you give me hope for this world/.../that there's still someone who's real
So two thirds inspired me.
and if you wanna know the real me, breath me in deep. keep your hands to yourself, your eyes from wandering, and leave your lips to
I had one of the most stomach-turning nights in a while. And Ive got no right. On the way home, this car hears my confessions...
#1: Im not as innocent as I wish I was, and I hate the things Ive done sometimes. And the worst part is, I hate everything Ive done that wasnt done with him. At least at the moment I do, but Ive felt that way in the past too. I hated hearing him talk about her strictly because the things he once said about me is what I want to hear. I used to talk about how easily it would be to play me, and he had it right on...
#2: Got some... Friday. And its the most disheartening thing, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate when I do this, and its only with one person and I hate myself for it. And the worst part is, we use each other. The only reason I wanted to hang out was because I was disappointed in the night. I would have never even thought of talking to him if I hadnt been hurt. If I didnt realize deep down, he didnt feel that way about me.
#3: I hate how you look me in my eyes and hold contact for a moment. Whats the point? If youre trying to make me feel better, I dont need it. I dont want you to appease me, I just wanna feel... the way you could make me.
#4: Im so scared of this weekend, Im so scared of getting attached to something just because I need comfort. Im scared of what I might do or not do. Im scared of being pathetic.
All my high school, Ive held onto something, praying that when I fall, it'll be my saving grace. And its gone. Im starting to trip, to fall, and its gone, I can see that its missing, and I can feel that theres no return in sight. So to those who pulled my saving grace right out from under me, I have one thing to say: "Congratulations." So I scramble desperately to make sense, to catch myself before I go tumbling down... And in this overrated metaphor, Im still spiraling my way face-first to the bottom.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
I love being at Austin's, I told him that tonight, in our little heart to heart. I absolutely love being there. And as things change, each and every time I get nervous but it all pans out and that apartment has something that provides a different, but amazing, kind of comfort for each one of us.
#5: Im so bitter about sex. So so so bitter. And it needs to go away because it dictates too much of my life.
Tonight was okay. I feel better now... two and a half hours later. Im thankful for everything recently. And Im thankful for my friendships. With Chris as well, and that needs to settle out. Which it is. I love the people in my life, and I cannot get enough of them. I just need to feel that way about who Ive come to be. I think things will be better after this weekend, and then even better when I know about college.
I heart you. More than you know, and you will always offer me a comfort that you will probably never understand. I cannot wait to kiss you again, I hope Im not left waiting forever.
I should not be surprised.
I should have seen it sooner.
and if you wanna know the real me, breath me in deep. keep your hands to yourself, your eyes from wandering, and leave your lips to
I had one of the most stomach-turning nights in a while. And Ive got no right. On the way home, this car hears my confessions...
#1: Im not as innocent as I wish I was, and I hate the things Ive done sometimes. And the worst part is, I hate everything Ive done that wasnt done with him. At least at the moment I do, but Ive felt that way in the past too. I hated hearing him talk about her strictly because the things he once said about me is what I want to hear. I used to talk about how easily it would be to play me, and he had it right on...
#2: Got some... Friday. And its the most disheartening thing, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate when I do this, and its only with one person and I hate myself for it. And the worst part is, we use each other. The only reason I wanted to hang out was because I was disappointed in the night. I would have never even thought of talking to him if I hadnt been hurt. If I didnt realize deep down, he didnt feel that way about me.
#3: I hate how you look me in my eyes and hold contact for a moment. Whats the point? If youre trying to make me feel better, I dont need it. I dont want you to appease me, I just wanna feel... the way you could make me.
#4: Im so scared of this weekend, Im so scared of getting attached to something just because I need comfort. Im scared of what I might do or not do. Im scared of being pathetic.
All my high school, Ive held onto something, praying that when I fall, it'll be my saving grace. And its gone. Im starting to trip, to fall, and its gone, I can see that its missing, and I can feel that theres no return in sight. So to those who pulled my saving grace right out from under me, I have one thing to say: "Congratulations." So I scramble desperately to make sense, to catch myself before I go tumbling down... And in this overrated metaphor, Im still spiraling my way face-first to the bottom.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
I love being at Austin's, I told him that tonight, in our little heart to heart. I absolutely love being there. And as things change, each and every time I get nervous but it all pans out and that apartment has something that provides a different, but amazing, kind of comfort for each one of us.
#5: Im so bitter about sex. So so so bitter. And it needs to go away because it dictates too much of my life.
Tonight was okay. I feel better now... two and a half hours later. Im thankful for everything recently. And Im thankful for my friendships. With Chris as well, and that needs to settle out. Which it is. I love the people in my life, and I cannot get enough of them. I just need to feel that way about who Ive come to be. I think things will be better after this weekend, and then even better when I know about college.
I heart you. More than you know, and you will always offer me a comfort that you will probably never understand. I cannot wait to kiss you again, I hope Im not left waiting forever.
I should not be surprised.
I should have seen it sooner.