L for Lost (oneshot)

Jul 29, 2012 09:39




Nothing changed really. Sungjong was still his bouncy, happy self, clinging onto Woohyun. Myungsoo was still cold faced and quiet, doing everything in his power to be as close to Sungjong as possible, albeit his heart felt broken. Sungyeol and Hoya were worried as usual. Although he clearly knew what was going on, Sunggyu, the ubiquitous leader, understood the awkward situations of his band mates. And Dongwoo was in his own little world, subconsciously understanding the subtle differences of atmosphere around the maknaes.

“Sungyeol hyung, do you hear them?” asked Myungsoo as he stared at the ceiling. There was no answer. “They’re very loud, hyung.” Still no answer. L sighed.

Sungyeol was asleep, and he knew it.

“Harder, hyung!” Sungjong screamed, and not a moment later, a banging was heard between the rooms.

“Fuck, Sungjong… So tight!”

Myungsoo knew who it was. He didn’t even need to hear his voice to know that it was his hated hyung fucking his precious dongsaeng. And as sick as it was, the harsh pants, soft moans, and loud profanities fueled a fire in Myungsoo’s belly that he knew he shouldn’t have.

“Oh God! Right there!” the maknae moaned.

Myungsoo breath hitched, shifting uncomfortably in his bed.

“That feels so good!”

A sneaky hand slipped underneath the elastic band of L’s sweatpants.

“Fuck! Don’t tease!”

Slender fingers and a soft palm pulled and slid across the sensitive skin of Myungsoo’s hard member.

“Fuck! Faster!”

Tears built up in Myungsoo’s eyes as his hand moved faster, faster, matching the rhythm of the creaking bed slamming against the wall.

“Hyung… I’m close…”

Me too, thought Myungsoo, a heady rush of pleasure coursing through his body as his pants and Sungjong’s moan synchronized.

“Woohyun hyung!”

Sungjongie… He fell asleep in sticky mess of his own semen, the result of the sick pleasure that had brought him over the edge as he listened to Sungjong and Woohyun fucking. Would he regret this? Maybe… But he was so lost that he didn’t even care anymore.

He returned home for a day a couple days after this incident.

She was surprised to find him at her doorstep once again. “Did you heal the void?” she asked, but the tears streaks on Myungsoo’s face told her all.

He stepped in and collapsed into loving arms that would caress him in his destroyed state.

“Love is blind,” he whimpered, fresh tears soaking into her blouse. “Love is fucking blind, Mom.”

She just nodded, ignoring the crude profanity her brokenhearted son bit out.

“So you didn’t fill the void?” she asked uncertainly.

Myungsoo took a step back. “What fucking void? The moment I saw Sungjongie, he took my heart, and with it, the void. And then he threw it back in my face and what now? I didn’t want my heart back, Mom! I didn’t want the void to return! There’s nothing I want back from him!”

She set him down on the couch and he hugged a pillow tightly against his chest. “He broke my heart, Mom… There no longer is a void because he shattered my heart.”

Later that night after he had calmed down, Myungsoo sifted through his many photos of Sungjong. There were a couple photos-those memorable moments-with Myungsoo and Sungjong, but the one that intrigued him most was the last picture he’d taken of Sungjong. He’d been too bleary-eyed with bitter and salty tears to snap a clear photo. Nevertheless, the picture of Sungjong couldn’t have been more flawless with him turned slightly to the side, a direct and straightforward indication that Sungjong was turning to walk away from him. The light bounced off of Sungjong’s brown hair, shiny in the sunlight, as the rest of his pale body gleamed radiantly.

Perfection and beauty had never been depicted in such a bittersweet pixilation of colors to Myungsoo before.

It was loud with flashing cameras everywhere. Myungsoo remembered the times when he was on the other end of that flash, but he no longer had the heart to pick up his hobby again. Of course Sungjong sat next to him like always, due to a little bit of bribing the managers and by nearly pushing Dongwoo out of his spot to sit next to Sungjong.

He ignored all the lights and cameras, focusing on the boy next to him. Blatantly staring, Myungsoo knew Sungjong could feel him there, watching him.

“I heard you and Woohyun last night, by the way,” Myungsoo whispered in his ear, leaning closely to him.

Sungjong leaned in. “Good,” he answered bitterly.

L twitched at the harsh tone, but his heart still fluttered at the sound of that sweet voice in his ears. Myungsoo pulled Sungjong close again. “I love you, Sungjong.”

The maknae pulled away and glared at him, gazing straight into his eyes with a cold expression.

“I know…”

His breath caught in his throat, the pain of heartache bit at his heart, and yet, he felt as if he were on air.

As Sungyeol had said before, Myungsoo was lost like a lovesick puppy. The colors were blurred and bright all around him, the younger boy magnified before his eyes. He thought he knew what was happening, but as he watched Woohyun solidify in his vision, touching and hugging his one-sided lover, he was lost. He was lost, wondering why and how he got caught up in a love that ended him in heartache.

“Enjoy the view while you can, bitch,” Woohyun snarled into Myungsoo’s ear as he passed by.

Myungsoo watched Woohyun and Sungjong walk away together, hand in hand, soft lips whispering whatever nonsense into each other’s ears. And yet, while he stared at the couple, he couldn’t help but feel happiness for Sungjong and hatred for Woohyun.

Nevertheless, Kim Myungsoo was lost within a hopeless love.

focus: myungsoo, rating: r, warning: smut, length: oneshot, genre: angst, genre: romance, pairing: myungjong

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