The Status War; SHINee!bandfic; PG
The Status War
SHINee!bandfic; crack; pg; 1158words; Facebook verse
When you fail once, just try, try again. (But using a different website, of course)
27 September 2010, Monday
TEXT
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin, Key (02.04)
Guys I’ve got a breakthrough.
From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Key (02.06)
Tell me I’m not the only one hearing this please.
From Minho
To Onew (02.07)
Nope, I got it too. He’s probably figured out how to use the drycleaner.
From Key
To Onew (02.07)
Hey Leader, tell him to shut up and go sleep. It’s a Monday.
From Onew
To Jonghyun (02.08)
Don’t you think it’s a little early for this?
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin, Key (02.09)
WAKE UP AND GET ON THE COMPUTER. I found Facebook.
From Key
To Onew (02.10)
He found what?
From Minho
To Onew (02.11)
Hyung, he’s randomly connecting words like Heechul hyung again.
From Onew
To Key, Minho (02.12)
I’m going to get some rope, come if I holler.
*****
From Key
To Minho (04.16)
What’s taking Onew-hyung so long?
From Minho
To Key (04.17)
I’m going to check. Come if I shout.
From Key
To Taemin (05.43)
Taem? Could you go check on the hyungs?
From Key
To Taemin (05.44)
LEE TAEMIN THIS IS IMPORTANT.
From Key
To Taemin (05.46)
!!
From Key
To Taemin (05.47)
Fine. If I get murdered or whatever, it’s your fault, you hear?
*****
Key promptly ends up in Jonghyun’s room, where Onew, Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin are hunched over their own computer screens, typing away furiously.
“What took you so long?”
“Well, I thought you guys were dead. I mean, just don’t reply my messages, Taemin, it’s perfectly fine.”
“Sorry.”
“Hurry create a Facebook account!”
“Facebook? There’s such a thing?”
His netbook was efficiently shoved under his nose and then silence ensued, with more clickety-clicks of the keyboards.
*****
28 September 2010, Tuesday
FACEBOOK
Key is not allowing that bottle of soap out of his sight from this second on. (19.09)
Jjong likes this
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Onew Oops. (19.10)
Jjong likes this
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Key > Onew SO IT WAS YOU. (19.12)
Jjong Screwed, hyung, screwed. (19.13)
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Onew Don’t act like you didn’t use it too. (19.14)
Key Who used it exactly? >:( (19.17)
Jjong Not me. (19.18)
Onew He did. (19.18)
Key just joined the group ‘Get your own stuff.’ (19.20)
Taemin likes this
Taemin: LOL hyung.
Minho is forever alone ;___; (19.21)
Taemin How do I upload stuff? (19.22)
Jjong: Newb.
Taemin: Where do I download that?
Jjong Oh Lord help me. (19.22)
Onew Someone’s being mean. (19.23)
Jjong I can’t help it if I’m a pro. (19.24)
Taemin likes this
Onew: What’s wrong with you, boy??
Taemin: He helped?
Onew: Newb is not a software.
Taemin SOMEONE’S BEING VERY MEAN >:( (19.27)
Key That’s it; I’m buying a new bottle of soap. (19.32)
Onew likes this
Jjong likes this
Key: What makes you both think I’m buying it for us?
Onew Facebook needs a ‘Dislike’ button. (19.34)
Jjong likes this
Key Facebook doesn’t need soap robbers. (19.36)
Minho is playing soccer with the wall. (19.37)
Minho is throwing a softball against the wall. (19.38)
Minho is playing tennis with the wall. (19.39)
Minho is throwing the softball against the wall again. (19.40)
Jjong > Minho Dude, you’re spamming my homepage. (19.42)
Minho A visitor! :DDD (19.42)
Minho > Jjong HI HYUNG! (19.42)
Onew feels hungry. (19.45)
Jjong: What? Chicken again?
Onew would like to declare that he does NOT eat chicken 24/7. (19.47)
Taemin: 23/7 is only an hour difference per day, hyung.
Jjong likes Taemin’s comment
Taemin Are we supposed to be at dance practice now? (19.52)
Onew: Oh shit.
Jjong: …
Minho is at the dance studio … alone. (19.52)
*****
Onew nearly got his head bitten off by Manager Hyung for being late. (23.37)
Jjong: That has got to be an understatement.
Jjong > Key How in the world did you get away with being late?? (23.39)
Key does not have the strawberry-scented bubble bath soap gel with him anymore ): (23.41)
Jjong: ahh, I see.
Taemin Has anyone seen Minho-hyung? (23.42)
Minho > Taemin I’M HERE! I’M HERE! (23.42)
Taemin Oh, found him. (23.43)
Minho Why does my gut feeling tell me that I’m going to be ignored again? (23.44)
Jjong just liked the group ‘I ♥ Kim Jonghyun’ (23.45)
Key: You’re shameless.
Jjong Someone’s jealous he doesn’t have a fan club on FB. (23.46)
Onew is going to practice his rocker face in front of the mirror now. (23.48)
Taemin: Which room are you in? Remind me not to go in there please.
Key, Jjong and Minho like Taemin’s comment
Key just liked the group ‘Kim Kibum is ♥’ (23.50)
Jjong: BWAHAHAHAHA
Key DO TOO. (23.51)
Onew is insulted. (23.53)
Jjong: You look way more rocker when you’re constipated, hyung.
Key: But he looks constipated now too.
Taemin: He sounds like it too.
Onew is going to write a letter to the Facebook mods to bring in a ‘Dislike’ button right now. (23.54)
Jjong > Key THAT’S SUPER JUNIOR’S KIM KIBUM YOU IDIOT LOLOL (23.55)
Key just liked the group ‘SHINee’s Key ♥’ (23.56)
Key FU. (23.57)
Onew: Now, now. Watch the language please.
Jjong Thank God stupidity isn’t contagious. (23.58)
Taemin likes this
Onew: okay, time out guys.
Key Thank God ugliness isn’t contagious. (23.59)
Taemin likes this
Onew: Stop it Taem.
Jjong Yeah, Thank God indeed. I wouldn’t want to catch it from someone. (00.00)
Taemin likes this
Minho is a silent observer. (00.03)
Onew: Good. One less headache.
Key OMG he did not just call me ugly. (00.04)
Taemin likes this
Jjong Butt hurt. (00.05)
Taemin likes this
Onew No one ever listens to me ): (00.06)
Taemin likes this
Onew: THAT’S ENOUGH NOW.
Manager Hyung > Onew, Key, Minho, Jjong, Taemin (00.08)
When I wake up tomorrow, these accounts will not be here at all. Understood?
Jjong > Key LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID NOW. (00.09)
Key> Jjong HOW IS THIS MY FAULT. (00.10)
Minho can’t feel no love lost. Bye FB! ^^ (00.13)
Onew is sighing. Bye FB. (00.13)
Jjong > Key PFFFFFT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. (00.14)
Key > Jjong YOU’RE JUST PUSHING THE BLAME AGAIN, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. (00.15)
Taemin Adios Muchachos. (00.16)
Jjong> Key MAYBE BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT YOU WHINY MAN. (00.18)
Manager Hyung > Jjong, Key (00.19)
By my tenth blink, if I see you two still here, I am coming up to your rooms and you will not like it. You have nine more blinks before I get up there.
Jjong It’s still your fault. Bye FB. (00.20)
Key Loser. Bye FB. (00.20)
*****
29 September 2010, Wednesday
TEXT
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Key, Minho, Taemin (09.56)
Hey guys check this out.
www.twitter.com
First shot at crack, hope you guys enjoyed it!
Comments are ♥
SHINee!bandfic; crack; pg; 1158words; Facebook verse
When you fail once, just try, try again. (But using a different website, of course)
27 September 2010, Monday
TEXT
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin, Key (02.04)
Guys I’ve got a breakthrough.
From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Key (02.06)
Tell me I’m not the only one hearing this please.
From Minho
To Onew (02.07)
Nope, I got it too. He’s probably figured out how to use the drycleaner.
From Key
To Onew (02.07)
Hey Leader, tell him to shut up and go sleep. It’s a Monday.
From Onew
To Jonghyun (02.08)
Don’t you think it’s a little early for this?
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin, Key (02.09)
WAKE UP AND GET ON THE COMPUTER. I found Facebook.
From Key
To Onew (02.10)
He found what?
From Minho
To Onew (02.11)
Hyung, he’s randomly connecting words like Heechul hyung again.
From Onew
To Key, Minho (02.12)
I’m going to get some rope, come if I holler.
*****
From Key
To Minho (04.16)
What’s taking Onew-hyung so long?
From Minho
To Key (04.17)
I’m going to check. Come if I shout.
From Key
To Taemin (05.43)
Taem? Could you go check on the hyungs?
From Key
To Taemin (05.44)
LEE TAEMIN THIS IS IMPORTANT.
From Key
To Taemin (05.46)
!!
From Key
To Taemin (05.47)
Fine. If I get murdered or whatever, it’s your fault, you hear?
*****
Key promptly ends up in Jonghyun’s room, where Onew, Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin are hunched over their own computer screens, typing away furiously.
“What took you so long?”
“Well, I thought you guys were dead. I mean, just don’t reply my messages, Taemin, it’s perfectly fine.”
“Sorry.”
“Hurry create a Facebook account!”
“Facebook? There’s such a thing?”
His netbook was efficiently shoved under his nose and then silence ensued, with more clickety-clicks of the keyboards.
*****
28 September 2010, Tuesday
Key is not allowing that bottle of soap out of his sight from this second on. (19.09)
Jjong likes this
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Onew Oops. (19.10)
Jjong likes this
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Key > Onew SO IT WAS YOU. (19.12)
Jjong Screwed, hyung, screwed. (19.13)
Taemin likes this
Minho likes this
Onew Don’t act like you didn’t use it too. (19.14)
Key Who used it exactly? >:( (19.17)
Jjong Not me. (19.18)
Onew He did. (19.18)
Key just joined the group ‘Get your own stuff.’ (19.20)
Taemin likes this
Taemin: LOL hyung.
Minho is forever alone ;___; (19.21)
Taemin How do I upload stuff? (19.22)
Jjong: Newb.
Taemin: Where do I download that?
Jjong Oh Lord help me. (19.22)
Onew Someone’s being mean. (19.23)
Jjong I can’t help it if I’m a pro. (19.24)
Taemin likes this
Onew: What’s wrong with you, boy??
Taemin: He helped?
Onew: Newb is not a software.
Taemin SOMEONE’S BEING VERY MEAN >:( (19.27)
Key That’s it; I’m buying a new bottle of soap. (19.32)
Onew likes this
Jjong likes this
Key: What makes you both think I’m buying it for us?
Onew Facebook needs a ‘Dislike’ button. (19.34)
Jjong likes this
Key Facebook doesn’t need soap robbers. (19.36)
Minho is playing soccer with the wall. (19.37)
Minho is throwing a softball against the wall. (19.38)
Minho is playing tennis with the wall. (19.39)
Minho is throwing the softball against the wall again. (19.40)
Jjong > Minho Dude, you’re spamming my homepage. (19.42)
Minho A visitor! :DDD (19.42)
Minho > Jjong HI HYUNG! (19.42)
Onew feels hungry. (19.45)
Jjong: What? Chicken again?
Onew would like to declare that he does NOT eat chicken 24/7. (19.47)
Taemin: 23/7 is only an hour difference per day, hyung.
Jjong likes Taemin’s comment
Taemin Are we supposed to be at dance practice now? (19.52)
Onew: Oh shit.
Jjong: …
Minho is at the dance studio … alone. (19.52)
*****
Onew nearly got his head bitten off by Manager Hyung for being late. (23.37)
Jjong: That has got to be an understatement.
Jjong > Key How in the world did you get away with being late?? (23.39)
Key does not have the strawberry-scented bubble bath soap gel with him anymore ): (23.41)
Jjong: ahh, I see.
Taemin Has anyone seen Minho-hyung? (23.42)
Minho > Taemin I’M HERE! I’M HERE! (23.42)
Taemin Oh, found him. (23.43)
Minho Why does my gut feeling tell me that I’m going to be ignored again? (23.44)
Jjong just liked the group ‘I ♥ Kim Jonghyun’ (23.45)
Key: You’re shameless.
Jjong Someone’s jealous he doesn’t have a fan club on FB. (23.46)
Onew is going to practice his rocker face in front of the mirror now. (23.48)
Taemin: Which room are you in? Remind me not to go in there please.
Key, Jjong and Minho like Taemin’s comment
Key just liked the group ‘Kim Kibum is ♥’ (23.50)
Jjong: BWAHAHAHAHA
Key DO TOO. (23.51)
Onew is insulted. (23.53)
Jjong: You look way more rocker when you’re constipated, hyung.
Key: But he looks constipated now too.
Taemin: He sounds like it too.
Onew is going to write a letter to the Facebook mods to bring in a ‘Dislike’ button right now. (23.54)
Jjong > Key THAT’S SUPER JUNIOR’S KIM KIBUM YOU IDIOT LOLOL (23.55)
Key just liked the group ‘SHINee’s Key ♥’ (23.56)
Key FU. (23.57)
Onew: Now, now. Watch the language please.
Jjong Thank God stupidity isn’t contagious. (23.58)
Taemin likes this
Onew: okay, time out guys.
Key Thank God ugliness isn’t contagious. (23.59)
Taemin likes this
Onew: Stop it Taem.
Jjong Yeah, Thank God indeed. I wouldn’t want to catch it from someone. (00.00)
Taemin likes this
Minho is a silent observer. (00.03)
Onew: Good. One less headache.
Key OMG he did not just call me ugly. (00.04)
Taemin likes this
Jjong Butt hurt. (00.05)
Taemin likes this
Onew No one ever listens to me ): (00.06)
Taemin likes this
Onew: THAT’S ENOUGH NOW.
Manager Hyung > Onew, Key, Minho, Jjong, Taemin (00.08)
When I wake up tomorrow, these accounts will not be here at all. Understood?
Jjong > Key LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID NOW. (00.09)
Key> Jjong HOW IS THIS MY FAULT. (00.10)
Minho can’t feel no love lost. Bye FB! ^^ (00.13)
Onew is sighing. Bye FB. (00.13)
Jjong > Key PFFFFFT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. (00.14)
Key > Jjong YOU’RE JUST PUSHING THE BLAME AGAIN, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. (00.15)
Taemin Adios Muchachos. (00.16)
Jjong> Key MAYBE BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT YOU WHINY MAN. (00.18)
Manager Hyung > Jjong, Key (00.19)
By my tenth blink, if I see you two still here, I am coming up to your rooms and you will not like it. You have nine more blinks before I get up there.
Jjong It’s still your fault. Bye FB. (00.20)
Key Loser. Bye FB. (00.20)
*****
29 September 2010, Wednesday
TEXT
From Jonghyun
To Onew, Key, Minho, Taemin (09.56)
Hey guys check this out.
www.twitter.com
First shot at crack, hope you guys enjoyed it!
Comments are ♥