Top 10 reasons I absolutely can't stand Twilight.
Some people might disagree. I get that. I kindly ask them to not click on my pretty Lj-cut. It's to keep people away from things that can be considered a direct hit on their sensibilities.
1. Bella should be the new name for Mary Sue. Same thing. Edward? Pffft. Hello, Gary Stu! They are the most sickeningly perfect characters ever to be created.
2. No matter what you say clumsy is NOT a character flaw. And, Edward doesn't even have a silly character flaw to his name. He's often described as perfect, which just goes to prove my point. Besides, he sparkles. I've heard of HOT vampires before, hell, I was a Buffy fan ...but SPARKLES? Bitch, plz.
3. Hello, one description of Bella's noisy truck is MORE THAN ENOUGHT, thnx. Same with the volleyball thing. ONCE IS ENOUGH.
4. Is there an actual conflict in this story? Like, does anything actually happen? We don't even get conflict in the falling in love part. They just KNOW it, right away. Pfffft. Boring.
5. And, why we're at it ...why exactly do they love each other? He's HOT and she's ...eh, new? I mean, HELLO, I KIND OF NEED A REASON HERE. Either that, or good writing to make me forget I DON'T HAVE ONE.
6. Does Bella actually do anything other than stand around and wait to be saved?
7. PURPLE PROSE. PURPLE PROSE. PURPLE PROSE. I mean, hello, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SHOW, DON'T TELL?
8. Seventeen year olds can be corny, I admit that. But this book takes corny to a whole new level. In a way, I think it's unfair to teenage boys everywhere whose potential girlfriends will read this and hope to hear Edward's puke-worthy likes come out of their mouth. But they'll never be as perfect - they don't sparkle!
9. There is such a thing as too much adjectives. When you're describing your main character as seraphic, you've reached that point. (AND IT WAS EDWARD SHE DESCRIBED LIKE THAT, NOT BELLA!!!)
10. Wish fulfillment! Wish fulfillment!
1. Bella should be the new name for Mary Sue. Same thing. Edward? Pffft. Hello, Gary Stu! They are the most sickeningly perfect characters ever to be created.
2. No matter what you say clumsy is NOT a character flaw. And, Edward doesn't even have a silly character flaw to his name. He's often described as perfect, which just goes to prove my point. Besides, he sparkles. I've heard of HOT vampires before, hell, I was a Buffy fan ...but SPARKLES? Bitch, plz.
3. Hello, one description of Bella's noisy truck is MORE THAN ENOUGHT, thnx. Same with the volleyball thing. ONCE IS ENOUGH.
4. Is there an actual conflict in this story? Like, does anything actually happen? We don't even get conflict in the falling in love part. They just KNOW it, right away. Pfffft. Boring.
5. And, why we're at it ...why exactly do they love each other? He's HOT and she's ...eh, new? I mean, HELLO, I KIND OF NEED A REASON HERE. Either that, or good writing to make me forget I DON'T HAVE ONE.
6. Does Bella actually do anything other than stand around and wait to be saved?
7. PURPLE PROSE. PURPLE PROSE. PURPLE PROSE. I mean, hello, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SHOW, DON'T TELL?
8. Seventeen year olds can be corny, I admit that. But this book takes corny to a whole new level. In a way, I think it's unfair to teenage boys everywhere whose potential girlfriends will read this and hope to hear Edward's puke-worthy likes come out of their mouth. But they'll never be as perfect - they don't sparkle!
9. There is such a thing as too much adjectives. When you're describing your main character as seraphic, you've reached that point. (AND IT WAS EDWARD SHE DESCRIBED LIKE THAT, NOT BELLA!!!)
10. Wish fulfillment! Wish fulfillment!