Strength is nothing more than how well you hide the pain.
"Be strong now
Because things will get better.
It might be stormy now,
But it can't rain forever."
I Love that saying, i've been repeating it to myself a lot lately because a lot of things have been going down hill as of recently.
I don't know how much more of this pain, i can take... i've been through this all before so i know i can survive it. But sometimes its really hard just to wake up in the morning. It seems that i can only find peace and happiness when i'm sleeping, and at times i don't ever want to wake up.. My schooling seems to be turning around.. i got a C in biology class which i'm really happy about.. though i got D's in all my other courses but that's better than an F i guess..
Things with James aren't as good as they used to be. I hardly ever get to see him anymore. I feel utterly pushed aside though i know that it's my own selfishness thats making me feel this way.. I don't like to share espically when it comes to my boyfriend and i found out just recently that he could be leaving me to join the military. I have no quarell with the military. It's just that he's been the only good thing to happen to me for a long time and now he's going away.. just like everyone else that's ever mattered to me... The situation with his ex hasn't gotten any better either....
My home life is okay, i'm moving out soon but i'll hardly have any money to survive off of when i move out.. I have been working my ass off looking for a job. But i haven't found any luck at all. I even swallowed my pride and applied for a job at Hollister and Abercrombie & fitch...Gawd, i hate the way those places smell...I swear if i get a job there i'm going to have to take a shower and change my clothes immediatly when i get home XP
I must have really pissed someone off because it's been nothing but stress and drama recently... Which is something i really don't need ontop of all the pain and hurt i've had to deal (and is still dealing with) when i was a child..I wonder when i'll ever get a chance to see the sun again.....
For now i'll end it here because things are starting to get alittle angsty and emo and i don't want to bore anyone with all that. Because i'm sure they've heard enough of it already for one lifetime. But i will leave you all with another qoute i've been living by for a very very long time..
"I'm going to smile like
nothings wrong,
Talk like everythings
perfect,
Act like its all
a dream,
And pretend its
not hurting me."
Because things will get better.
It might be stormy now,
But it can't rain forever."
I Love that saying, i've been repeating it to myself a lot lately because a lot of things have been going down hill as of recently.
I don't know how much more of this pain, i can take... i've been through this all before so i know i can survive it. But sometimes its really hard just to wake up in the morning. It seems that i can only find peace and happiness when i'm sleeping, and at times i don't ever want to wake up.. My schooling seems to be turning around.. i got a C in biology class which i'm really happy about.. though i got D's in all my other courses but that's better than an F i guess..
Things with James aren't as good as they used to be. I hardly ever get to see him anymore. I feel utterly pushed aside though i know that it's my own selfishness thats making me feel this way.. I don't like to share espically when it comes to my boyfriend and i found out just recently that he could be leaving me to join the military. I have no quarell with the military. It's just that he's been the only good thing to happen to me for a long time and now he's going away.. just like everyone else that's ever mattered to me... The situation with his ex hasn't gotten any better either....
My home life is okay, i'm moving out soon but i'll hardly have any money to survive off of when i move out.. I have been working my ass off looking for a job. But i haven't found any luck at all. I even swallowed my pride and applied for a job at Hollister and Abercrombie & fitch...Gawd, i hate the way those places smell...I swear if i get a job there i'm going to have to take a shower and change my clothes immediatly when i get home XP
I must have really pissed someone off because it's been nothing but stress and drama recently... Which is something i really don't need ontop of all the pain and hurt i've had to deal (and is still dealing with) when i was a child..I wonder when i'll ever get a chance to see the sun again.....
For now i'll end it here because things are starting to get alittle angsty and emo and i don't want to bore anyone with all that. Because i'm sure they've heard enough of it already for one lifetime. But i will leave you all with another qoute i've been living by for a very very long time..
"I'm going to smile like
nothings wrong,
Talk like everythings
perfect,
Act like its all
a dream,
And pretend its
not hurting me."