extreme, extremely, extremeliness?
Links to three applications you’ve voted for
1) uno
2) due
3) tre
Basics
¤ 1) Name Elle
¤ 2) Age 22
¤ 3) Country United States of America
Personality
¤ 4) From a first impression, what kind of person do you appear to be? I would say distant, but not terribly intimidating, though I think just about everyone I went to school with - and even my own mother - would argue otherwise. My actual level of approachability varies greatly depending on how well/poorly my day has been going, but working in customer service for so long has taught me how to fake a smile through damn near anything. Still, I am a very much an open book, and one can easily tell exactly what sort of a day I have been having by looking at my face. Overall, a lot more friendly and amiable and welcoming than I actually am.
¤ 5) How does that differ from the person you are? I am generally very irritable, and tend to complain about everyone and thing (e.g., I am apt to shout at the television, advertisements, just about anything I feel isn't up to snuff). I really am very distant with people, though. That part is never an act. The act comes from wearing the smile instead of the scowl that really keeps people at bay.
¤ 6) What kind of person do you want to become, then? If it were at all possible, I'd want to become someone admirable.
¤ 7) What, or who, is your inspiration in life? Honestly? My best friend. She is the only person who motivates me to even try becoming a better person. She's the only reason I haven't quite given up on a lot of things, yet, when all else has really been pushing me to quit. Without her, I really just sort of float by, not paying much attention to things. ...This sounds really ridiculous when I try to put it into words, I guess. XD; But, at least up until I met her, there really wasn't anything I could even pretend to identify as something to keep me going, to encourage me to keep improving. Life was just a wait, and now it's actually fun.
¤ 8) What are your major strong points? I am told that I am more eloquent than most. I also pick up on foreign languages very quickly and easily. I am not afraid to say what needs to be said when it needs saying, even if I am sometimes a little too blunt. I have a solid sense of humor. I try not to take life too seriously (that does not always work, which can have quite devastating results). I am quite tenacious, and I think I am a solid leader, though I prefer following - I am better suited at managing small groups than large ones, and even then I only work well with a concrete goal that I generally fail at producing for myself. I am also very stubborn, better with money than I give myself credit for, generally modest (except about my awesome skills at Jeopardy! and Scrabble), and very, very loyal. I am good at sizing up situations fairly rapidly, knowing when it is okay for me to lose my temper (which I seriously need to work on not having at all...) and when I need to keep quiet, as well as when I should interfere and when I should hang back (it is generally very difficult for me to hang back when it comes to the people I love). I sympathize really well and I am very good at listening, which thankfully my few friends find very comforting.
¤ 9) What are your major weak points? I have been belligerent pretty much since birth. I am more of a coward than I like to let on or want to be. I cry too easily. My stubbornness easily shifts into bull-headedness, which is not terribly conducive to teamwork. I can also be really argumentative, and if I get upset enough, I will shut down entirely for hours. Occasionally, if one person in particular is on the receiving end, I've been known to shut them out for months until I get an apology for something they didn't even realize bothered me enough to make me react that way. I do not (partly because of that) make friends very easily or very often; it stems from the fear of doing that to people. Alternately, I fear being genial because I have a tendency to frighten people off. I have an immense guilt complex. I can have an extremely and perhaps obnoxiously one-track mind, causing nearly everything I say and do to somehow revert back to or revolve around whatever it is that I happen to be fixated on at that time (this also means I generally do not ever know when to shut up). I can sometimes have little patience for things, which is a bit juxtaposed beside my determination to complete things. It usually results in more than a little swearing, some time to huff off and calm down, then resuming the project only to repeat that pattern a few more times before finally succeeding. Occasionally, I will end up so frustrated and defeated that I will in fact abandon things entirely. I then feel really guilty about it for the rest of pretty much forever. For all that I can sympathize, it is another thing entirely when I try to empathize; that is something I am not terribly good at, mostly because, as much as I hate it, I can be really self-centered and selfish sometimes. I would chalk it up to coming from a large family, but I don't really believe in making excuses. I am what I am because it is simply what I am.
¤ 10) What makes you (^__^) =D? My best friend! 8D Completing things I've worked hard on (puzzles, collections, et cetera). Reading a good book. Wikipedia surfing. Actually managing to happily surprise someone without blowing it. Video games, but in particular, the three video games in the Mother series.
¤ 11) What makes you (¤>__<) >:(? Money. Idiocy (the ignorant kind, not the silly kind). Liars. Mostly my parents (still, oi). Being embarrassed. How transparent I am. The three video games in the Mother series.
¤ 12) What makes you (;__;) ;(? The global crises going on right now. Liars. The fact that I am not really in the magical mafia that exists only in Reborn! (and/or Hogwarts while we're at it). The fact that not only is that sentiment totally true, but that I just put it in this questionnaire. Being second. The three video games in the Mother series.
¤ 13) What is your general mood? Irritated.
Thoughts
¤ 14) Do you think taking a humans life can be justified? I think the motives behind the murder can be logically explained (e.g., self-defense/self-preservation/Battle Royale), but I do not think it is ever justified.
¤ 15) What do you think of Love? I find it to be too multi-faceted. It gives me a headache. I like things that are straight-forward and tangible and this is neither of those things. I'm not saying I don't believe in it, but it all makes me uncomfortable. I was not always this way.
¤ 16) How do you view your life? I feel like, for right now at least, it is more or less paused. I am not all that content with the way things are at this point in time, but I know once it starts moving again I will start feeling better.
¤ 17) Do you “live” in the past, present or future? The present, usually. I am quite prone to dwelling, however, which really isn't good and probably why I am so irascible. I definitely am not one to think ahead in most cases, and that is sometimes really problematic...
Situations
¤ 18) Could you risk your life on a 15% chance of dying under unknown conditions if you would get really rich if you succeed? Absolutely not. Greed is disgusting and money is certainly not worth a human life, mine or otherwise, for any reason. (/mafioso-fail) I also really believe in working for the things that you want.
¤ 19) There’s war. Some people fight for their lives, some try to flee the field, some protect their family, some hide, some nurse the sick, some organize people, some steal, some try to stop the fights… Where are you? I would run. I would die to help others run if I had to, but I would not put my life on the line for any war and I would simply run away so fast and I would not look back. And that is awful and embarrassing and cowardly and makes me feel like a terrible person.
¤ 20) If you had Mukuro's power to possess people, how would you use it? Even the idea of this question makes me uncomfortable. I would feel infinitely violated should someone do it to me; I would never risk making someone else feel that way.
¤ 21) A smiling, white-haired man comes to your house, eats all of your marshmallows, and says he needs your powers in the Mafia to overthrow other Mafias. (You’re getting nicely paid and free ice-cream for a year!) I love dessert, but I do not love dessert that much. More over, I am not too into coups, either, so I would politely refuse him and hope he wouldn't kill me for it.
¤ 22) You find a wallet on the street. It contains a lot of money, a drivers license, and two condoms. Clearly this wallet does not belong to Tsunayoshi Sawada. I would turn it into the local police station wherever I had found it, then immediately scald my hands to kill the bacteria.
¤ 23) Your house is burning. A lot. You have no idea where the other occupants of the house are. As stupid as it would be, I would risk my life to try to find them. Not indefinitely, though. I know the smartest idea would be to leave and get to a telephone as quickly as possible, as the fire department would be better equipped to handle the situation/find my housemates, but I would not be able to stomach the guilt either way. I would do my best to sweep the house on my own, take care of what I could, and then find any way out that I could so that I could phone in the emergency. (The one except to my logic being that if the housemate I couldn't find was my best friend I really would die trying to find her.)
Random
¤ 24) How do you eat your hotdogs? I don't. x_x
¤ 25) What’s your theme song? "Life" by YUI. Beyond my bias for her lyrics, this song in particular really voices a lot of things I feel about myself. The entire song is simply about striving so hard not only to fit in, but to be able to change yourself for the better to do so. You can cry and hide all you want, but really the best way to go about it is to simply step into the light, to acknowledge the things about yourself you want to fix, and then just go for it. It isn't supposed to be easy; that's what makes life worth living. As for actually following that advice...
¤ 26) Tell us a character from another fandom that you identify yourself with? Kyou Sohma from Fruits Basket is the first to come to mind, as I saw (and still see) far too much of myself in him while reading through the series for the first time. He is the first character I found in any story whose actions and thoughts were that intuitive to me as I read.
¤ 27) Give us a picture of, or describe your room Currently (and usually) moderately disorganized. I tend to pile things into categories that only I understand instead of actually putting them away properly. However, I can always extract just about anything upon request with little effort. I've also got a bookshelf filled with a few too many fantasy novels and reference books on language and way too much manga. There's also Nintendo paraphernalia scattered just about everywhere, mostly in the forms of consoles and games ranging from Super Nintendo to Nintendo DS. I guess just the typical bedroom of a super nerd.