(Untitled)

[sryope26]

Been thinking a lot lately - almost obsessively, I'm starting to think - about my motives & motivations for doing certain things. Namely, for the way I behave sexually. This is something that's not new for me - periodically, for reasons I've never been able to figure out, I'll start contemplating why I do the things I do, and I'll get stuck on it

Comments

[flamingjune07]

Why is it that I sometimes don't think a person is worth my time or effort if a) they don't express sexual interest in me or b) I don't feel sexual interest in them.

I think this last question is really the most important one, at least in terms of your own life (instead of, for instance, an academic approach to societal views of sex etc etc). I of course have no idea what the answer is to that, but it's a really serious question that deserves consideration, even (especially?) if that consideration feels uncomfortable or if you're tempted to write it off as somehow illiberal or something.

[semper_augustus]

"I spend a lot of time wondering why can't I just be friends with someone, w/o needing for there to be a sexual component."

It could be that you view the world sexually. Keep in mind that relating to people sexually does NOT mean you only relate to them if the possibility of the sex act is there. I relate to people intellectually, but it doesn't mean we have to agree on anything, only that they are able to follow my thoughts usefully and lead me on their thoughts usefully. If someone is incapable of this, I have little incentive for interaction. An intellectually capable girl is far more interesting to me than a hot vapid boy. I would rather spend all night talking to the woman than having sex with the man.

I was talking recently about how SM is a far different group than any I've ever belonged to before. The key word is milieu. SM is a milieu that has sexuality as its primary characteristic. Certainly there are other characteristics: drama, music, and we tend to be geeky. But is our primary characteristic

your comments

[sryope26]

I do understand what you're trying to say, and i agree - the world does often, see ONLY the sexual aspects of who i am, which makes me start to think that's all there is to me, and we all forget there are other parts. It is a vicious & frusterating cycle. Thank you, always, for striving to understand me, and trying to help me understand myself more.

Re: your comments

[semper_augustus]

Believe you me, I never forget that there are other parts of you. You're funny and smart and fierce in protecting those you love. You read and think and care. In between all these moments, you're sexiful. I just made that word up, but feel free to use it.

Re: your comments

[semper_augustus]

I've been thinking about this post and my response recently. Much of how the world sees me has been stamping through my head. I'll try to keep this methodical, so as not to ramble!

Theory: As much you tend to fall into the sex-mistress rôle without aforethought, I tend to fall into two categories, socially: little brother and saint. My youthful looks, demeanor, and stature, all play into this.

Observation: In SM, I noticed I have an almost unique position [please excuse me if I have tunnel vision]. Respected by all. Loved by all. Touched by none. Little brother. Saint.

Thought Experiment: Should a member of SM state, casually, that he/she had a new boyfriend/girlfriend, the reaction would be 90% nil. Like a blip on Facebook's News Feed. But, if I ever mentioned that I had a boyfriend, the reaction would most likely be one of extreme interest. I would likely be dragged by six interested people into a corner where I would quickly be interrogated. Who is he? How did I meet him? Etc.
I like people being protective of