[fic]
untitled
rating: PG
fandom: SS501
pairing: Hyunjoong/Kyujong
summary: Kyujong knows all about love and its symptoms.
comments: Just trying to get back into the habit of writing.
one.
Lights dim, voices loud, and there’s a hot rush of blood to his head. Sways, wavers, blinks and wonders if perhaps the anticipation and excitement (and the voices all those voices shouting and screaming for all five of them) are going to make him faint, but then there are fingers, five cool presses of firmness, against the back of Kyujong’s neck, and the head rush passes. He turns, finds himself blinking into false-blue eyes, and smiles in his gratitude; it’s too loud, too noisy right here by the stage to use words. But the smile he receives in return almost brings the head rush back.
two.
Getting ready - make-up, clothes, hair styling - always makes Kyujong feel like his head is spinning. Backstage before a performance, or a photo shoot, or an interview, or anything, there’s always so much going on, so many people talking and moving around. It’s all for an interview today, although Kyujong actually has to stop and think about it first; sometimes he can’t quite keep up. It’s almost time to start recording, and there are voices and talking and people and his head is doing that spinning thing again. He looks over at Hyunjoong, doesn’t even think about it, and reaches out to fix a twist in the collar of his shirt. Well practiced, an action of no particular meaning, one that happens without thought, and Kyujong wonders if there are other reasons why his head spins like this sometimes.
three.
Sometimes - rarely, because usually they’re both too tired to do anything other than sleep - but sometimes they lie there together and talk in the dark. When Kyujong can’t sleep. When Hyunjoong can’t sleep. Just because. Tonight, they stay up talking because Kyujong doesn’t want to fall asleep yet, doesn’t want to have to think, or dream. So they talk about anything, everything; they laugh, they have serious moments, they have quiet moments, they have moments where Kyujong feels the need to reach out and touch Hyunjoong, arm, shoulder, just this need for a little bit of contact. He likes to just listen to Hyunjoong talk. Kyujong asks him to keep going, so Hyunjoong indulges him (he usually does) and Kyujong thinks quietly to himself that this, this right here, might just be the reason he doesn’t want to fall asleep tonight.
four.
Kyujong is, for the most part, and certainly compared to some of the others, relatively quiet and calm. There’s a reason he’s seen as the ‘centre’ of the group. None of that seems to be particularly relevant at the moment though, not when he shuffles quietly into the kitchen and finds Hyunjoong talking to Youngsaeng. It’s not a big deal, why would it be, except Hyunjoong leans in close as he talks, Youngsaeng half-smiles as he listens, and they look close. At that moment Kyujong experiences another kind of rush. The burn of jealousy, envy. It’s not something he’s used to feeling, and it certainly doesn’t fit with his quiet, calm, nature. He knows it’s irrational, that there’s nothing going on between them, not like that, and yet as he pastes a smile on his face and gets himself some breakfast he can’t help but feel like he’s intruding upon something.
five.
Kyujong knows all about love and its symptoms. He’s read books, he’s seen movies, he’s heard stories from friends. He knows all about sweaty palms and racing heart, butterflies in the stomach and a rush of blood to the head. He knows that a smile from the right person can make any dull day bright again, and how anyone who gets in the way of that can set off the spark of jealousy. He knows all of this, but it’s only recently, only now, that he’s ever actually experienced any of this for himself. It’s overwhelming, and all he can think as a comforting hand slips into his own and that smile is aimed at him (only for him in this tiny moment) is how none of those books or movies or stories from friends ever quite described this.
Then again, he considers, love is a difficult mixture of feelings to describe, as he's starting to find out.
- end -
rating: PG
fandom: SS501
pairing: Hyunjoong/Kyujong
summary: Kyujong knows all about love and its symptoms.
comments: Just trying to get back into the habit of writing.
one.
Lights dim, voices loud, and there’s a hot rush of blood to his head. Sways, wavers, blinks and wonders if perhaps the anticipation and excitement (and the voices all those voices shouting and screaming for all five of them) are going to make him faint, but then there are fingers, five cool presses of firmness, against the back of Kyujong’s neck, and the head rush passes. He turns, finds himself blinking into false-blue eyes, and smiles in his gratitude; it’s too loud, too noisy right here by the stage to use words. But the smile he receives in return almost brings the head rush back.
two.
Getting ready - make-up, clothes, hair styling - always makes Kyujong feel like his head is spinning. Backstage before a performance, or a photo shoot, or an interview, or anything, there’s always so much going on, so many people talking and moving around. It’s all for an interview today, although Kyujong actually has to stop and think about it first; sometimes he can’t quite keep up. It’s almost time to start recording, and there are voices and talking and people and his head is doing that spinning thing again. He looks over at Hyunjoong, doesn’t even think about it, and reaches out to fix a twist in the collar of his shirt. Well practiced, an action of no particular meaning, one that happens without thought, and Kyujong wonders if there are other reasons why his head spins like this sometimes.
three.
Sometimes - rarely, because usually they’re both too tired to do anything other than sleep - but sometimes they lie there together and talk in the dark. When Kyujong can’t sleep. When Hyunjoong can’t sleep. Just because. Tonight, they stay up talking because Kyujong doesn’t want to fall asleep yet, doesn’t want to have to think, or dream. So they talk about anything, everything; they laugh, they have serious moments, they have quiet moments, they have moments where Kyujong feels the need to reach out and touch Hyunjoong, arm, shoulder, just this need for a little bit of contact. He likes to just listen to Hyunjoong talk. Kyujong asks him to keep going, so Hyunjoong indulges him (he usually does) and Kyujong thinks quietly to himself that this, this right here, might just be the reason he doesn’t want to fall asleep tonight.
four.
Kyujong is, for the most part, and certainly compared to some of the others, relatively quiet and calm. There’s a reason he’s seen as the ‘centre’ of the group. None of that seems to be particularly relevant at the moment though, not when he shuffles quietly into the kitchen and finds Hyunjoong talking to Youngsaeng. It’s not a big deal, why would it be, except Hyunjoong leans in close as he talks, Youngsaeng half-smiles as he listens, and they look close. At that moment Kyujong experiences another kind of rush. The burn of jealousy, envy. It’s not something he’s used to feeling, and it certainly doesn’t fit with his quiet, calm, nature. He knows it’s irrational, that there’s nothing going on between them, not like that, and yet as he pastes a smile on his face and gets himself some breakfast he can’t help but feel like he’s intruding upon something.
five.
Kyujong knows all about love and its symptoms. He’s read books, he’s seen movies, he’s heard stories from friends. He knows all about sweaty palms and racing heart, butterflies in the stomach and a rush of blood to the head. He knows that a smile from the right person can make any dull day bright again, and how anyone who gets in the way of that can set off the spark of jealousy. He knows all of this, but it’s only recently, only now, that he’s ever actually experienced any of this for himself. It’s overwhelming, and all he can think as a comforting hand slips into his own and that smile is aimed at him (only for him in this tiny moment) is how none of those books or movies or stories from friends ever quite described this.
Then again, he considers, love is a difficult mixture of feelings to describe, as he's starting to find out.
- end -