Toxic: Stage One. [ChaBean]
Toxic
1: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation
2: extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful
Fandom: VIXX (non!au)
Pairing: ChaBean
Word Count: 3900+
Rating: R (drug use, sexual content, language)
Summary: A depiction of the events leading up to this.
Stage 1: The First Time
"Voodoo dolls."
The six of them were seated around a large polished wooden table in one of the meetings rooms at their company, the remaining seats occupied by other people of importance within the company: producers, song-writers, visual designers. The CEO stood at the head of the table and had just presented them with their next concept, giving a light-hearted chuckle at the six pairs of intrigued eyes staring back at him. This was to be their darkest one to date, vampires and schizophrenic scientific geniuses seeming awfully tame when up against something that would require them to have a 19+ rating on their music video for the first time ever.
There was no rest when it came to this industry. With new groups debuting monthly you had to keep ahead of the curve, keep your name and group fresh in peoples’ minds. It had only been a week since they ended their last promotions with GR8U and now they were diving back into the dark depths of what had earned them the nickname “concept-dols.”
A tanned hand ran through his dulling crimson hair as Hakyeon scanned each of the members’ faces, able to gauge their feelings through their expressions. Sanghyuk, the baby, delighted he was of age to participate in such a “dangerous” yet thrilling idea. Hongbin, the man with perfectly chiseled features, dimples on full display paired with glistening white teeth as the CEO told him he would be the lead actor for the music video. Wonshik, a small smile on his lips as he was the only one leaning back in his chair, confidence to take on any concept. Jaehwan, cracking a joke about how their fans will make their own dolls of them to sleep with. And last, the ever stoic faced lion, Taekwoon. Even for the leader who had known him the longest he was still as difficult as ever to completely read, but Hakyeon guessed he didn’t care what their concept was so long as he didn’t have to have those extensions painfully reattached to his scalp. As for himself, he was looking forward to trying something bold and unpredictable, delighted in thinking about how shocked his pretty Starlights would be to see this side of them; he hoped they wouldn’t be too frightened.
When they left the meeting, the members already discussing what type of music they’ll be doing, or what type of choreography will capture the magical spell of voodoo, Hongbin listened with warmth in his smile but not in his eyes. He should’ve known he’d be pinned the visual of the video, leading the group by looks and not by talent. As he heard Wonshik discussing the theme of his lyrics while Sanghyuk, ever malleable and ready to listen, nodded in enthusiasm, the other 93-liner couldn’t stop the negative thoughts plaguing him.
Would he even get any lines of value? Did the CEO have enough faith in his singing ability yet to pin more responsibility on him than just to be good-looking? Hongbin thought he proved himself a little by being the only member to successfully execute the infamous yodeling line in GR8U. Then again, how could he measure yodeling to actual falsetto and the endless skills Jaehwan and Taekwoon had; even Hakyeon.
When Hongbin felt a gaze on him, he glanced up to see the leader staring back at him. He offered a smile, hoping it was enough to appease the ever worrisome mother of the group. Hongbin didn’t need a pity party, not when he had plenty of that for himself (complete with lopsided cone hats and gold-foiled horns).
A smile was all that “mom” needed to half skip over to his child, hooking his slender arm through the (much) more muscled one and falling into step next to him; it wasn’t that Hakyeon didn’t have muscle, he was just built much more slender than Hongbin, a dancer’s body made of lean muscle, “Hongbin-ah!” He exclaimed excitedly in a sing-song voice, “you’re going to be a big acting star!” The corners of his lips were fully twisted in a proud smile, doing his best to try and encourage his other member. He wasn’t blind to subtleties, he could see there were thoughts hiding behind that smile Hongbin has tried to pass off as a feeble attempt to reassure him. As a leader, he had learned to “read between the lines” as they say.
“What a big moment this is! After this you’ll be on your way to Hollywood in no time!” A ridiculous statement, even for someone as rambunctious and out-spoken as he was, but as a leader one of his jobs was to cheer his members up, even if they always lied about how much of an annoyance it was to them.
The niceties in the leader’s attempt managed a rueful smile, a quick shake of his head as he easily fell into Hakyeon’s side. Sometimes it was better to submit to the eldest’s antics. “You’d be too sad to send me away.” He afforded a quiet chuckle, at least appreciating the fact that Hakyeon, as bothersome as he could be in his disregard to personal space, was still a comfort.
Upon exiting the building, Hongbin checked his phone. The time was nearing midnight, lighting something within him. “Hey, guys, I gotta meet a friend for some coffee.” The members stopped to observe him for a moment, but he was quick to plaster on that wide, easy smile. Recently he’d been meeting friends late at night, only gone for a couple of hours, returning well enough before dawn to snag the last bit of sleep.
As he slipped out of Hakyeon’s hold, lifting a hand to curtly wave to them, he swiftly turned on his heels to walk down the street towards the darkness.
Being part of a K-Pop group, especially one having a sudden burst of rising popularity, meant your free time was non-existent. You ate in dressing room at the broadcast stations while the coordi noona was delicately sweeping on your eyeliner, slept for a few minutes at the music video sets during individual member scenes while waiting for your turn, and on a day with no schedule, if you were lucky, you would be able to get two or three of hours of “decent” sleep at your dorm once you had finished over 12 hours of practice.
Even though promotions had been over for a week they were still at the studio every night, Hakyeon and Wonshik running choreography drills, Taekwoon and Jaehwan helping expand their vocal ranges, Sanghyuk making trips to the convenience store for snacks and drinks to keep their energy up, and Hongbin…
He might have thought that the late nights had gone unnoticed, that Hakyeon didn’t wake up multiple times a night to check on the other members and find a certain artwork’s bed empty at three am for the third night in a row, that he wasn’t laying in his own bed awake to hear the quiet ‘click’ of their dorm lock sliding back into place and socked feet shuffling across the wooden floor to the bedroom next to his only an hour before they had to be awake.
The leader had decided to give them a rare night off and the rest had returned to the dorm cheerfully to enjoy a full night’s slumber, all except one. Hakyeon was sitting cross-legged on their black leather couch, staring at the empty wall across from him where a television would fit nicely (not that they’d have any time to watch it). A side glance at the hands of the clock rotating on the other side of the room told him it had been five hours since Hongbin had parted ways from the group after their meeting. The phone of his screen illuminated the dark room as he checked it for probably the hundredth time...still no notification from his KakaoTalk, the only thing filling his “Binnie” chatroom were his worries:
“Bin-ah, where are you?”
“Hongbinnie, are you coming back tonight?”
“Answer me or you’ll regret it!”
“Idiot…”
“I’m going to tell all the members about how you sleep with a pink stuffed bunny at home”
“Don’t reply if you’re madly in love with me.”
Normally he had let all of this slide, knowing how difficult things had been for the young boy lately and just figuring he needed to let loose with some friends or spend some time alone; being with the same five testosteroned teenagers definitely took its toll at times. But this time was different, Hongbin had never been out this late before and Hakyeon was growing more and more anxious with each second that ticked by.
He couldn’t just sit here anymore, lifting himself off the couch and stuffing his phone into his pocket, tugging on the pair worn-out street shoes next to the door.
The heavy thrum of the music still pulsed through Hongbin’s veins long after he’d left the club. Pounding through his ears down to the arteries of his heart, the effects of it all were resounding in his system, pervasive and persistent. It clung onto his frame like a parasite, eating at his thoughts and swallowing up his rationality. The smallest of details were noticeable now. The breeze on the corner of his eyes, the leather of the cab seat against the back of his neck--even the bright light outside of the elevator caught his attention, pulled him in like a moth to a flame, mesmerized by the slightest flicker. To him it was bright and strong, emanating an aura that was rhythmic and breath-taking.
This was the first time he’d taken the pill. It was always offered to him, but tonight he went in with no inhibitions, giving no fucks if you would. The way it struck him was unlike the rest. Usually there’d be an instant high, depending on how he consumed it--quick to his head and mildly exhilarating at best. Most of the time they left him feeling weak, lacking control over his own body. It was enough to distract him and give the escape he needed.
But when that colorful pill was offered to him tonight, and the stinging bitterness of it slid over his tongue and down into his throat, it was a slow effect. He was sure it didn’t even hit him until he was leaving. Everything came crashing down onto him at once, shooting him with energy and this unrivaled adrenaline. It was almost overwhelming.
When he made it to the familiar door of the dorm, he stood there for an indefinite amount of time; limbs draped against the wooden frame, forehead cradled in the nook of his forearm. The heat of the crowd still lingered on his skin, crawling up his spine to rouge the tips of his ears. His breathing was unsteady while his heart raced.
Suddenly the door opened, confusion written on Hongbin’s features as he was positive he didn’t press in the code. When his weighted gaze lifted, making out the distinctive features of his leader, he vaguely heard himself exhale, “Hyung.”
“Hongbin!” It was the beginning of winter in Seoul, the temperatures weren’t near their lowest but were cold enough that you needed a jacket when you went out. Hakyeon swore Hongbin had left leaving one yet he was standing outside the door in nothing but his black t-shirt clinging perfectly to his well-toned body, as all his clothes seemed to do, a few darker sweat spots evident, “Where the hell is your jacket? Where have you been? Do you know how worried I was?” Hakyeon was torn between throwing his arms around the younger boy and fawning over him like the mother he was or chopping his thick neck until it bruised, like the leader he was. The longer his eyes lingered on the other’s face he could see that something wasn’t right, he needed to get him inside, “Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”
When their eyes had met he immediately knew Hongbin was on something, having studied those large brown orbs for the last three years enough to know when something was hidden behind them, when they weren’t focusing completely like in this moment. His arm slipped around Hongbin’s waist as he guided him into their dorm, shutting the door quietly behind them. He made sure he was balanced against the door before crouching down and untying his dongsaeng’s shoes, tossing them off in the pile with the multitude of other pairs, before reclaiming the unkempt male and leading him to his own room, “You’re sleeping in my room tonight. And I don’t want to hear a damn fuss about it.” He didn’t want Jaehwan asking questions; the boy was too curious for his own good sometimes, and he talked enough as it was. He knew Taekwoon, his roommate, wouldn’t question anything, enjoying his silence, solitude and privacy enough that he never intruded on anyone else’s either.
Hongbin could feel Hakyeon's arm burning through the thin cotton of his shirt. The older male felt warm, sturdy and inviting. Without protest, his head slumped against the other's inner shoulder, walking with footsteps heavier than he intended. It was a blur, too much to focus on for him to properly process what was happening. Before he knew it, he was being precariously lowered onto a rolled out futon. "Hyung..." he mumbled, the loss of contact magnified, leaving him cold and already yearning for the other's presence again. The lights were off, save for the one from the living room snaking in along the floor. He heard movement and whispering from the other side of the room, then suddenly there was rustling of sheets and two sets of footsteps heading to the door.
Finally the light from outside was closing off, shrouding them in darkness too thick to adjust to yet. Hongbin could only guess Hakyeon sent Taekwoon out, probably so they could both have their own futon--or to keep his condition secret. That thought alone irked him, that Hakyeon felt it necessary to watch him like a fragile child who was going to crack any second. What did the other know about him?
The padding of the futon shifted behind him, and there were hands on him, tugging at his clothes. Fingertips that were searing on his lower abdomen tried to peel the garment off of him, fibers damp from hours of getting lost to the music then chilled from the early winter wind. But all he could think about was how sensitive his skin was to that touch, how it caused him to ache from his core while his heart tried to climb out of his throat, only to successfully let the word drawl out again, "Hyung."
Hongbin's hands reached up to grab the other pair, stilling them, leaving them paused at his ribcage that rose and fell from his uneven breathing. Despite how heavy his lids were, he felt so alive and aware of Hakyeon above him. "Hyung, touch me," he whispered the words, dry on his tongue as he hastily licked his lips after. One of his hands wavered as it inched one set of those fingertips down his exposed abdomen, a sigh leaving him at how that simple touch was kindling embers of a familiar burn. A wanting burn.
Hakyeon was thankful his lifelong friend was so understanding about the situation and willing to sleep on the couch for the night; the leader knew he was going to owe him a lot of coffee for this. Now that that was settled he could focus on getting Hongbin out of those sweaty and wet clothes and tucked under the warm cocoon of blankets, or so he thought.
If there was ever a time Hakyeon was thankful for his dark skin and all the ridicule it came with it was now, able to hide the light shade of rose that heated his cheeks. Light blushes didn’t show easily on tanned skin and were invisible when coupled with the darkness they were engulfed in. His eyesight was still adjusting to the dark room but he didn’t need to see to be able to know exactly how flawlessly shaped Hongbin’s abs were; he had seen them plenty: changing rooms, backstages, walking through the dorm on full display after a shower. More than once he had caught himself staring and always told himself it was out of jealousy, perhaps some admiration? His own stomach was flat, toned, but it lacked the lines he felt his fingers being guided along, the crevices carving those flawless muscles of his stomach. More than once he had also caught himself thinking about what it would be like to feel those muscles, feel them moving beneath his delicate touch, to kiss-
He stopped himself, giving a furious shake of his head that tussled his red locks as he quickly freed his hand from the other’s grip; now wasn’t the time, “I-I am, you’re ice cold. You need to get warmed up or you’ll get sick. We start practice tomorrow...well, in a few hours.” His voice was a bit shaky, exhaling deeply as he spoke, unaware he had been holding his breath. He couldn’t bring himself to look Hongbin in the eyes as he finished undressing him, trying to avoid touching any exposed skin, which was near impossible. It was if Hakyeon had been shuffling across a carpet before touching Hongbin because any time he happened to brush against a bare piece of flesh it was if he was experiencing a minor electrical shock, unable to hold his body against flinching slightly.
An exasperated and tired sigh passed his lips once he had Hongbin down to his boxers, grabbing both of the blankets on his bed and securing the other, “You’re like a Bin-burrito.” His teeth flashed as he laughed at his own lame remark, hoping to extinguish some of the tension he felt lingering between them though he was certain it wasn’t the type of tension that could be eased away with the cracking of a joke.
The joke registered, still able to scoff at the attempt, lips quirking up at the sides. It lasted for a short second though as a dizzying wave swept through his head, rendering him light-headed. With the blankets tucked around him, he knew he should try and shake the effects off. Figuring with time, by waiting it out, the flames of this hot ache would extinguish.
He listened as the bed lost the extra weight, hearing Hakyeon shuffle around, possibly taking over Taekwoon’s. The background noise quickly faded and Hongbin drowned in his own thoughts: how the blanket acted like a furnace, retaining all of his heat and suffocating him in it. Then invisible hands drawing over his body, clawing at his stomach, his sides, his back, his thighs.He kept craving some type of touch, some type of release.
Before he let it process, he had turned onto his stomach, still gloved in the blankets. As the surface of his skin crawled, he dismissed the presence of the other male in the room entirely, solely focused on his own need. A hand inched down to his boxers, palming himself carelessly through the material. “Fuck,” he cursed out, discovering he was already so hard. While his forehead nudged into the pillow, his knees bracing into the mattress, he started rocking his hips into his hand. The friction rippled through his limbs like wildfire.
The next moment his hand was within his boxers, soft moans catching in the sheets as he let himself revel in the tension building, escalating towards the release he needed. He didn’t stop, didn’t consider there was another warm body witnessing this. His hand was sweaty, or maybe it was the generous amount of pre-cum lubricating his hold. As he grew closer to his climax, his other hand gripping hard into the the pillow above his head, he rutted himself harder and harder into the fist of his hand. When it finally seized him, his whole body tensed and shuddered as he cried out, the feeling seemingly lasting hours, intensified by the nectar in his system. After it eventually passed, he collapsed onto the bed boneless, quietly panting as his head still swarmed. Sleep quickly raked him in soon after.
Knowing he wouldn’t be able to shut his eyes until he was sure his temporary roommate was fully settled and asleep, he lay on his side and watched his bed, waiting for that light, soft breathing and still shadow of the mound of blankets. Yet what he saw, or rather heard, weren’t the sounds of someone drifting off into a peaceful slumber but they were all too familiar to him.
Things like this were bound to happen when you had six teenage boys stuck together almost 24/7 with no time to interact with members of the opposite sex outside of meetings at broadcast stations, and with that pubescent territory came some unwritten rules: if you heard sounds coming from the room next to yours, or even the bed next to yours, that weren’t laughter, crying, or pain, you just stuck your headphones in and turned up the volume on your music. If you walked in and surprised another member doing his business, you immediately retreated without a single word. If someone was taking a little extra time in the shower, you let them. And the most important rule of all: you never talked about it.
Hakyeon was no stranger to the sounds of masturbation. Him and Taekwoon had even developed something almost like a schedule during the week where they would know to give the other a little extra time before getting ready for bed. Hell, he’d even walked in on Wonshik on more than one occasion. Something about this was different though, the panting breaths from Hongbin didn’t just vibrate his eardrums they were shaking through his body and settling in his groin. As if the aching pulse of his growing erection wasn’t bad enough, the memory recorder in his mind was stuck on repeat of the far too attractive young man sliding his fingers down his far too perfect body with whispers of “Hyung, touch me”.
All need for sleep was thrown aside when he heard the finishing moans of a climax, his boxers fully tented as he kicked his sheets from his far too hot body, stumbling with the mess of covers around his feet as he rushed from the bedroom and into the bathroom off the living room. Him and Taekwoon had a bathroom connected to their room but the proximity was too close for comfort to a certain someone.
A hiss passed his parted lips as the cold spray pricked his body like thousands of tiny icicles, trying to shake the image of Hongbin’s outline driving itself against the mattress from his mind. Hakyeon lost all track of time as he fought off the urge to touch himself, willing the cold water to work faster; jacking off with the members around was one thing, but jacking off with one of them in mind…
“Cha-hyuuuuuuung!!” Jaehwan’s shrill voice piercing through his clouded mind startled him. How long had he been in the shower? The other members must have gotten themselves up without him this time, “If you used up all the hot water I’m going to make you have a One Piece marathon with me!”
Finally feeling back in his right mind now that things had literally settled down, he just smiled at the threat, “Don’t worry Jaehwanie, the water is plenty hot since I’m in here!” He could feel Jaehwan rolling his eyes from the other side of the door.
The most important rule: you don’t talk about it. That part was going to be easy enough, but how the hell was he supposed to face seeing Hongbin?
Stage 2.
a/n: "We want to apologize in advance and warn you that you shouldn't try and predict anything for this story, it will only end in heartbreak." ~Mars
"I only said three words and then Mars was the one who dragged me into this gaping blackhole of electrifying ChaBean."~JKun
"But really please let us know what you think! Comments, critique, all is welcome! And thank you for reading!" ~Mars