?
Power, order, and respect. - DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Most of the time. - DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
No. - ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I don’t believe in that sort of thing. - HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yes. - DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I used to play trombone in band. - HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
No. - CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No. - DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
No. - DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No. - DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I already told you, I don’t believe in that hocus-pocus stuff. There’s always a rational explanation for those tricks. - ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
They’re not mine. - DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I was raised in a different era. Even if you were miserable, you stuck it through. - CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
No. - DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
No more than the next guy, but certainly less. - IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It’s New York in January. You’re welcome to come to your own conclusion. - WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Rice. - DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
I want to make a smart comment, but I’m holding it in. - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
I could sue you for sexual harassment. - WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I don’t watch TV. It’s a waste of time. - DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I do my best to avoid places where my students might possibly be. Seeing them in the day is bad enough, I don’t want to have to deal with them in my free time. I wouldn’t have to be nice to them then. - FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I listen to jazz.
Dear Mr. Snyder,
I regret to inform you that we have already found an adequate principal. However, should anything happen to him, I would be delighted to have you join our educational staff. You should be hearing from me shortly.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III
I’d do more right now, except I need to go to bed, and this stupid screen went out about five times in the last ten minutes.