Close - Threadverse (Yasu/Subaru)
Title: Close - Threadverse
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yasu/Subaru
Note: This happens after this drabble in threadverse. There's actually more to the Maru thing but it's not written yet.
Betaed by alissa.
On the ride back home Yasu can feel Subaru’s mood sink dangerously. He can’t pretend he doesn’t know the cause of this but meeting Maruyama-kun had been unexpected and there’s really nothing Yasu could have done to prevent it from happening. Out in the world, Subaru just has to learn to deal with this kind of situation.
Yasu glances at Subaru, sitting with his shoulders hunched, looking straight ahead, not at the road but at some invisible point in the distance. Yasu reaches out to pat his thigh but Subaru doesn’t react, doesn’t even blink.
“It was bound to happen sometime,” Yasu tries softly. “Maruyama-kun, and a bunch of other people from there, live outside so you’re bound to meet some of them at some point.”
Subaru’s eyes shift from the road to Yasu’s face and Yasu almost wants to pull over right then so that he can take his attention off the road and concentrate on Subaru alone.
“Mm,” Subaru hums noncommittally. “So that’s what you think it’s about, huh?” There is something bitter in his tone, almost accusing, and it makes Yasu frown.
“Is it not?” He asks. Somewhere at the back of his mind something tells him that it’s not a good question but he’s not in therapy right now and there’s no way he’s going to start acting like it with Subaru.
“If you say so,” Subaru replies, and he goes back to staring ahead of him.
Yasu breathes slowly through his nose. He’s irritated at Subaru’s attitude but he knows that snapping back at him would do no good so he keeps his mouth shut. They can talk about this once they get home.
As Yasu pulls up in front of his apartment building, he takes a breath and mentally prepares for what’s to come. But Subaru’s out of the car before he can even turn around to look at him. Yasu presses his lips together and flexes his fingers a few times around the steering wheel. He contemplates going out for a drive, leaving Subaru alone to sulk or whatever he’s doing now. But then he doesn’t think it’s a such a good idea so he gets out of the car and stalks after Subaru.
“Subaru,” he calls as he finally catches up with him just outside of Yasu’s door.
“I forgot my key,” Subaru mumbles. He’s not looking at Yasu and that in itself feels very wrong.
Yasu takes out his keys and opens the door for the both of them.
Subaru goes straight in. Yasu follows, closing the door behind himself. He leans back against it and looks at Subaru. Across the room, Subaru stands with his back to Yasu, figure tense and rigid. Yasu rubs at his temples, exhales slowly. They have to talk. They have to talk now.
“Subaru,” Yasu begins, forcing his voice to be calm and steady, as soothing as possible.
And then, just as quickly as he has walked in and away from Yasu, Subaru turns around and walks right back to Yasu. Yasu has barely time to register what is happening before Subaru has pinned him to the door, kissing him hard.
Yasu gasps, eyes widening, and Subaru pushes his tongue past his lips. It’s not a gentle kiss, neither is it playful or tender. It’s rough and demanding and almost painful in its intensity. It brings Yasu back to room 102 for a moment, to that stolen kiss that should never have happened. But unlike then Subaru doesn’t soften when Yasu moans against his mouth. He nips at Yasu’s lower lip instead, possessive and punishing.
Yasu pushes Subaru back and brings his fingers up to touch his lip. Subaru didn’t bite hard enough for it to actually bleed but it still hurt. He looks at Subaru, half expecting him to look regretful, but the look on Subaru’s face is not even close to repentant. It’s closed instead, dark and intense. Yasu frowns.
Subaru’s fingers wrap around Yasu’s wrist and pulls him across the room to the bedroom. Yasu doesn’t resist. He doesn’t know what Subaru has in mind but he’s willing to give into him that much if only to remind Subaru that he’s actually on his side. If they’re fighting, Yasu’s not even sure what it’s about but it has to stop.
Once they are by the bed, Subaru’s grip on Yasu’s wrist loosens a bit. He suddenly looks uncertain, almost scared for a second. Yasu reaches out for him, touches his arm gently, but Subaru shrugs his hand away and pulls off his shirt.
“Let’s have sex now,” he mutters, not looking at Yasu’s eyes.
Yasu takes a step back. “What?” It doesn’t make sense. And Yasu doesn’t want to have sex in these kind of circumstances. “No!”
Subaru glares at him defiantly. He steps in and reaches for Yasu’s belt buckle. Yasu tries to push him away but Subaru grabs fistfuls of Yasu’s shirt and holds onto him tight. Then things get kind of out of control. There is struggling and pushing and pulling and it all feels extremely unreal. In the back of his mind, Yasu think this is childish and ridiculous but he doesn’t know how to stop it. That is until they topple over onto the bed.
“Subaru. Stop.” Yasu snaps and grabs Subaru’s wrists, pinning him to the mattress.
Subaru trashes against him a bit, and when it doesn’t work he swings his legs around Yasu and pulls him down hard. Yasu gasps; Subaru closes his eyes, throws his head back.
“I’m not having sex with you until you tell me what’s wrong,” Yasu hisses.
Subaru cracks an eye open and glares at Yasu. “How very professional of you,” he says.
Curses rise in Yasu’s throat but he forces himself to stay calm. He knows how Subaru is, knows how he can be. He can’t take the bait. “I’m not your therapist,” he says, and he hears his own voice shake a little. He’s angry, frustrated, because it’s not fair for Subaru to be that way, closed down, defensive, mistrustful, after all they have been through together. He’s concerned too, of course, because through it all it’s Subaru’s vulnerability that he can see surfacing again. “I don’t sleep with my patients.”
Subaru’s eyes open to stare straight at Yasu. “You seem quite friendly with them, though,” he says.
Suddenly, it all clicks into place, what Subaru is upset about, what this whole crisis is all about. Yasu almost wants to laugh but he doesn’t. To Subaru, this is a serious matter. Yasu lowers himself onto Subaru and pulls him into an embrace. He kisses Subaru’s temple, the corner of his eye, the side of his jaw.
“Stop it,” Subaru groans, and he turns his head to the other side.
They should probably talk about it, Yasu thinks, but right now Subaru needs a kind of comfort that has nothing to do with words. He needs to understand that this, what they have, Yasu’s feelings, it’s real and it’s not going to fade away. He also needs to understand that it’s rooted in reality, in a world made of thousands of other people that are not only there to break them apart.
“I love you, you know,” Yasu whispers softly. Subaru makes a small huffing sound but Yasu feels him relax a bit in his embrace. “Only you,” Yasu adds, and Subaru turns around so quickly that they almost bump noses together.
“You,” he says, voice gruff and eyes fierce, “you better not be joking there.”
Yasu’s eyes widen. “Wh...” He begins but doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Subaru speaks again.
“You’re mine. I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
Yasu blinks a few times. Subaru’s hands tighten in Yasu’s shirt. Yasu opens his mouth to say something and he sees Subaru lick his lips, ready to fight back if ever Yasu was to voice any kind of disagreement.
“I... Okay,” Yasu says in the end, and he feels a smile tug at his lips. “I can live with that,” he adds, the smile only growing wider.
Subaru pouts a little. His eyes searches Yasu’s for something. Yasu leans in and kisses him softly on the lips.
“I’m not very conventional as a therapist, you of all people should know that. But you and I are not like that anymore. We haven’t been for a long time. And it’s different. You’re special. I...” Yasu pauses, looks for the right words, ones that would justify him being with Subaru like his and not with anyone else. “I love you,” he finally concludes. That’s really all there is to say, after all.
Subaru nods. His fingers follow Yasu’s arms up to hook around his neck and he pulls him down for another kiss, longer this time, and so much softer.
“Trust me, will you?” Yasu asks against Subaru’s lips.
Subaru nods again. He’s not going to say he’s sorry, Yasu knows that, but it’s okay. He’s known all along that there would be moments like this, darker, more difficult. But it’s by facing things as they come - no matter how unexpected, no matter how painful and scary - that they can truly build something together.
As he presses his forehead against Subaru’s, Yasu thinks that it’s all worth it.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yasu/Subaru
Note: This happens after this drabble in threadverse. There's actually more to the Maru thing but it's not written yet.
Betaed by alissa.
On the ride back home Yasu can feel Subaru’s mood sink dangerously. He can’t pretend he doesn’t know the cause of this but meeting Maruyama-kun had been unexpected and there’s really nothing Yasu could have done to prevent it from happening. Out in the world, Subaru just has to learn to deal with this kind of situation.
Yasu glances at Subaru, sitting with his shoulders hunched, looking straight ahead, not at the road but at some invisible point in the distance. Yasu reaches out to pat his thigh but Subaru doesn’t react, doesn’t even blink.
“It was bound to happen sometime,” Yasu tries softly. “Maruyama-kun, and a bunch of other people from there, live outside so you’re bound to meet some of them at some point.”
Subaru’s eyes shift from the road to Yasu’s face and Yasu almost wants to pull over right then so that he can take his attention off the road and concentrate on Subaru alone.
“Mm,” Subaru hums noncommittally. “So that’s what you think it’s about, huh?” There is something bitter in his tone, almost accusing, and it makes Yasu frown.
“Is it not?” He asks. Somewhere at the back of his mind something tells him that it’s not a good question but he’s not in therapy right now and there’s no way he’s going to start acting like it with Subaru.
“If you say so,” Subaru replies, and he goes back to staring ahead of him.
Yasu breathes slowly through his nose. He’s irritated at Subaru’s attitude but he knows that snapping back at him would do no good so he keeps his mouth shut. They can talk about this once they get home.
As Yasu pulls up in front of his apartment building, he takes a breath and mentally prepares for what’s to come. But Subaru’s out of the car before he can even turn around to look at him. Yasu presses his lips together and flexes his fingers a few times around the steering wheel. He contemplates going out for a drive, leaving Subaru alone to sulk or whatever he’s doing now. But then he doesn’t think it’s a such a good idea so he gets out of the car and stalks after Subaru.
“Subaru,” he calls as he finally catches up with him just outside of Yasu’s door.
“I forgot my key,” Subaru mumbles. He’s not looking at Yasu and that in itself feels very wrong.
Yasu takes out his keys and opens the door for the both of them.
Subaru goes straight in. Yasu follows, closing the door behind himself. He leans back against it and looks at Subaru. Across the room, Subaru stands with his back to Yasu, figure tense and rigid. Yasu rubs at his temples, exhales slowly. They have to talk. They have to talk now.
“Subaru,” Yasu begins, forcing his voice to be calm and steady, as soothing as possible.
And then, just as quickly as he has walked in and away from Yasu, Subaru turns around and walks right back to Yasu. Yasu has barely time to register what is happening before Subaru has pinned him to the door, kissing him hard.
Yasu gasps, eyes widening, and Subaru pushes his tongue past his lips. It’s not a gentle kiss, neither is it playful or tender. It’s rough and demanding and almost painful in its intensity. It brings Yasu back to room 102 for a moment, to that stolen kiss that should never have happened. But unlike then Subaru doesn’t soften when Yasu moans against his mouth. He nips at Yasu’s lower lip instead, possessive and punishing.
Yasu pushes Subaru back and brings his fingers up to touch his lip. Subaru didn’t bite hard enough for it to actually bleed but it still hurt. He looks at Subaru, half expecting him to look regretful, but the look on Subaru’s face is not even close to repentant. It’s closed instead, dark and intense. Yasu frowns.
Subaru’s fingers wrap around Yasu’s wrist and pulls him across the room to the bedroom. Yasu doesn’t resist. He doesn’t know what Subaru has in mind but he’s willing to give into him that much if only to remind Subaru that he’s actually on his side. If they’re fighting, Yasu’s not even sure what it’s about but it has to stop.
Once they are by the bed, Subaru’s grip on Yasu’s wrist loosens a bit. He suddenly looks uncertain, almost scared for a second. Yasu reaches out for him, touches his arm gently, but Subaru shrugs his hand away and pulls off his shirt.
“Let’s have sex now,” he mutters, not looking at Yasu’s eyes.
Yasu takes a step back. “What?” It doesn’t make sense. And Yasu doesn’t want to have sex in these kind of circumstances. “No!”
Subaru glares at him defiantly. He steps in and reaches for Yasu’s belt buckle. Yasu tries to push him away but Subaru grabs fistfuls of Yasu’s shirt and holds onto him tight. Then things get kind of out of control. There is struggling and pushing and pulling and it all feels extremely unreal. In the back of his mind, Yasu think this is childish and ridiculous but he doesn’t know how to stop it. That is until they topple over onto the bed.
“Subaru. Stop.” Yasu snaps and grabs Subaru’s wrists, pinning him to the mattress.
Subaru trashes against him a bit, and when it doesn’t work he swings his legs around Yasu and pulls him down hard. Yasu gasps; Subaru closes his eyes, throws his head back.
“I’m not having sex with you until you tell me what’s wrong,” Yasu hisses.
Subaru cracks an eye open and glares at Yasu. “How very professional of you,” he says.
Curses rise in Yasu’s throat but he forces himself to stay calm. He knows how Subaru is, knows how he can be. He can’t take the bait. “I’m not your therapist,” he says, and he hears his own voice shake a little. He’s angry, frustrated, because it’s not fair for Subaru to be that way, closed down, defensive, mistrustful, after all they have been through together. He’s concerned too, of course, because through it all it’s Subaru’s vulnerability that he can see surfacing again. “I don’t sleep with my patients.”
Subaru’s eyes open to stare straight at Yasu. “You seem quite friendly with them, though,” he says.
Suddenly, it all clicks into place, what Subaru is upset about, what this whole crisis is all about. Yasu almost wants to laugh but he doesn’t. To Subaru, this is a serious matter. Yasu lowers himself onto Subaru and pulls him into an embrace. He kisses Subaru’s temple, the corner of his eye, the side of his jaw.
“Stop it,” Subaru groans, and he turns his head to the other side.
They should probably talk about it, Yasu thinks, but right now Subaru needs a kind of comfort that has nothing to do with words. He needs to understand that this, what they have, Yasu’s feelings, it’s real and it’s not going to fade away. He also needs to understand that it’s rooted in reality, in a world made of thousands of other people that are not only there to break them apart.
“I love you, you know,” Yasu whispers softly. Subaru makes a small huffing sound but Yasu feels him relax a bit in his embrace. “Only you,” Yasu adds, and Subaru turns around so quickly that they almost bump noses together.
“You,” he says, voice gruff and eyes fierce, “you better not be joking there.”
Yasu’s eyes widen. “Wh...” He begins but doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Subaru speaks again.
“You’re mine. I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
Yasu blinks a few times. Subaru’s hands tighten in Yasu’s shirt. Yasu opens his mouth to say something and he sees Subaru lick his lips, ready to fight back if ever Yasu was to voice any kind of disagreement.
“I... Okay,” Yasu says in the end, and he feels a smile tug at his lips. “I can live with that,” he adds, the smile only growing wider.
Subaru pouts a little. His eyes searches Yasu’s for something. Yasu leans in and kisses him softly on the lips.
“I’m not very conventional as a therapist, you of all people should know that. But you and I are not like that anymore. We haven’t been for a long time. And it’s different. You’re special. I...” Yasu pauses, looks for the right words, ones that would justify him being with Subaru like his and not with anyone else. “I love you,” he finally concludes. That’s really all there is to say, after all.
Subaru nods. His fingers follow Yasu’s arms up to hook around his neck and he pulls him down for another kiss, longer this time, and so much softer.
“Trust me, will you?” Yasu asks against Subaru’s lips.
Subaru nods again. He’s not going to say he’s sorry, Yasu knows that, but it’s okay. He’s known all along that there would be moments like this, darker, more difficult. But it’s by facing things as they come - no matter how unexpected, no matter how painful and scary - that they can truly build something together.
As he presses his forehead against Subaru’s, Yasu thinks that it’s all worth it.