Dear Sir or Madam,

[starsilence]

...I am writing to apply for the somewhat pedestrian vacancy advertised in your shop window / on your poorly designed website, in defiance of your staff's disavowal of any knowledge of such a position.  I am a student of English literature, classical languages and, currently and with the negotiable aid of two gentlemen I know only through the

Comments

[rowanwings]

*likes*

...uses facebook too much.