Random Blow-By-Blow: Star Trek: TNG, "Sarek"
Because, as someone said on ontd_startrek back when it was brand new, I'm Spock's step-mommy.
- I have to admit, hearing the standard TNG music and the Picard opening voice-over is like being hit by a massive wave of nostalgia. My parents watched this show every week, which meant I did too sometimes, which means I may have watched this episode when it originally aired. I was six years old. Oy.
- Those dress uniforms on Picard and Riker are hilarious.
- Okay, so Spock did eventually get married? Do we know who to? brb hitting up Memory Alpha.
- O'Brieeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.
- Riker sort of looks like he needs a corset for that uniform tunic.
- Also, I find it a little weird that Sarek's chief of staff would be human. And a fucking smarmy human at that. I don't know if I'm having a reaction to some half-remembered episode synopsis or whatever, but I want to punch him in the throat.
- And there he is, my Vulcan pretend husband, Sarek. I adore his voice.
- Also I just noticed he appears to be wearing the same necklace-thing he had on in The Undiscovered Country.
- Shut up, chief of staff dude.
- And Picard proceeds to break the fourth wall by looking directly at the camera.
- Massive Wave of Nostalgia, take two. I remember I used to be fascinated by the intro to the opening credits.
- Apparently, the Legarans are going to be sitting in a giant vat of party punch. That's what it looks like to me, anyway.
- Wesley's got a daaaaaate. Geordi's impressed. I'm distracted by Sarek coming into the room.
- And here we have our first sign that all is not well with Sarek--he just about starts to lose his cool with Picard over the conference room not yet being ready. His personal aide steps in for the save. He leaves with what feels like a non sequitur to me ("These walls are too bright") and Picard and Riker share a "O_o?" look.
- Damn skippy Picard wants to be as awesome as Sarek when he's Sarek's age.
- Er, Perrin seems sarcastically put-out by visitors usually wanting to see her husband. Either that, or she's sarcastically flirting. And Picard's serving it right back.
- Despite that impression I just received, Perrin does seem genuinely concerned for Sarek when she goes to see him while meditating. And loving, too, putting her hands on his arm and shoulder and leaning his cheek against him before leaving. I feel bad for both of them.
- Wesley, Geordi, and the vat of punch again. Hahahahaha am I actually hearing ominous undertones music, just before they start sniping at each other? That's hilarious.
- Geordi, in so many words, tells Wesley he's not gonna score because he's a limp dishrag. Did it really need saying that every other male on the ship is an expert in women compared to Wesley? Because LOL. (I still love you, Wil.)
- Riker steps in like a punishing parent and Wesley actually asks him if he can be excused. Never mind he says it on his way out the door, I just thought it was funny that he did.
- Data, my love! (Yeah, he was the object of one of my first-ever fictional character crushes, the other contender for that spot being Egon Spengler. Not gonna lie.)
- Sarek shows up for the concert. He says Perrin can be quite logical when she chooses and I swear that's a smile I'm hearing in his tone of voice. She's half smiling/smirking like it's an old joke. Also, his chief of staff can continue to stfu please. Actually what I first interpreted as a smirk on Perrin's part may actually be her restraining from telling COS Dude to stfu, too. Awesome, let's get the mutual hate society going.
- Data has been programmed to reproduce the musical stylings of over 300 concert violinists. DAMN. I wish I had a switch to turn on like that. I'd never have a problem with bad tone quality ever again. Data asks Sarek if he has a preference for one and Sarek wordlessly lets Perrin choose. Her raised eyebrows give me the impression that Sarek does indeed have a favorite soloist and she knows it.
- I will now be assuming that it's just something about Joanna Miles' performance as Perrin that makes me think she's flirting with everyone, including Data? Probably I'm just misinterpreting her (diplomatic) friendliness, which maybe has to go into overtime when accompanying Sarek on his missions?
- Hahaha Riker's slouching in his chair like he's watching a game.
- I wonder if any of the musicians in the band actually knew how to play their instruments. Cello dude certainly appears to know his stuff, but then again I'm not a string musician.
- LOL why is Data conducting the others? Do solo violinists do that while not soloing? Someone help me out here, I am but a mere wind symphony musician.
- Second instance I've noticed of Sarek having restless fingers. Poor guy. (Yeah, Brent Spiner's not playing that violin.)
- Sarek's personal aide starts paying attention to Sarek. Troi starts paying attention to the aide. Aide whispers something to COS Dude, and we pan past Perrin to Sarek, who is blinking like a bitch.
- Okay, was that just a CG tear on a still shot of Sarek's face? I don't know whether to giggle or facepalm. Either way, it kinda ruined the moment.
- Perrin clues in (or got clued in) and wipes the tear from his face. Behind them, Picard goes WTF? The Vulcan party more or less beats the hell out of Dodge, while Troi looks confused, Crusher doesn't seem to have noticed, and Picard is still working the WTF face.
- LMAO what the hell is Crusher drinking out of that tiny ass cup, whiskey? From the way her shoulders look like they're hunched, her hand's sort of shaking, and the way she's not turning to look at Wesley when he comes be-bopping in, it ought to be alcohol. Also, she hasn't seen him to speak to him since last night? That's some shit parenting right there.
- Haha she's caught the Pissed-Off Bug. Slaps Wesley, too. Viewers everywhere cheer, probably.
- Man I always wanted Troi's hair.
- Uh yeah Wesley DID provoke that slap, you asked him where he was going and he snerked "away from you"...
- I kind of love how the only part of the aide's face that moved, when talking to Data, was his mouth. That is one surefire Vulcan right there. Even Sarek's expressions change on occasion. :D
- MORE O'BRIEN YAY.
- Alas, he is the next recipient of the Pissed-Off Bug. His rather beefy adversary in Ten Forward has a slender girl with a French braid backing him up. I love that. We leave them with Geordi offering to get everyone another round
- Riker and Worf (haaaaaaaay Worf) then proceed to walk into a full-on bar brawl.
- DAMN French braid girl just decked the fuck out of some guy. You go, French braid girl! (And then Riker got fake!nose-slammed to the floor. Cue commercial break.)
- Picard: THIS SHIT IS GONNA RUIN OUR DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE FML
- Oh Jesus Christ COS Dude, get your smarmy face off my screen. YES PICARD IS ACCUSING SAREK OF LOSING HIS MIND AND NO HE CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT. DO YOU THINK HE LIKES IT?!
- Personal aide's visiting the punch vat. Data visits him. Aide enables evasive maneuvers (SON IS LYYYYYYYIIIIIIING). But he finally capitulates--and expresses emotion, merely by swallowing, I liked that--and tells Data to tell Picard that yes, they ARE all fucked.
- While convening a council of war, so to speak, Riker and Picard catch the Pissed-Off Bug. In front of the entire bridge crew. Way to let everyone knows there's a problem with Sarek, Riker!
- Perrin, understandably, is a little pissed off at Picard for daring to suggest her husband's been responsible for turning the Enterprise into a ballroom blitz. She also seemed to take a lot of umbrage at the suggestion that Sarek's aide something something was wrong and had been trying to do something about it.
- And my shipper heart took a lot of glee in this particular line of hers: "Captain, I know a good deal about the Vulcan mind, and I know a good deal about the heart of one particular Vulcan." Poor Perrin. Poor Sarek. Poor everyone. (Except COS Dude, he can go fuck off.)
- Awesome, Sarek just motioned for COS Dude to fuck off. See, we think alike, I'll make a great step-mommy!
- Man, EVERYONE is in denial over Sarek having Bendii Syndrome. Except possibly COS Dude. I'm convinced he's evil.
- Oh shit son, Picard just found you out, Sarek. Except he doesn't seem to know his aide has been trying to keep his emotions in check for him. And COS Dude says it isn't true. You little fucker. Sarek asks if Perrin knows--her expression sort of leaves it up in the air. Aide says yes, it's true. Sarek snaps at him to quit that shit and the aide says "That would not be wise." Sarek calms and says it might not be wise, but it's necessary. Aide nods and leaves, I'm assuming to cease, desist, and take the Vulcan equivalent of codeine.
- Sarek tells Perrin there is nothing to fear. Her expression says it all. Damn, I'm really feeling for them.
- Man, Picard, don't be lumping Perrin in with COS Dude!
- Picard attempts to explain his hypothesis to Sarek. Sarek starts winding up like a toy. I'm metaphorically gnawing on my fingernails.
- Yeah, you're definitely hearing anger in his voice. Congratulations, jackass, you just succeeded in making Sarek blow up in your face. Happy now?
- Riker says he thinks Picard did the right thing. Picard actually isn't happy about it. Perrin comes in; I'm hoping it's to slap the shit out of Picard. Unfortunately there's no bitchslappage. She just wants Picard to let Sarek finish his mission and retain his respect and dignity.
- Sarek apparently went to hang out with the soothing vat of punch. It's where he's discussing a mind meld with Picard, anyway.
- He can mind meld with me anytime. Just saying.
- Sarek then appears on the bridge, the picture of control, to tell Riker to let the Legarans know he will be greeting them. He also keeps calling Riker "Number One". Riker is rather humorously freaked by this.
- Meanwhile, Picard is screaming his lungs out in a dark office. Doing a pretty good job of mimicking Sarek's voice, too. If I were Crusher, I'd be on the other side of the damn room.
- The lines "I am betrayed by... desires... oh... I want to feel... everything" came across as INCREDIBLY porntastic. I really ought to climb out of the gutter sometime.
- "Perrin... Amanda... I wanted to give you so much more... I wanted to show you such... tenderness... but that is not our way. Spock... Amanda... did you know... Perrin... can you know how much I love you? I do love you..." BRB SOBBING LIKE A BITCH
- Thus concludes this episode's segment of Picard/Crusher UST.
- Fuck you, COS Dude. I still think you're evil.
- When Perrin clasps Picard's hand, he gives it a weird look and then says "He loves you... very much." Perrin just says she's always known. As it should be, I say.
- Man, I really wanted to see Sarek and Perrin do the finger touch, but he actually reached out and took her hand just before they beamed away. That was seriously nice.
- Well, O'Brien looks none the worse for his bar brawling...
- Cue credits.
- I have to admit, hearing the standard TNG music and the Picard opening voice-over is like being hit by a massive wave of nostalgia. My parents watched this show every week, which meant I did too sometimes, which means I may have watched this episode when it originally aired. I was six years old. Oy.
- Those dress uniforms on Picard and Riker are hilarious.
- Okay, so Spock did eventually get married? Do we know who to? brb hitting up Memory Alpha.
- O'Brieeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.
- Riker sort of looks like he needs a corset for that uniform tunic.
- Also, I find it a little weird that Sarek's chief of staff would be human. And a fucking smarmy human at that. I don't know if I'm having a reaction to some half-remembered episode synopsis or whatever, but I want to punch him in the throat.
- And there he is, my Vulcan pretend husband, Sarek. I adore his voice.
- Also I just noticed he appears to be wearing the same necklace-thing he had on in The Undiscovered Country.
- Shut up, chief of staff dude.
- And Picard proceeds to break the fourth wall by looking directly at the camera.
- Massive Wave of Nostalgia, take two. I remember I used to be fascinated by the intro to the opening credits.
- Apparently, the Legarans are going to be sitting in a giant vat of party punch. That's what it looks like to me, anyway.
- Wesley's got a daaaaaate. Geordi's impressed. I'm distracted by Sarek coming into the room.
- And here we have our first sign that all is not well with Sarek--he just about starts to lose his cool with Picard over the conference room not yet being ready. His personal aide steps in for the save. He leaves with what feels like a non sequitur to me ("These walls are too bright") and Picard and Riker share a "O_o?" look.
- Damn skippy Picard wants to be as awesome as Sarek when he's Sarek's age.
- Er, Perrin seems sarcastically put-out by visitors usually wanting to see her husband. Either that, or she's sarcastically flirting. And Picard's serving it right back.
- Despite that impression I just received, Perrin does seem genuinely concerned for Sarek when she goes to see him while meditating. And loving, too, putting her hands on his arm and shoulder and leaning his cheek against him before leaving. I feel bad for both of them.
- Wesley, Geordi, and the vat of punch again. Hahahahaha am I actually hearing ominous undertones music, just before they start sniping at each other? That's hilarious.
- Geordi, in so many words, tells Wesley he's not gonna score because he's a limp dishrag. Did it really need saying that every other male on the ship is an expert in women compared to Wesley? Because LOL. (I still love you, Wil.)
- Riker steps in like a punishing parent and Wesley actually asks him if he can be excused. Never mind he says it on his way out the door, I just thought it was funny that he did.
- Data, my love! (Yeah, he was the object of one of my first-ever fictional character crushes, the other contender for that spot being Egon Spengler. Not gonna lie.)
- Sarek shows up for the concert. He says Perrin can be quite logical when she chooses and I swear that's a smile I'm hearing in his tone of voice. She's half smiling/smirking like it's an old joke. Also, his chief of staff can continue to stfu please. Actually what I first interpreted as a smirk on Perrin's part may actually be her restraining from telling COS Dude to stfu, too. Awesome, let's get the mutual hate society going.
- Data has been programmed to reproduce the musical stylings of over 300 concert violinists. DAMN. I wish I had a switch to turn on like that. I'd never have a problem with bad tone quality ever again. Data asks Sarek if he has a preference for one and Sarek wordlessly lets Perrin choose. Her raised eyebrows give me the impression that Sarek does indeed have a favorite soloist and she knows it.
- I will now be assuming that it's just something about Joanna Miles' performance as Perrin that makes me think she's flirting with everyone, including Data? Probably I'm just misinterpreting her (diplomatic) friendliness, which maybe has to go into overtime when accompanying Sarek on his missions?
- Hahaha Riker's slouching in his chair like he's watching a game.
- I wonder if any of the musicians in the band actually knew how to play their instruments. Cello dude certainly appears to know his stuff, but then again I'm not a string musician.
- LOL why is Data conducting the others? Do solo violinists do that while not soloing? Someone help me out here, I am but a mere wind symphony musician.
- Second instance I've noticed of Sarek having restless fingers. Poor guy. (Yeah, Brent Spiner's not playing that violin.)
- Sarek's personal aide starts paying attention to Sarek. Troi starts paying attention to the aide. Aide whispers something to COS Dude, and we pan past Perrin to Sarek, who is blinking like a bitch.
- Okay, was that just a CG tear on a still shot of Sarek's face? I don't know whether to giggle or facepalm. Either way, it kinda ruined the moment.
- Perrin clues in (or got clued in) and wipes the tear from his face. Behind them, Picard goes WTF? The Vulcan party more or less beats the hell out of Dodge, while Troi looks confused, Crusher doesn't seem to have noticed, and Picard is still working the WTF face.
- LMAO what the hell is Crusher drinking out of that tiny ass cup, whiskey? From the way her shoulders look like they're hunched, her hand's sort of shaking, and the way she's not turning to look at Wesley when he comes be-bopping in, it ought to be alcohol. Also, she hasn't seen him to speak to him since last night? That's some shit parenting right there.
- Haha she's caught the Pissed-Off Bug. Slaps Wesley, too. Viewers everywhere cheer, probably.
- Man I always wanted Troi's hair.
- Uh yeah Wesley DID provoke that slap, you asked him where he was going and he snerked "away from you"...
- I kind of love how the only part of the aide's face that moved, when talking to Data, was his mouth. That is one surefire Vulcan right there. Even Sarek's expressions change on occasion. :D
- MORE O'BRIEN YAY.
- Alas, he is the next recipient of the Pissed-Off Bug. His rather beefy adversary in Ten Forward has a slender girl with a French braid backing him up. I love that. We leave them with Geordi offering to get everyone another round
- Riker and Worf (haaaaaaaay Worf) then proceed to walk into a full-on bar brawl.
- DAMN French braid girl just decked the fuck out of some guy. You go, French braid girl! (And then Riker got fake!nose-slammed to the floor. Cue commercial break.)
- Picard: THIS SHIT IS GONNA RUIN OUR DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE FML
- Oh Jesus Christ COS Dude, get your smarmy face off my screen. YES PICARD IS ACCUSING SAREK OF LOSING HIS MIND AND NO HE CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT. DO YOU THINK HE LIKES IT?!
- Personal aide's visiting the punch vat. Data visits him. Aide enables evasive maneuvers (SON IS LYYYYYYYIIIIIIING). But he finally capitulates--and expresses emotion, merely by swallowing, I liked that--and tells Data to tell Picard that yes, they ARE all fucked.
- While convening a council of war, so to speak, Riker and Picard catch the Pissed-Off Bug. In front of the entire bridge crew. Way to let everyone knows there's a problem with Sarek, Riker!
- Perrin, understandably, is a little pissed off at Picard for daring to suggest her husband's been responsible for turning the Enterprise into a ballroom blitz. She also seemed to take a lot of umbrage at the suggestion that Sarek's aide something something was wrong and had been trying to do something about it.
- And my shipper heart took a lot of glee in this particular line of hers: "Captain, I know a good deal about the Vulcan mind, and I know a good deal about the heart of one particular Vulcan." Poor Perrin. Poor Sarek. Poor everyone. (Except COS Dude, he can go fuck off.)
- Awesome, Sarek just motioned for COS Dude to fuck off. See, we think alike, I'll make a great step-mommy!
- Man, EVERYONE is in denial over Sarek having Bendii Syndrome. Except possibly COS Dude. I'm convinced he's evil.
- Oh shit son, Picard just found you out, Sarek. Except he doesn't seem to know his aide has been trying to keep his emotions in check for him. And COS Dude says it isn't true. You little fucker. Sarek asks if Perrin knows--her expression sort of leaves it up in the air. Aide says yes, it's true. Sarek snaps at him to quit that shit and the aide says "That would not be wise." Sarek calms and says it might not be wise, but it's necessary. Aide nods and leaves, I'm assuming to cease, desist, and take the Vulcan equivalent of codeine.
- Sarek tells Perrin there is nothing to fear. Her expression says it all. Damn, I'm really feeling for them.
- Man, Picard, don't be lumping Perrin in with COS Dude!
- Picard attempts to explain his hypothesis to Sarek. Sarek starts winding up like a toy. I'm metaphorically gnawing on my fingernails.
- Yeah, you're definitely hearing anger in his voice. Congratulations, jackass, you just succeeded in making Sarek blow up in your face. Happy now?
- Riker says he thinks Picard did the right thing. Picard actually isn't happy about it. Perrin comes in; I'm hoping it's to slap the shit out of Picard. Unfortunately there's no bitchslappage. She just wants Picard to let Sarek finish his mission and retain his respect and dignity.
- Sarek apparently went to hang out with the soothing vat of punch. It's where he's discussing a mind meld with Picard, anyway.
- He can mind meld with me anytime. Just saying.
- Sarek then appears on the bridge, the picture of control, to tell Riker to let the Legarans know he will be greeting them. He also keeps calling Riker "Number One". Riker is rather humorously freaked by this.
- Meanwhile, Picard is screaming his lungs out in a dark office. Doing a pretty good job of mimicking Sarek's voice, too. If I were Crusher, I'd be on the other side of the damn room.
- The lines "I am betrayed by... desires... oh... I want to feel... everything" came across as INCREDIBLY porntastic. I really ought to climb out of the gutter sometime.
- "Perrin... Amanda... I wanted to give you so much more... I wanted to show you such... tenderness... but that is not our way. Spock... Amanda... did you know... Perrin... can you know how much I love you? I do love you..." BRB SOBBING LIKE A BITCH
- Thus concludes this episode's segment of Picard/Crusher UST.
- Fuck you, COS Dude. I still think you're evil.
- When Perrin clasps Picard's hand, he gives it a weird look and then says "He loves you... very much." Perrin just says she's always known. As it should be, I say.
- Man, I really wanted to see Sarek and Perrin do the finger touch, but he actually reached out and took her hand just before they beamed away. That was seriously nice.
- Well, O'Brien looks none the worse for his bar brawling...
- Cue credits.