a night filled with wonderful tales.
he carried a samuri sword around with him
one day, as he was flying around in the sky
he met some flying pigs
they laughed and said "haha, look there jonny, a flying frog, how in the hell
the frog takes his sword and says STFU!! and makes bacon out of the flying pigs
the bacon falls from the sky and lands on a sidewalk and a little boy picks it up and eats it
and then the frog comes home to his house
and he finds that there is a fierce dragon inside
startled the dragon is, he blows huge amounts of fire at the frog
the frog dodges the flames and the house starts to burn down
frog starts to run but suddenly...
HE GETS STUCK IN THE DRAGONS HUMONGOUS PILE O' POOP!!!
the dragon, amused by what the frog has ended up in starts cracking up
fire blows everywhere
frog has no idea what to do
frog noticed that the shit is fried from the fire and is nearly as hard as cemente
the dragon picks up the poop
and throws it and it shatters as it hit the ground
frog gets up
charges at the dragon with his sword
and then..
a lion runs by and swallows frog whole
the lion didnt realize that frog had a sword so he tears lion open
but tis still dark
and frog wonders why it is soo darn hot
and then he relizes that the dragon ate the lion which now leaves frog in the belly
frog climbs up halfway the esophagus of the dragon and slices all around the neck
the head falls off
and fire explodes from the dragon's body
the explosion sends the frog into saddams hideout
where he is making love to a goat
and then frogs says "shit."
and saddamn says "dfgadf afasd hdsredg" (call the security)
and a bunch of men run in
and frog says "where is their firearms?"
and all of the sudden
they all blow up
and it wipes out everyones in the hide out
except frog and saddam and the goat
saddam tells the goat to get frog
goat charges at frog
and frog jumps up and tears goat in half
saddam is horrified and sreams
US finds sadam and fires a nuclear bomb at his hidout
frog escapes and starts running
frog hopped a mile away and thought thank god i made i made it out of there in time
and then the bomb hits
and frog dies
the end.
i was sailing along the ocean
this was a long time ago
since it was such a long time ago
we didnt have any motors or crap
just a sail
and so there was a steady wind
and i was sailing smoothly
i was having fun
umm doing stuff making oragami
and then all of a sudden the wind died!
i see this ship out in the distance!
coming towards me
this was peculiar because there was no wind around
but this ship was sailing fast towards me
i soon saw its sail
A PIRATE SHIP!
i remained calm
since im a very brave boy
i knew these pirates would come and steal from me possibly even kill me
they came closer
and closer and closer
the ship came so close....their men started boarding my ship by throwing those rope things and sliding down them
there was about 25 men! i drew my sword
and started fighting them
i killed about 25
all of them i guess
there was one last guy
the captain guy with a wooden leg
and a parrot
and a hook as a hand he had a hat
with a skull on it
and we started fighting and all
and i got stabbed but i was able to fight him off
i cut off his other leg and he fell in the water
and i ran him over with the boat
the end
a very long time ago in a distant and long forgotten land there was a great warrior named achilles the warrior
achilles the warrior was actually the name on his birth certificate
achilles was long thought to be dead after the trojan war but in reality he faked his death with the arrow in the heal so people would forget about his great prowess as a warrior and let him find peace
and making an after story
of what happend to him after all this
for a time achilles went into hiding, but the warrior in him longed to fight and test himself against other warriors
so achilles travelled far and wide across greece and rome and troy searching for warriors to fight
but wenever he fought people he used the altar ego of Bob Koontz because he was, u must remember, thought to be dead by the whole civilized world
but achilles was still the greatest warrior in the land and nobody in the world could challenge him or his sword
achilles sent many men to the banks of the river styx in search of worthy opponents
in frusteration, he went to a pub one day and orderd a pair of 40's
and drank himself silly
when we last left our hero he had drank the night away and currently resides in the glorious hovel of a roman pub
he was awakened the next morning not by his immense hangover but by the tugging at his robes by a small messenger boy not older than 9
the boy told achilles that the love of his life, bresies was still alive and not dead as he had been led to believe
she was currently being held as a slave girl by a group of bandits
the leader of the bandits was a large towering man by the name of talamascus who had been a greek general in the trojan war, but had lost his penis at the hands of hector's sword.
he wanted to keep bresies around so the other bandits would not think he had a missing penis and that he still used it
achilles tracked the bandits across rome and confronted talamascus in a dark alley way
he demanded that bresies, the love of his life, be returned to him
talamascus however would never give up bresies. achilles pulled out his spear and aimed it at talamascus's head, and demanded bresies's return to him
talamascus new he was in no possition to challenge the mighty achilles, and his comrade bandits threw a net over achilles in order to escape his wrath. while talamascus and his bandits made their get-a-way, achiles threw his spear and sliced off telemascus's right ear
by the time he got out of the net, the bandits and talamascus were gone, except for talamascus's right ear that is
achilles persued the bandits relentlessy
he chased them across the agean sea and fought many pirates on the way. achilles needed his bresies, not only cuz she was his gf, but because she made him feel at peace with himself. as good a warrior as achilles was, he was still tormented every nite by the faces of men he had killed. he saw their faces in his dreams. bresies thoe, made these dreams go away cuz she and achilles had sex alot so it took his mind off of fighting.achilles finnaly found the secret bandit base and killed the gaurds with his sword and spear, and made his way to the throne room of talamascus..
but gaurding bresies was not talamascus himself, but a giagantic minatour!achilles fought the minatour with great valor and courage, but the beast was too strong and it beat achilles and broke his legendary armor.achilles barely escaped the bandit base with his life, but his pride was deeply injured. achilles had never tasted defeat before.knowing that he would have to kill the minator to get breseis back, achilles went to train in the art of good fighting with the honorable japanese ninja master, randy fitzsimmons.achilles, who was allready a good warrior as u know, quikly learned how to fight crazy style, which improved his allready flawless skills. and he was back and the bandit base in no time. he stepped out before the minatour and using his crazy skills, jumped onto its back and pierced the evil monsters heart with his new solid gold spear given to him by randy fitzsimmons.talamascus stepped out and ordered all his bandits to kill achilles.more than 100 bandits came at achilles, but despite the odds achilles slew them all easily without breaking a sweat. some cowardly bandits had even tried to shoot achilles with arrows but randy fitzsimmons made achilles new armor that could deflect arrows and stuff like that.talamascus, while still not having a penis, challenged achilles but achilles defeated him quikly and fed his corpse to the dead minatour, u know.and achilles and bresies went away from the base and back to achilles cozy camp place and made love untill the sun cameout. and achilles used up all his trojan her pleasure condoms. theeeeee eeeeeend