Shipping meme
The Shipping meme! As performed by Tuna and Squit, who really have a lot of opinions.
SIX PAIRINGS I LIKE:
1. Vash/Wolfwood
2. Ban/Ginji
3. Hikaru/Akira
4. Zoro/Sanji
5. Jack/Rei
6. Shinji/Kaworu
THREE SHIPS I'VE ABANDONED:
7. Inui/Kaidoh (and most other PoT pairings)
8. Juubei/Kazuki
9. Kiba/Tsume
ﾠ
THREE SHIPS I'VE NEVER LIKED:
10. Duo/Wufei
11. Tsume/Toboe
12. Sendoh/Hanamichi
ﾠ
Outtake: 12.5
Heero/Trowa -
"... how do you feel about suicide?"ﾠ"
... *grunt*"
ﾠ"Yeah, me too."ﾠ
... *holds hands*
TWO SHIPS THAT HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST:
13. Saitou/Pazu
14. Jin/Mugen
ﾠ
Questions!
1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?
Hmm. Where do I start.
i. Toboe has no cock.
ii. Toboe wears bracelets in canon, JANGLY bracelets. (AND HAS NO COCK.)
iii. Everytime I see people fangirling this pairing, I think : YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO FANGIRL KIBA/TSUME, STOOPID.
iv. Toboe cries all the goddamn time.
v. Also, he's useless.
vi. Kiba/Tsume would be SO GOOD together and the fandom chooses to settle for water when they could have ambrosia. I mean, just think of the porn!
vii. We could really go on forever, but we'd prefer to go on to #2.
ﾠ2. Who do you know that ships #13?
ﾠ...No one? Really, I can hear the massive deafening silence echoing here. Firstly, very few people (who are rabid yaoi fans) watch GiTS and all the associated spinoffs with the same dedication that we do. And second, even if they did it wouldn't be for the sizzling hot man-chemistry.
ﾠ3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?
ﾠSince our ideal scenario for Hikaru/Akira left Akira with his hair wet on a pillow and Hikaru hovering over him SINCE 2005, I think it's safe to say that we would like Hikaru to move so that Akira can get off the pillow, dry his hair, and MOVE ON WITH LIFE.
ﾠOur universe was generated in order for them to have sex, or really, a relationship in a plausible manner. I think by now the characters have independently moved in and adopted dogs or goldfish together.
ﾠ4. What if your favourite moment for #1?
ﾠSince we love the Vash and Wolfwood so much (it is not unreasonable to say that this is our defining pairing) we're going to list ALL the canons, our universes and BOTH the happy and sad ones.
ﾠAnime
ﾠTuna Happiest moment: When Wolfwood came to get Vash while he was hiding out.
Tuna Saddest moment: When Wolfwood is thinking of Vash right before he dies.
ﾠSquit Happiest moment: When the two of them were shaking hands at high speed in their retarded fashion on the bus.
Squit Saddest moment: When Vash and Wolfwood fight after Zazie's death at the hands of Wolfwood.
ﾠSquit & Tuna Happiest moment: The spaghetti fight!
ﾠ
Manga
ﾠSquit and Tuna Happiest moment: It's one of the covers, where the two of them are roasting in the desert side by side, because they're so badass.
Squit and Tuna Saddest moment: When Vash looks up at Livio over his plate of fried rice, waving a spoon. He says "Yo."ﾠ
5. How long have you been following couple #6?
ﾠSince last century (???) Given the temporal dynamics of this show plus our universes, since before we were born.
ﾠ6. What is the story with #8? What made you stop caring?
ﾠToshiki. Also Kazuki became annoying. Also Jubei was too passive-aggressive.
ﾠ7. What ship do you prefer - #2 or #4?
ﾠWe thought it would be an issue, but no contest. #4, Zoro and Sanji. Why? Because the porn value is higher than with Ban and Ginji. For one thing, I've seen much better ZoSan porn than BanGin porn. Let me rephrase that, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY BANGIN porn that was worth my time.
ﾠ8. You have the power to make one ship non-existent. Choose from #10 or #12.
ﾠWell, we'd have to go with #10, because it annoys us a lot (really, if only you could hear the shouting we're doing at the screen). For one thing, Sendou/Hanamichi is not as threatening as Duo/Wufei, because the show doesn't force any of the pilots to interact with their True Love for extended periods of time.
ﾠWe have a LOT of reasons for this.
ﾠWufei is not interchangeable with Heero. They don't have the same personality, or the same motivations, or the same values or even the same ideals that drive them to pilot gundams. This changes the fundamental dynamics of the relationship with Duo.
ﾠ(We'll let Tuna take a break and breathe while I get on with my part)
ﾠBefore anything I think what Wufei obsesses about are things that are completely incomprehensible to Duo. His internal conflicts, and there are a LOT of those, his self-doubts, his motivations for revenge, his guilt...all these things are trapped inside him because he's a repressed kind of person. Which is why, beyond the impossibility of it all, I ship the 13x5 pairing and generated not one but two universes so that my favourite guy of all time could get the truw wuv.
ﾠAlso, I think that Heero and Duo can understand each other a lot better than Wufei could.
ﾠI mean, we have to delve really deeply into Wufei psyche and his inner demons (hello anyone watched Endless Waltz? It was ALL about him not being able to GET OVER IT). And we'd be here forever if I went on so we're moving on.
ﾠ9. What interests you about #14?
ﾠPORN. (See later for extreme detail)
ﾠ10. When did you stop liking #7?
ﾠAfter the series showed no signs of ending. It lacked movement/closure/progression/respectability. I don't respect the show, or the characters in it any more. How much maturity can you hope to keep attaining by being a really gay person in shorts beating a magical ball around?ﾠ
I make an exception for Akutsu/Kawamura, because they at least have the sense to bow out gracefully. (We both stopped reading the manga so we still have respect for them).ﾠ
Also PORN. Because Akutsu has the menace and Kawamura has the backbone.
ﾠ
11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the series?
ﾠOur interest most assuredly did not wane. It was a combination of Tsume/Toboe (we hate it SO MUCH) and the series was weird. Personally I hated the art.
ﾠ12. What's a song that reminds you of #5?
ﾠ"A Case Of You" Opinion is divided over which cover is better, but I'm trying to swing Tuna over to the k.d. lang side of things.
ﾠ13. Which of these ships do you love the most right now?
ﾠVash/Wolfwood. No fight, no contest. Always.
ﾠ14. Which do you dislike the most?
ﾠStill Duo/Wufei.
ﾠ15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?
ﾠWe are telepathic. Zoro/Sanji and Vash/Wolfwood. CAN YOU NOT SEE IT ALREADY? Sanji would cook, Zoro would insult him (and get kicked in the face for his trouble). The doorbell would ring, and then Vash and Wolfwood would come stumbling in with bedraggled daisies for the table and whiskey for them all, and and we're writing this for fic so there's no point telling you guys anyway.
ﾠ16. Have #2 kissed yet? Elaborate if yes.
ﾠDoes it matter?
ﾠ17. Does #4 have a happy ending? Elaborate if yes.
ﾠIt's difficult to say. Our ideas of happy ending differ. I think there's issues with Sanji's stability, while Tuna thinks that they'll part to do their own thing, then go back and grow old together.
ﾠ18. What would make you start shipping #14?
ﾠVehemently? If someone starts writing the good kinky porno. For example, I (squit) have two scenarios. One is there they have to infiltrate a sekkrit club of super rich people who like to debauch young virgins. The young male love interest of onesuch virgin who was kidnapped comes to Jin and Mugen and Fuu to ask for help. Fuu being a sop, agrees with no thought as to what this rescue process would entail. Hence, Jin and Mugen have to infiltrate it. The next morning, Jin disappears. Mugens spends a long time cursing the air blue, and then proceeds to the city, where he is promptly recruited as a member of the debauchery party because he looks suitably evil and perverted and horny.
ﾠCue: Mugen having the time of his life (it entails him having many many orgies with nubile young women while these rich people, who are obviously impotent, watch and offer suggestions, which he MUST obey).
ﾠThe third night, as he is having the time of his life, one of the rich people (his patron) says there will be an addition to the night's programme. Cue Jin.
ﾠMugen tries not to react, but fails. Mostly because the command is given out to a nubile young woman to pierce him in unmentionable locations using various gold and jade pins. These pins are handed out one by one by Jin, who is carrying them on a tray. Also, stone face.
ﾠThat night is particularly well received by everyone except Jin and of course Mugen.
ﾠThe next night Jin is ordered to do various unmentionable things to Mugen, who pretends that he's never met this guy in the first place, much less sworn to be the guy who kills him. This of course leads to various stifled physical reactions which depraved rich people love.
ﾠAnd so on.
ﾠ(I told you this pairing makes me think of nonstop porn)
ﾠ19. If only one could happen, which would you prefer--#2 or #6?
ﾠLet's see. #2 is codependent and #6's Kaworu's existence is all about the Shinji. We couldn't unmake either one if we TRIED.
ﾠBut otherwise Shinji/Kaworu.
20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?ﾠ
Duo: *turns to Wufei one day* "You know, man, I think I love you."
Wufei: *head explodes*
Duo: "Kidding, kidding." XD
ﾠ
But seriously I'd expect them to go to their ONE TRUW WUVS and fling themselves at their feet for respective OTWs to take them back.
SIX PAIRINGS I LIKE:
1. Vash/Wolfwood
2. Ban/Ginji
3. Hikaru/Akira
4. Zoro/Sanji
5. Jack/Rei
6. Shinji/Kaworu
THREE SHIPS I'VE ABANDONED:
7. Inui/Kaidoh (and most other PoT pairings)
8. Juubei/Kazuki
9. Kiba/Tsume
ﾠ
THREE SHIPS I'VE NEVER LIKED:
10. Duo/Wufei
11. Tsume/Toboe
12. Sendoh/Hanamichi
ﾠ
Outtake: 12.5
Heero/Trowa -
"... how do you feel about suicide?"ﾠ"
... *grunt*"
ﾠ"Yeah, me too."ﾠ
... *holds hands*
TWO SHIPS THAT HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST:
13. Saitou/Pazu
14. Jin/Mugen
ﾠ
Questions!
1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?
Hmm. Where do I start.
i. Toboe has no cock.
ii. Toboe wears bracelets in canon, JANGLY bracelets. (AND HAS NO COCK.)
iii. Everytime I see people fangirling this pairing, I think : YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO FANGIRL KIBA/TSUME, STOOPID.
iv. Toboe cries all the goddamn time.
v. Also, he's useless.
vi. Kiba/Tsume would be SO GOOD together and the fandom chooses to settle for water when they could have ambrosia. I mean, just think of the porn!
vii. We could really go on forever, but we'd prefer to go on to #2.
ﾠ2. Who do you know that ships #13?
ﾠ...No one? Really, I can hear the massive deafening silence echoing here. Firstly, very few people (who are rabid yaoi fans) watch GiTS and all the associated spinoffs with the same dedication that we do. And second, even if they did it wouldn't be for the sizzling hot man-chemistry.
ﾠ3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?
ﾠSince our ideal scenario for Hikaru/Akira left Akira with his hair wet on a pillow and Hikaru hovering over him SINCE 2005, I think it's safe to say that we would like Hikaru to move so that Akira can get off the pillow, dry his hair, and MOVE ON WITH LIFE.
ﾠOur universe was generated in order for them to have sex, or really, a relationship in a plausible manner. I think by now the characters have independently moved in and adopted dogs or goldfish together.
ﾠ4. What if your favourite moment for #1?
ﾠSince we love the Vash and Wolfwood so much (it is not unreasonable to say that this is our defining pairing) we're going to list ALL the canons, our universes and BOTH the happy and sad ones.
ﾠAnime
ﾠTuna Happiest moment: When Wolfwood came to get Vash while he was hiding out.
Tuna Saddest moment: When Wolfwood is thinking of Vash right before he dies.
ﾠSquit Happiest moment: When the two of them were shaking hands at high speed in their retarded fashion on the bus.
Squit Saddest moment: When Vash and Wolfwood fight after Zazie's death at the hands of Wolfwood.
ﾠSquit & Tuna Happiest moment: The spaghetti fight!
ﾠ
Manga
ﾠSquit and Tuna Happiest moment: It's one of the covers, where the two of them are roasting in the desert side by side, because they're so badass.
Squit and Tuna Saddest moment: When Vash looks up at Livio over his plate of fried rice, waving a spoon. He says "Yo."ﾠ
5. How long have you been following couple #6?
ﾠSince last century (???) Given the temporal dynamics of this show plus our universes, since before we were born.
ﾠ6. What is the story with #8? What made you stop caring?
ﾠToshiki. Also Kazuki became annoying. Also Jubei was too passive-aggressive.
ﾠ7. What ship do you prefer - #2 or #4?
ﾠWe thought it would be an issue, but no contest. #4, Zoro and Sanji. Why? Because the porn value is higher than with Ban and Ginji. For one thing, I've seen much better ZoSan porn than BanGin porn. Let me rephrase that, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY BANGIN porn that was worth my time.
ﾠ8. You have the power to make one ship non-existent. Choose from #10 or #12.
ﾠWell, we'd have to go with #10, because it annoys us a lot (really, if only you could hear the shouting we're doing at the screen). For one thing, Sendou/Hanamichi is not as threatening as Duo/Wufei, because the show doesn't force any of the pilots to interact with their True Love for extended periods of time.
ﾠWe have a LOT of reasons for this.
ﾠWufei is not interchangeable with Heero. They don't have the same personality, or the same motivations, or the same values or even the same ideals that drive them to pilot gundams. This changes the fundamental dynamics of the relationship with Duo.
ﾠ(We'll let Tuna take a break and breathe while I get on with my part)
ﾠBefore anything I think what Wufei obsesses about are things that are completely incomprehensible to Duo. His internal conflicts, and there are a LOT of those, his self-doubts, his motivations for revenge, his guilt...all these things are trapped inside him because he's a repressed kind of person. Which is why, beyond the impossibility of it all, I ship the 13x5 pairing and generated not one but two universes so that my favourite guy of all time could get the truw wuv.
ﾠAlso, I think that Heero and Duo can understand each other a lot better than Wufei could.
ﾠI mean, we have to delve really deeply into Wufei psyche and his inner demons (hello anyone watched Endless Waltz? It was ALL about him not being able to GET OVER IT). And we'd be here forever if I went on so we're moving on.
ﾠ9. What interests you about #14?
ﾠPORN. (See later for extreme detail)
ﾠ10. When did you stop liking #7?
ﾠAfter the series showed no signs of ending. It lacked movement/closure/progression/respectability. I don't respect the show, or the characters in it any more. How much maturity can you hope to keep attaining by being a really gay person in shorts beating a magical ball around?ﾠ
I make an exception for Akutsu/Kawamura, because they at least have the sense to bow out gracefully. (We both stopped reading the manga so we still have respect for them).ﾠ
Also PORN. Because Akutsu has the menace and Kawamura has the backbone.
ﾠ
11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the series?
ﾠOur interest most assuredly did not wane. It was a combination of Tsume/Toboe (we hate it SO MUCH) and the series was weird. Personally I hated the art.
ﾠ12. What's a song that reminds you of #5?
ﾠ"A Case Of You" Opinion is divided over which cover is better, but I'm trying to swing Tuna over to the k.d. lang side of things.
ﾠ13. Which of these ships do you love the most right now?
ﾠVash/Wolfwood. No fight, no contest. Always.
ﾠ14. Which do you dislike the most?
ﾠStill Duo/Wufei.
ﾠ15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?
ﾠWe are telepathic. Zoro/Sanji and Vash/Wolfwood. CAN YOU NOT SEE IT ALREADY? Sanji would cook, Zoro would insult him (and get kicked in the face for his trouble). The doorbell would ring, and then Vash and Wolfwood would come stumbling in with bedraggled daisies for the table and whiskey for them all, and and we're writing this for fic so there's no point telling you guys anyway.
ﾠ16. Have #2 kissed yet? Elaborate if yes.
ﾠDoes it matter?
ﾠ17. Does #4 have a happy ending? Elaborate if yes.
ﾠIt's difficult to say. Our ideas of happy ending differ. I think there's issues with Sanji's stability, while Tuna thinks that they'll part to do their own thing, then go back and grow old together.
ﾠ18. What would make you start shipping #14?
ﾠVehemently? If someone starts writing the good kinky porno. For example, I (squit) have two scenarios. One is there they have to infiltrate a sekkrit club of super rich people who like to debauch young virgins. The young male love interest of onesuch virgin who was kidnapped comes to Jin and Mugen and Fuu to ask for help. Fuu being a sop, agrees with no thought as to what this rescue process would entail. Hence, Jin and Mugen have to infiltrate it. The next morning, Jin disappears. Mugens spends a long time cursing the air blue, and then proceeds to the city, where he is promptly recruited as a member of the debauchery party because he looks suitably evil and perverted and horny.
ﾠCue: Mugen having the time of his life (it entails him having many many orgies with nubile young women while these rich people, who are obviously impotent, watch and offer suggestions, which he MUST obey).
ﾠThe third night, as he is having the time of his life, one of the rich people (his patron) says there will be an addition to the night's programme. Cue Jin.
ﾠMugen tries not to react, but fails. Mostly because the command is given out to a nubile young woman to pierce him in unmentionable locations using various gold and jade pins. These pins are handed out one by one by Jin, who is carrying them on a tray. Also, stone face.
ﾠThat night is particularly well received by everyone except Jin and of course Mugen.
ﾠThe next night Jin is ordered to do various unmentionable things to Mugen, who pretends that he's never met this guy in the first place, much less sworn to be the guy who kills him. This of course leads to various stifled physical reactions which depraved rich people love.
ﾠAnd so on.
ﾠ(I told you this pairing makes me think of nonstop porn)
ﾠ19. If only one could happen, which would you prefer--#2 or #6?
ﾠLet's see. #2 is codependent and #6's Kaworu's existence is all about the Shinji. We couldn't unmake either one if we TRIED.
ﾠBut otherwise Shinji/Kaworu.
20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?ﾠ
Duo: *turns to Wufei one day* "You know, man, I think I love you."
Wufei: *head explodes*
Duo: "Kidding, kidding." XD
ﾠ
But seriously I'd expect them to go to their ONE TRUW WUVS and fling themselves at their feet for respective OTWs to take them back.