"Ye are even as the bird which soareth, with the full force of its mighty wings and with complete and joyous confidence, through the immensity of the heavens, until, impelled to satisfy its hunger, it turneth longingly to the water and clay of the earth below it, and, having been entrapped in the mesh of its desire, findeth itself impotent to ( Read more... )

Last time I got the personal phone call, right after the husband and the parents. This time, someone else got my phone call, and I found out via facebook. Last time I helped with the shower, and this time I wonder if I'll even be invited. I already felt like I don't have any close friends: people who see life the same way that I do, who have the ( Read more... )

You know how sometimes you are so devoted to whatever it may be that you are wanting? Like your team to win, or getting that stray hair to lie flat, or keeping your dignity and autonomy intact? Yeah, that. Sometimes it just gets to the point where you are simply ready to give up. When you no longer care about the fact that you are a GROWN WOMAN and ( Read more... )

During this Fast, I have spent a lot of time in places that I haven't wanted to be. I have spent a lot of time doing things I didn't want to do. None of which were bad or were things I shouldn't be doing. They were just things that I DIDN'T WANT TO DO. And while listening to others complain, I found myself complaining, as well. And I realized that ( Read more... )

Lately I've been really good about missing him. I've been doing all right the last few months. I've actually gotten to the point where I don't even realize that it's the 22nd of a month, except for the year mark, of course ( Read more... )

You tell your friends that everything's all right,
The truth is that your heart collapsed one year ago tonight.

So fitting.

How does your heart relearn how to beat ( Read more... )

So today would have been Victor's 30th birthday. And so I'm going to do what I think we would have done if he was alive. Last year, we went to a movie (he suggested Maid of Honor because he knew I wanted to see it and that I would spend the whole time drooling over Patrick Dempsey. This is the guy he was: he wanted to spend HIS birthday doing ( Read more... )

First final of the semester is tonight. I'm going ever so slightly insane. Yeah, ever so slightly. My friend is in labor right now, and will be missing the final because of it, and I would rather be IN LABOR than taking this final. Good sign!

Per Tristan's mass request, a description of my perfect day rolled into three simple sentences ( Read more... )