Since you specify an email invitation, that leaves out weddings, which are a whole 'nother ball of wax.
Except for "Girls Only" nights (which I tend not to attend, anyway) I can't think of an email invitation I've received that would restrict the invitation to myself, only. Since I'm married, it would be extremely inappropriate to invite me and not Jason. Beyond that, I ask and have never been told "no, don't bring them".
In general, invitations I receive tend to say "of course bring your SO, but if there are other friends, please ask before passing the invitation along".
But, as I've noted to you in the past, you seem to run with a significantly exclusive crowd.
huh. i go to lots of stuff without elf my elf, and don't presume he's automatically invited. but he's really quite the homebody, whereas i enjoy going out to far more random concerts and going out for a drink and such.
but an invite that said "bring your so" could be either quite ill-defined or attract quite a crowd along with me ;)
to answer the original question, i would think of each of those levels as a different degree of "closed invite", and have no idea of the proportions.
Yeah, I meant to exclude formal events like weddings.
And I have the same assumptions that it'd be rude not to invite a spouse.
I really don't have a sense of where my social circles lie in terms of exclusiveness compared to the general population - partly why I ask this question.
I tend to say "partners welcome; ask if you want to bring someone else." Being a non-primary partner myself, I don't want to leave folks in that situation out, which is why I wouldn't say "and guest" except under unusual circumstances. I've been to but not thrown the kind of parties where everyone needs an invite but generally have found hosts willing to accomodate SOs.
It took me a while to figure out what you meant, but I think that most invites I get say you should check with the hosts before inviting someone else, unless it's a note sent to an email list (like suspects).
Then again, I consider this to be somewhat common courtesy, so I try to check with hosts if my potential guest doesn't seem to already be on the invite list.
Hmm, that actually sounds more exclusive than I would have expected.
I tend to think that if it doesn't say anything, you should be polite and check anyway, but you could also assume that a SO is welcome unless they'd be clearly excluded by the party theme (such as a Guys/Girls Night Out).
With you on this one. For large parties, the invite either explicitly says to bring anyone or it is implied. For such things I either come alone or with one person (an SO or a friend) and ask ahead if I want to bring more than one. For a dinner party, I NEVER assume I can bring anyone without advance notice and approval. A cook only has so many creme brulees, and I'm not gonna be the one to make them split the last one!
I'm guessing this depends on who the hosts are. In terms of any of my events, I want people to feel welcome bringing anyone they wish. I should probably start including things like that in the invites, though.
So bring anyone you wish to my parties! The more the merrier! :)
Having said this, I should probably make a caveat about dinner parties. For those, I would definitely find it helpful to know how many people are coming so that there's enough food.
Re: Coming in late on this one...starphireJanuary 1 2008, 00:40:07 UTC
No problem; I appreciate that you wanted to offer a data point from another country though! I've generally believed that with a few exceptions for certain kinds of events, sending an email invite to just one spouse doesn't mean the other is not welcome or invited at all - they may not know their email address or know them personally.
I was wondering if anyone thought it could mean a spouse or SO was explicitly not welcome if the host also knows them and is aware of their relationship.
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Except for "Girls Only" nights (which I tend not to attend, anyway) I can't think of an email invitation I've received that would restrict the invitation to myself, only. Since I'm married, it would be extremely inappropriate to invite me and not Jason. Beyond that, I ask and have never been told "no, don't bring them".
In general, invitations I receive tend to say "of course bring your SO, but if there are other friends, please ask before passing the invitation along".
But, as I've noted to you in the past, you seem to run with a significantly exclusive crowd.
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but an invite that said "bring your so" could be either quite ill-defined or attract quite a crowd along with me ;)
to answer the original question, i would think of each of those levels as a different degree of "closed invite", and have no idea of the proportions.
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And I have the same assumptions that it'd be rude not to invite a spouse.
I really don't have a sense of where my social circles lie in terms of exclusiveness compared to the general population - partly why I ask this question.
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Then again, I consider this to be somewhat common courtesy, so I try to check with hosts if my potential guest doesn't seem to already be on the invite list.
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I tend to think that if it doesn't say anything, you should be polite and check anyway, but you could also assume that a SO is welcome unless they'd be clearly excluded by the party theme (such as a Guys/Girls Night Out).
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So bring anyone you wish to my parties! The more the merrier! :)
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(The comment has been removed)
I've generally believed that with a few exceptions for certain kinds of events, sending an email invite to just one spouse doesn't mean the other is not welcome or invited at all - they may not know their email address or know them personally.
I was wondering if anyone thought it could mean a spouse or SO was explicitly not welcome if the host also knows them and is aware of their relationship.
Reply
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