Fic: Past, Present, and Future (1/4)

[melyanna]

Title: Past, Present, and Future
Authors: miera_c and melyanna
Rating: PG
Summary: Elizabeth and John are reunited in time for Solstice, but a surprise from the past complicates matters. Meanwhile, Kate and Sarah face questions about the future.


Technically, Elizabeth was meeting with Daniel, Teyla, and David Heightmeyer on the final preparations for the arrival of envoys after Solstice, but she found herself frequently distracted by the windows along one wall of her study. As the meeting dragged on, snowflakes began to flutter past, the first snow of the season. She was supposed to be far more serene than that, but something about the thought of the first new snow made her a little giddy.

She worked to contain herself, even though what they were doing was terribly dull. Once the initial excitement of her proposal regarding the gunpowder had died down, the mundane issues of how many people were coming, from where, and where to put them all had consumed much of her time. When there was a knock on the door, she was so relieved that she nearly sighed. "Come in," she called, not looking up as she wrote.

"Majesty, the ambassador from Iolan," Captain Lorne said, having opened the door slightly.

"Please, show him in," Elizabeth replied.

Henry Hayes was a familiar sight in Atlantis, but Elizabeth was surprised to see him. "My lord," she said, "I thought we would not see you until after Solstice."

"I had intended it so, your Majesty, but the weather in Iolan suggested that I should return now, or not again until spring," he replied. Then he bowed and held out a letter to her.

Elizabeth recognized Radek's handwriting on one side and the royal seal of Iolan on the other. "I trust the king presumptive did not send you alone?"

"I was accompanied by party of scientists from our royal academy, along with a handful of our navy captains," he explained. "There was a great deal of interest in your proposition from both groups."

"Very well," Elizabeth replied. With the ambassador telling her that, she assumed that Radek's letter was personal, so she slipped it into her pocket. "Will you dine with me tonight, my lord?"

"With pleasure, Majesty."

He paused for a moment, and Elizabeth said, "What is it, Ambassador?"

"The king gave me one other message." At her curious look, he said, "Well played, Majesty."

She thought back to their meeting in the fall, when Radek's message to her had sparked the very idea for this collaboration. She smiled broadly, and Hayes smiled in return.

He bowed again, and Elizabeth dismissed him. But mere moments after he left, there was another knock at the door. "Did you tell Lorne to let in everyone?" Teyla asked under her breath.

"We have invited a large number of people to Atlantis, Teyla," Elizabeth reminded her. "I cannot help it if they all arrive and must be greeted during a meeting that bores me."

The knock came again, and Elizabeth called to Lorne to enter. He opened the door once more, but this time he was smiling. "My lady, the Marquis of Sheppard."

It was all she could do to keep from grinning at the name. John had told her in his last letter that he hoped to dance with her at Solstice, but she'd tried not to get her hopes up.

Daniel sighed audibly but Elizabeth ignored him. "Show him in, Captain," she said.

At the sight of John, she smiled. She couldn't help herself. His letters, though infrequent, had kept her from worrying about him too much, but it was wonderful to see him again. He looked tired, but not worn. The soft look on his face when their eyes met sent a warmth through her which she probably wasn't concealing very well.

"Your Majesty," he said, bowing to her.

Elizabeth nodded, as regally as she could manage. "Lord John, we are glad to see you again."

"I am glad to return," he replied. "I bring word from King Henry."

She was surprised by this, but at the same time, it did afford her an opportunity. "Indeed?" she said, then looked at Daniel. "I would hear what the king has to say in private."

At that, Daniel actually rolled his eyes, but Elizabeth was far too amused to be offended by his impertinence. "Shall we continue this after you have heard the king's message?" he asked, rising from his chair.

"No, my lord. After supper. There is correspondence I must see to this afternoon."

"Very well."

He and the others in the room made for the door, though not as quickly as Elizabeth would have liked. She sat very still in her chair while they left, while John turned and watched them go. When the door was shut behind them, Elizabeth barely counted to five before bolting up from her chair. "Elizabeth," John said, pulling her into his embrace.

"Welcome home, John," she whispered.

He kissed her eagerly and Elizabeth responded in kind. But before things could get too out of hand, she drew away. "What did Henry have to say?" she asked.

"I have no idea. He entrusted a letter to me."

As John produced the letter, Elizabeth smiled. "And you did not think to tell me this before I cleared the room?"

"And deprive myself of a moment alone with you?" he teased. When she reached for the letter, though, he pulled it away from her, over his shoulder. Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him, but then she leaned in as though to kiss him, snatching the letter and turning away from him at the last moment. "You are cruel, my lady."

"You were withholding royal correspondence, my lord," she replied as she broke the seal on the letter.

John stepped up close behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck and then rested his chin upon her shoulder. "Are you now going to spy on me?" she asked lightly.

"If your cousin inquires of me the contents of the king's message, I believe I ought to know."

The king's note did not dampen Elizabeth's high spirits. They had already corresponded on the matter of her proposal to work together with their allies to develop the weapon that had saved them in the war. Given her reaction to the matter when they met in the summer, Henry had been surprised by her change of heart, but he'd thought it a good idea to work together on this. With everything that had happened to Caldora, he did not want to see the balance of power disrupted. The letter said an official ambassador to Atalan would soon be named, and a party from Caldora would arrive for the summit shortly after Solstice.

"I will answer him today," Elizabeth said when she had finished reading. "Have you any idea whom he might send?"

"I could but guess," John replied, still holding her. "Paul Davis would make a likely ambassador, given he was here previously. Otherwise I do not know. To be honest, I am not sure what Caldora will be able to contribute to the effort."

"More than science is required for this, John," she said. "Your people have seen this weapon in use. I can only imagine that first-hand accounts will be invaluable."

Elizabeth folded the letter and put it in her pocket, and then remembered that this was not the first letter she had received from a king this day. She pulled out the other one, and as she opened it, John asked, "What's that?"

"I had a letter from Radek just before you arrived," she replied.

He muttered something and Elizabeth resisted the urge to laugh at him. When last he'd been in Atlantis, he hadn't said much, but she had deduced that he had been deeply worried about her visit to Iolan. Given what they had told each other just before his departure, Elizabeth would have imagined that he would no longer feel quite so nervous about her relationship with Radek, but at the moment it was proving entertaining for her.

My dear Elizabeth, the letter began, and John's grumbling was renewed. Elizabeth swatted his hand, trying to get him to stop.

I am disappointed that you will be unable to attend the coronation, but do not be troubled. It is happening more quickly than I anticipated, and I know that a journey along the coast, whether by sea or land, during the winter months would be perilous. I would not have you endanger yourself.

In any case, I imagine you have more than enough to occupy yourself with in these winter months. I almost wish I could be present at your gathering, not only because the science would interest me, but also because I would love to see you wrangle such a group to a common goal. There are few who could manage it, but I believe that you will.

Give my regards to Lady Katherine and Lady Laura, along with the lords of Langford, Hammond, and Neill. Write to me as often as you can, for I am deeply intrigued by what you are trying to accomplish now.

Radek

Elizabeth smiled at its ending, remembering what Hayes had said. Deep down she wondered if she had done exactly what Radek had wanted her to do. He was too new on the stage of monarchs to suggest a summit himself, but Elizabeth was in a position to do so. As she folded the letter up and pocketed it again, she felt very good about her prospects. Scientists and ambassadors would be arriving in Atlantis soon, and though some of her own lords had protested allowing outsiders access to information about the new weapon, the sanction of Master Thor had helped quell their displeasure. And the enthusiastic response of Atalan's allies had suggested sharing knowledge of the gunpowder might go a long way towards improving relations with all of Atalan's neighbors, lessening the need to fear for the borders.

Elizabeth dared not hope the developments of the winter would allow her to completely reinstate her plans for the navy, but she could make a strong case in the spring for putting resources back into the ships. Organizing the summit had also given Master McKay something to do now he was returned from Iolan and his sister's wedding. Having the shipwright occupied was to the benefit of everyone.

John pressed a kiss to her temple and released her. "Should I leave you to answer your letters?" he asked.

"I must answer them," she replied, "but you may stay if you like." He got a mischievous look on his face, and Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Only if you can be good."

Jack knew very well what the days before Solstice were like for the queen and her circle. Very little urgent business transpired, but there was a great deal of official business to be done, with gifts to and from every ally and greetings from every lord of Atalan. If this year was anything like last, Elizabeth was probably dealing with some amount of the preparation for the ball herself. In addition, the planning of the gunpowder summit and accommodations for the multitude of guests was concluding. It meant that the days were long but not so utterly exhausting as they were in the rest of the year.

He was therefore surprised that Sarah had not spoken to him in a week. They had not seen so little of each other since shortly after the first time they'd slept together. For days they had avoided each other's gazes, but then a week after that night, she slipped into his room when he was already in bed but not yet asleep. Since then he'd been virtually incapable of resisting her, and Sarah had been just as bad.

Until now, at least. Now he was beginning to wonder what he had done to offend her.

But then, as Jack was heading up to see the queen, hoping to catch her before supper was served, he encountered Sarah on the back stairs. The two stood there dumbly for a moment, and then Sarah looked away. "If you're going to see the queen, you're too late," she said. "Lord John has arrived."

In that case, it was not surprising that Elizabeth was not to be disturbed, but Jack's attention was drawn elsewhere. Sarah was looking wan. "Have you eaten yet?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he took her hand and turned around on the stairs, leading her down. "You're worrying me, Sarah."

She pulled her hand away from his before they reached the bottom of the stairs, but she did not try to leave him. Instead, they stood there staring at each other. Finally, she seemed to shake herself. "We need to talk."

It was Jack's turn to follow as Sarah led him back to his own chambers. Once the door was shut behind them, Jack frowned at her. "What is going on?"

"I need you to sit down," she said. She sounded dreadfully serious, and he did as she asked, his alarm growing with every second. Sarah began to pace slowly. "I don't even know how to say this."

"Sarah-"

"I am with child, Jack."

At the bluntness of her statement, he sat there slack-jawed, thinking inanely that Sarah had been right to tell him to sit first. In the back of his mind he knew he shouldn't be shocked by this. "When?" he managed.

Sarah stopped moving about and looked at him in confusion. "When what?"

"When do you expect the child to be born?"

She was almost wringing her hands. "Around midsummer," she replied lowly.

That was enough to shake Jack out of his shock. "Midsummer? In six months?" Sarah looked away. His voice rose against his will. "And you're just now telling me?"

As he bolted up, Sarah took a step back. "Jack, if I'd known this was possible I never would have gone to bed with you," she said, but the statement only served to confuse and irritate him further.

"If you had known this was possible?" he repeated, incredulous. "Sarah, what on earth gave you the idea that this was not a risk?"

"Because this has never happened before!" she all but shouted at him.

That too took him aback, and then he felt like an idiot for not thinking of it immediately. "Sarah," he began, sitting back down, unsure what else to say to her.

"I was sixteen years old the first time he raped me. Not even when I was that young did I..." She trailed off, but not for lack of strength. He could see her visibly push away the memories, refusing to entertain them for long. After a moment, she sat down next to him, her skirts settling about her gracefully. "I thought I was barren, Jack, and I thought it was a blessing. I did not think this was possible, and I had difficulty believing it, even with all the signs."

It took him a moment to think of anything to say. Gently he covered her hand with his. "It is not your fault, Sarah," he said. "I have not your excuse."

For a moment he wondered how Charles was going to take this news, but Sarah soon distracted him from such thoughts. "After Solstice I can go back to Berwynn," she said, hesitantly. "There is no reason for anyone else to know."

"I will not abandon my child, Sarah," he almost growled. He could understand her desire for privacy, but there was no way he intended to forsake his responsibilities. "Nor make you bear this burden alone."

This time she was startled. "Jack..."

He ran his hand over his mouth, then looked down at the finger where he once wore a ring. "We should be married. At once."

"Then at some point everyone will know of our... indiscretion," she said delicately.

"And then some other scandal will arise to distract them from ours," he retorted. He drew in a breath, willing himself to be calmer. He could but offer her choices. He would not force Sarah into his life, not beyond what was necessary for her honor and the name of their child. "You are stronger than any of them. If you wish, go to Berwynn after the wedding, but..."

She was making a keen study of him as he spoke, and she squeezed his hand. "I will marry you, Jack," she said quietly, causing his heart to race in his chest with both relief and trepidation. "After that we may determine how best to proceed."

With a nod, Jack rose, helping her to stand with him. Sarah started to leave, but he caught her and kissed her, unsure how to express what her words meant to him any other way. When he drew away, she bit her lip. "What will you tell the queen?" she asked.

Jack shook his head slightly. "I was more concerned about what I will tell my son."

"Perhaps they will both surprise us." At the doubtful look he gave her, she added, "Or not."

Despite John's best efforts to distract her, Elizabeth did eventually return to her work. It was just as well, as he needed to rest now if he had any hope of being awake to dine with the queen later. It would not be a private meal, as she had already invited the Iolanian ambassador to join her, but he would take what time he could have with her.

Elizabeth asked Kate to escort him to his chambers, which allowed John a moment to ask Kate a few discreet questions. He doubted she would have anything to tell that would rival the things he had learned during his last stay, but he would leave nothing to chance.

When it became apparent that Kate had no major news to share, John found himself curious about his companion. "I trust Charles of Neill will not misunderstand this should he happen upon us," he said lowly.

He watched as Kate concealed her initial, momentary embarrassment. "Lord Charles is not here," she explained evenly. "He was obliged to return to Neill, though he told me he would try to be back before Solstice."

She seemed rather unmoved by this, but something was not right. John pressed further. "May I be bold and ask if you will participate at the bonfire as you did last year?"

This time she flushed. He'd asked exactly the right question. "I don't know," she admitted. "I respect Charles - like him, even, and I know that that is his intention, but I do not know how I will answer him when the time comes."

This indecision suggested to John only one possible answer, but only Kate could make up her mind. He chose a different tack. They had reached his door, and he ushered her in. Thankfully someone had thought to light a fire in the room. A light snow had been falling on him all day and he was still not quite warm enough yet.

Kate looked at him curiously when he shut the door behind them to give them privacy. "Kate, what happened with you and Lorne?" he asked. "I heard nothing more than speculation when I was here before."

Kate looked away from him, and for a moment he thought he should withdraw the question. But then she answered. "I will not be owned by any man, John."

"Forgive me, then, for taking his side, but I doubt he meant to imply that."

She didn't respond with a rising temper, as he half expected her to. "I do not find anger and jealousy becoming, my lord."

"You will need to find an angel, then, Kate, for it will be near impossible to find a man who has not even a little jealousy when it comes to his beloved."

She made a wry face at that. "There is a difference between benign envy and possessiveness." She sighed. "And there were other difficulties we could not overcome. Besides, I cannot diminish my role with the queen until she is married."

John would have pressed the subject further, for he suspected the feelings between Kate and Marcus were not as dead as she believed, but her statement had opened another subject for him. "Speaking of which."

Kate grinned. "You need not ask for my permission, but you shall have my blessing."

He rolled his eyes, though he smiled. "I am most grateful for that, but it is your advice I seek."

Kate demurely seated herself by the fire. "Ask away."

John joined her in the chair opposite and paused for a moment, thinking of how to say it. "I know there will be great opposition to the idea," he said. "A foreign lord would be difficult enough to be accepted as the queen's consort, but a Caldoran will be far worse."

"Generally speaking, yes," Kate replied, "but the country does owe the queen's life to you. You would have some allies for that alone, though perhaps not enthusiastic ones."

"I imagine some portion of the college would remain unmoved, no matter what arguments are presented," he said. "How many would you wager?"

She looked thoughtful for a minute. "Perhaps as many as a quarter. Another quarter, or possibly as many as a third, would be in favor from the start. The remainder will be where the work must be done."

He nodded in acknowledgment. "Whom among the nobles should I apply to for support? I would imagine Lord Daniel is one, especially since Lord George has removed from Atlantis."

"Indeed," she replied. "Teyla will be Elizabeth's staunchest supporter, though. Go to the duke first out of protocol, but Teyla should be next. Between them they can secure the support of half the college."

John narrowed his eyes. "The queen's marriage should not be a matter of a razor-thin majority."

"Then apply to Lord Jonathan as well. Despite his professed disdain for politics, he has a great gift for knocking hard heads together."

John did not miss the formality in how Kate mentioned Jack. But at the same time, he knew her advice was sound. Jack would support Elizabeth's decision in this matter, so deeply personal for her.

"May I ask you a question, my lord?"

"Of course."

"Have you already asked Elizabeth to marry you?" she asked. "She has said nothing of it to me."

John shook his head. "I did not wish to last time. Not when she was just recovering from illness and when I knew I could not stay for long."

"I see." Kate rose and headed for the door, but then she stopped. "Have you got a ring for her?"

He smiled, almost despite himself. "I do. It was my father's gift to my mother upon their betrothal."

Kate's expression turned soft. "May I see it?" At his puzzled look, she added, "I can tell you if it is the right size for her Majesty."

"In the morning," he said, getting up from his chair to see her out. "We both have other matters to attend to at the present."

She smiled at him. "It is good to have you back, John."

He kissed her hand. "It is good to be home."

When she had left, John finally removed his traveling cloak and boots and settled down upon his bed. He drifted in and out as the afternoon waned, but when evening came, he was already devising plans of his own.

With the early arrival of Ambassador Hayes the day before, Elizabeth had to cancel her conference with Kate's father. Upon Daniel's urging, she had sent Kate and Laura in her stead. It was strange, but even after all these years in Elizabeth's service, they had not made a habit of work like this. Kate suspected that it had to do with their gender as well as their age. Now Elizabeth had been queen for more than a year, and in the last few months, Lady Teyla and Lady Sarah had both stepped up as advisors to the sovereign. The noblemen were growing accustomed to dealing with powerful women, and it was high time that Kate and Laura began operating on a more public level. After all, for more than a decade they had had the same training as Elizabeth, precisely so they could be more than maidservants.

The meeting was a useful one. Kate's father had been away for a few weeks, checking on progress on the western watchtowers. Normally such work would have fallen to those whose provinces were affected, but Elizabeth had wanted a more neutral party. Kate was not sure that her father was truly neutral in the matter, especially given how he had shifted his allegiance entirely to the queen in the last battle with the college, but geographically, if for no other reason, he was a suitable observer.

As she and Laura were leaving, a page approached them. "Forgive me, ladies, but Lord Charles of Neill wished you to know that he has arrived," the boy said, before bowing and scampering away.

"Well, he's certainly not here to see me," Laura remarked dryly. "Go ahead, Kate. I will report back to the queen."

With a grateful smile, Kate hurried away, though honestly she was not certain what her rush was. In the days immediately after his departure, she had found herself missing Charles' company, but it was not long before work removed all time for loneliness. As Elizabeth's strength returned, so too did long days and nights full of Atalan's business.

And there was Marcus, ever near. Since Elizabeth's sickness, they had returned to something like their old friendship, long before hungry, desperate kisses in front of a fire. Though she told herself she was grateful to be able to work alongside him so comfortably again, it was easy to remember why she had fallen in love with him, and sometimes Kate caught him watching her in a way that told her he was remembering too.

At the top of the great stairs into the foyer, Kate paused, trying to put thoughts of the past out of her mind. Charles was down below, and when he spotted her, he smiled. "My lady," he said as she approached. "You are looking well."

"I am, thank you," she replied. "I trust you had a safe and quiet journey?"

"Until the snow today," he said. "I fear my horse did not like the idea very much."

Kate smiled serenely. "I will walk with you to your father's door. I am sure he is anxious to see you."

He nodded, and together they set off. Kate asked him questions about the business which had called him south, and he gave her brief replies. Any time they passed by windows to the outside, his attention was drawn away. Eventually, though he had only just arrived, Charles took Kate's arm lightly and led her out into the nearest courtyard. "Have you never seen snow before, my lord?" she asked.

"In the mountains, yes," he replied. "But I have always thought it a marvel, and snow out over the sea is something I never contemplated before."

There was a look of wonder on his face, and Kate had to admit that she could see past the nuisance of the weather to appreciate its beauty. "We had snow occasionally in Heightmeyer, but not like here," she said. "The first year I was here, the princess and Lady Laura and I were building snowmen in one of these courtyards. It wasn't long before Laura lost interest in that and started pelting us with snowballs instead."

Charles smiled, surprised. "And what happened then?"

"Oh, I should not like to disclose what lengths Queen Elizabeth will go to when besieged, my lord," Kate said slyly.

He chuckled at that. Out here in the snow, the world seemed very still. There were no concerns over arriving dignitaries or securing the borders or an impending political battle over the queen's marriage. All was quiet and peaceful in this secluded place.

Charles must have sensed it too. Before long, he had turned away from the view and was looking at Kate in a way that made her feel very self-conscious. "You look even lovelier here, with snowflakes on your nose," he said with a small smile.

She let him brush the snow off her nose with his thumb, and then touch her cheek very lightly. His fingers were cold, but so was she. She turned to look up at him, and he leaned down to kiss her, almost curiously. There was little bold about it, only an unspoken expression of what he had asked of her father weeks ago. But it was sweet, even as it lingered.

He drew away, and his fingers brushed against the back of her hand. Kate had to bite her lip to keep from whimpering. "Kate," Charles said, his voice very low.

But there were footsteps behind them. Resolutely Kate did not turn around to see who was intruding on their solitude, but she felt Charles stiffen when he looked up. "Father."

"Charles, it is good to see you again," Jack said. Kate could not bear to turn around and face her old friend after kissing his son, but thankfully Jack did not address her. "I need to speak with you."

"I will be there in a moment."

Kate heard Jack walk away, and Charles looked back at her. "My lady, will you dine with me tonight?" he asked.

She met his gaze again and nodded.

"Then I shall see you then."

He kissed her hand quickly and then he was gone. Kate stayed out in the courtyard for a little longer, trying to regain her composure. Tonight he was going to ask her to marry him. She was sure of it.

Now, if she could only be sure of what answer she would give him.

Laura did not hurry back to the queen's rooms after parting from Kate. Elizabeth was likely to be preparing for supper with the ambassador and John, and there would be time this evening to speak of Lord David's reports.

Her mind turned to Kate and Charles. As the fall had slipped away, the young man had been quietly and steadily pressing his suit with Kate. He'd even made efforts to get to know Elizabeth better and thaw out his rather chilly demeanor toward his sovereign. Laura doubted that Kate felt any great passion for Charles, but his manner of courting was respectful and sincere, and she could see her friend being swayed by such an approach.

Also, ever since the collapse of Kate's relationship with Marcus, Laura had learned that Kate could, at times, be far more impulsive than Laura had ever been even at her worst.

She put aside her musings as she came out of the stairwell, for she spied Lady Sarah down the hallway. Laura was about to say something when the woman abruptly leaned out and braced herself against the wall, as if to keep from falling.

"My lady?" Laura hastened to her side. Sarah was pressing her other hand to her head, as though dizzy. "What is the matter?"

"It is nothing," she said, with a paleness that belied her words. "I felt a little faint, is all."

Laura held her tongue long enough to guide the other woman to a seat. She fetched a cup of water and sat down on the stone bench next to Sarah. For a long moment she just watched in silence, until Sarah sighed in exasperation. "Whatever it is, my lady, just come out with it."

Unless Laura was gravely mistaken, underneath Lady Sarah's directness was a hint of unease. Laura checked to be certain the hall was empty. As gently and quietly as she could, she asked, "Forgive me, Sarah, but... are you with child?"

Sarah's jaw hung open and she stared at Laura in horror. "How did you know?" Evidently she was too shocked to attempt to lie.

Laura shrugged, her hand going to the curve of her own stomach, which was now clearly visible, at least when she was not wearing so many layers of clothing. "I cannot say precisely. You have been withdrawn these last few weeks, not eating, and I know during the first months of my pregnancy, there were days I could have slept twenty hours and still been tired. And right now you look the same." Sarah closed her mouth, rubbing at her cheek with one hand. Laura did not add that she had heard the gossip regarding Sarah and Jack floating through the court throughout the fall. "When I saw you become dizzy, it just came to me."

They were silent for a moment. Sarah's eyes were wide. "I know I have no right to ask this, but-"

"I shall not tell a soul," Laura pre-empted her. "You have my word."

"Thank you." The relief in Sarah's voice was palpable.

Laura was hardly naïve enough to think this had never happened before. Lady Catherine had been the one who explained to Laura, Elizabeth and Kate how such things came to be, when they were still fairly young, and both she and their governess had impressed upon the girls how important it was to preserve their virtue until marriage. But Laura had seen more than one bride hurried to the altar as a result of such circumstances. After all, such things could not remain hidden forever.

"I imagine Lord Jonathan is...?" She trailed off delicately and Sarah nodded.

"We intend to marry," she said quietly. "If the queen consents."

"I'm sure she will," Laura reassured her. There was no real reason for Elizabeth to object, even if there had not been some more compelling motivation in the case. "Have you spoken to a doctor? Or the midwife?"

Sarah shook her head. "It took me some time to understand what was wrong. I had never experienced such a thing before."

It was on the tip of Laura's tongue to make a joke but then the meaning behind Sarah's words became clear and she winced. She had been thinking Jack had made himself irresistible to Sarah, enough to overcome her fear of the possible risks of sharing his bed. Instead, because of her past, she had assumed pregnancy was not possible for her.

Suddenly, this child seemed far more a blessing than a scandal.

"I imagine Jack must be speaking to Charles," she said, standing. Sarah nodded and Laura put a hand on her arm. "Then perhaps you should come with me. I shall summon my husband and he can see that you are starting out on the right foot, as it were. You may count on his discretion, I assure you. And he has had much experience with the sickness, so you need not fear offending him."

Sarah's worried expression relaxed slightly. Laura knew she must be bewildered, so she exerted herself to talk cheerfully of the future. Such sadness would not be healthy for the babe, and Lady Sarah had lived through enough sadness for many lifetimes.