This Is How It Ends {No Matter What: Part 2}; Onew/Key; PG
This Is How It Ends
Onew/Key; bestfriends!Onkey; sequel to 'No Matter What'; fluff/ angst/ despair (?); warning: character death; 2136words; pg
There's nothing left for Onew to do but enjoy Key's childhood with him before it all goes away.
Onew’s head remained buried in his palms even after absorbing the news Key’s mother had just laid across the board. He was undoubtedly confused, but not just that, he was also building up anger and gloom and sadness. It flowed through his chest all at the same time. His mouth refused to speak, or rather, shout the words he wanted to say, but eventually, after he felt a comforting, warm hand on his arm, he managed to look up, with tear-stained cheeks and choked out a couple of lines.
“Ageing … b-backwards?” he stuttered. “H-how is that even … humanely possible …?”
“It is, Onew. For Key … it is.”
He took a second to read the expression on Key’s mother’s face, hoping that she was just kidding around, although he knew the situation presented no room for childish gags.
Gaining a sudden streak of confidence, he asked, “If this is real, then there must be some sort of … cure?”
“Key is my son, don’t you think I’ve been to enough doctors to try and solve this? If there was a cure, wouldn’t I have known and applied it by now? Onew, you’re a good kid. And Key … doesn’t have much time left,” she fell short on her own words and lifted her face towards the ceiling slowly, as if to tilt the tears, which were spilling out, right back in to her eyes. She returned to face Onew, who was busy creasing his forehead in concentration and furrowing his eyebrows subconsciously in frustration.
“Why don’t … you give him a childhood to remember?” she tried to pull a smile, as small droplets rolled down her cheeks.
Onew kept silent, looking at the ground between his feet and then finally looked up, his expression riddled with confusion and perhaps, a slight hint of determination. “Mrs Kim … what happens then … when Key,” his eyes bored into hers, “r-reaches Day-0?”
*****
Silence dripped from each corner of the house for a couple more moments and Mrs Kim returned his intense eye contact with her own.
“I … I don’t know.” She shook her head slowly, the pain of losing her child already striking at her sides and furthering hurting her as she thought about Key’s “question-mark” ending.
Key’s ending was a mystery. Onew was one to love mysteries but today, he just wasn’t in the mood. He thanked Mrs Kim and walked up to Key’s bedroom. He peeped past the door and saw Key curled up in a crescent on his bed with the red racing car bed frame he had been mentioning over and over again about. Sleeping peacefully, eyelids shut and relaxed. Onew shook his head, slowly, watching the young boy toss in bed. Of all people, Key, of all people.
Onew left that night, his head still in a dark cloud somewhere. There was no cure, no answer, and no miracle that could help his best friend. He could only stay by him and watch him shrink, little by little … till Day- 0 came. The more he thought about it, the more tears blurred his vision, forcing him to stop and swipe them off angrily. It was too much to handle in one day, just too much.
*****
Years went by like hours, at least to Onew it did. He had been to every hospital in the country, every expert who had a shot at solving Key’s complicated problem and still, he had nothing. Key was 2 years old, undoubtedly small, barely a meter tall and his speech incoherent. Onew had become more of a father than a best friend over the past 12 years. He would pick Key up from his house in the late mornings to bring him to the playground nearby. They would play on the swings, Onew protectively holding on to both chains of the swing and pushing and pulling to the rhythm of it. Key would giggle softly and by the time he was way up in the air, he would be laughing toothily, gurgles bursting out of his cherry pink lips in sheer joy. Both of them would end up laughing - they always did.
They’d go to the supermarket together, Key in the seat of the trolley while Onew pushed it, smiling at the kid in front who’d gasp in awe at anything in the supermarket, actually. They’d go to park together, where Key’s now unstable steps would lead to falls into soft green grass, causing resting butterflies to flutter off the flowers surrounding Key. They’d both just lie in the grass, watching the puffs of clouds drift by and although Key easily got restless, Onew would comply with him and they’d end up tickling each other, breaking the peacefulness with their laughter.
And sometimes, just once in awhile, there’d be people who’d look at the two of them and comment with a loving sigh, “What a lovely son you have,” or “Father and son? You two are adorable together.”
“He’s my best friend,” Onew would reply, but all they’d do was nod as if they understood.
*****
It didn’t bother Onew what people thought of them, all he knew was that he was making Key happy and that he was happy making Key happy. The only thing throbbing at the back of his head every single day was the fear of Day - 0. How he wished it would never come.
Key, on the other hand, couldn’t understand his own situation. He was, after all, 2 years old. Yet, although he was that young, he loved Onew. He loved him so much, he just didn’t know why. And being the baby he was, it didn’t bother him at all. Key just lived each day waiting for Onew to pick him up and have fun with him and on days when Onew couldn’t turn up, he’d be crying like hell, waking the neighbors and causing a racket till his mother reassured him that Onew would be there the next day.
Key’s mother was older now, her faced was traced with wrinkles caused by worry and stress. This was hardly avoidable since each passing day was like a thorn in her side; she was losing the only son she had. It hurt her to see him gurgle and smile, his eyes crinkling up. It hurt her how he yawned and rubbed his eyes with balled fists. It hurt her to see him so oblivious to the raw fact that he was …dying. She hurt, everything hurt.
*****
Another year and a half flew by, Onew knew it was coming. But no one knew when exactly. He dedicated every moment he had free to being with Key. After so long, he had learned how to control his emotions in front of his best friend. He looked longingly at the boy in his crib, sucking on his thumb, eyelids fluttering. This scared him, every time Key went to sleep; it scared him that he might never wake up. It was impossibly tough on Onew in the last few days; his heart rate would increase ten-fold every time Key remained still for more than a minute and hundred-fold every time Key woke up.
And then one day, it happened.
*****
Onew was cradling Key in his arms, the baby was so tiny, so delicate, nothing like the boy Onew had first met when they were both 17. Onew reminisced on the day they’d starting talking, when they’d bike race and stay out late just ... talking. He wondered if Key had known then about his situation and if he did, why didn’t he mention it. Onew looked at Key again, but something was amiss. Key felt lighter, he felt a lot lighter. He had also become a paler shade of pink and he was trembling.
Onew started panicking and shouted for Mrs Kim to come upstairs to Key’s room. Tears were already streaming down Onew’s cheek as he gripped Key tightly and repeated, “Not now, Key, not now, not now …” Mrs Kim ran into the room, it was evident she had been crying, but seeing her son now just made her into a bigger mess. She began choking on her tears and pulled an almost fading Key into her arms. Onew made a grab for his phone to call the ambulance, but Mrs Kim gripped his arm and shook her head.
“W-we don’t need them to t-take the seconds l-left from us …” she whispered, between heavy sobs.
Key was silent, just silent. His eyes were open and blinking, but he had no idea he was fading. That made everything worse. Key managed a small, faint smile as the two adults in the room were rendered without help and were pulling at their hair on what to do while they let the tears flow in continuous streams. Within minutes, Key felt like air in Onew and Mrs Kim’s arms and he was barely visible in their arms.
“Not now, not now …” Onew cried softly.
*****
They sat in a corner of the room, holding on to what looked like Key’s silhouette but was actually him fading into nothingness. Key became translucent, his fingers curling in fists lightly and he pointed across the room. Onew followed the direction of his finger as he pointed it steadily at his jewellery box resting on the table top, the one where he kept his countless earrings when he was a teen. It had been there since forever and no one had touched it. Since Key was the focal point every time Onew came to visit, he had no time to explore Key’s room at all.
By that time, Key was almost transparent already. He smiled but his whole body was a sign of weakness, limp and cold. Onew and Mrs Kim cried it out; they couldn’t do anything but hold him tight to their chests in the final moments. And just like that, Key was gone.
They sat there crying some more, crying at the fact that Key had disappeared, crying that they were so helpless and crying in pure shock and pain. Finally, Onew stood up, his cheeks tear-stained, eyes red and sore from all the crying and head throbbing with undeniable pain. He took wobbly steps towards the trinket and lifted its lid slowly. A wave of emotion washed over him as he peered into the box.
*****
In it were the blue studs they had gotten when Onew went to pierce his ears for the first time, twinkling up at him the way he imagined Key’s eyes would have. And buried beneath those little pieces of glimmering rock, was a folded piece of paper, yellowed with age and Onew could only imagine how long ago Key had written it. He felt the heat from the tears prick at his eyes and roll off his cheeks.
Onew:
I know when you read this, I’ll probably be barely a year old, or maybe not even in this world anymore, but nonetheless I have to tell you everything I want to in this letter. You might hate me now for not telling you about my condition back then, but honestly I did try to tell you! Remember when we first met? I said I had just turned 17 the day before? I was going to tell you, I swear. But it just didn’t come out. I guess I wanted to be treated normally for a bit and it dragged … till you found out yourself. I’m sorry.
You know me well enough, I’m not all sentimental and emotional but believe me when I say that you have been the single best-est friend I’ve ever had in my life. You have to believe it, because you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading my letter right now, and you would’ve stopped taking care of me a long time ago. All those times we shared together, all the fun we had, I’ll never want to forget it. But given my conditions, I probably will and for that, I hate myself. I don’t ever want to forget you. Ever.
I hope that when I’m gone, you won’t be crying about me because there’s nothing to cry about, really. You’ve been the awesome-st best friend in the universe and I couldn’t have asked for more. I’m dying and I know it, but it happens to everyone, I’m just a special case. Onew, you made my life perfect, if anything I’ll ask God to bring you to me when you cross into the light too. I sound like a sick girlfriend now, but it’s true. Just do me a favor and get one more piercing done, will you? ^.^
Your best friend,
Key
With that, Onew fell to his knees, allowing the unrelenting tears to stream down his face once more.
I'm sorry I'm such a fail fanfic writer )': I REALLY TRIED TO MAKE IT GOOD. REALLY.
URL for 'No Matter What' {Part One of this Fic} :
http://stanleee.livejournal.com/1782.html
Entry as posted on shinee_replay community
Onew/Key; bestfriends!Onkey; sequel to 'No Matter What'; fluff/ angst/ despair (?); warning: character death; 2136words; pg
There's nothing left for Onew to do but enjoy Key's childhood with him before it all goes away.
Onew’s head remained buried in his palms even after absorbing the news Key’s mother had just laid across the board. He was undoubtedly confused, but not just that, he was also building up anger and gloom and sadness. It flowed through his chest all at the same time. His mouth refused to speak, or rather, shout the words he wanted to say, but eventually, after he felt a comforting, warm hand on his arm, he managed to look up, with tear-stained cheeks and choked out a couple of lines.
“Ageing … b-backwards?” he stuttered. “H-how is that even … humanely possible …?”
“It is, Onew. For Key … it is.”
He took a second to read the expression on Key’s mother’s face, hoping that she was just kidding around, although he knew the situation presented no room for childish gags.
Gaining a sudden streak of confidence, he asked, “If this is real, then there must be some sort of … cure?”
“Key is my son, don’t you think I’ve been to enough doctors to try and solve this? If there was a cure, wouldn’t I have known and applied it by now? Onew, you’re a good kid. And Key … doesn’t have much time left,” she fell short on her own words and lifted her face towards the ceiling slowly, as if to tilt the tears, which were spilling out, right back in to her eyes. She returned to face Onew, who was busy creasing his forehead in concentration and furrowing his eyebrows subconsciously in frustration.
“Why don’t … you give him a childhood to remember?” she tried to pull a smile, as small droplets rolled down her cheeks.
Onew kept silent, looking at the ground between his feet and then finally looked up, his expression riddled with confusion and perhaps, a slight hint of determination. “Mrs Kim … what happens then … when Key,” his eyes bored into hers, “r-reaches Day-0?”
*****
Silence dripped from each corner of the house for a couple more moments and Mrs Kim returned his intense eye contact with her own.
“I … I don’t know.” She shook her head slowly, the pain of losing her child already striking at her sides and furthering hurting her as she thought about Key’s “question-mark” ending.
Key’s ending was a mystery. Onew was one to love mysteries but today, he just wasn’t in the mood. He thanked Mrs Kim and walked up to Key’s bedroom. He peeped past the door and saw Key curled up in a crescent on his bed with the red racing car bed frame he had been mentioning over and over again about. Sleeping peacefully, eyelids shut and relaxed. Onew shook his head, slowly, watching the young boy toss in bed. Of all people, Key, of all people.
Onew left that night, his head still in a dark cloud somewhere. There was no cure, no answer, and no miracle that could help his best friend. He could only stay by him and watch him shrink, little by little … till Day- 0 came. The more he thought about it, the more tears blurred his vision, forcing him to stop and swipe them off angrily. It was too much to handle in one day, just too much.
*****
Years went by like hours, at least to Onew it did. He had been to every hospital in the country, every expert who had a shot at solving Key’s complicated problem and still, he had nothing. Key was 2 years old, undoubtedly small, barely a meter tall and his speech incoherent. Onew had become more of a father than a best friend over the past 12 years. He would pick Key up from his house in the late mornings to bring him to the playground nearby. They would play on the swings, Onew protectively holding on to both chains of the swing and pushing and pulling to the rhythm of it. Key would giggle softly and by the time he was way up in the air, he would be laughing toothily, gurgles bursting out of his cherry pink lips in sheer joy. Both of them would end up laughing - they always did.
They’d go to the supermarket together, Key in the seat of the trolley while Onew pushed it, smiling at the kid in front who’d gasp in awe at anything in the supermarket, actually. They’d go to park together, where Key’s now unstable steps would lead to falls into soft green grass, causing resting butterflies to flutter off the flowers surrounding Key. They’d both just lie in the grass, watching the puffs of clouds drift by and although Key easily got restless, Onew would comply with him and they’d end up tickling each other, breaking the peacefulness with their laughter.
And sometimes, just once in awhile, there’d be people who’d look at the two of them and comment with a loving sigh, “What a lovely son you have,” or “Father and son? You two are adorable together.”
“He’s my best friend,” Onew would reply, but all they’d do was nod as if they understood.
*****
It didn’t bother Onew what people thought of them, all he knew was that he was making Key happy and that he was happy making Key happy. The only thing throbbing at the back of his head every single day was the fear of Day - 0. How he wished it would never come.
Key, on the other hand, couldn’t understand his own situation. He was, after all, 2 years old. Yet, although he was that young, he loved Onew. He loved him so much, he just didn’t know why. And being the baby he was, it didn’t bother him at all. Key just lived each day waiting for Onew to pick him up and have fun with him and on days when Onew couldn’t turn up, he’d be crying like hell, waking the neighbors and causing a racket till his mother reassured him that Onew would be there the next day.
Key’s mother was older now, her faced was traced with wrinkles caused by worry and stress. This was hardly avoidable since each passing day was like a thorn in her side; she was losing the only son she had. It hurt her to see him gurgle and smile, his eyes crinkling up. It hurt her how he yawned and rubbed his eyes with balled fists. It hurt her to see him so oblivious to the raw fact that he was …dying. She hurt, everything hurt.
*****
Another year and a half flew by, Onew knew it was coming. But no one knew when exactly. He dedicated every moment he had free to being with Key. After so long, he had learned how to control his emotions in front of his best friend. He looked longingly at the boy in his crib, sucking on his thumb, eyelids fluttering. This scared him, every time Key went to sleep; it scared him that he might never wake up. It was impossibly tough on Onew in the last few days; his heart rate would increase ten-fold every time Key remained still for more than a minute and hundred-fold every time Key woke up.
And then one day, it happened.
*****
Onew was cradling Key in his arms, the baby was so tiny, so delicate, nothing like the boy Onew had first met when they were both 17. Onew reminisced on the day they’d starting talking, when they’d bike race and stay out late just ... talking. He wondered if Key had known then about his situation and if he did, why didn’t he mention it. Onew looked at Key again, but something was amiss. Key felt lighter, he felt a lot lighter. He had also become a paler shade of pink and he was trembling.
Onew started panicking and shouted for Mrs Kim to come upstairs to Key’s room. Tears were already streaming down Onew’s cheek as he gripped Key tightly and repeated, “Not now, Key, not now, not now …” Mrs Kim ran into the room, it was evident she had been crying, but seeing her son now just made her into a bigger mess. She began choking on her tears and pulled an almost fading Key into her arms. Onew made a grab for his phone to call the ambulance, but Mrs Kim gripped his arm and shook her head.
“W-we don’t need them to t-take the seconds l-left from us …” she whispered, between heavy sobs.
Key was silent, just silent. His eyes were open and blinking, but he had no idea he was fading. That made everything worse. Key managed a small, faint smile as the two adults in the room were rendered without help and were pulling at their hair on what to do while they let the tears flow in continuous streams. Within minutes, Key felt like air in Onew and Mrs Kim’s arms and he was barely visible in their arms.
“Not now, not now …” Onew cried softly.
*****
They sat in a corner of the room, holding on to what looked like Key’s silhouette but was actually him fading into nothingness. Key became translucent, his fingers curling in fists lightly and he pointed across the room. Onew followed the direction of his finger as he pointed it steadily at his jewellery box resting on the table top, the one where he kept his countless earrings when he was a teen. It had been there since forever and no one had touched it. Since Key was the focal point every time Onew came to visit, he had no time to explore Key’s room at all.
By that time, Key was almost transparent already. He smiled but his whole body was a sign of weakness, limp and cold. Onew and Mrs Kim cried it out; they couldn’t do anything but hold him tight to their chests in the final moments. And just like that, Key was gone.
They sat there crying some more, crying at the fact that Key had disappeared, crying that they were so helpless and crying in pure shock and pain. Finally, Onew stood up, his cheeks tear-stained, eyes red and sore from all the crying and head throbbing with undeniable pain. He took wobbly steps towards the trinket and lifted its lid slowly. A wave of emotion washed over him as he peered into the box.
*****
In it were the blue studs they had gotten when Onew went to pierce his ears for the first time, twinkling up at him the way he imagined Key’s eyes would have. And buried beneath those little pieces of glimmering rock, was a folded piece of paper, yellowed with age and Onew could only imagine how long ago Key had written it. He felt the heat from the tears prick at his eyes and roll off his cheeks.
Onew:
I know when you read this, I’ll probably be barely a year old, or maybe not even in this world anymore, but nonetheless I have to tell you everything I want to in this letter. You might hate me now for not telling you about my condition back then, but honestly I did try to tell you! Remember when we first met? I said I had just turned 17 the day before? I was going to tell you, I swear. But it just didn’t come out. I guess I wanted to be treated normally for a bit and it dragged … till you found out yourself. I’m sorry.
You know me well enough, I’m not all sentimental and emotional but believe me when I say that you have been the single best-est friend I’ve ever had in my life. You have to believe it, because you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading my letter right now, and you would’ve stopped taking care of me a long time ago. All those times we shared together, all the fun we had, I’ll never want to forget it. But given my conditions, I probably will and for that, I hate myself. I don’t ever want to forget you. Ever.
I hope that when I’m gone, you won’t be crying about me because there’s nothing to cry about, really. You’ve been the awesome-st best friend in the universe and I couldn’t have asked for more. I’m dying and I know it, but it happens to everyone, I’m just a special case. Onew, you made my life perfect, if anything I’ll ask God to bring you to me when you cross into the light too. I sound like a sick girlfriend now, but it’s true. Just do me a favor and get one more piercing done, will you? ^.^
Your best friend,
Key
With that, Onew fell to his knees, allowing the unrelenting tears to stream down his face once more.
I'm sorry I'm such a fail fanfic writer )': I REALLY TRIED TO MAKE IT GOOD. REALLY.
URL for 'No Matter What' {Part One of this Fic} :
http://stanleee.livejournal.com/1782.html
Entry as posted on shinee_replay community