your hands they move like waves over me
i must say it...this weekend there was a point where i just had to yell out loud "my goodness gracious, i LOVE my friends"...no..my friends are the most amazing people in the world...from belly laughs, and funeral processions at 3 45 in the morning, there is absolutely no one that can/will/are able to do to me what they do...i love you guys SO much...listen to this shit..we each made a list of how many guys we hooked up with (hooking up = more than just making out with) and then put stars but the ones we had sex with, circles around the ones we gave head to and V's by the ones that returned the deeed....i honestly, hands up in truth had NO idea I was such a slut...it's almost upsetting to me...i've hooked up with more guys AND girls than they did...wow...but that's completely besides the point..I'm obsessed with my women...i love you..
saturday morning (well it was afternoon though it seemed like morning cause i had woken up at 1) i ordered 900 pictures off of my Yahoo account...you'd think it was cheap...nope...i'm in debt...i'm gonna need to prostitute myself on college ave to make up the difference for rent..
friday night i played a 3 hour game of monopoly...i did not win...meteo-steve did...i got 4th place..(3rd to last)
tomorrow night at this time i'll be watching the season premier of Six Feet Under!! HOL-LER!
driving through the mountains of pennsylvania at dusk is magnificent
so okay...i'm over you (him)..it's almost like when i talk about you (him) i sound angry...what we had was fun...totallyyy fun...but it's done...it sucks that i'm gonna really have to do it this time...it's hard when the intimacy is great..and the cuddling..but seriously...give me some support and say "stace, you need to do this.." honestly? when i think about us together, it just DOES NOT work.. i worry that i'll never be able to find someone that i can stand for longer than a few months...*shudder* he grosses me out right now..
but then i think about someone from my past...and as much as i can't say what we had was real ...being as we had no trust, no honesty, no...you name it and we didn't have it (besides lots of sex), i was head over heels...and if i can have that feeling again, hopefully this time it being reciprocated, then i'm fine...what was that though? i constantly ask myself that...love? infatuation? chase? oh well..lets not analyze...parts of it were definitely good. i'd like the trust from the former and the craziness from the latter...then i be happy :0)
i'm in the midst of planning my trip to london...it's not definite...it resides on the hotel's availability...wow..if it works out...holy smokes...i will jump to the sky with love...i'm going to meet up with my cayman lover while i'm there...talk about amazing----riight...but we'll see..my plan is to travel out there by myself..spend the days in the museums soaking up art and history, taking boat rides eating fish 'n chips, and meeting up with some camp friends who live in london..i'll spend my evenings at the bars, clubs and hopefully find some good concerts...rendezvous with my loverrrr and take him back to my pad...*whistles*....it's fixin to be an amazing time...only to come back and start fall semester...
i tried cold turkey to quit...how i wish to be independent of you...for an independent girl to be so dependent on something is like putting a horse in a dog's cage..realization: okay...i need it...accept it...it's okay to need something that will make you a better person...otherwise i'm gonna end up somewhere i refuse to be again...tell me..."stace, it's okay to need something."
i'm such a junkie! woooooow! i love feeling good...i lovvveeeeeeeeeee l i f e ....i loveeee cookie dough! ..and watermelon! ..but NOT together
i made a list of things i want to do before i die (or hopefully before next year at this time)...i don't feel like putting it in this entry...maybe the next one :-)
happy birthday to evan goldberg!!! it was somuch fun chillin with you while i was home last weekend!
i'm thinking about getting a tattooo..a rainbow...in rememberance...cause if i ever go a day without thinking about you, i'd never forgive myself..scratch that...i would never WANT to go a day without thinking about you...i am the person i am today because of who and what you were...if i do good in this world, it's because of you...i feel bad for so many of the people in this world who did not get the chance to know this *beautiful* person. but those of you who did...feel blessed.
on that note...i love that i am running on NOOOOO sleep..i love that i have to wake up for class tomorrow...i love that i'm gonna get my ass kicked by mike at the gym tomorrow...i looove that somehow i burnt my tongue!?! okay...wow...k...bye!
l o v e t h e w o r l d
i found something i was drawing one night stoned and i had written "A Tree is A Woman's Best Friend" ....I stand by that...go hug a tree..and mean it dammit!
james loves me like a poptart loves frosting! and i love him like my belly loves pop tarts! HA! now what buddy?