Gone
Title: Gone
Pairing: Hanchul; Shihan (friendship)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heechul is angry that Hangeng didn't tell him about his leaving Super Junior, can Hangeng get Heechul to listen to him so he can explain?
A/N: angsty-ish in the beginning
*Slap
His faced jerked to the side as Heechul’s hand again connected with his face. He knew a hand-shaped bruise would form there the next morning, but he didn’t care, he didn’t move. He saw his hand move up again and he braced himself for the next slap. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Heechul’s hand come down.
“Look at me. Just look at me.”
Noticing the anguish in Heechul’s voice, he slowly raised his head up, stopping when he found tears trickling down his boyfriend’s face. His heart broke even more, knowing that it was he who had caused those tears, those tiny rivulets of water to fall. Hangeng raised his hand up, wanting to wipe away those tears.
“Stop. Don’t touch me. Stay away. I don’t know you anymore.”
“Please, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to listen. Leave me alone. Get out. Please, just get out.” Hangeng looked at him, eyes pleading, conveying his apology.
“Please Heechul, please don’t do this.”
“Fine, if you won’t go away, I will. Goodbye Hankyung.” Heechul’s eyes hardened as the emotions he had poured out a few moments ago were once again contained behind the wall he had spent years building. He then left without another word, not even turning back, not even acknowledging Hangeng anymore.
Hangeng sat down on the bed, shock written all over his face. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Heechul wasn’t supposed to find out until after he had left. He hadn’t known that their company, SME, would announce his termination to the public so soon. He heard the door to the apartment open and just as quickly was slammed shut.
He laid back down onto his bed, unsure of what he should do. Considering who he was dealing with, there really was nothing he could do until Heechul’s anger subsided. He decided to go find Siwon. Maybe he could help him get out of the trouble he was in.
-- -- --
Arriving at Siwon’s house fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the front door. Just as he was about to knock, he heard someone sobbing in there. Thinking it was Siwon he was about to walk away, not wanting to disturb whatever was happening in there; however, then he heard Siwon’s voice.
“Hyung, it’s okay. I’m sure Hankyung hyung had a reason for not telling you. Please don’t cry hyung.” Realizing that the one who was crying was Heechul, he left, not wanting to hear the reply. He wanted to go in, he really did, but he knew that it would be to no avail because Heechul was not someone that listens to reason. Leaving immediately, he went back into his car. He sat there for a while, contemplating all that has happened. He knew that Heechul would act this way if he ever found out, but then again, he had his reasons for not telling him.
Leaving Siwon’s house, he arrived home and fell down onto the couch, a massive headache beginning to form. Taking two aspirin, he decided to go to bed, hoping that maybe by then, Heechul would have calmed down. With a sigh, he felt sleep slowly overtake him.
-- -- --
He woke up a while later to the sound of his bedroom door opening. Seeing a tall skinny figure walk in, he realized that it was Heechul. However against his emotion and his heart, he pretended to keep sleeping; he didn’t want to deal with Heechul at that moment. He opened his eyes and tracked Heechul’s movement across the room. He saw him duck down under the bed and get out his suitcase. The one that Hangeng had brought for him the first time he had taken Heechul to China. Next, he saw Heechul go to the closet and take out some of the clothes he owned. He slowly realized that Heechul was leaving. Soon, he was done packing and Hangeng felt the side of the bed dip down as he saw his boyfriend sit down next to him.
“I know you are awake, Hankyung. Please, stop pretending.”
Hangeng was amazed that Heechul figured out he wasn’t sleeping anymore. He never knew Heechul could be so observant.
“I’m sorry. Will you please at least first think about it before you leave?”
“Hankyung, I have thought about it. I think we need to spend some time away from each other.”
Hankyung sighed and nodded his head in resignation.
“Fine, but where will you be staying?”
“I’m sorry but I can’t tell you in case you try and find me.”
As much as he wanted to cry, he held back the tears that were threatening to fall out. He didn’t want Heechul to leave, he wanted to make up to him right now, but he knew that was not to be the case. Whatever Heechul wants, he gets.
“No, no, I understand perfectly. But before you leave, I want to say again that I’m sorry and that I love you. So please take as much time as you need, I want you to be happy.”
A brief smile flashed across Heechul’s face but soon went away as Heechul walked out the door.
“Goodbye Hankyung.”
Not waiting for a reply, Heechul left in a much calmer fashion than he had done before. Hangeng sat back down as his tears slowly started to seep out from behind his closed eyelids. The brave front he had put on in front of Heechul dissolved as the seriousness of the situation finally sank in. He needed to talk to someone, preferably someone who knew of the situation, someone like Siwon.
-- -- --
He rang the doorbell again hoping Siwon would quickly answer the door as it was slowly becoming colder as day progressed into night. After a few more seconds, the door was opened, revealing Siwon clad in gym clothes.
“Ah, sorry Hankyung hyung, have you been standing there long? I was working out so I didn’t hear the doorbell until just now.”
“It’s fine, no worries. Have you heard anything from Heechul? Do you know if he is still angry at me?”
“Hyung, before we start talking about this, please come in.”
As Hangeng walked into Siwon’s house, he saw one of Heechul’s hair tie on the floor. Realizing it was Heechul’s most beloved one, he smiled briefly as he thought of how frantic Heechul most be at the moment. Picking it up and playing with it for a few moments, he put it in his pocket, hoping maybe he could find out where Heechul was staying and bring it to him.
“Please hyung, sit down. I’ll get us some tea.”
“No Siwon, its fine. Just, just tell me if he is still angry at me.”
“Hyung, to be honest, if I was him, I would be angry. He had to find out from an article that you were leaving. You didn’t tell him in person. He, out all people, deserved to know the most. Instead of telling me, the person you should have told was him.”
“Siwon, you know why I couldn’t.”
“I know hyung. That is why if it wasn’t for that, I would have told Heechul hyung the moment I found out.”
“And I sincerely thank you for that. Please could you tell me where Heechul is staying? I found his hair tie on the floor and want to bring it to him.”
“You know I can’t tell you that. Heechul specifically told me not to tell you where he is going. He is afraid-”
“I know, I know. It’s just that I was hoping I could talk to him while there, wherever there is.”
“Heechul hyung doesn’t want to hear it hyung.”
“I know, but, I have to try. I can’t just stay and not do anything. It hurts really bad to just wait for him to come back, I have to at least try to get him to listen to me. Even if it is the last time I ever talk to him, I have to explain to him why I did what I did.” Hangeng looked at Siwon intently, hoping to make him change his mind about telling him.
“Heechul hyung will kill me later once he finds out, but I guess you are right. He is staying with Kibum.”
Right as Siwon finished informing him, Hangeng stood up getting ready to leave.
“Thank you Siwon. I owe you one.”
“Just don’t screw things up more than they already are.”
Siwon didn’t know if Hangeng heard him at all as he was already halfway out the door.
With a destination in mind, he walked towards the car vowing not to leave until he had said all he needed to.
-- -- --
“Hey Kibum, are you free tonight? Do you want to go and watch a movie or something?” Heechul shouted across the room to his temporary roommate.
“Sorry hyung, I have to film a movie and then I’m meeting up with Donghae and Eunhyuk tonight. Apparently we are going to play video games and watch movies all night.”
Though Heechul nodded in understanding, he still muttered under his breath, “Hankyung would always drop his plans for me.”
Unfortunately, Kibum overheard and stomped over to where Heechul was sprawled on the floor.
“I’m fed up hyung, ever since you have arrived here, it has been Hankyung this, Hankyung that. If you want to be with him, just call him to come over.”
Unwilling to admit it, Heechul raised his head off the floor and replied with a shake of his head.
“Look hyung, even the shirt you’re wearing now is Hankyung’s. Take my advice and just call him. Maybe you two can sort out the issue. Anyways I have to go. I won’t be coming back tonight so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Ya, sure. See you tomorrow.”
Heechul closed his eyes and placed his headphones back onto his ears as he dropped his head onto the floor. With no one to talk to, he immersed himself into the music and quickly fell asleep.
-- -- --
“Ding”
Hangeng heard the doorbell ring inside as he stood patiently outside Kibum’s door. Nobody answered the door so he raised his hand to press the bell again. However, ringing the doorbell again brought about the same result as the first time so he instead, he turned the doorknob, hoping that maybe it was unlocked. To his surprise, it was.
Entering the pitch-black apartment, he wandered over to Kibum’s guest room. Hangeng knocked on the closed door and waited for a reply. The darkness loomed around him as if mimicking the emotion of the occupant behind the door. The door suddenly open’s and Hangeng sees Heechul face briefly before the door was slammed shut, almost hitting him in the face. He heard the lock click and sighed as he imagined Heechul returning to bed, a pillow clutched against his chest. Not caring about courtesy anymore, he walked towards the cabinet and took out a ring of keys. Having found the one that corresponded to the guest room, Hankyung hurried back towards said room and inserted the key into the lock. As he pushed open the door, he noticed that a sliver of light had creeped in from behind the curtained window and was shining directly on Heechul’s face. That was when he noticed the paths that Heechul’s tears had taken to fall from his eyes to the pillow currently underneath his head. Entering the room quickly, he immediately started to hurry to Heechul’s side; however, before he could take two steps, Heechul’s two cats, Heebum and Baengshin hissed at him.
“Take that as a warning and go away. Leave me alone,” Heechul suddenly said.
“Heechul, I can’t bear to see you hurt like this anymore.”
“Stop acting Hankyung, if you cared, you would have told me about your situation, not let me find out from news articles. Do you know how hurt I was? Not from the fact that your leaving, no, but from the fact that you didn’t even discuss it with me, you didn’t even tell me about it. Doesn’t our relationship mean anything to you? Did I ever mean anything to you, or was I just a worthless piece of garbage that you could throw away without any second thoughts?”
“It does, trust me, it really does, and I do love you. It’s just that I knew once my contract was terminated, SM wouldn’t let me visit you often. I thought that instead of going through the process of breaking up with you and having you all heartbroken, it would be better if, instead, you hated me. You weren’t supposed to find out until after I had left Korea. I thought that, since I didn’t tell you and just left, you would be so angry at me that you wouldn’t have the energy to miss me; I thought that this was the best way to deal with it. Plus, you mean the world to me Heechul; please don’t ever say that you are a worthless piece of garbage; I would never forget about you.”
By the time Hankyung was finished with his explanation, he was already sitting on the bed, and Heechul was sitting up with his hand almost touching Hankyung’s. He noticed that Heechul’s angry expression had softened somewhat. Laughing all of a sudden, Heechul opened his mouth and started speaking.
“You’re such a pabo, you suck at thinking, you should probably stop doing that.”
Chuckling slightly, Hankyung, glad that Heechul didn’t seem to be angry at him anymore, opened his mouth and started to protest.
“Hey, that’s not nice, it did make sense to me when I first thought about it. Siwon didn’t tell me that anything was wrong with the plan either,” Hankyung whined.
“Whatever, you still suck at thinking. Anyways, are you leaving immediately?”
“No, I’m still staying for a few days, but then I’m going back to China.”
The response that Hankyung got was Heechul pulling him into a great bear hug and the words “promise to never forget about me” murmured into his neck.
“I love you too much for that to ever happen, trust me.”
“I do.”
Pairing: Hanchul; Shihan (friendship)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heechul is angry that Hangeng didn't tell him about his leaving Super Junior, can Hangeng get Heechul to listen to him so he can explain?
A/N: angsty-ish in the beginning
*Slap
His faced jerked to the side as Heechul’s hand again connected with his face. He knew a hand-shaped bruise would form there the next morning, but he didn’t care, he didn’t move. He saw his hand move up again and he braced himself for the next slap. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Heechul’s hand come down.
“Look at me. Just look at me.”
Noticing the anguish in Heechul’s voice, he slowly raised his head up, stopping when he found tears trickling down his boyfriend’s face. His heart broke even more, knowing that it was he who had caused those tears, those tiny rivulets of water to fall. Hangeng raised his hand up, wanting to wipe away those tears.
“Stop. Don’t touch me. Stay away. I don’t know you anymore.”
“Please, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to listen. Leave me alone. Get out. Please, just get out.” Hangeng looked at him, eyes pleading, conveying his apology.
“Please Heechul, please don’t do this.”
“Fine, if you won’t go away, I will. Goodbye Hankyung.” Heechul’s eyes hardened as the emotions he had poured out a few moments ago were once again contained behind the wall he had spent years building. He then left without another word, not even turning back, not even acknowledging Hangeng anymore.
Hangeng sat down on the bed, shock written all over his face. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Heechul wasn’t supposed to find out until after he had left. He hadn’t known that their company, SME, would announce his termination to the public so soon. He heard the door to the apartment open and just as quickly was slammed shut.
He laid back down onto his bed, unsure of what he should do. Considering who he was dealing with, there really was nothing he could do until Heechul’s anger subsided. He decided to go find Siwon. Maybe he could help him get out of the trouble he was in.
-- -- --
Arriving at Siwon’s house fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the front door. Just as he was about to knock, he heard someone sobbing in there. Thinking it was Siwon he was about to walk away, not wanting to disturb whatever was happening in there; however, then he heard Siwon’s voice.
“Hyung, it’s okay. I’m sure Hankyung hyung had a reason for not telling you. Please don’t cry hyung.” Realizing that the one who was crying was Heechul, he left, not wanting to hear the reply. He wanted to go in, he really did, but he knew that it would be to no avail because Heechul was not someone that listens to reason. Leaving immediately, he went back into his car. He sat there for a while, contemplating all that has happened. He knew that Heechul would act this way if he ever found out, but then again, he had his reasons for not telling him.
Leaving Siwon’s house, he arrived home and fell down onto the couch, a massive headache beginning to form. Taking two aspirin, he decided to go to bed, hoping that maybe by then, Heechul would have calmed down. With a sigh, he felt sleep slowly overtake him.
-- -- --
He woke up a while later to the sound of his bedroom door opening. Seeing a tall skinny figure walk in, he realized that it was Heechul. However against his emotion and his heart, he pretended to keep sleeping; he didn’t want to deal with Heechul at that moment. He opened his eyes and tracked Heechul’s movement across the room. He saw him duck down under the bed and get out his suitcase. The one that Hangeng had brought for him the first time he had taken Heechul to China. Next, he saw Heechul go to the closet and take out some of the clothes he owned. He slowly realized that Heechul was leaving. Soon, he was done packing and Hangeng felt the side of the bed dip down as he saw his boyfriend sit down next to him.
“I know you are awake, Hankyung. Please, stop pretending.”
Hangeng was amazed that Heechul figured out he wasn’t sleeping anymore. He never knew Heechul could be so observant.
“I’m sorry. Will you please at least first think about it before you leave?”
“Hankyung, I have thought about it. I think we need to spend some time away from each other.”
Hankyung sighed and nodded his head in resignation.
“Fine, but where will you be staying?”
“I’m sorry but I can’t tell you in case you try and find me.”
As much as he wanted to cry, he held back the tears that were threatening to fall out. He didn’t want Heechul to leave, he wanted to make up to him right now, but he knew that was not to be the case. Whatever Heechul wants, he gets.
“No, no, I understand perfectly. But before you leave, I want to say again that I’m sorry and that I love you. So please take as much time as you need, I want you to be happy.”
A brief smile flashed across Heechul’s face but soon went away as Heechul walked out the door.
“Goodbye Hankyung.”
Not waiting for a reply, Heechul left in a much calmer fashion than he had done before. Hangeng sat back down as his tears slowly started to seep out from behind his closed eyelids. The brave front he had put on in front of Heechul dissolved as the seriousness of the situation finally sank in. He needed to talk to someone, preferably someone who knew of the situation, someone like Siwon.
-- -- --
He rang the doorbell again hoping Siwon would quickly answer the door as it was slowly becoming colder as day progressed into night. After a few more seconds, the door was opened, revealing Siwon clad in gym clothes.
“Ah, sorry Hankyung hyung, have you been standing there long? I was working out so I didn’t hear the doorbell until just now.”
“It’s fine, no worries. Have you heard anything from Heechul? Do you know if he is still angry at me?”
“Hyung, before we start talking about this, please come in.”
As Hangeng walked into Siwon’s house, he saw one of Heechul’s hair tie on the floor. Realizing it was Heechul’s most beloved one, he smiled briefly as he thought of how frantic Heechul most be at the moment. Picking it up and playing with it for a few moments, he put it in his pocket, hoping maybe he could find out where Heechul was staying and bring it to him.
“Please hyung, sit down. I’ll get us some tea.”
“No Siwon, its fine. Just, just tell me if he is still angry at me.”
“Hyung, to be honest, if I was him, I would be angry. He had to find out from an article that you were leaving. You didn’t tell him in person. He, out all people, deserved to know the most. Instead of telling me, the person you should have told was him.”
“Siwon, you know why I couldn’t.”
“I know hyung. That is why if it wasn’t for that, I would have told Heechul hyung the moment I found out.”
“And I sincerely thank you for that. Please could you tell me where Heechul is staying? I found his hair tie on the floor and want to bring it to him.”
“You know I can’t tell you that. Heechul specifically told me not to tell you where he is going. He is afraid-”
“I know, I know. It’s just that I was hoping I could talk to him while there, wherever there is.”
“Heechul hyung doesn’t want to hear it hyung.”
“I know, but, I have to try. I can’t just stay and not do anything. It hurts really bad to just wait for him to come back, I have to at least try to get him to listen to me. Even if it is the last time I ever talk to him, I have to explain to him why I did what I did.” Hangeng looked at Siwon intently, hoping to make him change his mind about telling him.
“Heechul hyung will kill me later once he finds out, but I guess you are right. He is staying with Kibum.”
Right as Siwon finished informing him, Hangeng stood up getting ready to leave.
“Thank you Siwon. I owe you one.”
“Just don’t screw things up more than they already are.”
Siwon didn’t know if Hangeng heard him at all as he was already halfway out the door.
With a destination in mind, he walked towards the car vowing not to leave until he had said all he needed to.
-- -- --
“Hey Kibum, are you free tonight? Do you want to go and watch a movie or something?” Heechul shouted across the room to his temporary roommate.
“Sorry hyung, I have to film a movie and then I’m meeting up with Donghae and Eunhyuk tonight. Apparently we are going to play video games and watch movies all night.”
Though Heechul nodded in understanding, he still muttered under his breath, “Hankyung would always drop his plans for me.”
Unfortunately, Kibum overheard and stomped over to where Heechul was sprawled on the floor.
“I’m fed up hyung, ever since you have arrived here, it has been Hankyung this, Hankyung that. If you want to be with him, just call him to come over.”
Unwilling to admit it, Heechul raised his head off the floor and replied with a shake of his head.
“Look hyung, even the shirt you’re wearing now is Hankyung’s. Take my advice and just call him. Maybe you two can sort out the issue. Anyways I have to go. I won’t be coming back tonight so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Ya, sure. See you tomorrow.”
Heechul closed his eyes and placed his headphones back onto his ears as he dropped his head onto the floor. With no one to talk to, he immersed himself into the music and quickly fell asleep.
-- -- --
“Ding”
Hangeng heard the doorbell ring inside as he stood patiently outside Kibum’s door. Nobody answered the door so he raised his hand to press the bell again. However, ringing the doorbell again brought about the same result as the first time so he instead, he turned the doorknob, hoping that maybe it was unlocked. To his surprise, it was.
Entering the pitch-black apartment, he wandered over to Kibum’s guest room. Hangeng knocked on the closed door and waited for a reply. The darkness loomed around him as if mimicking the emotion of the occupant behind the door. The door suddenly open’s and Hangeng sees Heechul face briefly before the door was slammed shut, almost hitting him in the face. He heard the lock click and sighed as he imagined Heechul returning to bed, a pillow clutched against his chest. Not caring about courtesy anymore, he walked towards the cabinet and took out a ring of keys. Having found the one that corresponded to the guest room, Hankyung hurried back towards said room and inserted the key into the lock. As he pushed open the door, he noticed that a sliver of light had creeped in from behind the curtained window and was shining directly on Heechul’s face. That was when he noticed the paths that Heechul’s tears had taken to fall from his eyes to the pillow currently underneath his head. Entering the room quickly, he immediately started to hurry to Heechul’s side; however, before he could take two steps, Heechul’s two cats, Heebum and Baengshin hissed at him.
“Take that as a warning and go away. Leave me alone,” Heechul suddenly said.
“Heechul, I can’t bear to see you hurt like this anymore.”
“Stop acting Hankyung, if you cared, you would have told me about your situation, not let me find out from news articles. Do you know how hurt I was? Not from the fact that your leaving, no, but from the fact that you didn’t even discuss it with me, you didn’t even tell me about it. Doesn’t our relationship mean anything to you? Did I ever mean anything to you, or was I just a worthless piece of garbage that you could throw away without any second thoughts?”
“It does, trust me, it really does, and I do love you. It’s just that I knew once my contract was terminated, SM wouldn’t let me visit you often. I thought that instead of going through the process of breaking up with you and having you all heartbroken, it would be better if, instead, you hated me. You weren’t supposed to find out until after I had left Korea. I thought that, since I didn’t tell you and just left, you would be so angry at me that you wouldn’t have the energy to miss me; I thought that this was the best way to deal with it. Plus, you mean the world to me Heechul; please don’t ever say that you are a worthless piece of garbage; I would never forget about you.”
By the time Hankyung was finished with his explanation, he was already sitting on the bed, and Heechul was sitting up with his hand almost touching Hankyung’s. He noticed that Heechul’s angry expression had softened somewhat. Laughing all of a sudden, Heechul opened his mouth and started speaking.
“You’re such a pabo, you suck at thinking, you should probably stop doing that.”
Chuckling slightly, Hankyung, glad that Heechul didn’t seem to be angry at him anymore, opened his mouth and started to protest.
“Hey, that’s not nice, it did make sense to me when I first thought about it. Siwon didn’t tell me that anything was wrong with the plan either,” Hankyung whined.
“Whatever, you still suck at thinking. Anyways, are you leaving immediately?”
“No, I’m still staying for a few days, but then I’m going back to China.”
The response that Hankyung got was Heechul pulling him into a great bear hug and the words “promise to never forget about me” murmured into his neck.
“I love you too much for that to ever happen, trust me.”
“I do.”