[ hg ] masked surrender.
masked surrender
gale hawthorne. gale/katniss, implied peeta/katniss
post-hunger games!au. it's one of those things that could've been, but you refuse to acknowledge it now.
When he sees her for the first time in years, he finds that more has changed than he realised. He feels the same as when he did before the Peacekeepers dragged him away from Katniss the last time before the first Hunger Games, anxious and desperate and high on adrenaline. His breath is short and he only has a few minutes to see her, and he refuses to waste his time with anger and grudges and a cold facade of indifference.
(because he just does not have time for that and he wants her to remember the days in District 12, each precious Sunday, each moment and)
"Catnip," he says, and it is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.
He sees her eyes flicker with nostalgia and an ancient weariness masks her face. She is tired of all of this and he is only making it worse. Swallowing tightly, he corrects himself. "Katniss. Katniss, I -"
(iloveyouiloveyouiloveyoupleasedon'tdothis)
The words do not come out.
And then she smiles, and it's the smile she uses for the Capitol, for the cameras, for the audience that watches her constantly and it hurts him. Gale stares at her -
(fake and smiling and beautiful)
- and she has all of Katniss's features, but he can't recognise her at all. She distances herself, walks only a few steps and she treats him as if he is a stranger. He doesn't want this - he wants her to forget, even for two seconds, he wants her to hug and squeeze the breath out of his lungs, he wants her to just say his name, if only once.
"Hello," she greets, and the kindness in her voice is genuine. He doesn't fall for the facade and stares at her penetrably. Her mask slips just a little. "How is -" her voice catches and she takes a moment to compose herself, "your family? Is Hazelle doing well?"
He ignores her practised questions and
(practised, because he knows she's prepared herself for this and each movement is calculated, no consequence allowed and the Capitol has her right under their thumb)
"Katniss," he says.
Her voice rises in pitch, slowly at first, but he can see that she is breaking. "And - and Rory, Vick and Posy? They aren't applying for tessarae now, are -"
"Katniss." His voice is almost pleading, and he takes a step towards her. She instantly slides back and for the first time, he notices that she's trembling, and for a moment she sees the Katniss he used to know - human and strong and so utterly defiant - someone that would not go through with this.
"Please," she finally whispers, throat closing, a familiar redness rimming her eyes. This is another characteristic of before
(her pure spirit became red, splattered and tainted with blood and she has become a true fighter, a hunter, a bird trapped in a cage and he does not want this for her)
and Gale finds a sick, twisted pleasure in seeing it. "Don't do this to me. Not now, not now Gale." She almost has to force his name out and as despaired as she sounds, it still runs a shiver down his spine. Nothing has changed, and everything has changed.
"Why did you come here?"
Gale swallows thickly. "Why wouldn't I? You - I - we're -"
"Nothing. We're nothing," Katniss cuts him off, and for a moment they are both silent. Gale looks stricken, breath whooshing out of his lungs.
(he can't breathe anymore, and her rejection, as fake as it is, hurts too much)
"You should go."
He still doesn't say anything. He gives her a hard look and strides right up to her, inches apart. She tries to step back but ends up standing against the wall. Katniss opens her mouth to tell him to leave again, but suddenly, he raises his hand and she is quiet. His fingers hover over her forehead, almost brushing her cheek and pushing back curly strands of hair. He looks right in her eyes but doesn't move any closer, doesn't kiss her, doesn't touch her and steps back before she can do anything.
(her cheeks flush and her breathing quickens, lips parting in anticipation and her eyes filled with want and love and conflict and she is all too tempting)
His face crumples for a split second and he rests his forehead on her shoulder, abruptly exhausted. "Gale -"
"Don't go," he whispers, and repeats her words. "Don't do this to me, Catnip, Katniss, please, I need - I need you, I lo-"
Footsteps sound in the hallway and he draws back in a flash, not looking at her.
Katniss leans against the wall, sliding down a little, looking shocked and hurt and -
"Congratulations," Gale tells her in a strangled sort of smirk as her stylist, Cinna, breezes past him. He takes one glance at her makeup, in desperate need of retouching, at her expression, and at Gale, and his face tightens in suspicion.
Gale doesn't wait for the Peacekeepers or anyone else to drag him away this time. He'll be the one to leave her this time. As he crosses the threshold of the door, he looks over his shoulder and his cocky, fake grin falters just a tiny bit at the wet glimmer on her cheeks.
(he's never liked her tears)
He can't help but deliver the final blow, angry at himself and at her and at everyone -
"Better hurry, Miss Everdeen," he tells her
(formally, as it should be, but his voice catches again. she looks breathtakingly lovely, a porcelain doll, in that white dress and for a moment he can imagine that she is his - that he will be the one to wake up to silky brown strands of hair)
and he does not look in her eyes as he says his final words.
"You don't want to be late for your wedding."
gale hawthorne. gale/katniss, implied peeta/katniss
post-hunger games!au. it's one of those things that could've been, but you refuse to acknowledge it now.
When he sees her for the first time in years, he finds that more has changed than he realised. He feels the same as when he did before the Peacekeepers dragged him away from Katniss the last time before the first Hunger Games, anxious and desperate and high on adrenaline. His breath is short and he only has a few minutes to see her, and he refuses to waste his time with anger and grudges and a cold facade of indifference.
(because he just does not have time for that and he wants her to remember the days in District 12, each precious Sunday, each moment and)
"Catnip," he says, and it is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.
He sees her eyes flicker with nostalgia and an ancient weariness masks her face. She is tired of all of this and he is only making it worse. Swallowing tightly, he corrects himself. "Katniss. Katniss, I -"
(iloveyouiloveyouiloveyoupleasedon'tdothis)
The words do not come out.
And then she smiles, and it's the smile she uses for the Capitol, for the cameras, for the audience that watches her constantly and it hurts him. Gale stares at her -
(fake and smiling and beautiful)
- and she has all of Katniss's features, but he can't recognise her at all. She distances herself, walks only a few steps and she treats him as if he is a stranger. He doesn't want this - he wants her to forget, even for two seconds, he wants her to hug and squeeze the breath out of his lungs, he wants her to just say his name, if only once.
"Hello," she greets, and the kindness in her voice is genuine. He doesn't fall for the facade and stares at her penetrably. Her mask slips just a little. "How is -" her voice catches and she takes a moment to compose herself, "your family? Is Hazelle doing well?"
He ignores her practised questions and
(practised, because he knows she's prepared herself for this and each movement is calculated, no consequence allowed and the Capitol has her right under their thumb)
"Katniss," he says.
Her voice rises in pitch, slowly at first, but he can see that she is breaking. "And - and Rory, Vick and Posy? They aren't applying for tessarae now, are -"
"Katniss." His voice is almost pleading, and he takes a step towards her. She instantly slides back and for the first time, he notices that she's trembling, and for a moment she sees the Katniss he used to know - human and strong and so utterly defiant - someone that would not go through with this.
"Please," she finally whispers, throat closing, a familiar redness rimming her eyes. This is another characteristic of before
(her pure spirit became red, splattered and tainted with blood and she has become a true fighter, a hunter, a bird trapped in a cage and he does not want this for her)
and Gale finds a sick, twisted pleasure in seeing it. "Don't do this to me. Not now, not now Gale." She almost has to force his name out and as despaired as she sounds, it still runs a shiver down his spine. Nothing has changed, and everything has changed.
"Why did you come here?"
Gale swallows thickly. "Why wouldn't I? You - I - we're -"
"Nothing. We're nothing," Katniss cuts him off, and for a moment they are both silent. Gale looks stricken, breath whooshing out of his lungs.
(he can't breathe anymore, and her rejection, as fake as it is, hurts too much)
"You should go."
He still doesn't say anything. He gives her a hard look and strides right up to her, inches apart. She tries to step back but ends up standing against the wall. Katniss opens her mouth to tell him to leave again, but suddenly, he raises his hand and she is quiet. His fingers hover over her forehead, almost brushing her cheek and pushing back curly strands of hair. He looks right in her eyes but doesn't move any closer, doesn't kiss her, doesn't touch her and steps back before she can do anything.
(her cheeks flush and her breathing quickens, lips parting in anticipation and her eyes filled with want and love and conflict and she is all too tempting)
His face crumples for a split second and he rests his forehead on her shoulder, abruptly exhausted. "Gale -"
"Don't go," he whispers, and repeats her words. "Don't do this to me, Catnip, Katniss, please, I need - I need you, I lo-"
Footsteps sound in the hallway and he draws back in a flash, not looking at her.
Katniss leans against the wall, sliding down a little, looking shocked and hurt and -
"Congratulations," Gale tells her in a strangled sort of smirk as her stylist, Cinna, breezes past him. He takes one glance at her makeup, in desperate need of retouching, at her expression, and at Gale, and his face tightens in suspicion.
Gale doesn't wait for the Peacekeepers or anyone else to drag him away this time. He'll be the one to leave her this time. As he crosses the threshold of the door, he looks over his shoulder and his cocky, fake grin falters just a tiny bit at the wet glimmer on her cheeks.
(he's never liked her tears)
He can't help but deliver the final blow, angry at himself and at her and at everyone -
"Better hurry, Miss Everdeen," he tells her
(formally, as it should be, but his voice catches again. she looks breathtakingly lovely, a porcelain doll, in that white dress and for a moment he can imagine that she is his - that he will be the one to wake up to silky brown strands of hair)
and he does not look in her eyes as he says his final words.
"You don't want to be late for your wedding."