01 ☄ [videooooo]
[The vidfeed pops on, displaying a youngish man with really crazy-messy black hair and glasses. He's peering into the screen, poking it with what looks like a stick of some kind at random intervals. He just looks very confused and irked, really. He's muttering as he fiddles with it.]
Godricdamned muggley compeeyutars and their crazy buttons and skriins and shite... Is this even ON yet?
...I would like to believe this tiny blinking light is a yes.
HALLO OUT THERE, OTHER PEOPLE. If you haven't had the singularly spectacular experience of meeting me just yet, then I am James Potter, damned glad to meet you. Probably. Most likely. [He nods.] Yes. ANYWAY. I have learned some things since coming to this strange future with all the teknullygee and what have you. [He starts ticking them off on his fingers.]
Firstly. Muggle cinema has lied to me about a great many things involving aliens, compeeyutars, and such all. This makes me rather sad as I have invested so much time and love into it.
Secondly. Apparently SOME people around here [He clears his throat loudly, and GLARES over at the other side of the room.] don't know basic manners and HYGIENE. And then, they do not appreciate help in rectifying their smell.
Thirdly. Although I thought this place to be a great and Gryffy place, it obviously has lesser standards than previously believed, as there is now a Slythergit among us. If any of you see someone with an insanely large, protuberant nose and enough grease in his hair to drown a giant squid, please please please avoid at all costs. You've been warned.
Fourthly. Lily Evans is beautiful, stunning, and a gorgeous paprika goddess in whatever time period or place she happens to go. Of course, this last bit is just conclusive evidence as I've held this hypothesis for several years already.
And with all that now imparted to the masses, thus making you all slightly more informed than you were a few moments ago, I now have to do [Dramatic sigh and fake sob goes here.] homework for the various strange muggley classes. I miss Remus already.
[Aaaaaaaand scene.]
Godricdamned muggley compeeyutars and their crazy buttons and skriins and shite... Is this even ON yet?
...I would like to believe this tiny blinking light is a yes.
HALLO OUT THERE, OTHER PEOPLE. If you haven't had the singularly spectacular experience of meeting me just yet, then I am James Potter, damned glad to meet you. Probably. Most likely. [He nods.] Yes. ANYWAY. I have learned some things since coming to this strange future with all the teknullygee and what have you. [He starts ticking them off on his fingers.]
Firstly. Muggle cinema has lied to me about a great many things involving aliens, compeeyutars, and such all. This makes me rather sad as I have invested so much time and love into it.
Secondly. Apparently SOME people around here [He clears his throat loudly, and GLARES over at the other side of the room.] don't know basic manners and HYGIENE. And then, they do not appreciate help in rectifying their smell.
Thirdly. Although I thought this place to be a great and Gryffy place, it obviously has lesser standards than previously believed, as there is now a Slythergit among us. If any of you see someone with an insanely large, protuberant nose and enough grease in his hair to drown a giant squid, please please please avoid at all costs. You've been warned.
Fourthly. Lily Evans is beautiful, stunning, and a gorgeous paprika goddess in whatever time period or place she happens to go. Of course, this last bit is just conclusive evidence as I've held this hypothesis for several years already.
And with all that now imparted to the masses, thus making you all slightly more informed than you were a few moments ago, I now have to do [Dramatic sigh and fake sob goes here.] homework for the various strange muggley classes. I miss Remus already.
[Aaaaaaaand scene.]