NaNo 2013 excerpt: Dead Rain, EXCERPT 2
This is from later in the book. I've been having a hell of a time focusing on my NaNo story. It's been boring me to write for whatever reason. This below scene is okay, although I obviously have done zero editing.
When the Rain hit, it was without warning.
The clouds had been gathering all day, starting a pure white and turning over time into a deep grey and eventually a heavy black. They heard it afar at first; a sheet of Rain that poured down and, faster than seemed possible, swept across the land. Everywhere in sight, the light was filtered into something grimy and muffled, and every window and door was sealed tightly shut.
The Meninessi watched from their covered wagons, parked against a building to shelter from potential wind. The toxic water came down so fast it was nearly impossible to see through the glass, not without blurring everything behind it.
There was no wind, no change in color of the water-- nothing to separate this Dead Rain from any other summer storm, except the word of the Prophet and the consequences of being infected by even a drop of the water.
"Strange, isn't it?"
Era shifted her view to Melana's reflection in the window. She was still seated next to Era, a warm mug of tea resting on her thighs and cupped in her hands.
"What is?"
"The Rain." Melana gestured lazily to the window. "When I was a child, I used to love the rain. If it started slow, on summer days I would run out and lie down where it was still dry. If I stayed there long enough and then stood back, it left funny shapes, that dry patch against the wet."
"Much different now," Era agreed.
Melana made a noise in the back of her throat. "Now the children run even if it isn't Dead Rain. They're too afraid it will hurt them."
"Better to be cautious, in this case."
"Better," Melana allowed, "but still sad."
When the Rain hit, it was without warning.
The clouds had been gathering all day, starting a pure white and turning over time into a deep grey and eventually a heavy black. They heard it afar at first; a sheet of Rain that poured down and, faster than seemed possible, swept across the land. Everywhere in sight, the light was filtered into something grimy and muffled, and every window and door was sealed tightly shut.
The Meninessi watched from their covered wagons, parked against a building to shelter from potential wind. The toxic water came down so fast it was nearly impossible to see through the glass, not without blurring everything behind it.
There was no wind, no change in color of the water-- nothing to separate this Dead Rain from any other summer storm, except the word of the Prophet and the consequences of being infected by even a drop of the water.
"Strange, isn't it?"
Era shifted her view to Melana's reflection in the window. She was still seated next to Era, a warm mug of tea resting on her thighs and cupped in her hands.
"What is?"
"The Rain." Melana gestured lazily to the window. "When I was a child, I used to love the rain. If it started slow, on summer days I would run out and lie down where it was still dry. If I stayed there long enough and then stood back, it left funny shapes, that dry patch against the wet."
"Much different now," Era agreed.
Melana made a noise in the back of her throat. "Now the children run even if it isn't Dead Rain. They're too afraid it will hurt them."
"Better to be cautious, in this case."
"Better," Melana allowed, "but still sad."