Fic: To be a Father 1/1
Fandom: NCIS
Title: To be a Father
Author: Starbucks Sue
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family, Slash (nothing graphic)
Rating: FRM
Characters: Jethro Gibbs/Anthony DiNozzo; Jackson Gibbs
Summary: Jackson Gibbs visits Tony and Gibbs a few days later.
I watched Flesh and Blood last night for the first time and this little bunny kept teasing me until I wrote it down. It's very late here and the story is unbetad so please forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: Up to and including Flesh and Blood.
Disclaimer: NCIS and the characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me and no copyright infringement is intended.
Jackson Gibbs stepped out of Reagan National Airport into the cold January sunshine and glanced around looking for his ride. Leroy had insisted that someone would pick him up this time and hadn’t taken no for an answer so Jack patiently backed down on this occasion, not wanting to cause an argument before he’d even arrived.
In some ways he knew that he and Leroy were too much alike, in others they were the polar opposite. They’d come to blows once a day on average whilst the boy was growing up and time and age didn’t seem to have softened either of their edges. Neither were patient men but on this occasion, Jack was willing to be as patient as possible. Although it was Leroy who had asked him down for a few days, Tony was the reason for the visit and Jack had read between the lines during the short telephone conversation he’d had with his son and had come to realize that he was worried about his younger partner.
Leroy hadn’t told him much, just that Tony’s father had made an unannounced visit a few days previously to the Navy Yard, confronting Tony in the presence of his friends and colleagues and that it had unsettled Tony to the point that he thought that Jack’s company might help. Although the relationship between Jack and Leroy was somewhat strained the relationship between Jack and Tony was different. The two had taken to each other immediately and had quickly bonded during the visits to Stillwater and Jack’s visits to Alexandria, Jack wavered between being fatherly and grandfatherly to the younger man and Tony had soaked up the unfamiliar affection and nurturing like a sponge.
Jack had soon come to realize that where Leroy had been too independent to enjoy being coddled, Tony lapped up the kind of attention he had never received as a child and, having lost his only grandchild, it helped Jack to be able to give his love and attention to the younger man so freely.
“Jackson Gibbs.”
He turned at the sound of his name, recognizing the voice of the NCIS Medical Examiner whose company he’d enjoyed on several occasions during his previous stay over Christmas and he walked over to where Ducky was climbing out of the lovingly restored Morgan, opening the trunk so he could stow his luggage.
“Good to see you, Ducky.” Jack held out his hand and received a firm handshake in return.
“You too, Jackson. I assume Gibbs didn’t go into detail about why he’s invited you down again so soon.” It was said as a statement and Jack grinned as they climbed into the car.
“You know Leroy, explaining is something he expects others to do, not something he does himself,” both men shared a laugh. “All he told me was that Tony was a little unsettled after a visit from his father.” The older man replied with a grimace.
“Yes, well Jethro facilitates and leaves everyone else to do the talking. Young Anthony does seem to have taken his father’s visit hard. Anthony DiNozzo Senior is basically a smug bastard, if you’ll excuse my English, and a con man. Our young friend discovered over the course of two days that his father really wasn’t the man he’d always thought him to be. From what I understand, the majority of the money the family had whilst Tony was a child came from his mother’s side of the family, despite his paternal grandfather building up a substantial business empire, when that started running low DiNozzo Senior married into money where he could and got involved in more than a few dubious business deals.” Ducky stopped and sighed as he pulled out of the airport.
“Anthony’s mother died when he was eight years old and his father’s response was to immediately send him away to boarding schools and summer camps to avoid having to deal with him, so the poor boy rarely saw him. I would hazard a guess that Anthony is already closer to you than he ever was to his own father.” He acknowledged with a quick glance at Jack.
“So Leroy thinks that by inviting me down I can give Tony some of the paternal nurturing that he never received from his father to take his mind of things,” Jack surmised. “You know if what Tony really needs is some attention and affection from his own father, having me around might make him feel worse about things, it may just reinforce what he hasn’t got.”
“Maybe,” Ducky reflected. “Or it may just bring things to a head so he can get whatever he’s stewing over out of his system so he can move on. Anthony is not good at showing or sharing his emotions, any more than Jethro is, having someone who’s completely independent, who he doesn’t have to face every day at work, yet is someone he trusts as a father figure and is accepting of a little paternal affection from may be just what he needs to do that.” Ducky concluded with a knowing grin at the older man.
It wasn’t long before they were pulling up outside the old Victorian house in Alexandria West. Collecting his luggage Jack bid farewell to Ducky, who had to get back to the Navy Yard, and let himself into his son’s house, setting his luggage in the living room and accepting the fact that he would have to sleep on the couch again. He made his way into the kitchen, seeing that the coffee machine had been left ready for a fresh pot and switched it on with a smile of anticipation, pleased that good, strong, coffee was one of the things he did share with his son.
While he was waiting for the coffee to brew he wandered off to use the facilities, returning just as the well used machine had brewed enough for him, pouring himself a mug full of the strong brew he returned to the living room, switched on the television to catch the afternoon news, and made himself at home in the chair which he had found to be more comfortable than the couch to sit on.
Sometime later Jack was woken by the sound of the door and realized that he was sitting in the dark. He shook his head and reached to turn the table lamp on.
“Jack.” Tony’s voice brought him to his feet as he crossed the room, shedding his coat onto the couch on the way.
“Hello, son.” He opened his arms and wrapped them around the younger man’s shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.
Tony came willingly, slipping his arms around Jack’s waist and burying his head on his shoulder. Jack could feel tremors coursing through the man in his arms and stood silently, rubbing a hand up and down the strong back, giving Tony all the time he needed.
Eventually Tony pulled away with a sniff, blinking rapidly to clear the unwanted emotion from his eyes. It’s good to see you again Jack, Jethro told me you were coming and sent me home to keep you company. We’ve practically wrapped the case we were on so he’s just finishing some last minute paperwork before he heads home,” he looked down at the half empty mug of coffee. “I’ll just put some fresh coffee on to brew and get changed.”
“You go and get changed, son, and I’ll make the coffee.” He patted Tony on the back and made his way to the kitchen, pretending not to notice the fresh tears glittering in the young man’s eyes.
He sighed as he went about making a fresh pot of coffee. It was obvious that neither Leroy nor Ducky had underestimated the pain that Tony was feeling over his father’s visit and Jack could see that Tony’s emotional reaction to his own welcome was testament to how much he was still hurting.
He knew from experience that Tony could chatter away for hours without saying a damn thing, but he had to be careful, pushing the young man to talk when he wasn’t ready would only do more damage.
While he was waiting for the coffee, Jack opened the fridge to see if there was anything in there he could use for dinner, finding three steaks marinating he could see that Leroy had anticipated him, salad, jacket potatoes and a sour cream dressing were all easily found which Jack decided would make the fixings for an easy to cook supper whenever Leroy arrived home.
He had just poured the coffees and added the hazelnut creamer to Tony’s when the younger man appeared back in the kitchen, dressed in well worn, comfortable, jeans and a red sweatshirt that Jack knew was Leroy’s from the USMC logo on the front.
They took their drinks into the living room and this time, Jack sat on the couch next to Tony.
“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon Jack, is everything okay?” Tony looked slightly anxious as he voiced the question and Jack was quick to reassure him.
“I’m fine, Tony. After what happened before Christmas I’ve taken Sam on full time so I can get away whenever I want to as well as take things a bit easier. I’m not getting any younger and I’ve got a lot of wasted years to catch up on.” He finished sadly.
“You’re here because of me, aren’t you?” Tony stated quietly, staring at the floor. His shoulders were slumped and to Jack, he looked the picture of misery.
“Leroy said you’d had a rough case with your Dad showing up,” he started carefully, not wanting to spook the younger man, he knew of Tony’s penchant for running when things got to be too much for him to handle.
Tony sat quietly for a few minutes and Jack didn’t push. Eventually Tony sighed and took a few mouthfuls of his coffee before speaking.
“Jack, you’re a father. You’re a businessman who lost his wife and got left with a son to raise, but you didn’t send him away to relatives or farm him out to boarding schools and summer camps so you didn’t have to deal with him, did you.” It was a rhetorical question and he knew Tony already knew the answer so he remained quiet, intently watching Tony as he sorted through his thoughts.
“Even before my mother died he didn’t really want anything to do with me. I don’t even remember him being around when I was really small. I think he was gone before I got up in the morning and arrived home after I was in bed. Once I started school I had to report to him each evening before dinner, telling him what I’d achieved while I fixed his drink, I’ve hated the smell of Macallan 18 ever since,” he trailed off, taking another mouthful of his coffee. “He was never satisfied with anything I ever did, it was never good enough, from my reading and writing in first grade to joining the Police, I was always a disappointment.
When I saw him the other day I challenged him about it, he just kept making excuses, he said that I had it wrong but he never did anything to prove it, even then. When I told him that I needed a closer relationship with him after my mother’s death he brushed it off, didn’t even try to make any excuses, it was like I just didn’t matter.”
He slammed the mug down on the coffee table and stood suddenly, walking to the window and staring out, arms wrapped protectively around him.
“You know, even when my mother was alive he never stepped in, never stopped her from becoming an alcoholic, dressing her son up in a sailor suit and parading him off in front of her friends and making him give piano recitals. I mean, would you have left a small child alone with an alcoholic to look after him?” He turned and looked at Jack pointedly, this time requiring an answer.
“No, son, I wouldn’t. Even back when Leroy was a small boy it wouldn’t have been done.”
“He hugged me and told me that he loved me when he said goodbye,” Tony whispered. “I just stood there, at first just hoping he would let go of me and then just wishing he would go,” he stopped and took in a deep, shaky breath. “I felt nothing at first and then as he walked out I just wished that he’d hugged me and told me that he loved me when I was a kid, when it would have mattered. It meant nothing Jack, it just made me feel cold, and sad, and I wanted to cry for that little boy who just wanted his father’s love,” he broke off, staring at Jack with such desolation on his face that Jack felt himself tearing up as he stood and walked over to where Tony was standing.
“Your father let you down, son, so did your mother, but you can’t change what’s in the past. Only time will tell if your father is willing to try and salvage a relationship with you, I know you’d be willing. But his loss is my gain, regardless of what happens between you and your father in the future just remember that you’re still my son and always will be, just as Leroy is.
He took a further step forward and pulled Tony into his arms, releasing a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding when Tony finally relaxed and melted into the embrace. He could feel Tony’s body trembling and dropped a light kiss on the dark head buried on his shoulder. The body in his arms hitched with a quiet sob and suddenly he could feel hot tears on his neck as the neglected child finally grieved for all that he had lost and all that he had never had.
In truth, Jack realized, it was as if Tony had lost both parents the day his mother had died. The fact that his father was still there and alive had only served to keep the wound from healing and the child had grown into an adult keeping the bleeding wound hidden from everyone…until now, when the father’s return in front of his partner and friends had cruelly and forcefully exposed it, leaving the child lost and hurting so much that the man he had become didn’t know to deal with the pain.
Tony desperately needed to find some closure and maybe the confrontation which had taken place would be a step in the right direction. Tony had been able to face his father and get answers for some of the man’s actions; Jack just hoped it would be enough to allow him to start healing.
As the quiet sobs trailed off, Tony became heavier in his arms and he guessed the exhausted younger man was almost asleep. Guiding Tony over to the couch he sat, pulling one of the couch cushions onto his lap and laying Tony down, encouraging him to swing his legs up so he was stretched out with his head on the cushion. Within seconds he was asleep and Jack sat patiently, carding his hands through Tony’s hair in a way that he knew soothed the young man.
Jack was almost asleep himself when he heard the sound of the truck pulling into the drive. He heard Leroy enter the house and take off his coat before walking through into the silent living room. He smiled at his father before taking a seat on the coffee table in front of his sleeping partner.
“Thanks, Dad. How’s he doing?” He asked quietly, taking in the reddened eyelids and tear stained cheeks.
“He’s confused and hurting, but I think he’s got a lot off his chest. He needed the perspective of a father to see whether his opinions of his own father’s actions were right,” he replied softly. “Two widowed fathers, both businessmen, both with young sons, two very different reactions,” he finished sadly.
“I was lucky, Dad, I realize that now. You and I may not have seen eye to eye most of the time, especially after Mom died, but at least you were there for me, you looked after me the best you could and the most important thing is that I never doubted that you loved me.” He bent over and placed a soft kiss on the forehead of the sleeping man in front of him.
Sleepy blue-green eyes blinked lazily as Tony woke, suddenly realizing the scrutiny of the older men.
“Hey, you’re home,” he said round a yawn, sitting up just as his stomach growled loudly causing them all to laugh.
“Okay, sounds like it’s time for dinner. You go and get washed up while I put those steaks and potatoes on, dinner shouldn’t be long.” Jack stood and made his way to the kitchen, smiling as he watched his son pull Tony in for a warm hug and a long kiss.
As he puttered around the kitchen he reflected on the two men he loved equally as sons. Both had been hurt badly in the past but they had bounced back and found happiness with each other. He’d watched them over the course of the past year, from the shy beginnings when their relationship had started soon after their return from Israel. They had come up to tell him in person, not wanting either fledgling relationship to be damaged, but Jack had seen immediately that they were good for each other and that Leroy was as happy and relaxed as he had been with Shannon. Despite Stillwater being something of a backwater town, Jack was a man of the world, his years in the Air Force had opened his mind to a lot of things and he was no homophobe, if Leroy was happy with Tony then he was happy for them. It helped that Tony was such a lovable person and he and Jack had already taken to each other at their first meeting, if anything it was Tony who had strengthened the bond between father and son and Jack was only too happy to be able to give something back.
They were soon sitting to eat their meal, all of them hungry once the smell of the steaks and potatoes had filled the house, they chatted companionably about everything except for Tony’s father. By the time they had cleared up, all of them were yawning, even Tony. Expecting to be given bedding to sleep on the couch Jack was surprised when he was led up to the attic.
At the door of the attic bedroom he stood and stared in surprise before walking further into the room. Three weeks ago, over Christmas, the room had still been recognizably Kelly’s, with pink painted walls and a Strawberry Shortcake border, curtains and bedspread. Now the room was painted in a tranquil shade of pale green, the moss green curtains and comforter brought warmth to the room and there was a matching moss green rug on the newly polished wooden floor. The stained solid pine bed, cupboards and chest were obviously new.
“We had been trying to get this done in time for Christmas but work got in the way. Thought you needed a decent bed to sleep in when you come, Dad, and you can leave some stuff here in future so you don’t have to keep bringing luggage with you each time you visit.”
“Sounds as if you want me to visit more often,” Jack replied with a chuckle, still trying to get over the meaning of them going to the trouble to make him a room of his own.
“We’d love you have you visit more often, Dad, you’re always welcome here.”
Jack turned, feeling tears prick the back of his eyelids, and found himself drawn into his son’s arms. He hugged back tightly before pulling away. “Just as either or both of you are always welcome in Stillwater.” He replied with a smile.
“Night, Dad. See you for breakfast.” He turned to slip out of the room.
“Night, Leroy. Goodnight, Tony,” he replied turning to the younger man who was still standing in front of him.
To Jack’s surprise, Tony caught him in a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks, Dad, goodnight,” he whispered shyly before diving out of the door, leaving Jack blinking back tears once again.
As he climbed into bed, Jack reflected on how lucky he was and how fortunate that a case had required the NCIS team to visit Stillwater all those months ago. He’d lost his son for many years but was making up for it now and had gained a son in the process. Tony was so easy to love and now that the anger had abated he felt only sadness for Anthony DiNozzo Senior, because the man was missing out on one of the most precious gifts that life had to offer. The love of a child.
Title: To be a Father
Author: Starbucks Sue
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family, Slash (nothing graphic)
Rating: FRM
Characters: Jethro Gibbs/Anthony DiNozzo; Jackson Gibbs
Summary: Jackson Gibbs visits Tony and Gibbs a few days later.
I watched Flesh and Blood last night for the first time and this little bunny kept teasing me until I wrote it down. It's very late here and the story is unbetad so please forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: Up to and including Flesh and Blood.
Disclaimer: NCIS and the characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me and no copyright infringement is intended.
Jackson Gibbs stepped out of Reagan National Airport into the cold January sunshine and glanced around looking for his ride. Leroy had insisted that someone would pick him up this time and hadn’t taken no for an answer so Jack patiently backed down on this occasion, not wanting to cause an argument before he’d even arrived.
In some ways he knew that he and Leroy were too much alike, in others they were the polar opposite. They’d come to blows once a day on average whilst the boy was growing up and time and age didn’t seem to have softened either of their edges. Neither were patient men but on this occasion, Jack was willing to be as patient as possible. Although it was Leroy who had asked him down for a few days, Tony was the reason for the visit and Jack had read between the lines during the short telephone conversation he’d had with his son and had come to realize that he was worried about his younger partner.
Leroy hadn’t told him much, just that Tony’s father had made an unannounced visit a few days previously to the Navy Yard, confronting Tony in the presence of his friends and colleagues and that it had unsettled Tony to the point that he thought that Jack’s company might help. Although the relationship between Jack and Leroy was somewhat strained the relationship between Jack and Tony was different. The two had taken to each other immediately and had quickly bonded during the visits to Stillwater and Jack’s visits to Alexandria, Jack wavered between being fatherly and grandfatherly to the younger man and Tony had soaked up the unfamiliar affection and nurturing like a sponge.
Jack had soon come to realize that where Leroy had been too independent to enjoy being coddled, Tony lapped up the kind of attention he had never received as a child and, having lost his only grandchild, it helped Jack to be able to give his love and attention to the younger man so freely.
“Jackson Gibbs.”
He turned at the sound of his name, recognizing the voice of the NCIS Medical Examiner whose company he’d enjoyed on several occasions during his previous stay over Christmas and he walked over to where Ducky was climbing out of the lovingly restored Morgan, opening the trunk so he could stow his luggage.
“Good to see you, Ducky.” Jack held out his hand and received a firm handshake in return.
“You too, Jackson. I assume Gibbs didn’t go into detail about why he’s invited you down again so soon.” It was said as a statement and Jack grinned as they climbed into the car.
“You know Leroy, explaining is something he expects others to do, not something he does himself,” both men shared a laugh. “All he told me was that Tony was a little unsettled after a visit from his father.” The older man replied with a grimace.
“Yes, well Jethro facilitates and leaves everyone else to do the talking. Young Anthony does seem to have taken his father’s visit hard. Anthony DiNozzo Senior is basically a smug bastard, if you’ll excuse my English, and a con man. Our young friend discovered over the course of two days that his father really wasn’t the man he’d always thought him to be. From what I understand, the majority of the money the family had whilst Tony was a child came from his mother’s side of the family, despite his paternal grandfather building up a substantial business empire, when that started running low DiNozzo Senior married into money where he could and got involved in more than a few dubious business deals.” Ducky stopped and sighed as he pulled out of the airport.
“Anthony’s mother died when he was eight years old and his father’s response was to immediately send him away to boarding schools and summer camps to avoid having to deal with him, so the poor boy rarely saw him. I would hazard a guess that Anthony is already closer to you than he ever was to his own father.” He acknowledged with a quick glance at Jack.
“So Leroy thinks that by inviting me down I can give Tony some of the paternal nurturing that he never received from his father to take his mind of things,” Jack surmised. “You know if what Tony really needs is some attention and affection from his own father, having me around might make him feel worse about things, it may just reinforce what he hasn’t got.”
“Maybe,” Ducky reflected. “Or it may just bring things to a head so he can get whatever he’s stewing over out of his system so he can move on. Anthony is not good at showing or sharing his emotions, any more than Jethro is, having someone who’s completely independent, who he doesn’t have to face every day at work, yet is someone he trusts as a father figure and is accepting of a little paternal affection from may be just what he needs to do that.” Ducky concluded with a knowing grin at the older man.
It wasn’t long before they were pulling up outside the old Victorian house in Alexandria West. Collecting his luggage Jack bid farewell to Ducky, who had to get back to the Navy Yard, and let himself into his son’s house, setting his luggage in the living room and accepting the fact that he would have to sleep on the couch again. He made his way into the kitchen, seeing that the coffee machine had been left ready for a fresh pot and switched it on with a smile of anticipation, pleased that good, strong, coffee was one of the things he did share with his son.
While he was waiting for the coffee to brew he wandered off to use the facilities, returning just as the well used machine had brewed enough for him, pouring himself a mug full of the strong brew he returned to the living room, switched on the television to catch the afternoon news, and made himself at home in the chair which he had found to be more comfortable than the couch to sit on.
Sometime later Jack was woken by the sound of the door and realized that he was sitting in the dark. He shook his head and reached to turn the table lamp on.
“Jack.” Tony’s voice brought him to his feet as he crossed the room, shedding his coat onto the couch on the way.
“Hello, son.” He opened his arms and wrapped them around the younger man’s shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.
Tony came willingly, slipping his arms around Jack’s waist and burying his head on his shoulder. Jack could feel tremors coursing through the man in his arms and stood silently, rubbing a hand up and down the strong back, giving Tony all the time he needed.
Eventually Tony pulled away with a sniff, blinking rapidly to clear the unwanted emotion from his eyes. It’s good to see you again Jack, Jethro told me you were coming and sent me home to keep you company. We’ve practically wrapped the case we were on so he’s just finishing some last minute paperwork before he heads home,” he looked down at the half empty mug of coffee. “I’ll just put some fresh coffee on to brew and get changed.”
“You go and get changed, son, and I’ll make the coffee.” He patted Tony on the back and made his way to the kitchen, pretending not to notice the fresh tears glittering in the young man’s eyes.
He sighed as he went about making a fresh pot of coffee. It was obvious that neither Leroy nor Ducky had underestimated the pain that Tony was feeling over his father’s visit and Jack could see that Tony’s emotional reaction to his own welcome was testament to how much he was still hurting.
He knew from experience that Tony could chatter away for hours without saying a damn thing, but he had to be careful, pushing the young man to talk when he wasn’t ready would only do more damage.
While he was waiting for the coffee, Jack opened the fridge to see if there was anything in there he could use for dinner, finding three steaks marinating he could see that Leroy had anticipated him, salad, jacket potatoes and a sour cream dressing were all easily found which Jack decided would make the fixings for an easy to cook supper whenever Leroy arrived home.
He had just poured the coffees and added the hazelnut creamer to Tony’s when the younger man appeared back in the kitchen, dressed in well worn, comfortable, jeans and a red sweatshirt that Jack knew was Leroy’s from the USMC logo on the front.
They took their drinks into the living room and this time, Jack sat on the couch next to Tony.
“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon Jack, is everything okay?” Tony looked slightly anxious as he voiced the question and Jack was quick to reassure him.
“I’m fine, Tony. After what happened before Christmas I’ve taken Sam on full time so I can get away whenever I want to as well as take things a bit easier. I’m not getting any younger and I’ve got a lot of wasted years to catch up on.” He finished sadly.
“You’re here because of me, aren’t you?” Tony stated quietly, staring at the floor. His shoulders were slumped and to Jack, he looked the picture of misery.
“Leroy said you’d had a rough case with your Dad showing up,” he started carefully, not wanting to spook the younger man, he knew of Tony’s penchant for running when things got to be too much for him to handle.
Tony sat quietly for a few minutes and Jack didn’t push. Eventually Tony sighed and took a few mouthfuls of his coffee before speaking.
“Jack, you’re a father. You’re a businessman who lost his wife and got left with a son to raise, but you didn’t send him away to relatives or farm him out to boarding schools and summer camps so you didn’t have to deal with him, did you.” It was a rhetorical question and he knew Tony already knew the answer so he remained quiet, intently watching Tony as he sorted through his thoughts.
“Even before my mother died he didn’t really want anything to do with me. I don’t even remember him being around when I was really small. I think he was gone before I got up in the morning and arrived home after I was in bed. Once I started school I had to report to him each evening before dinner, telling him what I’d achieved while I fixed his drink, I’ve hated the smell of Macallan 18 ever since,” he trailed off, taking another mouthful of his coffee. “He was never satisfied with anything I ever did, it was never good enough, from my reading and writing in first grade to joining the Police, I was always a disappointment.
When I saw him the other day I challenged him about it, he just kept making excuses, he said that I had it wrong but he never did anything to prove it, even then. When I told him that I needed a closer relationship with him after my mother’s death he brushed it off, didn’t even try to make any excuses, it was like I just didn’t matter.”
He slammed the mug down on the coffee table and stood suddenly, walking to the window and staring out, arms wrapped protectively around him.
“You know, even when my mother was alive he never stepped in, never stopped her from becoming an alcoholic, dressing her son up in a sailor suit and parading him off in front of her friends and making him give piano recitals. I mean, would you have left a small child alone with an alcoholic to look after him?” He turned and looked at Jack pointedly, this time requiring an answer.
“No, son, I wouldn’t. Even back when Leroy was a small boy it wouldn’t have been done.”
“He hugged me and told me that he loved me when he said goodbye,” Tony whispered. “I just stood there, at first just hoping he would let go of me and then just wishing he would go,” he stopped and took in a deep, shaky breath. “I felt nothing at first and then as he walked out I just wished that he’d hugged me and told me that he loved me when I was a kid, when it would have mattered. It meant nothing Jack, it just made me feel cold, and sad, and I wanted to cry for that little boy who just wanted his father’s love,” he broke off, staring at Jack with such desolation on his face that Jack felt himself tearing up as he stood and walked over to where Tony was standing.
“Your father let you down, son, so did your mother, but you can’t change what’s in the past. Only time will tell if your father is willing to try and salvage a relationship with you, I know you’d be willing. But his loss is my gain, regardless of what happens between you and your father in the future just remember that you’re still my son and always will be, just as Leroy is.
He took a further step forward and pulled Tony into his arms, releasing a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding when Tony finally relaxed and melted into the embrace. He could feel Tony’s body trembling and dropped a light kiss on the dark head buried on his shoulder. The body in his arms hitched with a quiet sob and suddenly he could feel hot tears on his neck as the neglected child finally grieved for all that he had lost and all that he had never had.
In truth, Jack realized, it was as if Tony had lost both parents the day his mother had died. The fact that his father was still there and alive had only served to keep the wound from healing and the child had grown into an adult keeping the bleeding wound hidden from everyone…until now, when the father’s return in front of his partner and friends had cruelly and forcefully exposed it, leaving the child lost and hurting so much that the man he had become didn’t know to deal with the pain.
Tony desperately needed to find some closure and maybe the confrontation which had taken place would be a step in the right direction. Tony had been able to face his father and get answers for some of the man’s actions; Jack just hoped it would be enough to allow him to start healing.
As the quiet sobs trailed off, Tony became heavier in his arms and he guessed the exhausted younger man was almost asleep. Guiding Tony over to the couch he sat, pulling one of the couch cushions onto his lap and laying Tony down, encouraging him to swing his legs up so he was stretched out with his head on the cushion. Within seconds he was asleep and Jack sat patiently, carding his hands through Tony’s hair in a way that he knew soothed the young man.
Jack was almost asleep himself when he heard the sound of the truck pulling into the drive. He heard Leroy enter the house and take off his coat before walking through into the silent living room. He smiled at his father before taking a seat on the coffee table in front of his sleeping partner.
“Thanks, Dad. How’s he doing?” He asked quietly, taking in the reddened eyelids and tear stained cheeks.
“He’s confused and hurting, but I think he’s got a lot off his chest. He needed the perspective of a father to see whether his opinions of his own father’s actions were right,” he replied softly. “Two widowed fathers, both businessmen, both with young sons, two very different reactions,” he finished sadly.
“I was lucky, Dad, I realize that now. You and I may not have seen eye to eye most of the time, especially after Mom died, but at least you were there for me, you looked after me the best you could and the most important thing is that I never doubted that you loved me.” He bent over and placed a soft kiss on the forehead of the sleeping man in front of him.
Sleepy blue-green eyes blinked lazily as Tony woke, suddenly realizing the scrutiny of the older men.
“Hey, you’re home,” he said round a yawn, sitting up just as his stomach growled loudly causing them all to laugh.
“Okay, sounds like it’s time for dinner. You go and get washed up while I put those steaks and potatoes on, dinner shouldn’t be long.” Jack stood and made his way to the kitchen, smiling as he watched his son pull Tony in for a warm hug and a long kiss.
As he puttered around the kitchen he reflected on the two men he loved equally as sons. Both had been hurt badly in the past but they had bounced back and found happiness with each other. He’d watched them over the course of the past year, from the shy beginnings when their relationship had started soon after their return from Israel. They had come up to tell him in person, not wanting either fledgling relationship to be damaged, but Jack had seen immediately that they were good for each other and that Leroy was as happy and relaxed as he had been with Shannon. Despite Stillwater being something of a backwater town, Jack was a man of the world, his years in the Air Force had opened his mind to a lot of things and he was no homophobe, if Leroy was happy with Tony then he was happy for them. It helped that Tony was such a lovable person and he and Jack had already taken to each other at their first meeting, if anything it was Tony who had strengthened the bond between father and son and Jack was only too happy to be able to give something back.
They were soon sitting to eat their meal, all of them hungry once the smell of the steaks and potatoes had filled the house, they chatted companionably about everything except for Tony’s father. By the time they had cleared up, all of them were yawning, even Tony. Expecting to be given bedding to sleep on the couch Jack was surprised when he was led up to the attic.
At the door of the attic bedroom he stood and stared in surprise before walking further into the room. Three weeks ago, over Christmas, the room had still been recognizably Kelly’s, with pink painted walls and a Strawberry Shortcake border, curtains and bedspread. Now the room was painted in a tranquil shade of pale green, the moss green curtains and comforter brought warmth to the room and there was a matching moss green rug on the newly polished wooden floor. The stained solid pine bed, cupboards and chest were obviously new.
“We had been trying to get this done in time for Christmas but work got in the way. Thought you needed a decent bed to sleep in when you come, Dad, and you can leave some stuff here in future so you don’t have to keep bringing luggage with you each time you visit.”
“Sounds as if you want me to visit more often,” Jack replied with a chuckle, still trying to get over the meaning of them going to the trouble to make him a room of his own.
“We’d love you have you visit more often, Dad, you’re always welcome here.”
Jack turned, feeling tears prick the back of his eyelids, and found himself drawn into his son’s arms. He hugged back tightly before pulling away. “Just as either or both of you are always welcome in Stillwater.” He replied with a smile.
“Night, Dad. See you for breakfast.” He turned to slip out of the room.
“Night, Leroy. Goodnight, Tony,” he replied turning to the younger man who was still standing in front of him.
To Jack’s surprise, Tony caught him in a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks, Dad, goodnight,” he whispered shyly before diving out of the door, leaving Jack blinking back tears once again.
As he climbed into bed, Jack reflected on how lucky he was and how fortunate that a case had required the NCIS team to visit Stillwater all those months ago. He’d lost his son for many years but was making up for it now and had gained a son in the process. Tony was so easy to love and now that the anger had abated he felt only sadness for Anthony DiNozzo Senior, because the man was missing out on one of the most precious gifts that life had to offer. The love of a child.