Fic: Senior's Story 1/1
Title: Senior’s Story
Author: StarbucksSue
Author’s Notes: Sequel to First Christmas, which was written for Day 22 of the Tibbs_Yuletide Advent Calendar I wasn't intending to write a sequel, but when I finished the first story my thoughts turned to DiNozzo Senior and the possible reasons he is the way he is. I'm still not totally happy with the ending though!
Warnings: Nothing explicit
Spoilers: Vague references to all eight seasons
Characters/Pairings: Anthony DiNozzo Sr, Jackson Gibbs, Gibbs/DiNozzo
Rating: PG
Genre/Category: Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Family
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS or any of its characters, I just like to play with them once in a while. So far, they haven’t complained.
Summary: Jackson Gibbs had become less and less impressed the more he learned about Anthony DiNozzo Senior, but that was until he heard the other man’s story.
The link to First Christmas is here
Jackson Gibbs stirred as a noise interrupted his nap. With Christmas over, Gibbs and Tony had popped out to the shops after lunch and the warmth from the wood fire burning merrily in the grate and the unusual silence of the house had lulled him into a comfortable doze.
He sighed as the knock at the door came again. Picking up the newspaper from where it had fallen on his chest, he folded it and placed it on the coffee table with his glasses he stood stiffly, his bones feeling all of their eighty-odd years after sitting in one place for so long.
It was only mid afternoon and already starting to get dark, the clouds, heavy once again with snow, making it seem even later than it was. He flicked the hall light on as he passed before staring out of the glass at the man standing the other side.
Even as he opened the door he knew that the man looked vaguely familiar, but for a moment he couldn’t place him. He was around his own age, too old to be from NCIS but dressed too smartly to be one of Gibbs’ neighbors, besides, he had some kind of overnight bag with him by the look of things but when he smiled Jack realized who it was from the old photo that Tony had on the bookcase.
“Good afternoon, can I help you?” He asked, feigning innocence.
“Good afternoon, this is Agent Gibbs’ house isn’t it?” Jack nodded. “I was hoping to see my son, Anthony DiNozzo, I believe he’s staying here for the holidays.”
Not just the holidays, Jack thought with an inward smile opening the door wider, glad that DiNozzo Senior had arrived while the boys were still out.
“Come in out of the cold,” he invited courteously. “I’m Jackson Gibbs, Leroy’s father. There’s a nice fire burning in the grate, come through and warm up. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“I’d like that, thank you. Isn’t Junior here?” He asked as he took his coat off and hung it on the coat rack.
“He and Leroy went out a little earlier, I’m expecting them back any time now,” Jack replied, turning to go back into the living room, not waiting to see whether the other man was following him or not.
He went through to the kitchen, switching on the coffee machine which he’d filled earlier in readiness for Gibbs’ return.
“So what brings you to DC, Mr DiNozzo. I heard you’d escaped to the sun for the holiday, Hawaii wasn’t it?” Jack asked, trying to make polite small talk and work out why Tony’s father was here now.
“Yes I spent a couple of days with a friend over Christmas but wanted to get back and see Junior before I have to fly off again, you know how it is with business, it waits for no man.” Anthony replied turning on the charm.
“I thought that was time, Mr DiNozzo. And speaking of time, I’m surprised you found the time to come and see your son, from what I’ve heard you’ve never really had time for him in the past.” Jack commented bluntly, coming back into the living room with two mugs to find Anthony warming himself in front of the fire and staring at the single, lonely, brightly wrapped parcel sitting under the Christmas tree.
“Ah, yes, it is true that I didn’t get the chance to spend as much time with Junior as I would have liked, pressures of business you see,” he explained. The insincere smile and fake charm may have won over some people but Jack wasn’t fooled.
“What kind of man sends a grieving eight year old off to boarding school right after his mother’s death, what business could be more important than your own flesh and blood?” Jack put his mug down with a bang. “Do you not realize just how disappointed Tony was when you bailed on him this Christmas? He was so excited to be finally spending a Christmas with you and yes, that parcel under the tree is your present. What kind of father are you that you would rather spend Christmas doing business than spending the time with your own child? We’re none of us getting any younger and it’s a dangerous job that the boys do, you know.” Jack ran out of breath and sat and stared the man in front of him.
Anthony’s shoulders sagged and he suddenly looked ten years older. He sighed and as he looked up Jack could see that his mask was gone and instead of the brash, overconfident man who had walked through the door ten minutes previously sat a sad old man, full of regrets.
“You’re right. I’m not much of a father at all,” he replied in a soft voice. “I’ve never been very good with children and I’m not any better now that my own child is an adult, he’s like a stranger to me.” He stopped and stared at his hands, his discomfort obvious. He took a deep breath and looked up, right at Jack.
“When I accepted the offer to go to Maui with a Roger I thought it was because he had business to discuss, my financial state hasn’t been so good of late so I jumped at the chance. When we arrived we were picked up by his son and taken to their villa where his wife, daughter-in-law, daughter and son-in-law and his grandchildren were waiting. He hadn’t invited me for business but because he felt sorry for me because he thought I was spending Christmas alone, that I had no family to share the holiday with. He opened up his home and family to me.
At first I played along, but I couldn’t continue the charade in the face of their kindness, so after the children went to bed I came clean and told them the truth. They told me exactly what they thought of me and, having seen Roger with his children and grandchildren, it made me realize just what I’d done, what I’d missed on all these years and just how much I had let my son down.” He stopped to pull in a shaky breath. “I booked myself on the first flight back to New York and then got the train down to DC this morning.” He picked up his own mug and took a sip of the cooling coffee. Jack watched and listened, softened up a little by the honesty he saw in the man.
“You know I never really spent much time alone with Junior,’ DiNozzo continued. ‘”His mother didn’t work and she was the one who looked after him, when we spent time together it was as a family, doing something Maria arranged. He was such an easygoing little kid but he changed after Maria’s death, I didn’t recognize my own kid and I didn’t know how to deal with him,” he finished with a sigh.
“So you sent him away so you didn’t have to, that was your answer? Never mind that the child had just lost his mother, you uprooted him from his home and his father too, everything that may have given him some security after such a traumatic loss.” Jack shook his head in disgust. “Do you not know that he hates being called Junior?”
Anthony looked at him in surprise.
“He doesn’t? He’s never mentioned it,” he stopped in sudden realization and sighed. “No, that’s not true, he has asked me more than once not to call him Junior in front of other people, I’ve just not been listening properly. The rare times we did spend together he talked so much I just tended to let his voice wash over me, I’ve never really listened to my son,” he confessed sadly.
“I never really knew my own father very well either,” he reminisced. “My parents were immigrants and came over from Italy with very little to their name. My father worked all hours and my mother raised me and my brother practically single handed. Father was someone who came with us to mass and had dinner with us on Sunday. We were born in New York, lived in Little Italy all my childhood, we were poor and there were so many families crowded in the small apartments around ours, but it was a happy time. We lived above an Italian restaurant and my mother worked there while we were at school and sometimes in the evenings as well so my brother and I were left on our own to fend for ourselves much of the time. When my father’s boss died he left the business to my father and suddenly there was more money, but he needed help. I left school that year and started working for him and we moved out to Long Island,” he shook his head and laughed. “We went from a cramped two bedroom apartment to a house on Meadow Lane in Southampton Village set in three acres of land, there was a sea view from the front of the house and a lake at the bottom of the yard, the house had eight bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms and my father took on an Italian cook and a Spanish housekeeper. We didn’t know what had hit us!
For me, life was wonderful, I was 19 and the world was my oyster, I was good looking and charming, I travelled the world on business and never had a problem finding women to have a good time with. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, I was having way too much fun to settle down with any one person, I spent around fifteen years visiting the European capitals and romancing European women,” he stopped for breath and took a swig of the now almost cold coffee.
“However, everything changed in 1968. It was a particularly bad winter and I was away in London on business over Christmas, I met Maria at a New Year’s party and was hooked, it was love at first sight, she had soft curly auburn hair and beautifully expressive blue-green eyes. At 22 she was more than ten years younger than I was but that didn’t worry her, she preferred more mature men. We did some sightseeing around London and she took me to meet her brother Clive. Her family was rich, they had a mews house in London, where she and Clive were living, the family home was a country manor in Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire. I was only supposed to be in London for a week but I extended it, explaining to my father that the acquaintance I met thought it would be beneficial to meet some other business connections he had. However, the following week I received a telephone call from our housekeeper to say that my parents and brother had been killed following a car accident. A snowstorm had hit suddenly as they were driving home and their car had been involved in an accident with another vehicle, my mother had been killed outright, my father died while they were trying to get him out of the car and my brother died later at the hospital.” He broke off, the pain of the memory clear on his face. Jack let him have a moment before gently asking him to continue.
“Maria insisted in flying home with me. Once the funerals were over she decided she didn’t want to go home again. She’d fallen in love with the house and its location as well as with me and both the cook and housekeeper adored her on sight. I knew I loved her, from the minute I’d met her I didn’t even notice other women so I asked her to marry me a month to the day that I met her. Of course she said yes and as soon as she told her parents they were on the first flight out so they could meet me and see where I lived, they insisted in planning and paying for our wedding. Her father flew home again after a week but her mother stayed longer to game arrangements and then came back out again a month before we were married, she was their only daughter and naturally they wanted the kind of big wedding that was appropriate for their social circle, even if their friends wouldn’t be there to see the wedding itself,” he smiled again and Jack was glad to see that some of his memories were happy ones. “My parents had been very close to the local priest, my father donated regularly to the church and my mother did voluntary work for the poor so Father Joseph was only too happy to assist in whatever arrangements the Paddington’s wanted for our wedding.
We were married at The Sacred Hearts of Mary and Joseph Catholic Church on 12 June 1968, Maria’s brothers Clive and Paul and Paul’s wife Rachel, flew over with a few other relatives so Maria got her fairytale wedding and her family all went home reassured that Maria was happy and would be looked after in the manner to which she was accustomed.” He stopped again, placing the now empty coffee mug on the table, seemingly finished with his story. For Jack it wasn’t enough.
“This story doesn’t have a fairytale ending though does it, Anthony, where did it all go wrong?” Jack asked quietly. Anthony stood and moved to look out of the window.
“Maria fell pregnant in February 1969, we were thrilled but she lost the baby at three months. We were both devastated and I hit the bottle and stayed away more than I should. Eventually Maria threatened to leave me and go back to England which brought me back on track. She fell pregnant again in October 1970 and once again lost the baby, the doctors told her then that she might never carry a child to full term but she was determined and in December 1971 she discovered she was pregnant again. It was a terrible time, especially the first three months. She wanted to carry on as normal but I didn’t want her going out or doing anything, I practically had her under house arrest and the housekeeper and cook were under threat not to allow her to do anything. By the time Tony was born in July 1972 she almost hated me, but it worked and although he was early he was healthy. He was our little miracle and we were overjoyed, this perfect little boy, he was so loved and we vowed to give him everything he ever wanted.
Of course things didn’t quite go to plan though and my business was failing, Maria had money and I shamelessly drew on it to bail the business out and pay the expenses on the house and for the staff so no-one ever knew how bad things were. Things improved financially and everything went well for the next five years until Maria fell pregnant again, of course having Tony she wouldn’t allow him to think that she wasn’t well, he was already in pre-school as she was insistent he have the opportunity to meet other children his own age, so she still took him there, went to her church meetings, etc, but didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant again. This time she got to four months before she started having agonizing pains late one night and started bleeding.
She lost the baby and this time she just shut down, she just couldn’t get over the loss of the child. She started drinking heavily and wouldn’t let Tony out of her sight, the poor child must have found her behavior suffocating. She’d started him on piano lessons at the age of three and would dress him up in little sailor suits and have him play at her church teas and fundraisers. He really was a cute little boy, but I hardly saw him. I spent so much time trying to keep the business afloat and was away a lot, luckily our housekeeper kept a good eye on both Maria and Tony and stepped in with the boy when Maria was too intoxicated to look after him properly, the cook adored him as well and would distract him by allowing him to help her prepare his favorite meals which we didn’t have often because Maria preferred her English cuisine to Italian, so it was a treat for him.
It was just par for the course that I was on business in London in February 1980 when I got another call from the housekeeper telling me that Maria had been involved in an accident coming back from a church charity luncheon, thank goodness Tony was in school at the time. Ironically she’d been hit by a drunk driver but she hadn’t been drinking herself, we’d recently been on holiday as a family and she’d seemed so much happier that I really hoped she’d turned the corner. She was still alive when they pulled her out of the car. I flew back straight away but she died of her injuries a few days later,” he stopped again and Jack waited silently, not even sure if the other man knew where he was or who he was talking to, so wrapped up in the past as he was. It was a few minutes before Anthony turned, casting his eyes around the room. His gaze fell on the bookshelves where several photos sat. He stared for several seconds at one, a close up of Tony and Gibbs, happy and relaxed and obviously very much in love, he nodded to himself and a smile of realization and approval spread over his face, Jack let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding at the obvious acceptance. Anthony moved back to sit down, talking quietly.
“Maria was the love of my life, none of my subsequent wives have ever been able to come anywhere close, they were just warm bodies to share the cold nights with, as well as being wealthy women who I could charm to invest in the business. Looking back now I am ashamed of my behavior. Maria knew me well though, unbeknown to me her brother Clive helped her draw up her will so that none of her money came to me. There were two funds for Tony, managed by his Uncle Clive, a lump sum for when he reached thirty and another fund for his schooling. I was almost broke at the time and had to let both the cook and the housekeeper go, so there was no-one to look after Tony, that’s when I sent him to St Thomas Moore School in Connecticut, which Father Joseph recommended, at least his fees there would be paid and I hoped to shield him from the problems I was having so he would never need to know what was happening at home.
He was such a beautiful child, in most ways he took after me but he has his mother’s eyes and it was so difficult to look into those eyes and know that I’d failed him just like I’d failed everyone else in my life. He’s probably better off without me, Jack,” he said as he rose. “If I leave now he need never know I was…”
“No.” The shout came from the kitchen and startled both men as Tony himself burst into the living room, closely followed by Gibbs. “No, Dad, please don’t go.”
They stood face to face, neither speaking for a moment. Tears glittered in the younger man’s eyes as he stared at his father.
“How long have you been there?” Anthony asked finally once the shock had worn off a little.
“Long enough. Please, Dad, stay,” he begged. He shook his head in confusion. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this,” he whispered.
“You were never meant to know how bad things were. I didn’t want you to know what a fraud and a failure your old man really was.”
“Didn’t you ever watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Dad?” Tony asked with a shaky chuckle. “No man is a failure who has friends. Mom and I watched it the last Christmas she was alive, we made caramel popcorn together and sat and watched it by candlelight and the lights on the Christmas tree. Whenever I watch it now I remember how happy she was that day, she hadn’t been drinking and she said that 1980 was a new decade and a new start and that it was going to be such a wonderful year. I wasn’t sure whether to believe her but when we flew out to Hawaii for that fishing holiday in January and had such a fantastic time, Mom didn’t drink at all and you were both so happy, I really believed that she was right,” his voice faltered and then choked to a halt as he drew in a ragged breath. “Hell, Dad, I never even realized that things were so bad, I just put it down to you not caring any more. Oh why didn’t you tell me?” he asked again, his breath catching in a sob, feeling Gibbs’ hand squeeze his shoulder in silent support.
“I wanted you to enjoy your childhood with your friends, I didn’t want you to worry about me or what was happening at home. The real problem came when you wanted to go to college, your mother was specific which college you went to, she wanted you to be successful but not the way I did, our dream was for you to study at Harvard and make a success of your grandfather’s business and turn it around. That was why I had no money to pay for your schooling at Ohio and your Uncle Clive offered to loan you the money, I asked him never to chase you for the money though, I promised that I’d pay it back when I could but I’ve never been able to. I don’t know if he still remembers.”
“Uncle Clive died last year, Dad. He left his fortune to cousin Crispian who found the IOU and demanded I pay it all back with interest.” Tony explained with a shaky laugh.
“You have to pay it all back, with interest, how long is he giving you?” Senior looked shocked.
“His lawyer demanded instant payment. I used the rest of Mom’s money and I gave up my apartment and Gibbs loaned me the rest so it’s fully paid. It doesn’t matter, Dad, none of it matters now.” He reached out hesitantly and found himself pulled into his fathers’ arms, tears falling freely now.
As Jack watched he saw the look which passed between the two other men over the head of the young man in Anthony’s arms. He smiled to himself, pleased with the way things had turned out. He hadn’t anticipated Tony and Gibbs coming back when they did and overhearing the conversation but, in his eyes, it couldn’t have worked out any better. Tony had needed to hear the things his father had said and Anthony had needed to come clean, perhaps now father and son would get the chance to reconnect with each other as he had done with his own son.
As Tony pulled back from his father and stepped back into Gibbs’ waiting arms Jack got up with a chuckle. “I think this calls for something stronger than coffee. You’ll stay for New Year won’t you, Anthony? I think we all have something to celebrate this time.”
END
Author: StarbucksSue
Author’s Notes: Sequel to First Christmas, which was written for Day 22 of the Tibbs_Yuletide Advent Calendar I wasn't intending to write a sequel, but when I finished the first story my thoughts turned to DiNozzo Senior and the possible reasons he is the way he is. I'm still not totally happy with the ending though!
Warnings: Nothing explicit
Spoilers: Vague references to all eight seasons
Characters/Pairings: Anthony DiNozzo Sr, Jackson Gibbs, Gibbs/DiNozzo
Rating: PG
Genre/Category: Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Family
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS or any of its characters, I just like to play with them once in a while. So far, they haven’t complained.
Summary: Jackson Gibbs had become less and less impressed the more he learned about Anthony DiNozzo Senior, but that was until he heard the other man’s story.
The link to First Christmas is here
Jackson Gibbs stirred as a noise interrupted his nap. With Christmas over, Gibbs and Tony had popped out to the shops after lunch and the warmth from the wood fire burning merrily in the grate and the unusual silence of the house had lulled him into a comfortable doze.
He sighed as the knock at the door came again. Picking up the newspaper from where it had fallen on his chest, he folded it and placed it on the coffee table with his glasses he stood stiffly, his bones feeling all of their eighty-odd years after sitting in one place for so long.
It was only mid afternoon and already starting to get dark, the clouds, heavy once again with snow, making it seem even later than it was. He flicked the hall light on as he passed before staring out of the glass at the man standing the other side.
Even as he opened the door he knew that the man looked vaguely familiar, but for a moment he couldn’t place him. He was around his own age, too old to be from NCIS but dressed too smartly to be one of Gibbs’ neighbors, besides, he had some kind of overnight bag with him by the look of things but when he smiled Jack realized who it was from the old photo that Tony had on the bookcase.
“Good afternoon, can I help you?” He asked, feigning innocence.
“Good afternoon, this is Agent Gibbs’ house isn’t it?” Jack nodded. “I was hoping to see my son, Anthony DiNozzo, I believe he’s staying here for the holidays.”
Not just the holidays, Jack thought with an inward smile opening the door wider, glad that DiNozzo Senior had arrived while the boys were still out.
“Come in out of the cold,” he invited courteously. “I’m Jackson Gibbs, Leroy’s father. There’s a nice fire burning in the grate, come through and warm up. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“I’d like that, thank you. Isn’t Junior here?” He asked as he took his coat off and hung it on the coat rack.
“He and Leroy went out a little earlier, I’m expecting them back any time now,” Jack replied, turning to go back into the living room, not waiting to see whether the other man was following him or not.
He went through to the kitchen, switching on the coffee machine which he’d filled earlier in readiness for Gibbs’ return.
“So what brings you to DC, Mr DiNozzo. I heard you’d escaped to the sun for the holiday, Hawaii wasn’t it?” Jack asked, trying to make polite small talk and work out why Tony’s father was here now.
“Yes I spent a couple of days with a friend over Christmas but wanted to get back and see Junior before I have to fly off again, you know how it is with business, it waits for no man.” Anthony replied turning on the charm.
“I thought that was time, Mr DiNozzo. And speaking of time, I’m surprised you found the time to come and see your son, from what I’ve heard you’ve never really had time for him in the past.” Jack commented bluntly, coming back into the living room with two mugs to find Anthony warming himself in front of the fire and staring at the single, lonely, brightly wrapped parcel sitting under the Christmas tree.
“Ah, yes, it is true that I didn’t get the chance to spend as much time with Junior as I would have liked, pressures of business you see,” he explained. The insincere smile and fake charm may have won over some people but Jack wasn’t fooled.
“What kind of man sends a grieving eight year old off to boarding school right after his mother’s death, what business could be more important than your own flesh and blood?” Jack put his mug down with a bang. “Do you not realize just how disappointed Tony was when you bailed on him this Christmas? He was so excited to be finally spending a Christmas with you and yes, that parcel under the tree is your present. What kind of father are you that you would rather spend Christmas doing business than spending the time with your own child? We’re none of us getting any younger and it’s a dangerous job that the boys do, you know.” Jack ran out of breath and sat and stared the man in front of him.
Anthony’s shoulders sagged and he suddenly looked ten years older. He sighed and as he looked up Jack could see that his mask was gone and instead of the brash, overconfident man who had walked through the door ten minutes previously sat a sad old man, full of regrets.
“You’re right. I’m not much of a father at all,” he replied in a soft voice. “I’ve never been very good with children and I’m not any better now that my own child is an adult, he’s like a stranger to me.” He stopped and stared at his hands, his discomfort obvious. He took a deep breath and looked up, right at Jack.
“When I accepted the offer to go to Maui with a Roger I thought it was because he had business to discuss, my financial state hasn’t been so good of late so I jumped at the chance. When we arrived we were picked up by his son and taken to their villa where his wife, daughter-in-law, daughter and son-in-law and his grandchildren were waiting. He hadn’t invited me for business but because he felt sorry for me because he thought I was spending Christmas alone, that I had no family to share the holiday with. He opened up his home and family to me.
At first I played along, but I couldn’t continue the charade in the face of their kindness, so after the children went to bed I came clean and told them the truth. They told me exactly what they thought of me and, having seen Roger with his children and grandchildren, it made me realize just what I’d done, what I’d missed on all these years and just how much I had let my son down.” He stopped to pull in a shaky breath. “I booked myself on the first flight back to New York and then got the train down to DC this morning.” He picked up his own mug and took a sip of the cooling coffee. Jack watched and listened, softened up a little by the honesty he saw in the man.
“You know I never really spent much time alone with Junior,’ DiNozzo continued. ‘”His mother didn’t work and she was the one who looked after him, when we spent time together it was as a family, doing something Maria arranged. He was such an easygoing little kid but he changed after Maria’s death, I didn’t recognize my own kid and I didn’t know how to deal with him,” he finished with a sigh.
“So you sent him away so you didn’t have to, that was your answer? Never mind that the child had just lost his mother, you uprooted him from his home and his father too, everything that may have given him some security after such a traumatic loss.” Jack shook his head in disgust. “Do you not know that he hates being called Junior?”
Anthony looked at him in surprise.
“He doesn’t? He’s never mentioned it,” he stopped in sudden realization and sighed. “No, that’s not true, he has asked me more than once not to call him Junior in front of other people, I’ve just not been listening properly. The rare times we did spend together he talked so much I just tended to let his voice wash over me, I’ve never really listened to my son,” he confessed sadly.
“I never really knew my own father very well either,” he reminisced. “My parents were immigrants and came over from Italy with very little to their name. My father worked all hours and my mother raised me and my brother practically single handed. Father was someone who came with us to mass and had dinner with us on Sunday. We were born in New York, lived in Little Italy all my childhood, we were poor and there were so many families crowded in the small apartments around ours, but it was a happy time. We lived above an Italian restaurant and my mother worked there while we were at school and sometimes in the evenings as well so my brother and I were left on our own to fend for ourselves much of the time. When my father’s boss died he left the business to my father and suddenly there was more money, but he needed help. I left school that year and started working for him and we moved out to Long Island,” he shook his head and laughed. “We went from a cramped two bedroom apartment to a house on Meadow Lane in Southampton Village set in three acres of land, there was a sea view from the front of the house and a lake at the bottom of the yard, the house had eight bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms and my father took on an Italian cook and a Spanish housekeeper. We didn’t know what had hit us!
For me, life was wonderful, I was 19 and the world was my oyster, I was good looking and charming, I travelled the world on business and never had a problem finding women to have a good time with. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, I was having way too much fun to settle down with any one person, I spent around fifteen years visiting the European capitals and romancing European women,” he stopped for breath and took a swig of the now almost cold coffee.
“However, everything changed in 1968. It was a particularly bad winter and I was away in London on business over Christmas, I met Maria at a New Year’s party and was hooked, it was love at first sight, she had soft curly auburn hair and beautifully expressive blue-green eyes. At 22 she was more than ten years younger than I was but that didn’t worry her, she preferred more mature men. We did some sightseeing around London and she took me to meet her brother Clive. Her family was rich, they had a mews house in London, where she and Clive were living, the family home was a country manor in Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire. I was only supposed to be in London for a week but I extended it, explaining to my father that the acquaintance I met thought it would be beneficial to meet some other business connections he had. However, the following week I received a telephone call from our housekeeper to say that my parents and brother had been killed following a car accident. A snowstorm had hit suddenly as they were driving home and their car had been involved in an accident with another vehicle, my mother had been killed outright, my father died while they were trying to get him out of the car and my brother died later at the hospital.” He broke off, the pain of the memory clear on his face. Jack let him have a moment before gently asking him to continue.
“Maria insisted in flying home with me. Once the funerals were over she decided she didn’t want to go home again. She’d fallen in love with the house and its location as well as with me and both the cook and housekeeper adored her on sight. I knew I loved her, from the minute I’d met her I didn’t even notice other women so I asked her to marry me a month to the day that I met her. Of course she said yes and as soon as she told her parents they were on the first flight out so they could meet me and see where I lived, they insisted in planning and paying for our wedding. Her father flew home again after a week but her mother stayed longer to game arrangements and then came back out again a month before we were married, she was their only daughter and naturally they wanted the kind of big wedding that was appropriate for their social circle, even if their friends wouldn’t be there to see the wedding itself,” he smiled again and Jack was glad to see that some of his memories were happy ones. “My parents had been very close to the local priest, my father donated regularly to the church and my mother did voluntary work for the poor so Father Joseph was only too happy to assist in whatever arrangements the Paddington’s wanted for our wedding.
We were married at The Sacred Hearts of Mary and Joseph Catholic Church on 12 June 1968, Maria’s brothers Clive and Paul and Paul’s wife Rachel, flew over with a few other relatives so Maria got her fairytale wedding and her family all went home reassured that Maria was happy and would be looked after in the manner to which she was accustomed.” He stopped again, placing the now empty coffee mug on the table, seemingly finished with his story. For Jack it wasn’t enough.
“This story doesn’t have a fairytale ending though does it, Anthony, where did it all go wrong?” Jack asked quietly. Anthony stood and moved to look out of the window.
“Maria fell pregnant in February 1969, we were thrilled but she lost the baby at three months. We were both devastated and I hit the bottle and stayed away more than I should. Eventually Maria threatened to leave me and go back to England which brought me back on track. She fell pregnant again in October 1970 and once again lost the baby, the doctors told her then that she might never carry a child to full term but she was determined and in December 1971 she discovered she was pregnant again. It was a terrible time, especially the first three months. She wanted to carry on as normal but I didn’t want her going out or doing anything, I practically had her under house arrest and the housekeeper and cook were under threat not to allow her to do anything. By the time Tony was born in July 1972 she almost hated me, but it worked and although he was early he was healthy. He was our little miracle and we were overjoyed, this perfect little boy, he was so loved and we vowed to give him everything he ever wanted.
Of course things didn’t quite go to plan though and my business was failing, Maria had money and I shamelessly drew on it to bail the business out and pay the expenses on the house and for the staff so no-one ever knew how bad things were. Things improved financially and everything went well for the next five years until Maria fell pregnant again, of course having Tony she wouldn’t allow him to think that she wasn’t well, he was already in pre-school as she was insistent he have the opportunity to meet other children his own age, so she still took him there, went to her church meetings, etc, but didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant again. This time she got to four months before she started having agonizing pains late one night and started bleeding.
She lost the baby and this time she just shut down, she just couldn’t get over the loss of the child. She started drinking heavily and wouldn’t let Tony out of her sight, the poor child must have found her behavior suffocating. She’d started him on piano lessons at the age of three and would dress him up in little sailor suits and have him play at her church teas and fundraisers. He really was a cute little boy, but I hardly saw him. I spent so much time trying to keep the business afloat and was away a lot, luckily our housekeeper kept a good eye on both Maria and Tony and stepped in with the boy when Maria was too intoxicated to look after him properly, the cook adored him as well and would distract him by allowing him to help her prepare his favorite meals which we didn’t have often because Maria preferred her English cuisine to Italian, so it was a treat for him.
It was just par for the course that I was on business in London in February 1980 when I got another call from the housekeeper telling me that Maria had been involved in an accident coming back from a church charity luncheon, thank goodness Tony was in school at the time. Ironically she’d been hit by a drunk driver but she hadn’t been drinking herself, we’d recently been on holiday as a family and she’d seemed so much happier that I really hoped she’d turned the corner. She was still alive when they pulled her out of the car. I flew back straight away but she died of her injuries a few days later,” he stopped again and Jack waited silently, not even sure if the other man knew where he was or who he was talking to, so wrapped up in the past as he was. It was a few minutes before Anthony turned, casting his eyes around the room. His gaze fell on the bookshelves where several photos sat. He stared for several seconds at one, a close up of Tony and Gibbs, happy and relaxed and obviously very much in love, he nodded to himself and a smile of realization and approval spread over his face, Jack let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding at the obvious acceptance. Anthony moved back to sit down, talking quietly.
“Maria was the love of my life, none of my subsequent wives have ever been able to come anywhere close, they were just warm bodies to share the cold nights with, as well as being wealthy women who I could charm to invest in the business. Looking back now I am ashamed of my behavior. Maria knew me well though, unbeknown to me her brother Clive helped her draw up her will so that none of her money came to me. There were two funds for Tony, managed by his Uncle Clive, a lump sum for when he reached thirty and another fund for his schooling. I was almost broke at the time and had to let both the cook and the housekeeper go, so there was no-one to look after Tony, that’s when I sent him to St Thomas Moore School in Connecticut, which Father Joseph recommended, at least his fees there would be paid and I hoped to shield him from the problems I was having so he would never need to know what was happening at home.
He was such a beautiful child, in most ways he took after me but he has his mother’s eyes and it was so difficult to look into those eyes and know that I’d failed him just like I’d failed everyone else in my life. He’s probably better off without me, Jack,” he said as he rose. “If I leave now he need never know I was…”
“No.” The shout came from the kitchen and startled both men as Tony himself burst into the living room, closely followed by Gibbs. “No, Dad, please don’t go.”
They stood face to face, neither speaking for a moment. Tears glittered in the younger man’s eyes as he stared at his father.
“How long have you been there?” Anthony asked finally once the shock had worn off a little.
“Long enough. Please, Dad, stay,” he begged. He shook his head in confusion. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this,” he whispered.
“You were never meant to know how bad things were. I didn’t want you to know what a fraud and a failure your old man really was.”
“Didn’t you ever watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Dad?” Tony asked with a shaky chuckle. “No man is a failure who has friends. Mom and I watched it the last Christmas she was alive, we made caramel popcorn together and sat and watched it by candlelight and the lights on the Christmas tree. Whenever I watch it now I remember how happy she was that day, she hadn’t been drinking and she said that 1980 was a new decade and a new start and that it was going to be such a wonderful year. I wasn’t sure whether to believe her but when we flew out to Hawaii for that fishing holiday in January and had such a fantastic time, Mom didn’t drink at all and you were both so happy, I really believed that she was right,” his voice faltered and then choked to a halt as he drew in a ragged breath. “Hell, Dad, I never even realized that things were so bad, I just put it down to you not caring any more. Oh why didn’t you tell me?” he asked again, his breath catching in a sob, feeling Gibbs’ hand squeeze his shoulder in silent support.
“I wanted you to enjoy your childhood with your friends, I didn’t want you to worry about me or what was happening at home. The real problem came when you wanted to go to college, your mother was specific which college you went to, she wanted you to be successful but not the way I did, our dream was for you to study at Harvard and make a success of your grandfather’s business and turn it around. That was why I had no money to pay for your schooling at Ohio and your Uncle Clive offered to loan you the money, I asked him never to chase you for the money though, I promised that I’d pay it back when I could but I’ve never been able to. I don’t know if he still remembers.”
“Uncle Clive died last year, Dad. He left his fortune to cousin Crispian who found the IOU and demanded I pay it all back with interest.” Tony explained with a shaky laugh.
“You have to pay it all back, with interest, how long is he giving you?” Senior looked shocked.
“His lawyer demanded instant payment. I used the rest of Mom’s money and I gave up my apartment and Gibbs loaned me the rest so it’s fully paid. It doesn’t matter, Dad, none of it matters now.” He reached out hesitantly and found himself pulled into his fathers’ arms, tears falling freely now.
As Jack watched he saw the look which passed between the two other men over the head of the young man in Anthony’s arms. He smiled to himself, pleased with the way things had turned out. He hadn’t anticipated Tony and Gibbs coming back when they did and overhearing the conversation but, in his eyes, it couldn’t have worked out any better. Tony had needed to hear the things his father had said and Anthony had needed to come clean, perhaps now father and son would get the chance to reconnect with each other as he had done with his own son.
As Tony pulled back from his father and stepped back into Gibbs’ waiting arms Jack got up with a chuckle. “I think this calls for something stronger than coffee. You’ll stay for New Year won’t you, Anthony? I think we all have something to celebrate this time.”
END