it is finally starting to sink in...

[starsinhereyez]

I feel a strange calmness within myself today. It feels like my world has been continuely turned upside down as of late, partially of my own choosing and partially because of the actions and decisions of others. But today... today has been okay

Comments

[nightingale13]

*tear* I was wondering where Courtney went. That seemed a lot more like you. Jackie wont say it, but she still cares.

[starsinhereyez]

thank you dear. sorry i have been so...well gone, i have just been trying to figure things out for myself.

we still need to do coffee.

i am glad to hear jackie still cares, even if she does not want to admit it.

i do care, a lot, but i am okay with the actions i have taken, and the way things are...

like i said, it is becoming easier, and i know it is for the best.

<3

[jackraven]

I do still care. And I would not mind seeing you a time before you go to philly. I want a hug.

[starsinhereyez]

jackie, i would really enjoy seeing you, and in fact would love a hug.

not playing a victim role, but it has been hard having you cut me out entirly without even talking to me about anything.

i understand that you are going on what everyone is saying etc...but it has been hard to have someone who i claim as a best friend just up and disown you.

i am glad to still hear you care, and i hope you as well could be civil and happy for me, and allow yourself to perhaps be a friend to me, and just know that my intents with any of this were never of the harsh or evil/bitchy person whatsoever.

i hope you know that. i hope you ALL know that.

<3

[shatteredstarz]

well courtney.
i dontreally know why i am commenting.
the truth is that i do care and that is the reason i am/was mad/hurt.
i just feel really fucked.
we did have some really good times.
but i can honestly say that a friend i cared about this much has never done anything to this degree to me.
i am not even mad at the fact that you are moving to philly.
its just the way you went around doing everything.
it was just all so shady.
you just lied and lied over and over again.
we are the only ones who know the truth.
so there is no use in argueing over it.
i do wish you the best in whatever you do.
but i thinks its best things be severed for the time being.
<3

[starsinhereyez]

matt, i understand your hurt and frustration, and that is why i wanted to just let you know that i was sorry for the way that things ended up

[pinkxstar]

you know my number.. i have this saturday free if you need me to move your ass BACK here.. (it was painful enough to help you leave). ;o)

p.s.-I'm REALLY glad you posted all that. good for you.