70 Questions: Anya

[sroni]

I’m home again!! Yay!! I’m doing my happy dance, which looks suspiciously like the Snoopy dance, except with circles. My family is currently driving me nuts. It’s great! There’s only one slight problem. I’ve been telling them for the last year and a half that I’ve grown and changed, but whenever I get around them, I revert back into my old personality. It’s so easy to go back to who I used to be, because then I don’t have to explain my changes. Ah, I’ll figure it out. Soon.

So, I wrote some more 70 questions. Let’s see if you can guess! (That’s slightly sarcastic, but mainly it’s facetious.)

From the personal files of High Watcher, Rupert Giles
Transcription of oral interview

Look, Giles, can we just get this over with? Xander and I have a great day planned, and I really want to get my daily quota of orgasms.

1. Do you snore?
   Xander hasn’t told me that I have, so I guess I don’t.


2. Are you a lover or fighter?
   Lover. Most definitely.


3. What is your worst fear?
   BUNNIES! If I had to get stranded in an alternate world, or non-alternate world, why couldn’t it have been the one without bunnies?


4. As a kid, were you a Lego maniac?
   We didn’t have Legos. I did have fun with the spells that I could get my hands on, though.


5. What do you think of ‘Reality TV’?
   I don’t watch TV. Real life gives me all the laughs, drama, and tears that I need.


6. Do you chew your straw?
   Is this a sex question? Beause if it is, you can ask. You don’t need to use euphemisms.


7. Were you a cute baby?
   I’m sure that I was the cutest. I wouldn’t really know, since we didn’t really have pictures back then.


8. Is the single life for you?
   Xander didn’t ask you to ask this, did he?


9. What color is your keyboard?
   Um, Willow’s is black. I don’t own a computer. It costs too much money for its value.


10. Do you sing in the shower?
    No. Usually Xander’s in there with me.


11. Have you ever bungee jumped?
    No.


12. Any secret talents?
    I don’t think I’m allowed to say. Xander would kill me.


13. What’s your ideal vacation spot?
    Remember that world without bunnies?


14. Is Jay Leno funny?
    I told you, I don’t watch TV. I’m usually too busy.


15. Can you swim?
    Yeah, Xander taught me how so that we could have some … never mind.


16. Have you seen the movie “Donnie Darko”?
    Isn’t that the one with the pscho BUNNY!? because I refused to watch it.


17. Do you give a damn about the ozone?
    The what?


18. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
    Is this another sex question? Because, honestly, it won’t embarrasss me.


19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
    If that’s what does it for you … find someone else.


20. Have you ever been in an airplane?
    No. I teleport.


21. Are you an only child?
    In which life?


22. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpener?
    The electric ones vibrate.


23. What’s your take on hunting?
    KILL THE BUNNIES!!!


24. Is marriage in your future?
    Did Xander tell you to ask this? Because if he did, tell him to ask me himself.


25. Do you like your handwriting?
    Sure.


26. What are you allergic to?
    Carrots disturb me.


27. When was the last time you said, “I love you”?
    To Xander this morning, immediately followed by, “Oh, my God!” Giles, why are you turning red?


28. Is Elvis still alive?
    Yes. I’ve visited Priscilla.


29. Do you cry at weddings?
    Yes. I feel so sorry for the wives. They’re going to be stuck with the same guy for the rest of their lives.


30. How do you like your eggs?
    Xander and I are too busy for breakfast.


31. Are blondes dumb?
    As long as I’m not one this month.


32. Where does the other sock end up?
    Graltoth draws them to his dimension and devours them.


33. What time is it?
    10:25 am.


34. Do you have a nickname?
    Ahn. In this life.


35. Is McDonalds disgusting?
    The bathrooms are.


36. When was the last time you were in a car, and who were you with?
    Xander and I were in your car. The one shaped like a penis … Wait, do you actually have to be going somewhere?


37. Do you prefer baths or showers?
    I don’t really care, as long as I’m not alone.


38. Is Santa Claus real?
    I’ve met him. I told you. He disembowels kids.


39. Do you like to have your neck kissed?
    Yeah. It works.


40. Are you afraid of the dark?
    I used to revel in it.


41. What are you addicted to?
    Sex? Giles, your glasses are clean. And your eyes don’t affect your ears, so don’t pretend that you didn’t hear me.


42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
    Creamy.


43. Can you crack your neck?
    I don’t mean to, but sometimes it happens.


44. Have you ever ridden in an abulance?
    Too many times.


45. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
    Twice? I don’t know.


46. Is drug free the way to be?
    Yes. Otherwise, I see rabbits everywhere.


47. Are you a heavy sleeper?
    I don’t really sleep.


48. What color are your eyes?
    I don’t know. They’re my eyes. It’s not like I spend a lot of time looking at them.


49. Do you recycle?
    Please. If it made sense economically, they wouldn’t need laws compelling it.


50. Do you like your life?
    Most of the time.


51. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
    Earrings.


52. Are you psychic?
    No.


53. Have you read “Catcher in the Rye”?
    What?


54. Do you play any instruments?
    Nope.


55. Have you ever stolen money?
    Um, yeah. Money is the best.


56. Can you snowboard?
    I haven’t tried. Hey … never mind.


57. Do you like camping?
    Only when Xander and I are alone.


58. Do you snort when you laugh?
    I refuse to admit it if I do.


59. Do you believe in magic?
    Why are you asking me this?


60. Are dogs a man’s best friend?
    No, but they can make good sacrifices.


61. Do you believe in divorce?
    Why?


62. Can you do the moonwalk?
    The what?


63. Do you make many mistakes?
    None that I’ll admit.


64. Is it cold outside today?
    Not really.


65. What was the last thing you ate?
    A sandwich?


66. Do you wear nail polish?
    Sometimes.


67. Have you ever been kissed?
    Giles? What kind of question is this? We kissed during Willow’s spell that Tara broke up with her right afterwards, remember?


68. What is the most annoying TV commercial?
    I told you, I don’t watch TV.


69. Do you shop at American Eagle?
    No.


70. Favorite band at the moment?
    Um, whichever one sings that one song.

That was kind of fun. Can we do this again sometime?

(I suppose I should have mentioned that in my head, Giles was asking the questions, and writing down her answers. What I wrote was the taped version.) This would definitely be a very not-me version fo these answers. I was turning red writing it. But, that could also be from laughter. My brother was reading this over my shoulder, and was offering me his opinions. And making smart remarks that I could do without.