(no subject)
le dejeuner (2:47:28 PM): thank you for not blocking me online
ozfizkzonvi(2:47:28 PM) : you're welcome
ozfizkzonvi (2:47:28 PM): i'm realistic
le dejeuner (2:47:44 PM): so realitic as to remove me from your mysapce and facebook friends?
ozfizkzonvi (2:47:51 PM): if you need to talk to me you can but i can't be in a relationshiip with someone who sheats on me
ozfizkzonvi (2:48:11 PM): you're not my girlfreind anymore
le dejeuner (2:48:19 PM): if id considered it cheating i wouldnt have fuking done it
ozfizkzonvi (2:48:53 PM): bullshit
ozfizkzonvi (2:48:53 PM): i don't wanna talk about it
le dejeuner (2:49:10 PM): do you relais how difficult its been for me to keep a relationship while at college? technically a long distane one?
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:18 PM): yes i do
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:25 PM): like i said i don't wanna talk about it
le dejeuner (2:49:31 PM): if you did undertsand and were realtistic you wouldnt have removed me from your friends lists
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:34 PM): it's over, done
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:41 PM): you're not my girlfriend
le dejeuner (2:49:44 PM): i know its over, youve made that quite clear
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:47 PM): i'm not your boyfriend
le dejeuner (2:49:54 PM): i didnt say you were
ozfizkzonvi (2:49:56 PM): if it's a big deal
ozfizkzonvi (2:50:00 PM): i'll add you back
le dejeuner (2:50:03 PM): that doesnt mean we cant talk about this
le dejeuner (2:50:14 PM): youer just being fucking immature and not as relaistic as youthink
le dejeuner (2:50:36 PM): by removing me from myspace and facebook. does that not resonate "alex" through your head?
ozfizkzonvi (2:51:04 PM): i don't care about alex
le dejeuner (2:51:39 PM): hey if youve got some chicks in mind youd like to bang, go right ahad and try to make me upset about it. i beat you in numbers anyway and i know its just you getting back at me. i'm not fucking stupid
le dejeuner (2:51:53 PM): youre not going to be able to deal with it emotionally
ozfizkzonvi (2:51:53 PM): i'm not getting back at you
ozfizkzonvi (2:51:58 PM): i'm not trying to
ozfizkzonvi (2:52:01 PM): that's silly
le dejeuner (2:52:03 PM): oh it seems like you are
ozfizkzonvi (2:52:09 PM): i just broke up with you
le dejeuner (2:52:16 PM): "daivd is a manwhore who is open for anywthing"
le dejeuner (2:52:19 PM): come ON
ozfizkzonvi (2:52:33 PM): i'll explain it as simple as i can: you slept with someone else, i don't like that, i broke up with you
le dejeuner (2:52:34 PM): you jsut told me over the phone that you were going to bang as many chicks as you possibly could.
le dejeuner (2:52:53 PM): and let me remind you: you're being a douche IN SPITE OF ME
ozfizkzonvi (2:52:53 PM): you need to understand you've upset me
ozfizkzonvi (2:53:03 PM): and stop making a big deal of what i do
le dejeuner (2:53:04 PM): you need to understand my circumstances and how youve upset me
le dejeuner (2:53:09 PM): ....or havent done
ozfizkzonvi (2:53:26 PM): whatever
ozfizkzonvi (2:53:53 PM): i told myself next time you try to break up with me because of whatever reason or if you ever cheat on me i have to end it
ozfizkzonvi (2:53:57 PM): and you cheated on my
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:00 PM): me
le dejeuner (2:54:09 PM): sorry but when it comes to secrely wanting revenge because i shot down your ego, you really suck at it
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:12 PM): i told myself this after the last ordeal
le dejeuner (2:54:16 PM): no, i dont remember oyu ever saying that. you said you would do whatever it takes to make this work because you were completely in love with me and planned on spending the rest of your life with me.
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:27 PM): sorry but when it comes to secrely wanting revenge because i shot down your ego, you really suck at it
le dejeuner (2:54:29 PM): and i do recall stating with you that we were in an open relationship for a few weeks time, which i asked you about over and over againa nd you were clearly allright with. did i catch you at the wrong time? were you just trashed at midday again?
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:30 PM): that's silly
le dejeuner (2:54:42 PM): no, it's true and oyu know it babe
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:44 PM): you said we wouldn't sleep with other people
le dejeuner (2:54:49 PM): i didn't say that
le dejeuner (2:54:54 PM): i said i wasn't planning on it
ozfizkzonvi (2:54:55 PM): yes you did
le dejeuner (2:55:05 PM): i dind;t say i wouldn't. what the hell is an open relationship for anyway?
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:09 PM): you said you hoped i wouldn't do the same
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:18 PM): this is ridiculous
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:19 PM): i
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:23 PM): i'm over it
le dejeuner (2:55:27 PM): i know you are
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:28 PM): you have to get over it too
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:47 PM): i added you back on myspace
le dejeuner (2:55:50 PM): so whats the big deal about working things out instead of leaving them strained since we're obviously not getting abck to gether again?
ozfizkzonvi (2:55:51 PM): hope you're happy
le dejeuner (2:55:56 PM): dude seriously
ozfizkzonvi (2:56:00 PM): add me back on facebook i'll accept it
le dejeuner (2:56:04 PM): like, just talk to me i know youre pissed
ozfizkzonvi (2:56:05 PM): over?
ozfizkzonvi (2:56:17 PM): I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ozfizkzonvi (2:56:21 PM): you boned another dude
le dejeuner (2:56:22 PM): no, not over yet
le dejeuner (2:56:32 PM): yeah i did, in an open relationship
ozfizkzonvi (2:56:40 PM): i think you'd act a lot more upset than i am if i boned another girl
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:02 PM): even in an "open relationship"
le dejeuner (2:57:03 PM): actually, i was emotionally preparing myself for that shock if id gotten it and i really wasnt going to be upset by it
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:13 PM): good for you
le dejeuner (2:57:19 PM): to be quite honest with you, believe me or not its up to you
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:24 PM): it's over, done, finito
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:26 PM): don
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:30 PM): done done done
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:32 PM): kaput
le dejeuner (2:57:35 PM): youve made that clear and im not oppposing
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:39 PM): how else can i say it?
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:42 PM): so get over it
ozfizkzonvi (2:57:48 PM): on your own dime, i'm finished
le dejeuner (2:58:08 PM): i'm not asking for you back, i think i've transfered some of my delisionalism over to you
ozfizkzonvi (2:58:14 PM): i can't be in a relationship when the woman i was planning to marry fucks another guy
le dejeuner (2:58:45 PM): david im not trying t get you back, do i have to say it again?
le dejeuner (2:58:56 PM): i just see no problem with ending on not so strained terms
ozfizkzonvi (2:58:56 PM): i know you're not, but stop talking to me
ozfizkzonvi (2:59:19 PM): YOU FUCKED SOMEONE ELSE, IT'S GOING TO BE STRAINED
le dejeuner (2:59:23 PM): i think you ned to realize too that, when you do find the other girl you plan to marry, shes not going to be perfect either
le dejeuner (2:59:40 PM): she might be worse than i am and not love you as much as i did
ozfizkzonvi (2:59:43 PM): yeah, and you're a lot less perfect than i was willing to deal with
le dejeuner (2:59:47 PM): as much as i still do
ozfizkzonvi (2:59:51 PM): so there, it's over
le dejeuner (2:59:55 PM): so why didnt you break it off sooner?
ozfizkzonvi (3:00:03 PM): cause i accept your flaws
ozfizkzonvi (3:00:12 PM): i didn't include infidelity though
ozfizkzonvi (3:00:17 PM): cause that's a no no
le dejeuner (3:00:59 PM): accept that this is probably going to happen again and dont be shocked when it does because ive talke dot a hell of a lot of people today, including m mother who knows everything, and she said whatever you fucking made a mistake that david cant accept. fuck him
le dejeuner (3:01:11 PM): ozfizkzonvi (3:00:03 PM): cause i accept your flaws
ozfizkzonvi (3:00:12 PM): i didn't include infidelity though
ozfizkzonvi (3:00:17 PM): cause that's a no no
le dejeuner (3:01:14 PM): explain?
le dejeuner (3:01:21 PM): i dont get you here
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:00 PM): i don't care anymore
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:14 PM): you're added back on facebook and myspace
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:20 PM): but i don't want to talk to you
le dejeuner (3:02:24 PM): david chicks have already fucked you over and broken your heart before. its going to happen again. despise me as much as you want but i thought i made it clear that it was open for the time being and considering my circumstances as a college student who is never with you
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:29 PM): at lkeast for a very long time
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:49 PM): you're way too melodramtic
ozfizkzonvi (3:02:59 PM): take come clonipin and chill out
le dejeuner (3:03:06 PM): i know i think im going to take up acting to get it all out
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:06 PM): just let it end
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:16 PM): whatever
le dejeuner (3:03:19 PM): david IM NOT ASKING FOR YOU BACK
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:20 PM): do what you want
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:28 PM): i knoiw you're not
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:39 PM): but i wanna know why you're still talking to me
le dejeuner (3:03:43 PM): but i see no harm in speaking with you for a bit and striaghtening some thigns out now that we can be completely honest with each other since the strain of a relationship is over
ozfizkzonvi (3:03:55 PM): there's nothing to straighten out
le dejeuner (3:04:05 PM): oh dear i think there is
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:11 PM): hope school goes well
le dejeuner (3:04:16 PM): and that is for you to understand where i'm coming from and why i did what i did
le dejeuner (3:04:21 PM): and i'm going to tell you why
le dejeuner (3:04:27 PM): if you'll just hear me out
le dejeuner (3:04:36 PM): 10 4?
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:44 PM): i gotta go
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:47 PM): hope you do well
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:48 PM): bye
le dejeuner (3:04:50 PM): you WANT to go
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:54 PM): i have to go
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:56 PM): pete's here
ozfizkzonvi (3:04:58 PM): bye
le dejeuner (3:05:04 PM): i'm emialing you later
ozfizkzonvi (3:05:08 PM): whatever
le dejeuner (3:05:08 PM): i hope you read it
ozfizkzonvi (3:05:09 PM): sure
ozfizkzonvi (3:05:09 PM): bye
le dejeuner (3:05:13 PM): read it?
here's basically what david will read, explaining the motivation behind my manipulative actions:
as many of you already know, i had an immense crush on someone with whom i was in close living quarters. at school, lonely crystal, no david? crush? potential danger. crystal confesses crush to david back in mid november when it began, in fear of doing something she shouldn't. [see also: mypace occupation - temptress. see also: i consider my clit ring the belly button ring equivalent for the sexually obsessed.] by confessing the crush, david's mere remark of "...oh" was enough to scare me into consciously and subsonsciously removing the attraction.
but that kind of shit doesnt last forever, especially when crush is still in close vicinity and happens to live on the same floor as all of your friends at school. and happens to hit on you ocnstantly. and happens to start hanging out with you once you're no longer a resident in his building. (RA-style. oops. wait, um HOT. zelda, do i sense a conquest? yes! alas: crystal + sexual conquest danginling in front of her eyes = attraction PLUS. reaction yield? DANGERD00M.)
okay so the first night i got with him i was very hesitant about doing certian things because of daivd; i wanted to clear thigns up with him before i cntinued. being the honry little cunt that i am, i followed trough with everything anyway. whatever. the next day i speak with david nd request that we keep our relationship OPEN for the time being, in hopes that i could secretly fuck my friends' bangin RA whom i've wanted in bed since mid novemeber an basically get it out of my system so there will be no more sexual tension or temptation and i could continue my relationship with david. right? eh. no.
anyway things ended up not working out (lol fucking LAST NIGHT) with RA and myself for reasons of their own, half having to do with his guilt of my relationship and how potentially damaging our affair (MMMMMMM) could be which he was completely right about, and the fact that his job is like totally in jeopardy cause he told his RA buddies. word gets out. scandalous. ehh. i didnt undertsand why h couldnt do this at first, but now i get it because of his involvemen with my ex-suitemate issues:
it's like a lawyer and a c lient going to court, client spilling her guts out to lawyer because she is comfotable with doing so given the professionalism of the meeting, and then lawyer wins the case. after the fact, lawyer sleeps with client. i undertsand RAs hesitation after the first hookups.
..although he did say i was adorable after i left his suite last night. "you're adorable." like he used to say after we boned or like, anything else pretty much. he alo said that sexual commitment is soething that;'s not just arbitrary for him, which i now cmpletely understand why we couldn't keep going with it. especially because i was still with david. especiall because i was still in love iwth david.
anyway, whatever happens, happens. with both david and RA dudeman. if RA still wants to jsut uddle and watch lost marathons when he has the time, fine with me. really. i was upset at letting go at first but now i don't mind because i have a bigger issue to get over: david. YOU ALL KNOW quite well that once i'm done, i'm fukcing done and i don't go back to people. that may mean RA as well, which is why i'd love to just chill with him every now and then and cuddle if he wants to. i'm totally cool with whatever especially since i need friends right now or a new boy to play with, and that doesn't include RA.
things will work out fr the better. they always do.