Fic: The Politics of Marriage (4/4)
Previously on stargate_ren:
Meta and Part I
Part II
Part III
With John away and with all the work to be done for the wedding before her, Elizabeth often found herself thinking of her first wedding. She had not been heavily involved in its preparation, and when she thought back to it, she could not decide if that had made the situation better or worse. Not having any work to do toward the day had given her too much time to dread it, though that might not have been averted had she been more involved. It seemed a lifetime ago, but sometimes her hands still shook when she thought of the day she had vowed to be Simon's wife until they were parted by death.
She had spent the last hours of his life in fear of what the night would bring. Secretly she had often felt relief that she had not had to share a bed with him, tempered at times with shame. The man had known that he was doing something dangerous by marrying her, and he had died because of her.
Last year was one of the few times she had spoken of that day in much detail. At first it had been too bewildering and painful, and then it was simply easier to avoid the subject. But John's amazement and concern at her admission had eased her discomfort at speaking of that time in her life. Now he knew how those days had haunted her. While she had not spoken explicitly of the fears that had developed as the wedding drew near, she knew that he had understood anyway. He always did, it seemed.
This second wedding would be a much grander affair. Elizabeth was no longer a child, either in the eyes of society or the law, and the expectations of a queen's wedding were significantly greater than that of a princess, especially given both the internal and external politics involved. As such, not long after John's departure from Atlantis, Elizabeth summoned Lady Catherine to help.
Her old friend arrived in the middle of a snowy evening, and Elizabeth immediately sent for tea and invited her guest to join her. Catherine looked grateful for the opportunity to sit in front of a warm fire with a hot cup of tea. "You are looking well, Majesty," she said, "as are you, Kate, but you both look tired."
"It has been a long day," Elizabeth replied with a weary smile, "and about to get longer. My seamstress has informed me, most politely, that if I do not make time for her today, there is no way my wedding gown will be finished in time for my wedding. I have put off a meeting with half a dozen lords tonight, because I cannot put her off any longer."
Catherine leaned back in her chair, smiling softly. "Your mother's gown was lovely."
Elizabeth had seen the painting of her mother in that dress. "It is stored away somewhere here, but I could never have worn it," she replied. "She was several inches shorter than me, as it happens."
"That she was. You got your height from your father," Catherine said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Besides, Elizabeth has insisted on white," Kate put in.
Catherine turned a bemused look on her. "Why?"
Elizabeth felt her cheeks flush a little. She knew that many a lady in court would be surprised by the choice, as it was not at all conventional in Atalan. "My betrothed informs me that brides in his country wear white. This will be his wedding too, so I thought some custom of his people should be honored."
Catherine shook her head. "Then the late queen's wedding gown would never do. She was married in blue, and looked quite regal."
"Perhaps I will manage to look regal anyway," Elizabeth replied drolly.
When tea was finished, the three ladies departed for another chamber not far away. The maid now attending Laura nearly all the time let them in with a deep curtsey for Elizabeth. Laura was just reaching the beginning of her confinement, which meant that the seamstress would be bringing the gown here so Laura could give her opinions as well. She would not be shut out of this simply because of the child.
The seamstress arrived punctually along with two assistants who carried the pieces of the gown, wrapped up in plain brown cloth to protect them. Kate helped Elizabeth out of the dress she was wearing, as the seamstress instructed, and then into the new gown.
Few of the edges of fabric were finished, but as the parts of the gown were revealed, Elizabeth felt her heart begin to race with anticipation. First came a blouse of fine linen with a deep neck. Its sleeves were wide, but would cinch at her wrists. Next she put on a silk underskirt made of the most intense blue she had ever seen. The final garment, though, made everyone gasp. The bottom edge was raw and the waist was slightly too low, but Elizabeth could not help a feeling of awe as she slipped the surcote on over the rest. It was cut from a stunning brocade of white and palest gold.
"There will be gold embroidery on the underskirt, Majesty, so that it does not look so modest in comparison," the seamstress explained, taking in her handiwork. "But I hope the brocade is to your liking."
"It is," Elizabeth assured her, running her hand over the skirt, pleated all around and open in the front. It would have no train, as she planned to dance a great deal at her wedding feast. "I had feared that white would look plain."
The seamstress smiled then, and took from her satchel another carefully wrapped object. "I hope your Majesty will forgive me," she said. "I took the liberty of taking something from your mother's jewels. She wore this at her wedding, and I believe it will suit you and this gown."
Elizabeth took it when offered, and she lifted up the cloth and gasped. In her portrait as a bride, Elizabeth's mother had worn a long gold chain from shoulder to shoulder, set with diamonds and opals. A pendant hung from its center, carrying a large sapphire.
Kate and Elizabeth stared at the exquisite piece for a while, before Elizabeth remembered Laura and moved closer so that she could see it. "It is beautiful, Elizabeth," Laura said. "Your mother's portrait does not do it justice."
Catherine leaned forward from the other side of the bed to see it better. Then she laughed. "I always wondered what became of that," she remarked.
"It must be a prized family heirloom," the seamstress commented.
"Indeed," Catherine replied. "Majesty, this belonged to your grandfather, and countless generations before him. He would wear it with his most formal attire at court."
Elizabeth had to laugh at that as well. "Well, if there is to be any advantage in being queen, it ought to be that we may wear what we like on the day we are wed."
Kate helped Elizabeth to attach it to the shoulders of the surcote. The gold chain was momentarily cool against her skin above the neckline of her blouse, and the pendant hung down just to the top of the fabric. In back, the chain hung down below her waist on either side. "What say you?" Elizabeth asked of the room.
"You will be a most elegant bride," Catherine said. The seamstress nodded her assent.
Elizabeth looked to her friends. Laura reached and squeezed her hand. "You are nothing short of beautiful, Elizabeth," Laura told her.
"I agree," Kate added. "Laura and Teyla and I shall be quite unremarkable in comparison to you."
"As well you should be!" Catherine teased. "Let the bride have her day. Laura has already had her turn, and I dare say you will follow before too long."
Elizabeth glanced at Kate, who was not meeting anyone's gaze. It was not too long ago, after all, that Kate had refused her latest suitor, Jack's son.
Before long Elizabeth had to change back into the dress she had been wearing. The seamstress whisked the unfinished gown away along with her assistants, and the three other ladies stayed a while with Laura. Catherine, in fact, stayed longer, saying she wanted Laura's blunt opinions on wedding matters as well as news about the baby. Elizabeth had to sit with Teyla and Lord David, who were to give her an assessment of their progress with the college.
Late that night, Kate and Elizabeth returned to Laura's chambers. This was becoming a regular event for them. Carson was often elsewhere in the evenings, particularly with the usual illnesses brought on by the cold of winter, which gave the young ladies plenty of time to talk. Tonight, Elizabeth and Kate sat on either side of Laura, and Laura rested her head on Kate's shoulder. "I'm bored," she announced.
Elizabeth and Kate glanced at each other, and they both giggled. "Then I am sorry for you," Elizabeth replied. "I doubt you will have much more excitement before the baby is born."
"I know. The midwife says I should take peace and quiet while I can," Laura said. "Though it is getting difficult to sleep. The baby is always moving about when I try."
Elizabeth reached over and laid her hand against Laura's belly, and she could indeed feel the baby move. "I wonder if that is normal," she mused. "I get little enough sleep as it is. I cannot imagine what it will be like once I am with child."
"Oh, there will be other things to rob your sleep first," Laura assured her. "Although you might not mind so terribly if your husband is chasing you into bed."
"She might be the one to do the chasing," Kate teased.
Elizabeth leaned forward, smiling as she looked at Kate. "You have seen my betrothed, have you not?"
Kate rolled her eyes. "Not all of us are interested in wild hair and elfin ears and all that is your lord betrothed."
"His eyes are kind, and when he loves, he loves deeply," Elizabeth replied, her tone softening. "But I can see your point. I, for instance, would not be too intrigued by a dimpled cheek and broad shoulders."
For once, Kate did not flush, which surprised both the other girls. "I suppose there is no use in denying that. You have both known my weakness for such a man for a long time."
"That is true," Laura said innocently.
"Has he said anything to you?" Elizabeth asked, unable to suppress her curiosity. She knew that Kate had been spending some measure of time alone with Marcus.
"No," Kate said quietly. "But then, he did not say much the first time until it became too obvious to ignore."
"I have heard your very brief recounting of that night, but few details," Laura replied. "What did he say to you when it became too obvious to ignore?"
This time Kate blushed deeply. "Things not fit to repeat to anyone."
Laura pouted in response.
Elizabeth was comforted a little to hear that Kate thought of that courtship as the first time. Of necessity, it implied that there was - or would be - a second. She had not liked seeing her friend so unhappy when the relationship with Marcus ended, but even if this time did not resolve happily, at least Kate would have faced her feelings for him instead of leaving everything so unresolved.
Before long, Laura was yawning, and Kate and Elizabeth were quick to take their leave, promising to have breakfast with her the next morning. Then the two walked back to their chambers, arm in arm. "John's cousin will be married in a few days," Elizabeth said. "He wrote to me in his last letter that he will then travel to Cheyenne to settle some business there, and he will return home after two weeks, if all goes well."
"Are you anxious to have him back?" Kate asked.
"I miss him," Elizabeth replied. "Perhaps anxious is a good description, for I know that when he next returns to Atlantis, it will be for good."
Kate smiled at that, just as they were reaching their door. Elizabeth paused there to speak to Marcus before they retired for the night. It might have been a product of what they had just been talking about, but in the middle of the conversation, Elizabeth realized abruptly that Marcus and Kate were avoiding looking at each other.
She finished the conversation without thinking much about what she was saying. The moment the door was closed between them and the guards, Elizabeth whirled toward her friend in amazement. "What happened?" she demanded, trying to keep from shouting and being overheard.
Kate sighed, but she did not deny it. "We almost kissed," she replied as she headed for the bedroom.
"Where? When?" Following, Elizabeth could not suppress a grin.
"We crossed paths this morning on our way to different errands," Kate explained. "We walked together for a time, and suddenly we were alone in a remote stairwell and we almost kissed."
Elizabeth shook her head, and she moved around Kate to unlace her gown. "What hindered you?"
"An abrupt appearance by Carson Beckett," Kate said darkly. "If he knows what he interrupted, I am sure Laura will know before long."
"So he does not say much," Elizabeth teased. "I rather like it when John does not say much."
"Elizabeth!" Kate said, half shocked and half scolding. She subsided into silence for the moment.
As they finished getting ready for bed, Elizabeth turned thoughtful. "Are you nervous about something happening between you again?" she asked.
"Are you nervous about getting married?" Kate asked in return. She sat down on the bed and made a study of her hands. "I know he is a good man. But we have hurt each other before."
Elizabeth nodded even though Kate was not looking at her. She was relieved beyond the telling to hear Kate admit at last her own complicity in what had happened between her and Marcus. It was not enough to repair all the damage, if that could even be repaired, but it was a start.
"John worries me sometimes," Elizabeth said, coming around to the other side of the bed, drawing curtains as she went. "He is so quick to judge, so quick to anger. There are legitimate concerns as to his suitability to be my husband. A few of the lords who are opposed to the idea have expressed such concerns to me and to others."
Kate turned and lay down next to Elizabeth. "What did you say to them?"
"That there is no man perfectly suited for the task," she replied. "Some of his shortcomings may be overcome with a little patience. But he is loyal, and he loves this country, perhaps more than some who were born to it. I could never marry a man who did not have those qualities in abundance before we were wed."
"So you are saying that I should try to look past Marcus' faults," Kate said flatly, staring up at the canopy above them.
"No," Elizabeth said, forcefully enough to draw Kate's gaze. "If his faults make you miserable, you will never be able to look past them. But bear in mind that you are not perfect either."
"I know." Kate looked away again. "Laura would have made fun before saying anything serious."
"I have not her wit," Elizabeth said, yawning. "Besides, I'm sure she'll have plenty to say in the morning."
Laura did indeed have much to say on the matter, but Elizabeth was obliged to leave her friends the next morning long before she would have liked. The men she had put off the night before were waiting for her in her study. Elizabeth spent most of the following hour listening to them explain to her in overly patient tones that they hoped she had considered her choice of husband thoroughly. After all, her consort would not only advise her in various matters, but he would also have a hand in raising the monarch who would succeed her.
Elizabeth tried her best to give them her full attention, though part of her wanted to roll her eyes at them. She had told Kate the night before that she knew there were viable reasons to doubt John's suitability. She knew that there were a few who were coming to her out of legitimate concern. She could only hope that she could smooth over the worries of the college and they could move on.
As the meeting was ending, there was a knock on the door. David Heightmeyer stepped inside and waited for the others to take their leave. "I thought I might ask how it went with them," he said once the door was closed. He had already met with that group of men some weeks earlier.
Elizabeth rose, hesitating to answer. "Much as we anticipated," she replied. "Is it just me, or are these conversations growing circular?"
David smiled. "To be honest, my lady, given that the official power the college has in this matter is rightly limited, the conversations have always felt circular."
Elizabeth grinned at that but returned to the task at hand. "I am beginning to think it may be time to change the conversation." When he merely raised his eyebrows politely, she nodded for him to sit. "I was thinking of bringing up the matter of John's title with the lords."
David pondered that for a moment. He was not quite as shrewd as Daniel or Teyla, but he was learning. He folded his hands together and leaned back in the chair. "The debate would shift," he realized, "from whether you should marry Lord John to what he will be called."
"Making the marriage itself a foregone conclusion, or something of one at any rate." Elizabeth had been biding her time on bringing this issue forward, but it certainly felt as though all the arguments about her choice of a husband had been made by now.
"For what it is worth, I believe if you asked the college today for their advice on the matter, they would consent to the marriage," David replied. "Most of them are convinced. Probably another dozen more would join because they do not want to oppose a majority. The rest are intractable anyway."
"I know. And I want to thank you for all of your help, Lord David. You have been invaluable to me these last several months."
"I am glad to do my duty, Majesty."
Elizabeth had to smile a little. His words reminded her of someone else. "Kate is a great deal like you, sir."
David bowed his head briefly. "I will take that as a compliment, my lady."
The mention of Kate, however, had brought an odd look to his face, and Elizabeth hesitated to speak again, curious about what was on his mind. He shifted his weight slightly. "Majesty, forgive me for prying, but I have been somewhat concerned about my daughter since Solstice. I know she has not had the best experience with men seeking her favor, but it seemed that she genuinely liked Charles of Neill, and she was upset when she refused him."
Elizabeth struggled for a moment, trying to think of what she could say. "I cannot betray her confidence, my lord," she replied carefully. "But I do not believe she would have been happy with him."
"Not all of us are fortunate enough to have happy marriages," David said, almost to himself. Then he roused himself somewhat. "You, of course, have the advantage of being happily betrothed already."
Elizabeth smiled slightly. "Despite the headache brought by the politics, yes."
"Hopefully that will soon be over, my lady."
With a bow, he took his leave. Elizabeth lingered in her study for a few minutes more, until Peter Grodin arrived at the door. "Am I needed somewhere?" she asked him.
"Lady Catherine has asked if she can join you at luncheon," he replied. "I believe there was some mention of wedding details."
She sighed, which made him smile slightly. "She has been here half a day. I imagine she will have the whole wedding planned by the end of the week."
Catherine did indeed have more particulars of the wedding to discuss over luncheon. Elizabeth was glad to have someone else handling this so that the rest of them could focus on other things, but she imagined that for the time being, such conversations as these would be the prevailing theme of any meal she stopped long enough to eat.
It had not been so with her first wedding. Her time then was dominated by her studies, and the wedding had been a smaller affair. Now her opinion was wanted at every turn, and she could only imagine that it would get worse before midsummer arrived. And it was not as though her days had been carefree before this.
She was looking forward to her honeymoon with the same enthusiasm that any bride as lucky as she would, but it was not just the thought of intimacy with John that made her smile secretly. The prospect of someone else doing all of this work for a few days was almost as welcome.
Just as she was finishing luncheon and getting ready to escape from Lady Catherine's discussion of flowers, Peter returned to the dining room. "My apologies, Majesty, but a party of Caldorans has just arrived."
Elizabeth stood abruptly. "Lord John is not expected for another three weeks at least."
"The marquis is not among the travelers, my lady, though one says he carries a message from him."
Kate and Catherine both followed Elizabeth out of her dining room to the courtyard just inside the gates. These Caldorans looked a little prepared for the temperature, although as spring was drawing near, it was not nearly as cold now as it had been a few weeks earlier. When Elizabeth entered, followed by a contingent of guards and her attendants, the group of men bowed. "Your Majesty," said one man, taking off his hat. "I bear a message from Lord John of Sheppard."
He held out the folded and sealed paper, and she smiled at him graciously. "We thank you, sir. But what brings you to Atlantis?"
"We are a humble troupe of musicians, Majesty," said another man, this one younger than the first. "We have come to play for you, if you like."
"That sounds delightful," Elizabeth replied. As Grodin led them away, she turned to her letter.
My lady,
I know that one of the tasks I left to you was the planning of our wedding day. You have help, of course, but some of it ought to come from me.
This group of musicians played at the ball following my cousin's wedding and coronation. You asked me once if there were any traditions of Caldora I would like to see in our wedding, and I ask you to listen to these men play. You may find their performance intriguing.
John
As Elizabeth folded the letter again, Kate was watching her. "My lady?"
"John sent them," she explained. "We will hear them play."
She had too much to do to hear them in the afternoon, of course, but after supper, when the musicians had had a chance to rest a while, Elizabeth gathered a number of people in her audience chamber. Teyla and Daniel pried themselves away from their business, and Jack came with Sarah, who was not getting as tired as easily as she had been before Solstice, though from some angles the swelling of her stomach was now visible. Elizabeth sat next to Kate, and found herself smiling through much of the performance.
Some of the instruments were familiar; others were not. The sound of them all together was like nothing she had heard before. Elizabeth had always enjoyed being able to hear something new, but as the musicians began their fourth song, she gave a start. She knew this one.
The lutenist noticed the look on her face and stopped the others. "Is something amiss, my lady?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she replied hurriedly. "I know this song. I did not know the others."
"Oh," the man said. "How do you know it?"
"We share a border," she told him with a smile. "I am told that we should not be surprised to share other things as well."
"That is true. What is this song, then, in Atalan?"
Elizabeth curled her nose up. "A song of a man who claims he will die if his beloved does not look from the window and smile at him." She tilted her head slightly, curious. "And in Caldora?"
A few of the musicians were laughing quietly. "Different in details, your Majesty, but not in sentiment," said the man playing the flute.
At that she grinned. "Please, gentlemen, continue."
They started the song again, and before long they had found more songs which the assembled Atalanians also knew. The Caldoran instruments brought something wonderful and new to the familiar tunes. Elizabeth hoped that those of her countrymen still struggling with the idea of their queen wedding a Caldoran might hear these men and their music and lay some part of their prejudice to rest.
At the end of an hour, the musicians took their leave, and most of the others did as well. Catherine and Kate lingered behind. "My lady?" Catherine asked.
"On the morrow, ask them if they would like to join the musicians who will play at my wedding feast," Elizabeth said quietly. "They need not stay in Atlantis until then, but I should like to have them here when I am married."
Catherine nodded. "As you wish."
Elizabeth intended to pose her question to the college earlier than she did, but news of a flood caused by high snow melt and heavy spring rains near Hammond served as a distraction for more than a week. As a result, the chatter about the marriage had died down considerably, for it was early in the year for such warm temperatures.
Still, when she called them to assemble, she knew there was little doubt as to what the purpose of the gathering was. There was a sense of eager anticipation in the room, and it took some time before Lord Benjamin was able to call them to order.
When all was quiet, Hurst looked to Elizabeth. She nodded once. "My lords and ladies," she said, "We have called you here today to ask your consent that, upon our marriage, the title Prince of Atalan be conferred upon our husband."
William Abelson was the first to stand to be recognized. "Majesty," he said, "three years ago, when you were wed to Lord Simon Wallis, he was given only the title prince consort. Is it your opinion that he should have been named prince?"
"Yes," she replied plainly.
In the general murmurs that followed her blunt pronouncement, Teyla stood. "In light of Kinsey's crimes during his regency, I believe anyone can see that nearly any other regent would have been preferred," she said. She did not add that Kinsey surely would have killed Simon anyway, but that had never been proved.
"But Lord Simon was Atalanian," said one of the southern viscounts. "His marriage to the queen was hardly a controversy. Why then should we confer this honor upon a foreigner?"
"We have had news from Redwater," Daniel replied, across the hall. "Lord John has already announced to Caldora's noble assembly that he intends to renounce his claim to the marquisate."
"Intends to," Samuels repeated with just enough insinuation that Elizabeth wanted to roll her eyes at him.
"He is a man of his word, Samuels," Daniel replied darkly, before turning his attention back to the college at large. Elizabeth suppressed a smile at the sight of her cousin defending John so adamantly in public. "Lord John is severing ties with his homeland. I believe it is safe to presume that he considers Atalan his country now."
"The man has done a great deal for Atalan already," Jack said from his seat. "Let us remember: were it not for his bravery and quick-thinking and risk to his own life, the queen might not have survived to reach her throne."
There were many raps against the railing at that, but then Abelson stood again. "Forgive me for my impertinence, Majesty," he said. "The marquis did indeed save your life that day, but he also deceived you. He deceived all of us by concealing his heritage. This does not seem like the act of a man who should be trusted with all the responsibilities that come with the title you wish him to have."
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes slightly, considering the speaker. Abelson had spoken to Jack some weeks ago, expressing his concern, much of which he echoed now. But unlike some who had railed against the marriage, Elizabeth did not believe that he was harboring a grudge. He was not that type of man, so Elizabeth reached for patience. He deserved her respect.
"Lord John explained to us the cause of his deception some time ago," she explained, as calmly as she could. "After what his country had done to him, he had no desire to be known as Caldoran, and was happy to find a new home. We understand your concern, my lord, but we trust him with our life, and with our country."
There was a restless silence as Abelson settled back into his seat not appearing convinced, and Elizabeth looked out across the hall. "Most of you are married and have children," she continued lowly. "Some of you have lost your wives to childbirth. You all know it is dangerous. And you all know that our mother had a great deal of difficulty bearing children, and that she eventually died as a result."
She looked down for a moment, gathering herself. "There is no guarantee that we shall escape a similar fate. If such a thing were to happen, the country would be faced with another regency, perhaps a prolonged one. Knowing this, we do not wish to be so irresponsible as to leave so serious a matter unresolved. With John as Prince of Atalan, there would be no question as to who would serve as regent, no opportunity for a man of dubious motives and scruples to undo everything we have tried to do. We can only come before you with a petition, that you settle this matter now, and leave nothing to chance."
With that she rose and walked through the hall to the main door of the assembly hall, working to keep her emotions in check. She had not entirely intended to handle the matter in this way, but she had said all that she could to the college. Besides, the point of this exercise was not to convince them on this, although Elizabeth's preference was indeed that John be crowned prince and not prince consort. For now, she would accept either decision so long as they moved past the question of whether or not she ought to marry John.
That evening, Elizabeth stood with her cousin at the window of her dining room, where they could see the shipyards. Before too many more weeks passed, the work there would begin anew. But she was not thinking about the politics of her navy just now. She looked down at the ring on her finger and hoped her efforts today would prove fruitful.
"I thought your arguments were very eloquent, cousin," Daniel said to her. "I am hopeful that reason will prevail. For once."
Elizabeth laughed softly at that, but then she noticed the wistful look on his face. Her speech before the assembly had been about her mother's death. She had been told all her life of how close Daniel and Margaret of Langford had been as children, and she realized rather suddenly how painful it must have been for him to hear her speak thus. Besides, Daniel's wife had died in childbirth, along with their son, which would make such conversation all the more difficult.
"I should have given you some warning," she said quietly. "Sometimes thinking about my mother is painful for me too. So many memories I have of her are wrapped up in her being pregnant or losing a child. It must have been so hard."
"It was," Daniel replied. He reached for her hand briefly. "But it may not be so for you. We cannot know what the future holds."
"We know in part," Elizabeth reminded him. "With spring will come thaw, and new life, and ships over the sea. And with the summer will come my wedding day."
Daniel set his arm around her shoulders then and she leaned against him. Outside, tiny beads of water were dripping from the icicles hanging from the eaves. Spring indeed was coming. Soon the ice in the channel would break up and flowers would bloom and she and Kate would not wake up half-frozen every morning. Laura's child would be born, followed not too long after by Sarah's.
And soon, John would be home to stay. For Elizabeth, the days could not pass by swiftly enough.
Meta and Part I
Part II
Part III
With John away and with all the work to be done for the wedding before her, Elizabeth often found herself thinking of her first wedding. She had not been heavily involved in its preparation, and when she thought back to it, she could not decide if that had made the situation better or worse. Not having any work to do toward the day had given her too much time to dread it, though that might not have been averted had she been more involved. It seemed a lifetime ago, but sometimes her hands still shook when she thought of the day she had vowed to be Simon's wife until they were parted by death.
She had spent the last hours of his life in fear of what the night would bring. Secretly she had often felt relief that she had not had to share a bed with him, tempered at times with shame. The man had known that he was doing something dangerous by marrying her, and he had died because of her.
Last year was one of the few times she had spoken of that day in much detail. At first it had been too bewildering and painful, and then it was simply easier to avoid the subject. But John's amazement and concern at her admission had eased her discomfort at speaking of that time in her life. Now he knew how those days had haunted her. While she had not spoken explicitly of the fears that had developed as the wedding drew near, she knew that he had understood anyway. He always did, it seemed.
This second wedding would be a much grander affair. Elizabeth was no longer a child, either in the eyes of society or the law, and the expectations of a queen's wedding were significantly greater than that of a princess, especially given both the internal and external politics involved. As such, not long after John's departure from Atlantis, Elizabeth summoned Lady Catherine to help.
Her old friend arrived in the middle of a snowy evening, and Elizabeth immediately sent for tea and invited her guest to join her. Catherine looked grateful for the opportunity to sit in front of a warm fire with a hot cup of tea. "You are looking well, Majesty," she said, "as are you, Kate, but you both look tired."
"It has been a long day," Elizabeth replied with a weary smile, "and about to get longer. My seamstress has informed me, most politely, that if I do not make time for her today, there is no way my wedding gown will be finished in time for my wedding. I have put off a meeting with half a dozen lords tonight, because I cannot put her off any longer."
Catherine leaned back in her chair, smiling softly. "Your mother's gown was lovely."
Elizabeth had seen the painting of her mother in that dress. "It is stored away somewhere here, but I could never have worn it," she replied. "She was several inches shorter than me, as it happens."
"That she was. You got your height from your father," Catherine said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Besides, Elizabeth has insisted on white," Kate put in.
Catherine turned a bemused look on her. "Why?"
Elizabeth felt her cheeks flush a little. She knew that many a lady in court would be surprised by the choice, as it was not at all conventional in Atalan. "My betrothed informs me that brides in his country wear white. This will be his wedding too, so I thought some custom of his people should be honored."
Catherine shook her head. "Then the late queen's wedding gown would never do. She was married in blue, and looked quite regal."
"Perhaps I will manage to look regal anyway," Elizabeth replied drolly.
When tea was finished, the three ladies departed for another chamber not far away. The maid now attending Laura nearly all the time let them in with a deep curtsey for Elizabeth. Laura was just reaching the beginning of her confinement, which meant that the seamstress would be bringing the gown here so Laura could give her opinions as well. She would not be shut out of this simply because of the child.
The seamstress arrived punctually along with two assistants who carried the pieces of the gown, wrapped up in plain brown cloth to protect them. Kate helped Elizabeth out of the dress she was wearing, as the seamstress instructed, and then into the new gown.
Few of the edges of fabric were finished, but as the parts of the gown were revealed, Elizabeth felt her heart begin to race with anticipation. First came a blouse of fine linen with a deep neck. Its sleeves were wide, but would cinch at her wrists. Next she put on a silk underskirt made of the most intense blue she had ever seen. The final garment, though, made everyone gasp. The bottom edge was raw and the waist was slightly too low, but Elizabeth could not help a feeling of awe as she slipped the surcote on over the rest. It was cut from a stunning brocade of white and palest gold.
"There will be gold embroidery on the underskirt, Majesty, so that it does not look so modest in comparison," the seamstress explained, taking in her handiwork. "But I hope the brocade is to your liking."
"It is," Elizabeth assured her, running her hand over the skirt, pleated all around and open in the front. It would have no train, as she planned to dance a great deal at her wedding feast. "I had feared that white would look plain."
The seamstress smiled then, and took from her satchel another carefully wrapped object. "I hope your Majesty will forgive me," she said. "I took the liberty of taking something from your mother's jewels. She wore this at her wedding, and I believe it will suit you and this gown."
Elizabeth took it when offered, and she lifted up the cloth and gasped. In her portrait as a bride, Elizabeth's mother had worn a long gold chain from shoulder to shoulder, set with diamonds and opals. A pendant hung from its center, carrying a large sapphire.
Kate and Elizabeth stared at the exquisite piece for a while, before Elizabeth remembered Laura and moved closer so that she could see it. "It is beautiful, Elizabeth," Laura said. "Your mother's portrait does not do it justice."
Catherine leaned forward from the other side of the bed to see it better. Then she laughed. "I always wondered what became of that," she remarked.
"It must be a prized family heirloom," the seamstress commented.
"Indeed," Catherine replied. "Majesty, this belonged to your grandfather, and countless generations before him. He would wear it with his most formal attire at court."
Elizabeth had to laugh at that as well. "Well, if there is to be any advantage in being queen, it ought to be that we may wear what we like on the day we are wed."
Kate helped Elizabeth to attach it to the shoulders of the surcote. The gold chain was momentarily cool against her skin above the neckline of her blouse, and the pendant hung down just to the top of the fabric. In back, the chain hung down below her waist on either side. "What say you?" Elizabeth asked of the room.
"You will be a most elegant bride," Catherine said. The seamstress nodded her assent.
Elizabeth looked to her friends. Laura reached and squeezed her hand. "You are nothing short of beautiful, Elizabeth," Laura told her.
"I agree," Kate added. "Laura and Teyla and I shall be quite unremarkable in comparison to you."
"As well you should be!" Catherine teased. "Let the bride have her day. Laura has already had her turn, and I dare say you will follow before too long."
Elizabeth glanced at Kate, who was not meeting anyone's gaze. It was not too long ago, after all, that Kate had refused her latest suitor, Jack's son.
Before long Elizabeth had to change back into the dress she had been wearing. The seamstress whisked the unfinished gown away along with her assistants, and the three other ladies stayed a while with Laura. Catherine, in fact, stayed longer, saying she wanted Laura's blunt opinions on wedding matters as well as news about the baby. Elizabeth had to sit with Teyla and Lord David, who were to give her an assessment of their progress with the college.
Late that night, Kate and Elizabeth returned to Laura's chambers. This was becoming a regular event for them. Carson was often elsewhere in the evenings, particularly with the usual illnesses brought on by the cold of winter, which gave the young ladies plenty of time to talk. Tonight, Elizabeth and Kate sat on either side of Laura, and Laura rested her head on Kate's shoulder. "I'm bored," she announced.
Elizabeth and Kate glanced at each other, and they both giggled. "Then I am sorry for you," Elizabeth replied. "I doubt you will have much more excitement before the baby is born."
"I know. The midwife says I should take peace and quiet while I can," Laura said. "Though it is getting difficult to sleep. The baby is always moving about when I try."
Elizabeth reached over and laid her hand against Laura's belly, and she could indeed feel the baby move. "I wonder if that is normal," she mused. "I get little enough sleep as it is. I cannot imagine what it will be like once I am with child."
"Oh, there will be other things to rob your sleep first," Laura assured her. "Although you might not mind so terribly if your husband is chasing you into bed."
"She might be the one to do the chasing," Kate teased.
Elizabeth leaned forward, smiling as she looked at Kate. "You have seen my betrothed, have you not?"
Kate rolled her eyes. "Not all of us are interested in wild hair and elfin ears and all that is your lord betrothed."
"His eyes are kind, and when he loves, he loves deeply," Elizabeth replied, her tone softening. "But I can see your point. I, for instance, would not be too intrigued by a dimpled cheek and broad shoulders."
For once, Kate did not flush, which surprised both the other girls. "I suppose there is no use in denying that. You have both known my weakness for such a man for a long time."
"That is true," Laura said innocently.
"Has he said anything to you?" Elizabeth asked, unable to suppress her curiosity. She knew that Kate had been spending some measure of time alone with Marcus.
"No," Kate said quietly. "But then, he did not say much the first time until it became too obvious to ignore."
"I have heard your very brief recounting of that night, but few details," Laura replied. "What did he say to you when it became too obvious to ignore?"
This time Kate blushed deeply. "Things not fit to repeat to anyone."
Laura pouted in response.
Elizabeth was comforted a little to hear that Kate thought of that courtship as the first time. Of necessity, it implied that there was - or would be - a second. She had not liked seeing her friend so unhappy when the relationship with Marcus ended, but even if this time did not resolve happily, at least Kate would have faced her feelings for him instead of leaving everything so unresolved.
Before long, Laura was yawning, and Kate and Elizabeth were quick to take their leave, promising to have breakfast with her the next morning. Then the two walked back to their chambers, arm in arm. "John's cousin will be married in a few days," Elizabeth said. "He wrote to me in his last letter that he will then travel to Cheyenne to settle some business there, and he will return home after two weeks, if all goes well."
"Are you anxious to have him back?" Kate asked.
"I miss him," Elizabeth replied. "Perhaps anxious is a good description, for I know that when he next returns to Atlantis, it will be for good."
Kate smiled at that, just as they were reaching their door. Elizabeth paused there to speak to Marcus before they retired for the night. It might have been a product of what they had just been talking about, but in the middle of the conversation, Elizabeth realized abruptly that Marcus and Kate were avoiding looking at each other.
She finished the conversation without thinking much about what she was saying. The moment the door was closed between them and the guards, Elizabeth whirled toward her friend in amazement. "What happened?" she demanded, trying to keep from shouting and being overheard.
Kate sighed, but she did not deny it. "We almost kissed," she replied as she headed for the bedroom.
"Where? When?" Following, Elizabeth could not suppress a grin.
"We crossed paths this morning on our way to different errands," Kate explained. "We walked together for a time, and suddenly we were alone in a remote stairwell and we almost kissed."
Elizabeth shook her head, and she moved around Kate to unlace her gown. "What hindered you?"
"An abrupt appearance by Carson Beckett," Kate said darkly. "If he knows what he interrupted, I am sure Laura will know before long."
"So he does not say much," Elizabeth teased. "I rather like it when John does not say much."
"Elizabeth!" Kate said, half shocked and half scolding. She subsided into silence for the moment.
As they finished getting ready for bed, Elizabeth turned thoughtful. "Are you nervous about something happening between you again?" she asked.
"Are you nervous about getting married?" Kate asked in return. She sat down on the bed and made a study of her hands. "I know he is a good man. But we have hurt each other before."
Elizabeth nodded even though Kate was not looking at her. She was relieved beyond the telling to hear Kate admit at last her own complicity in what had happened between her and Marcus. It was not enough to repair all the damage, if that could even be repaired, but it was a start.
"John worries me sometimes," Elizabeth said, coming around to the other side of the bed, drawing curtains as she went. "He is so quick to judge, so quick to anger. There are legitimate concerns as to his suitability to be my husband. A few of the lords who are opposed to the idea have expressed such concerns to me and to others."
Kate turned and lay down next to Elizabeth. "What did you say to them?"
"That there is no man perfectly suited for the task," she replied. "Some of his shortcomings may be overcome with a little patience. But he is loyal, and he loves this country, perhaps more than some who were born to it. I could never marry a man who did not have those qualities in abundance before we were wed."
"So you are saying that I should try to look past Marcus' faults," Kate said flatly, staring up at the canopy above them.
"No," Elizabeth said, forcefully enough to draw Kate's gaze. "If his faults make you miserable, you will never be able to look past them. But bear in mind that you are not perfect either."
"I know." Kate looked away again. "Laura would have made fun before saying anything serious."
"I have not her wit," Elizabeth said, yawning. "Besides, I'm sure she'll have plenty to say in the morning."
Laura did indeed have much to say on the matter, but Elizabeth was obliged to leave her friends the next morning long before she would have liked. The men she had put off the night before were waiting for her in her study. Elizabeth spent most of the following hour listening to them explain to her in overly patient tones that they hoped she had considered her choice of husband thoroughly. After all, her consort would not only advise her in various matters, but he would also have a hand in raising the monarch who would succeed her.
Elizabeth tried her best to give them her full attention, though part of her wanted to roll her eyes at them. She had told Kate the night before that she knew there were viable reasons to doubt John's suitability. She knew that there were a few who were coming to her out of legitimate concern. She could only hope that she could smooth over the worries of the college and they could move on.
As the meeting was ending, there was a knock on the door. David Heightmeyer stepped inside and waited for the others to take their leave. "I thought I might ask how it went with them," he said once the door was closed. He had already met with that group of men some weeks earlier.
Elizabeth rose, hesitating to answer. "Much as we anticipated," she replied. "Is it just me, or are these conversations growing circular?"
David smiled. "To be honest, my lady, given that the official power the college has in this matter is rightly limited, the conversations have always felt circular."
Elizabeth grinned at that but returned to the task at hand. "I am beginning to think it may be time to change the conversation." When he merely raised his eyebrows politely, she nodded for him to sit. "I was thinking of bringing up the matter of John's title with the lords."
David pondered that for a moment. He was not quite as shrewd as Daniel or Teyla, but he was learning. He folded his hands together and leaned back in the chair. "The debate would shift," he realized, "from whether you should marry Lord John to what he will be called."
"Making the marriage itself a foregone conclusion, or something of one at any rate." Elizabeth had been biding her time on bringing this issue forward, but it certainly felt as though all the arguments about her choice of a husband had been made by now.
"For what it is worth, I believe if you asked the college today for their advice on the matter, they would consent to the marriage," David replied. "Most of them are convinced. Probably another dozen more would join because they do not want to oppose a majority. The rest are intractable anyway."
"I know. And I want to thank you for all of your help, Lord David. You have been invaluable to me these last several months."
"I am glad to do my duty, Majesty."
Elizabeth had to smile a little. His words reminded her of someone else. "Kate is a great deal like you, sir."
David bowed his head briefly. "I will take that as a compliment, my lady."
The mention of Kate, however, had brought an odd look to his face, and Elizabeth hesitated to speak again, curious about what was on his mind. He shifted his weight slightly. "Majesty, forgive me for prying, but I have been somewhat concerned about my daughter since Solstice. I know she has not had the best experience with men seeking her favor, but it seemed that she genuinely liked Charles of Neill, and she was upset when she refused him."
Elizabeth struggled for a moment, trying to think of what she could say. "I cannot betray her confidence, my lord," she replied carefully. "But I do not believe she would have been happy with him."
"Not all of us are fortunate enough to have happy marriages," David said, almost to himself. Then he roused himself somewhat. "You, of course, have the advantage of being happily betrothed already."
Elizabeth smiled slightly. "Despite the headache brought by the politics, yes."
"Hopefully that will soon be over, my lady."
With a bow, he took his leave. Elizabeth lingered in her study for a few minutes more, until Peter Grodin arrived at the door. "Am I needed somewhere?" she asked him.
"Lady Catherine has asked if she can join you at luncheon," he replied. "I believe there was some mention of wedding details."
She sighed, which made him smile slightly. "She has been here half a day. I imagine she will have the whole wedding planned by the end of the week."
Catherine did indeed have more particulars of the wedding to discuss over luncheon. Elizabeth was glad to have someone else handling this so that the rest of them could focus on other things, but she imagined that for the time being, such conversations as these would be the prevailing theme of any meal she stopped long enough to eat.
It had not been so with her first wedding. Her time then was dominated by her studies, and the wedding had been a smaller affair. Now her opinion was wanted at every turn, and she could only imagine that it would get worse before midsummer arrived. And it was not as though her days had been carefree before this.
She was looking forward to her honeymoon with the same enthusiasm that any bride as lucky as she would, but it was not just the thought of intimacy with John that made her smile secretly. The prospect of someone else doing all of this work for a few days was almost as welcome.
Just as she was finishing luncheon and getting ready to escape from Lady Catherine's discussion of flowers, Peter returned to the dining room. "My apologies, Majesty, but a party of Caldorans has just arrived."
Elizabeth stood abruptly. "Lord John is not expected for another three weeks at least."
"The marquis is not among the travelers, my lady, though one says he carries a message from him."
Kate and Catherine both followed Elizabeth out of her dining room to the courtyard just inside the gates. These Caldorans looked a little prepared for the temperature, although as spring was drawing near, it was not nearly as cold now as it had been a few weeks earlier. When Elizabeth entered, followed by a contingent of guards and her attendants, the group of men bowed. "Your Majesty," said one man, taking off his hat. "I bear a message from Lord John of Sheppard."
He held out the folded and sealed paper, and she smiled at him graciously. "We thank you, sir. But what brings you to Atlantis?"
"We are a humble troupe of musicians, Majesty," said another man, this one younger than the first. "We have come to play for you, if you like."
"That sounds delightful," Elizabeth replied. As Grodin led them away, she turned to her letter.
My lady,
I know that one of the tasks I left to you was the planning of our wedding day. You have help, of course, but some of it ought to come from me.
This group of musicians played at the ball following my cousin's wedding and coronation. You asked me once if there were any traditions of Caldora I would like to see in our wedding, and I ask you to listen to these men play. You may find their performance intriguing.
John
As Elizabeth folded the letter again, Kate was watching her. "My lady?"
"John sent them," she explained. "We will hear them play."
She had too much to do to hear them in the afternoon, of course, but after supper, when the musicians had had a chance to rest a while, Elizabeth gathered a number of people in her audience chamber. Teyla and Daniel pried themselves away from their business, and Jack came with Sarah, who was not getting as tired as easily as she had been before Solstice, though from some angles the swelling of her stomach was now visible. Elizabeth sat next to Kate, and found herself smiling through much of the performance.
Some of the instruments were familiar; others were not. The sound of them all together was like nothing she had heard before. Elizabeth had always enjoyed being able to hear something new, but as the musicians began their fourth song, she gave a start. She knew this one.
The lutenist noticed the look on her face and stopped the others. "Is something amiss, my lady?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she replied hurriedly. "I know this song. I did not know the others."
"Oh," the man said. "How do you know it?"
"We share a border," she told him with a smile. "I am told that we should not be surprised to share other things as well."
"That is true. What is this song, then, in Atalan?"
Elizabeth curled her nose up. "A song of a man who claims he will die if his beloved does not look from the window and smile at him." She tilted her head slightly, curious. "And in Caldora?"
A few of the musicians were laughing quietly. "Different in details, your Majesty, but not in sentiment," said the man playing the flute.
At that she grinned. "Please, gentlemen, continue."
They started the song again, and before long they had found more songs which the assembled Atalanians also knew. The Caldoran instruments brought something wonderful and new to the familiar tunes. Elizabeth hoped that those of her countrymen still struggling with the idea of their queen wedding a Caldoran might hear these men and their music and lay some part of their prejudice to rest.
At the end of an hour, the musicians took their leave, and most of the others did as well. Catherine and Kate lingered behind. "My lady?" Catherine asked.
"On the morrow, ask them if they would like to join the musicians who will play at my wedding feast," Elizabeth said quietly. "They need not stay in Atlantis until then, but I should like to have them here when I am married."
Catherine nodded. "As you wish."
Elizabeth intended to pose her question to the college earlier than she did, but news of a flood caused by high snow melt and heavy spring rains near Hammond served as a distraction for more than a week. As a result, the chatter about the marriage had died down considerably, for it was early in the year for such warm temperatures.
Still, when she called them to assemble, she knew there was little doubt as to what the purpose of the gathering was. There was a sense of eager anticipation in the room, and it took some time before Lord Benjamin was able to call them to order.
When all was quiet, Hurst looked to Elizabeth. She nodded once. "My lords and ladies," she said, "We have called you here today to ask your consent that, upon our marriage, the title Prince of Atalan be conferred upon our husband."
William Abelson was the first to stand to be recognized. "Majesty," he said, "three years ago, when you were wed to Lord Simon Wallis, he was given only the title prince consort. Is it your opinion that he should have been named prince?"
"Yes," she replied plainly.
In the general murmurs that followed her blunt pronouncement, Teyla stood. "In light of Kinsey's crimes during his regency, I believe anyone can see that nearly any other regent would have been preferred," she said. She did not add that Kinsey surely would have killed Simon anyway, but that had never been proved.
"But Lord Simon was Atalanian," said one of the southern viscounts. "His marriage to the queen was hardly a controversy. Why then should we confer this honor upon a foreigner?"
"We have had news from Redwater," Daniel replied, across the hall. "Lord John has already announced to Caldora's noble assembly that he intends to renounce his claim to the marquisate."
"Intends to," Samuels repeated with just enough insinuation that Elizabeth wanted to roll her eyes at him.
"He is a man of his word, Samuels," Daniel replied darkly, before turning his attention back to the college at large. Elizabeth suppressed a smile at the sight of her cousin defending John so adamantly in public. "Lord John is severing ties with his homeland. I believe it is safe to presume that he considers Atalan his country now."
"The man has done a great deal for Atalan already," Jack said from his seat. "Let us remember: were it not for his bravery and quick-thinking and risk to his own life, the queen might not have survived to reach her throne."
There were many raps against the railing at that, but then Abelson stood again. "Forgive me for my impertinence, Majesty," he said. "The marquis did indeed save your life that day, but he also deceived you. He deceived all of us by concealing his heritage. This does not seem like the act of a man who should be trusted with all the responsibilities that come with the title you wish him to have."
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes slightly, considering the speaker. Abelson had spoken to Jack some weeks ago, expressing his concern, much of which he echoed now. But unlike some who had railed against the marriage, Elizabeth did not believe that he was harboring a grudge. He was not that type of man, so Elizabeth reached for patience. He deserved her respect.
"Lord John explained to us the cause of his deception some time ago," she explained, as calmly as she could. "After what his country had done to him, he had no desire to be known as Caldoran, and was happy to find a new home. We understand your concern, my lord, but we trust him with our life, and with our country."
There was a restless silence as Abelson settled back into his seat not appearing convinced, and Elizabeth looked out across the hall. "Most of you are married and have children," she continued lowly. "Some of you have lost your wives to childbirth. You all know it is dangerous. And you all know that our mother had a great deal of difficulty bearing children, and that she eventually died as a result."
She looked down for a moment, gathering herself. "There is no guarantee that we shall escape a similar fate. If such a thing were to happen, the country would be faced with another regency, perhaps a prolonged one. Knowing this, we do not wish to be so irresponsible as to leave so serious a matter unresolved. With John as Prince of Atalan, there would be no question as to who would serve as regent, no opportunity for a man of dubious motives and scruples to undo everything we have tried to do. We can only come before you with a petition, that you settle this matter now, and leave nothing to chance."
With that she rose and walked through the hall to the main door of the assembly hall, working to keep her emotions in check. She had not entirely intended to handle the matter in this way, but she had said all that she could to the college. Besides, the point of this exercise was not to convince them on this, although Elizabeth's preference was indeed that John be crowned prince and not prince consort. For now, she would accept either decision so long as they moved past the question of whether or not she ought to marry John.
That evening, Elizabeth stood with her cousin at the window of her dining room, where they could see the shipyards. Before too many more weeks passed, the work there would begin anew. But she was not thinking about the politics of her navy just now. She looked down at the ring on her finger and hoped her efforts today would prove fruitful.
"I thought your arguments were very eloquent, cousin," Daniel said to her. "I am hopeful that reason will prevail. For once."
Elizabeth laughed softly at that, but then she noticed the wistful look on his face. Her speech before the assembly had been about her mother's death. She had been told all her life of how close Daniel and Margaret of Langford had been as children, and she realized rather suddenly how painful it must have been for him to hear her speak thus. Besides, Daniel's wife had died in childbirth, along with their son, which would make such conversation all the more difficult.
"I should have given you some warning," she said quietly. "Sometimes thinking about my mother is painful for me too. So many memories I have of her are wrapped up in her being pregnant or losing a child. It must have been so hard."
"It was," Daniel replied. He reached for her hand briefly. "But it may not be so for you. We cannot know what the future holds."
"We know in part," Elizabeth reminded him. "With spring will come thaw, and new life, and ships over the sea. And with the summer will come my wedding day."
Daniel set his arm around her shoulders then and she leaned against him. Outside, tiny beads of water were dripping from the icicles hanging from the eaves. Spring indeed was coming. Soon the ice in the channel would break up and flowers would bloom and she and Kate would not wake up half-frozen every morning. Laura's child would be born, followed not too long after by Sarah's.
And soon, John would be home to stay. For Elizabeth, the days could not pass by swiftly enough.