The Distance Between Us (Subaru/Yasu)
Title: The Distance Between Us
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu
Written for pinkpapyrus ♥
Yasu knows when Subaru’s not in a good mood. He instinctually knows when to stay away. Subaru’s grateful for, of course, but it’s been a month since they last talked to each other. Between them, it’s moved from respectful distance to wary avoidance and Subaru finds himself refuelling his initial annoyance ― which didn’t have anything to do with Shota in the first place ― with thoughts on just how screwed their relationship is. Yasu’s drifting away from him. Or maybe he’s the one drifting away. Either way, he blames himself so much that he ends up projecting it all on Yasu.
When they talk next, Subaru’s words come out harsh and flinty. He’s furious and, if he knows deep down that it’s the distance between them that he despises rather than the person at the other end, he stubbornly refuses to acknowledge it.
“I don’t care,” he says. “I don’t like you anymore. You and I are through.”
In all his fury, Subaru expects Yasu to fight back. But the Yasu in front of him is not the one Subaru knows. He looks deflated, pale and tired. Subaru wants him to yell back, mad and desperate, or maybe even to cry. He wants to shake him, to spur a reaction out of him, anything but this sad resignation.
“Shibuyan,” Yasu’s voice is low. There is a rawness that betrays emotions that Subaru can’t quite place. The nickname on Yasu’s lips makes Subaru’s heart feel tight.
Subaru is torn between bolting out right this instant or making Yasu shut up. He doesn’t really want to discuss this, what’s going on between them. In the end, though, he just stands there silent, glaring challengingly at Yasu.
Yasu sighs wearily. “I don’t know what you want from me anymore. It seems like every time we take a step forward we have to take another back.”
Subaru feels the protest rise in his throat but Yasu interrupts before he even gets to voice it. “It’s not just you. It’s me too. I’m just not sure where we’re going anymore.”
This is exactly the conversation Subaru wanted to avoid in the first place. For him, they’ve probably been putting it off for months now, maybe years, or ever since they first found themselves kissing in Yasu’s room after a day of shopping. They’ve never been really good with words. And it’s hard to talk about something when you’re not really sure what’s going on, what you want it to be.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he accuses.
“You’ve been pushing me away,” Yasu counters, voice suddenly stronger. His face flushes and Subaru’s heartbeat accelerates a bit.
“You turned down my invitations.”
“You didn’t want me there.”
“How the hell do you know?” Subaru finally snaps. “We haven’t talked in over a month.”
In front of him, Yasu’s face is contorted into a frown, eyes ablaze, lips set in a hard line. His shoulders move as he breathes in and out. He’s scared too, just as scared as Subaru is, and he doesn’t have a clue either. Everything becomes complicated the moment the line between friendship and love blurs.
“Well, if I had known it would be like this I probably wouldn’t have come.”
Yasu’s words are loud but they barely register through Subaru’s mind. He’s tired suddenly. Tired of this. Tired of stepping forward and stepping back, and wanting and not knowing, and skirting around important matters, and being so angry with himself all the time.
“I missed you,” he says, soft and aimed at his feet but clear enough to hear.
“W-what?” Yasu asks and Subaru raises his head to glare at him. It’s uncertainty that makes him on the defensive and he’s about to take his words back when Yasu suddenly closes the distance between them and pulls him into a tight hug.
Subaru first tenses but Yasu is warm and he smells nice and familiar so Subaru relaxes into the embrace. He brings one of his hand to rub Yasu’s back and pulls him closer. To finally admit why he’s been feeling so edgy for the past weeks makes all the tension leave Subaru’s shoulders. Against him, Yasu starts shaking and Subaru pulls back just the slightest bit to look at his face.
“Are you crying?” He asks. A glance at Yasu’s red face and watery eyes and Subaru wants to laugh. It’s not derisive, just unbelievably happy with the tiniest bit of tender mocking.
“Oh, shut up,” Yasu pouts at him.
Subaru chuckles even as he leans in to press his lips to Yasu’s. Things are not perfect between them yet, they have a lot to figure out still, but maybe this time they can take more than a few steps forward.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu
Written for pinkpapyrus ♥
Yasu knows when Subaru’s not in a good mood. He instinctually knows when to stay away. Subaru’s grateful for, of course, but it’s been a month since they last talked to each other. Between them, it’s moved from respectful distance to wary avoidance and Subaru finds himself refuelling his initial annoyance ― which didn’t have anything to do with Shota in the first place ― with thoughts on just how screwed their relationship is. Yasu’s drifting away from him. Or maybe he’s the one drifting away. Either way, he blames himself so much that he ends up projecting it all on Yasu.
When they talk next, Subaru’s words come out harsh and flinty. He’s furious and, if he knows deep down that it’s the distance between them that he despises rather than the person at the other end, he stubbornly refuses to acknowledge it.
“I don’t care,” he says. “I don’t like you anymore. You and I are through.”
In all his fury, Subaru expects Yasu to fight back. But the Yasu in front of him is not the one Subaru knows. He looks deflated, pale and tired. Subaru wants him to yell back, mad and desperate, or maybe even to cry. He wants to shake him, to spur a reaction out of him, anything but this sad resignation.
“Shibuyan,” Yasu’s voice is low. There is a rawness that betrays emotions that Subaru can’t quite place. The nickname on Yasu’s lips makes Subaru’s heart feel tight.
Subaru is torn between bolting out right this instant or making Yasu shut up. He doesn’t really want to discuss this, what’s going on between them. In the end, though, he just stands there silent, glaring challengingly at Yasu.
Yasu sighs wearily. “I don’t know what you want from me anymore. It seems like every time we take a step forward we have to take another back.”
Subaru feels the protest rise in his throat but Yasu interrupts before he even gets to voice it. “It’s not just you. It’s me too. I’m just not sure where we’re going anymore.”
This is exactly the conversation Subaru wanted to avoid in the first place. For him, they’ve probably been putting it off for months now, maybe years, or ever since they first found themselves kissing in Yasu’s room after a day of shopping. They’ve never been really good with words. And it’s hard to talk about something when you’re not really sure what’s going on, what you want it to be.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he accuses.
“You’ve been pushing me away,” Yasu counters, voice suddenly stronger. His face flushes and Subaru’s heartbeat accelerates a bit.
“You turned down my invitations.”
“You didn’t want me there.”
“How the hell do you know?” Subaru finally snaps. “We haven’t talked in over a month.”
In front of him, Yasu’s face is contorted into a frown, eyes ablaze, lips set in a hard line. His shoulders move as he breathes in and out. He’s scared too, just as scared as Subaru is, and he doesn’t have a clue either. Everything becomes complicated the moment the line between friendship and love blurs.
“Well, if I had known it would be like this I probably wouldn’t have come.”
Yasu’s words are loud but they barely register through Subaru’s mind. He’s tired suddenly. Tired of this. Tired of stepping forward and stepping back, and wanting and not knowing, and skirting around important matters, and being so angry with himself all the time.
“I missed you,” he says, soft and aimed at his feet but clear enough to hear.
“W-what?” Yasu asks and Subaru raises his head to glare at him. It’s uncertainty that makes him on the defensive and he’s about to take his words back when Yasu suddenly closes the distance between them and pulls him into a tight hug.
Subaru first tenses but Yasu is warm and he smells nice and familiar so Subaru relaxes into the embrace. He brings one of his hand to rub Yasu’s back and pulls him closer. To finally admit why he’s been feeling so edgy for the past weeks makes all the tension leave Subaru’s shoulders. Against him, Yasu starts shaking and Subaru pulls back just the slightest bit to look at his face.
“Are you crying?” He asks. A glance at Yasu’s red face and watery eyes and Subaru wants to laugh. It’s not derisive, just unbelievably happy with the tiniest bit of tender mocking.
“Oh, shut up,” Yasu pouts at him.
Subaru chuckles even as he leans in to press his lips to Yasu’s. Things are not perfect between them yet, they have a lot to figure out still, but maybe this time they can take more than a few steps forward.