the hot tub is empty and the trampoline is broken. nothing is wrong with the balcony, as far as I can tell. hopefully by the end of August, it'll all be fixed and working and all that
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back in school they never taught us what we needed to know, like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart. for twelve years, I've held it all together but a night like this is begging to pull me apart. I kept quiet, left you deep in conversation. I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen. I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would, but now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could. everyone's caught on to everything you do. as if this happening wasn't enough, I've got to go and write a song just to remind myself how bad it sucked. ignore the sun, the covers over my head. I wrote a message on my pillow that says "PARKER STAY ASLEEP IN BED." so don't apologize. I hope you choke and die. search your cell for something with which to hang yourself. they say you need to pray if you want to go to heaven but then they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell. everyone's caught on to everything you do. and I can't let you let me down again. so is that what you
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and I was home and online for at least two and a half hours, last night. where were you?
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