Dreaming again
I have had such difficulty remembering my dreams when I wake up. I think this one stayed with me because in the very next dream I was telling someone the whole story (2 girls who were hijacking a car with me - we had to pee in the change cup in the front seat ...? I'll never understand the pee dreams.)
The dream
I was at a conference in NZ (?) with a bunch of other people from Hawaii. During a break I sat down at a table and a beautiful man came and sat across from me. He had auburn hair and the most stunning long, golden eyelashes. I knew who he was (well-known guy with strange name). He asked me my name; I circled it on the program, "Sounds just as it is spelled". I asked him how to correctly pronounce his name (Dutch? Maori? - lots of consonants & syllables). He demurred, said, 'just call me ___'. I laughed and said something about Obama would make sure he pronounced it correctly. We laughed and talked about Obama (I resisted saying anything about Hawaii and 6 degrees from Obama - even though I wanted him to know all about me.) I talked about the research he was known for (related to futures); I excitedly asked if he knew Dator ('he was my mentor' - I couldn't help blurting out). We talked about our research and the conference. I said something about traveling with a crowd, but since I was single, I got to have the room alone. "You are single?" he asked (excitedly?) I grinned. We moved to a large sofa where we sat facing each other talking and talking. My mind was spinning - how could I keep this going?!
I needed to go back to my lab before the next session, so left, knowing I would be seeing him again soon. Back at my lab I was so happy - then I saw everyone was snickering and even laughing out loud. When I asked Chris, she almost yelled at me - "Matt has a crush on you. Didn't you know Matt loves you?!" Much giggling. Matt is a cute kid; I would never have guessed. Chris tells of how she lectured him, "Do you want to just be another broken family?!" (I wondered ... is that how they all see me?) There was something else they said (and chanted) that was hilarious. (That part of my dream was irretrievable - why did I hide this joke from myself??). Then Matt showed up. I felt such warmth for him. He took my response well. I doubt he was a serious as they all thought.
Later, the man was sitting at a desk near me when I was talking to a young student about architecture (the man was an architect?) I said that architects, like futurists, provoke change - they tap into internal values/dreams/beliefs that are then transformed into material manifestations. He looked up at me & smiled. We shared another moment.
I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror. "How could anyone like me" ... I stopped myself. I wanted to just enjoy it. I wanted to talk like this forever. That is when I left with the two girls - we needed to get back to somewhere else, so just took a car nearby.
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When I woke, the phrase "catch and release" popped up. The excitement of the catch - the humane liberation of the fish. But ... my rational mind poked in ... is it really so humane? Those released fish, biologists have determined, actually suffer. They live shorter, painful lives ... damaged and battered by the experience.