Thief 1/?
Just a quick bit of humor and fluff in between the writing of my heavier stories, which you should see something of soon. : D Props to whoever catches the Tropic Thunder reference!
Title: Thief 1/?
Author: Ebony Twist
Rating: PG
Pairing: Tony/Pepper
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I can't say that I own them outside of wildly vivid fantasies.
Summary: Tony discovers some disturbing news that Pepper ignores. Tony retaliates appropriately.
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“Is there something you want to tell me?"
Pepper’s hands paused at the keyboard, eyes shifting upwards to meet Tony’s piercing gaze, followed by the body looming rather ominously over her desk.
"Excuse me-”
“Nuh-uh,” he interrupted, wagging a finger at her, “I go to the office to work today, out of the goodness of my heart, and guess what I found in the mail on your desk?”
Goodness of his heart, her ass. He’d wanted to talk Star Trek with the engineering department over suit upgrades. Frowning, her brows furrowed, confusion growing. Had she changed the address for her Cosmo subscription by accident? She had done that once before, refilling her subscription at the end of a particularly long day while on auto-drive, but she had been careful since then to not make the mistake again.
“Haven’t you ever heard that snoopers never find anything they want to see?” she exclaimed, “And really, I have no idea-”
“Why’s there a job offer from Microsoft in your mail?” he accused, crossing his arms petulantly over his chest and rambling forward, “Do you need another raise? Bigger bonuses? A new car? Because I upgraded the audi last month, but I can add some more changes if you want.”
Her face paling beneath her freckles, she shuffled through the papers on her desk before coughing delicately.
The last upgrades had ended with a working supersonic speed button on the car and massage-capable, heated seats. She hadn’t quite worked up the courage to press either button yet.
“The car’s fine, Tony,” she grimaced, “And I’m already better paid than half the board. But I’ve been getting-”
“Is it the work?” he cut her off again, the barest hint of fear escalating in his voice, “Do you want an assistant? More vacation time? Not that you use the days you’ve already got, but I’m sure I could last a week or two if you wanted time off. How about a vacation in the Bahamas? Nah, you'll burn. France? You can take the jet. Or maybe Italy, you like that fancy art stuff, right?”
She tried not to think too hard about how much trouble Tony could get into with in that short span of time and without her there.
“Tony, will you listen to me for a minute?” Pepper interrupted, trying to stop his tirade, “I’ve been getting job offers for years. I used to reply back, but now I tend to just throw them out. It’s really nothing new, and certainly not worth such a fuss.”
Tony blinked. Gaped a bit.
Maybe she should flash her job offers at him more often if they shut him up like this.
“Years?” he said - squeaked almost, in fact, “Years? From who?”
“You already saw Bill Gates. He writes every six months or so-”
“Why that-”
“-Clinton, after that fundraiser you threw him-”
“-backstabbing, snitching little-”
“Grossman, back when he wanted to do that biopic on you-”
“-fucking bastard-”
“And a few others. Tony, I really don’t keep track of how many job offers I’ve gotten.”
He blinked again, before frowning, already starting to sulk. Honestly, there were times she thought toddlers had more maturity.
“But-”
“Tony,” she warned, glaring at him over the top of her screen before smiling softly, “I hate job hunting. I’m not leaving. Can I please at least do my job in peace?”
Later, she would realize she should have been worried when he left without argument.
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