[fic]
title: A Matter of Time
rating: R
fandom: Super Junior
pairing: Shiwon/Donghae
summary: He's been trying to seduce you for awhile, it's only a matter of time before you give in.
You find yourself suddenly pressed up against the wall, without any kind of forewarning. The wall feels cool through the thin material of your t-shirt, which is at complete odds to the hot body pressing you against it.
You have no time to protest or even make a sound because a mouth covers your own, hard, and hot, and hungry, kissing you roughly. He pulls back a moment later, and your lips already feel sore and bruised.
His face is still close to your own, too close. His lips are parted and his breath is hot against your skin. When he speaks, you can feel the words as well as hear them. You tremble.
“I want you, Donghae.” His voice is low and thick, full of desire and lust and promises. His dark eyes practically burn into your own. You find yourself trembling against him, scared, nervous. Not just from the sheer amount of desire you can feel pouring from his body; at the way he wants you, one of his warm hands sliding slowly down your bare arm, fingers dancing over your prickling skin. But because, deep down, you think you might want him too, just a little. And you know it’s wrong.
You shake your head, just a little, because his face is so close and you’re not willingly going to close that tiny gap between them. “I’ve told you before, Shiwon …” your voice sounds a little bit strained, a little bit breathless. It makes Shiwon smile.
He just smirks. He’s heard it all before, your protests, your excuses. He’s tried this before, as well, to get you. Every time he has, you’ve pushed him away. But your horror at his sheer audacity fades a little every time, and you’ve been starting to worry, sometimes, that maybe - just maybe - you’re starting to enjoy this game, just a little.
“He doesn’t want you.” His lips have moved, now they’re making their way along your jaw line, pressing warm kisses against your flushed skin. Teeth take hold of your earlobe, and you take in a sharp breath as he tugs it. “You know how he feels about this, Hae …” a tongue follows the curve of your ear, warm and wet. “He doesn’t want you. But I do.”
You feel yourself jump, just a little, when his cool fingers make contact with your warm skin as one of his hands slides under your shirt. You want to push yourself away from him, but your back is pressed up against the wall, and he is pressed firmly up against you. You can’t move. You can’t push him away. And you’re afraid maybe you don’t want to.
Those fingers dance their way teasingly across your stomach, making the muscles underneath quiver. Your breath hitches and you bite back desperately on a moan that’s trying to squeeze its way out of your mouth. You will not give him the satisfaction. You won’t.
“I-I-” your word crumbles and your voice cracks for just a moment, his tongue having slid itself firmly down the beating pulse in your neck. You swallow and force the words from your straining throat. “I told you already,” you murmur, you sound a little more breathless, but that’s all, you’re still swallowing those moans and gasps his fingers and tongue are trying so provocatively to tease out of you. “I love him. I don’t want this.”
You can feel the smirking curve of his lips against your skin, and you’re sure the look on his face, if you could see it now, would be one that said ‘it’s just a matter of time.’
And that’s what you’re afraid of, that it really is, just a matter of time.
* * *
“Why do you want him? You know he won’t love you back, so how can you still love him?” Dark, almost angry eyes searched yours for an answer, but his voice betrayed his confusion.
Shiwon’s question is one you’d asked yourself so many times before. Why did you love him? Why did you still find yourself in love with Hyukjae, when you knew he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, ever love you back? How could you keep loving someone who would never want you?
The only answer you could find was the answer you gave Shiwon.
“You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
* * *
It really is just all a matter of time. It’s not even a week later when you finally give in to Shiwon’s hungry kisses, probing tongue and searching fingers. He’d whispered hot words and sweet nothings, I want you’s and you’re so sexy’s, as his fingers danced and caressed their way over your flushed skin. His hot, heavy kisses made your head spin and the knee that slipped between your legs and pushed up made you tremble. His hand in places his hand should never be took your breath away and made you forget almost everything else but Shiwon.
You’d regretted it afterwards, of course you had. But not enough, it seems. Because here you are, lying naked in Shiwon’s bed for the second time, next to an equally naked Shiwon, whose arms are wrapped tightly, possessively around your waist. You have your back to him, because you think this might help ease your conscience, just a little, if you can’t see his face, if you can’t see that smirk of satisfaction that you know must be curving his lips. Because he has to be satisfied, doesn’t he. He finally got what he had wanted.
His body is pressed close, so impossibly close against your own, you can feel the steady rising and falling of his chest, can feel his beating heart against your back. His legs are tangled with your own, one of his having slipped between yours. You two are well and truly entwined together.
But you don’t like it. It doesn’t leave you feeling like you should. Because this is Shiwon. Shiwon. This is not the boy you’re in love with. Not the boy you want. And yet, here you are anyway, having let him had his way with you, again.
You’re not sure why you let it happen. It couldn’t just be a physical thing, could it? It must be more than that. Maybe it was because he wanted you. He wanted you. He made a point of telling you this. Whispering the words against your lips as he kisses you softly, almost sweetly. Murmuring them into your ear in a hot rush of air. Breathing them out against your skin as his lips trailed down over your stomach. Looking into your eyes, his own dark and full of desire, as he thrust himself into you, hard, almost rough, possessive. Muttering them into your sweaty hair as he holds you close, holds you tight, afterwards. Against your cheek as his fingers stroke affectionately down your arm. When you leave soon after, holding onto your hand as you try to hold back your tears, feeling like such a cheat.
It’s stupid, but you really do feel like you’ve betrayed Hyukjae, in some strange, twisted way. He doesn’t know how you feel, you never told him, and you never plan to. You know what he’d think, how he’d react. You aren’t ever going to tell him, so you have no reason to feel so unfaithful. But you do.
You figure you let Shiwon do all this to you, let him fuck you, because he wanted you, and it felt so good to be wanted, by anyone. To have someone want you, want to touch you and kiss you and take you was too hard to say no to. Because at least someone wanted you. And someone was better than no-one, wasn’t it, even if it was the wrong someone.
“Hae, why are you crying?”
His words startle you. You hadn’t realised you’d been crying, but you have been, for a few minutes now. Crying in shame? In defeat? Why, it was a good question.
You feel him shift a little, pull you closer, feel his fingers run themselves through the sweaty strands of your hair. He’s being so comforting, so affectionate; his voice close to your ear, his breath caresses your face. It’s strange. Why is he being so nice? He’d gotten what he wanted. He’d gotten you, made you give in. So why was he holding on to you still, so possessively? Why was he whispering softly to you and holding you so comfortingly?
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” You feel his lips move against your cheek as he speaks, he’s so close. You tremble. “He has no hold over you. You don’t need to feel bad about it.” He seems to be guessing, but he’s perfectly right. He knows exactly why you’re crying, what you’re really feeling. Since when did Shiwon get to know you so well?
“Why did you do this to me?” Your voice is soft, wavering, thick with tears.
Shiwon’s arms tighten their hold around you. You find yourself wondering if he’ll ever let you go. You can’t see his face now, it’s pressed against the warm skin of your neck, hiding against you. But if you could see it, you would see the jealous look in his eyes as he holds you tightly back against himself; whispers your own words back at you warmly against your skin.
“You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
- end -
rating: R
fandom: Super Junior
pairing: Shiwon/Donghae
summary: He's been trying to seduce you for awhile, it's only a matter of time before you give in.
You find yourself suddenly pressed up against the wall, without any kind of forewarning. The wall feels cool through the thin material of your t-shirt, which is at complete odds to the hot body pressing you against it.
You have no time to protest or even make a sound because a mouth covers your own, hard, and hot, and hungry, kissing you roughly. He pulls back a moment later, and your lips already feel sore and bruised.
His face is still close to your own, too close. His lips are parted and his breath is hot against your skin. When he speaks, you can feel the words as well as hear them. You tremble.
“I want you, Donghae.” His voice is low and thick, full of desire and lust and promises. His dark eyes practically burn into your own. You find yourself trembling against him, scared, nervous. Not just from the sheer amount of desire you can feel pouring from his body; at the way he wants you, one of his warm hands sliding slowly down your bare arm, fingers dancing over your prickling skin. But because, deep down, you think you might want him too, just a little. And you know it’s wrong.
You shake your head, just a little, because his face is so close and you’re not willingly going to close that tiny gap between them. “I’ve told you before, Shiwon …” your voice sounds a little bit strained, a little bit breathless. It makes Shiwon smile.
He just smirks. He’s heard it all before, your protests, your excuses. He’s tried this before, as well, to get you. Every time he has, you’ve pushed him away. But your horror at his sheer audacity fades a little every time, and you’ve been starting to worry, sometimes, that maybe - just maybe - you’re starting to enjoy this game, just a little.
“He doesn’t want you.” His lips have moved, now they’re making their way along your jaw line, pressing warm kisses against your flushed skin. Teeth take hold of your earlobe, and you take in a sharp breath as he tugs it. “You know how he feels about this, Hae …” a tongue follows the curve of your ear, warm and wet. “He doesn’t want you. But I do.”
You feel yourself jump, just a little, when his cool fingers make contact with your warm skin as one of his hands slides under your shirt. You want to push yourself away from him, but your back is pressed up against the wall, and he is pressed firmly up against you. You can’t move. You can’t push him away. And you’re afraid maybe you don’t want to.
Those fingers dance their way teasingly across your stomach, making the muscles underneath quiver. Your breath hitches and you bite back desperately on a moan that’s trying to squeeze its way out of your mouth. You will not give him the satisfaction. You won’t.
“I-I-” your word crumbles and your voice cracks for just a moment, his tongue having slid itself firmly down the beating pulse in your neck. You swallow and force the words from your straining throat. “I told you already,” you murmur, you sound a little more breathless, but that’s all, you’re still swallowing those moans and gasps his fingers and tongue are trying so provocatively to tease out of you. “I love him. I don’t want this.”
You can feel the smirking curve of his lips against your skin, and you’re sure the look on his face, if you could see it now, would be one that said ‘it’s just a matter of time.’
And that’s what you’re afraid of, that it really is, just a matter of time.
* * *
“Why do you want him? You know he won’t love you back, so how can you still love him?” Dark, almost angry eyes searched yours for an answer, but his voice betrayed his confusion.
Shiwon’s question is one you’d asked yourself so many times before. Why did you love him? Why did you still find yourself in love with Hyukjae, when you knew he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, ever love you back? How could you keep loving someone who would never want you?
The only answer you could find was the answer you gave Shiwon.
“You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
* * *
It really is just all a matter of time. It’s not even a week later when you finally give in to Shiwon’s hungry kisses, probing tongue and searching fingers. He’d whispered hot words and sweet nothings, I want you’s and you’re so sexy’s, as his fingers danced and caressed their way over your flushed skin. His hot, heavy kisses made your head spin and the knee that slipped between your legs and pushed up made you tremble. His hand in places his hand should never be took your breath away and made you forget almost everything else but Shiwon.
You’d regretted it afterwards, of course you had. But not enough, it seems. Because here you are, lying naked in Shiwon’s bed for the second time, next to an equally naked Shiwon, whose arms are wrapped tightly, possessively around your waist. You have your back to him, because you think this might help ease your conscience, just a little, if you can’t see his face, if you can’t see that smirk of satisfaction that you know must be curving his lips. Because he has to be satisfied, doesn’t he. He finally got what he had wanted.
His body is pressed close, so impossibly close against your own, you can feel the steady rising and falling of his chest, can feel his beating heart against your back. His legs are tangled with your own, one of his having slipped between yours. You two are well and truly entwined together.
But you don’t like it. It doesn’t leave you feeling like you should. Because this is Shiwon. Shiwon. This is not the boy you’re in love with. Not the boy you want. And yet, here you are anyway, having let him had his way with you, again.
You’re not sure why you let it happen. It couldn’t just be a physical thing, could it? It must be more than that. Maybe it was because he wanted you. He wanted you. He made a point of telling you this. Whispering the words against your lips as he kisses you softly, almost sweetly. Murmuring them into your ear in a hot rush of air. Breathing them out against your skin as his lips trailed down over your stomach. Looking into your eyes, his own dark and full of desire, as he thrust himself into you, hard, almost rough, possessive. Muttering them into your sweaty hair as he holds you close, holds you tight, afterwards. Against your cheek as his fingers stroke affectionately down your arm. When you leave soon after, holding onto your hand as you try to hold back your tears, feeling like such a cheat.
It’s stupid, but you really do feel like you’ve betrayed Hyukjae, in some strange, twisted way. He doesn’t know how you feel, you never told him, and you never plan to. You know what he’d think, how he’d react. You aren’t ever going to tell him, so you have no reason to feel so unfaithful. But you do.
You figure you let Shiwon do all this to you, let him fuck you, because he wanted you, and it felt so good to be wanted, by anyone. To have someone want you, want to touch you and kiss you and take you was too hard to say no to. Because at least someone wanted you. And someone was better than no-one, wasn’t it, even if it was the wrong someone.
“Hae, why are you crying?”
His words startle you. You hadn’t realised you’d been crying, but you have been, for a few minutes now. Crying in shame? In defeat? Why, it was a good question.
You feel him shift a little, pull you closer, feel his fingers run themselves through the sweaty strands of your hair. He’s being so comforting, so affectionate; his voice close to your ear, his breath caresses your face. It’s strange. Why is he being so nice? He’d gotten what he wanted. He’d gotten you, made you give in. So why was he holding on to you still, so possessively? Why was he whispering softly to you and holding you so comfortingly?
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” You feel his lips move against your cheek as he speaks, he’s so close. You tremble. “He has no hold over you. You don’t need to feel bad about it.” He seems to be guessing, but he’s perfectly right. He knows exactly why you’re crying, what you’re really feeling. Since when did Shiwon get to know you so well?
“Why did you do this to me?” Your voice is soft, wavering, thick with tears.
Shiwon’s arms tighten their hold around you. You find yourself wondering if he’ll ever let you go. You can’t see his face now, it’s pressed against the warm skin of your neck, hiding against you. But if you could see it, you would see the jealous look in his eyes as he holds you tightly back against himself; whispers your own words back at you warmly against your skin.
“You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
- end -