Staccato Legacy 3.5
So I thiiiiink I’ve finally decided on a teaser pic format I like.
This is a huge breakthrough for me- possibly the most indecisive person in the world.
And it only took ‘til halfway through generation 3! (Y)
Harhar but seriously I won’t change it again I SWEAR. don't hold me to that
Last time we left off, the family had embarked upon a trip to France.
On arriving, everyone immediately rolled the wish to visit the nectary so that’s exactly where I sent them, the damn drunkards.
Rue: Okay, grapes. Prepare yourselves for some serious squishing.
Rue: Totally meant to do that.
While Rue was actually doing something productive (even if failing horribly at it), the rest of the family sat around drinking everything they could get their hands on.
Which wasn’t the best idea for certain members of the family who shall remain nameless.
Completely…
…and totally…
…nameless.
Piper: Talk about lightweights, huh Hunter?
Hunter: *slurp*
Rhapsody: Urghhh. Feel terrible. Surely this twelfth alcoholic beverage will settle my stomach…
Beds are clearly just too good for some people.
Rue: What an awful night’s sleep! It’s almost as if you’re not supposed to sleep on the cold ceramic kitchen tiles.
Day two started off with some incognito ball throwing amongst the foliage.
And some ‘quality time’ for Rue and Hunter, who enjoys roleplaying balding men during sexytiems.
Ooooh France is so prettiful :)
The second day also saw the commencement of tomb raiding with Caly and Rue.
Or it would have if Rue would get her arse down there…
TOMB RAIDING WITH CALY AND RUE.
All to find a stupid baseball some guy had dropped down a hole. careless
Ask yourself if that was worth risking your life for?
Rue: Definitely. Look how shiny!
The last day began with Aria doing a spot of early morning fishing.
Later, everyone gathered to attempt to conquer the Chateau Landgrabb.
Piper: I feel queasy.
Excellent start.
Hunter: ARGHHGHGHJHKJHSDFHSDFS
Piper: Wow, that looks painful. I sure am glad your body’s serving as a shield against the electricity.
Hunter: ARTHGRJ YOU’RE FDJKFDJBFDVBDF WELCOME! DHFDSFSDHF
Hunter: Disarm the trap? What do you mean, disarm the trap?? I’m in no fit state to do anything of the sort!
Piper: Don’t worry. I got this.
Yeah, coz it really looks like you have.
Meanwhile, Aria shows off her mad ninja skills and neatly backflips an electricity trap.
Show ‘em how it’s done bby.
And I will end this section of the update with this lovely picture of Rue riding back to base camp.
Back at la casa, Hunter marched straight up to Aria and, well… slapped her right in the face.
Hunter: And that’s for doing that thing the other day that I won’t mention right now. You know what I’m talking about.
Aria: I really really don’t.
Hunter: Don’t play the fool with me, missy.
Aria: You’d better prepare yourself for a WORLD OF PAIN. You won’t know how and you won’t know when, but one of these days… I will end you.
Hunter: Well that doesn’t sound fun at ALL.
Aria: Riley! I can’t deal with you right now! Maybe you didn’t notice but my dad just slapped the shit out of me. So, yeah, if you could get the hell away from me that’d be fantastic.
Riley: Bitch got some attitude.
Aria: FUCKING DISHWASHER. SHUT THE HELL UP.
Riley: ARGHHH TOO MUCH NOISE.
Well you two are just a delight, aren’t you?
I really have no idea where Aria gets it from. None of her traits should cause her to be grumpy and yet she is… pretty much all the time.
Bellaboosh: *BIRFDOOOOOOOO*
Translation: *IT’S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY*
Oh wow. You look simply marvellous. *snort*
I think introductions are in order. This is Aria’s best friend Jeremiah Plemmons. Best name ever y/y? and trust me he looks a LOT better without that stupid hair -__-
Aria: I’m glad you’re here. Today has been crap with a capital C. First I have a fight with my dad and then my imaginary friend won’t stop following me everywhere! It’s been a nightmare, let me tell you.
Jeremiah: Yeah… those imaginary friends are a bitch, huh? Just a thought, but couldn’t you just… er… stop imagining her?
Aria: Stop… imagining her? That’s a BRILLIANT idea!
Aria: You never told me you were a genius!
Jeremiah: Well, yeah, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet or anything…
Aria: And you play the trumpet too! You’re so talented!
Jeremiah: …sure.
Jeremiah: It’s a really clear night out. You want to go and look at the stars?
Aria: Hey this is a great idea. We can figure out a plot to get back at my dad and he’ll never hear us out here!
Jeremiah: Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of stargazing. Look, you can see the Ursa Major right there… (no idea whatsoever if that’s an actual thing… my knowledge of constellations is sadly lacking)
Aria: Oh yeah, woah cool.
Jeremiah: Do you wanna know a secret?
Aria: Shoot.
Jeremiah: None of those stars up there are as pretty as you are.
Aria: Awhh, you’re sweet. Horribly cheesy, but sweet.
Jeremiah: *I’m totally in here*
Just because.
Aria: So, I guess we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now?
Jeremiah: I hadn’t really thought about it, but sure!
Aria: Right answer.
Calypso: Should I let them know I’m here, or…?
Aria: Oh gods, this feels so good. SO GOOD. SO EFFIN’ GOOD.
Calypso: Yeah, yeah. You have a boyfriend and I don’t. Noted.
Later that night…
Aria: Oh, hi there. Are you here to see my dad?
Burglar: ‘Sup. And… sure.
Hunter: Calling the police now, just thought you should know.
Burglar: The police… pshhhhh. The police can’t do jack.
True more often than not in this game
Hunter: This is so not cool, by the way. What about the thieves’ code of honour? I’m sure I’ve heard of something like that…
Burglar: No dude, it’s ‘there’s NO honour among thieves’.
Hunter: Oh. Well there should be.
Bellaboosh: *IS JUDGING YOU*
Meanwhile, Rue sensed a disturbance in the force living room from all the way in her bedroom and did what anyone else would do. i.e. fainted three times in a row.
Policeman: Lol a burglar.
Hunter: Good spot.
Policeman: Man, I NEVER get sent out on this type of job! Something to tell the wife when I get home!
Inappropriate reaction is inappropriate.
Policeman: STAY DOWN.
Hunter: We sure as hell showed him.
Hunter: So I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow?
Burglar: Probably not seeing as I’m being ARRESTED.
Hunter: Oh right. That’s awkward.
Five minutes later…
Hunter: Look, I’m not happy about this, but if my mum- I mean the BOSS- hears that I let a colleague go to prison then I’ll never hear the end of it.
Burglar: Much appreciated.
Turns out Rue’s friends with the policeman. Figures. She’s friends with practically everyone in town nowadays.
Policeman: It was so invigorating, Rue! You should’ve seen me. I was awesome.
Rue: Sounds great! Of course, I was passed out for the whole ordeal... but you must be so proud of yourself!
Policeman: Yes I was, until your goon of a husband released the prisoner! All my hard work, GONE! Just like that!
Rue: Hey now, calm down. I’m sure he had a reason for doing so. Maybe something to do with thieves’ honour…?
Policeman: No! There’s no honour among thieves, Rue. It’s surprising more people don’t know about that.
Policeman: This is UNBELIEVABLE!
Rue: Stupid guy acting all high and mighty. I really shouldn’t have let him speak to me like that…
Yeah, it’s been an hour since he left. Time to move on with our lives I think.
Rhapsody: Piper. Just the person I wanted to talk to. I’m currently having a mood swing and feel a sudden urge to beat someone up. Unfortunately, you’re the first person I’ve run into this morning…
Piper: Woah woah, just wait a minute-
Rhapsody: *ANGRY HUGGGG!!!!!*
Hunter: ‘Atta girl! Show him who’s boss!
Aren’t vampires meant to have supernatural strength or something?
Piper: Maybe I’m just having an off day. Stop drawing attention to it.
Hunter: Okay. I’ve had time to reflect and as a parent, I think I’m supposed to be ANGRY about this. So, I AM VERY ANGRY. GO TO YOUR ROOM… OR SOMETHING.
Piper: I kinda really hate you now, just so you know.
Piper: And your shoes. Your shoes are ugly.
Rhapsody: Piper, you’re wearing bunny slippers for christ’s sake.
Piper: So what? They keep my feet warm.
A notification for a free vacation popped up so the adults all both headed out of town.
Which unfortunately interrupted Rue getting fingerprint dust all up in this lady’s salad.
Hold on a darn minute. I’m pretty sure she’s not dead, she’s just left town for a bit. Talk about jumping to conclusions.
Not good.
NOT GOOD AT ALL.
Aria: Hi. Who the hell are you and how the hell did you get in here?
Mrs.Bitchface: Never you mind who I am. You, young lady, have not been caring for your pets! It makes me wonder why you got them in the first place when you very clearly don’t like them!
Aria: That’s not even a little bit true! Look at my top! IT HAS A PUPPY ON IT. I LOVE PUPPIES.
Mrs.Bitchface: YOUR MEASLY AMOUNT OF LOVE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
Aria: Oh, you’d better prepare yourself for a world of pain.
Mrs.Bitchface: Girl, I’d like to see you try.
Nooo Puddy!! You've barely even LIVED!
BELLABOOSH!!!! Bellaboosh: :’(
I’m genuinely sad right now.
How dare Mrs.Bitchface say you weren’t looked after properly.
THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT, GAME.
FEEL MY RAGE.
Rhapsody: This is totally your fault. I bet you didn’t walk the dog when mum asked you to.
Piper: I may have forgotten once… or twice. But that’s beside the point!
Rhapsody: It’s not beside the point, it’s entirely relevant to the point!
Piper: Maybe so, but I never had a bond with that dog. She knocked me down when I was a toddler for crying out loud!
Rhapsody: Well now my cat’s gone as well because of a stupid incident that happened a billion years ago. She barely even hurt you!
Piper: Speak for yourself. The floor felt pretty hard when I smacked into it WITH MY HEAD.
Rhapsody: What are we gonna tell mum? She loved that dog.
Piper: I don’t even want to think about it. Let’s just keep quiet and maybe she won’t notice.
Rhapsody: Hmmm… that could work.
Aria: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.
Piper: We know. The pets are gone.
Aria: NO I MEAN THE TV. YOU GUYS ARE WATCHING IT SO I CAN’T WORK OUT. IT’S SO UNFAIRRRR.
Rhapsody: Do you think she’ll ever find a husband?
Piper: Probably not, no.
Aria: Screw you guys, I’ve just devised the perfect plan to get back at dad.
Aria: The location- his ensuite bathroom…
Aria: The crime- hair dye in the shampoo bottle…
Be warned guys… that’s what you get for fucking with Aria Staccato.
Calypso: Why are we even going to school today? The adults are gone, we should stay home!
Piper: Because, naïve sister of mine, we can’t arouse suspicion. We must act as normal as possible at all times. *SNEAK SNEAK*
Calypso: You are honestly the most embarrassing person I know.
Aria: This is bullshit. I don’t get why the bus can’t just park right outside the house…
Aria: I mean, I’ve gotta walk all that way and it’s just ridiculous. I’m completely worn out before I even get into school.
Piper: How ironic that we two who have declared each other nemeses should end up next to each other.
Rhapsody: Will you just shut up.
Aria: Ahh field trip day! It makes my heart sing with a thousand joyous melodies!
O_o
Aria: This is bullshit. Why’d I end up next to the teacher?
That’s better. For a second I thought you were actually going to be HAPPY, god forbid.
Let me just point out that the school is the big red building in the background.
The location of the field trip is where they are now.
They took the bus to go about 50 strides down the street.
Their teacher (who is also their first cousin once removed FUN FACT) obviously hasn’t learned how to dress himself properly.
Unless the field trip is to a waist high pool of water, in which case he’s dressed perfectly.
I BOUGHT THEM A WATER SLIDE.
Because everyone knows that in my legacy teen parties always have to have some sort of water element. /that is actually a joke and not some strange rule I’ve made up which is what it sounded like when I read it back ok shutting up now…
This isn’t quite on the same level as the Pac-Man pool, but it’ll do.
Anyway, literally as soon as everyone had walked in the house, the game decided to inform me the police were on their way...
Aria: Hello? Mrs Harrison… why are you yelling? We’re not making that much noise!... You live all the way across town, Mrs Harrison, how can you even hear us??
Aria: Alright you old hag, if you don’t drop it right now I’ll- you’ve called the police you say? Right-o, thanks for the warning! Please don’t mention the hag thing! Byeeee!
Aria: Hey, Jeremiah. Some bitch has called the police on us, so can we talk real quick?
Randomer: NO. I WAS DANCING WITH THIS BOY THEREFORE HE IS MINE FOR KEEPS AND NO-ONE MAY TALK TO HIM EVER.
Aria: Right… no, that’s not the rules.
Aria: So, um… prom’s in a couple of days. We’re going together, right?
Jeremiah: Of course! Would I dream of going with anyone else?
Aria: I sincerely hope not.
Randomer: BUT WE DANCED TOGETHER. I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. BAWWWWW.
Aria: Well that’s a bit awkward.
Calypso: HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS. I CAN HEAR THE SIRENS. GET THE FUCK OUT IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIVES.
Calypso: That should just about do it.
Rhapsody: ARIA. Stop dancing for christ’s sake. What d’you think the police will think when they come in here and see that??
Aria: … That I’m a natural talent who can bust some damn fine moves?
Rhapsody: …
Calypso: Rhap’s right. We just need to all act natural. ACT. NATURAL.
Piper: Got’cha. Natural’s my middle name. *SNEAK SNEAK*
Rhapsody: We’re soooo busted.
Policeman: Well well, if it isn’t the family who released the burglar. I should’ve known you were all trouble makers. Hooliganism runs in families, you know.
Piper: I really don’t know what you’re referring to, Officer. My sisters and I were simply enjoying a quiet evening together. There’s really nothing going on here.
Aria: Nothing going on.
Rhapsody: Nothing at all.
Policeman: Hmm… how do you explain the giant pizza on the counter, then? Surely four people couldn’t possibly eat that much pizza. Suspicious, no?
Piper: I must admit that my sisters and I had a hankering for pizza and so perhaps ordered a tad too much. But who can honestly say they don’t enjoy a good slice of pizza?
Aria: I like pizza.
Rhapsody: Pizza is good.
Policeman: Well, okay then. You seem like an honest lad and we’re all innocent until proven guilty I guess. Have a nice evening and I apologise for the intrusion.
Calypso: Oh hi Jenny. I think you might’ve left your purse here. You know, when you left in a rush after we broke the party up?
Policeman: What did she say?
Piper: Don’t listen to her. She’s… crazy.
Policeman: Oh, I see. Well g’night then!
Piper: Totally owned it.
Both: MMMMMM PIZZA.
NEXT TIME. I can actually tell you because I’ve played ahead for once!
BIRTHDAYS!
PROM!
And Piper finally meets his real father. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.
Thaaaaanks for reading! <3