I guess private won't matter though...
Shit.
I am so confused right now. I got off of work at about five, I think. Yet, rather then go home, I decided to walk through my old home town once again, to reminisce if one should be so bold. Because I couldn't bring myself to back to Gai's place.
I want to see him, yet I don't.
Everything happened so fast after I got back to town that my head is still spinning. I found out my best friend wasn't really dead.
The guy I kinda had a crush on in high school actually was gay, so there was nothing for me to worry about as a teen. Less of course he only recently found out, possible, I suppose.
And Obito is bi-sexual. This I'm kinda annoyed about because he has a policy about fucking guys he knows, and is friends with. So he won't get with me anyway. Though I do feel that perhaps I might have a chance, if I try hard enough, but I don't want to drive him away...
Uhg, a clearer explanation of why I don't want to see Gai at the moment... he makes me feel needy. And his home is so comfortable that it makes me think I could get lost in his life, but I can't do that. Not to Gai. I shouldn't even be going out with him.
I'm so confused about everything that's happening with, Gai... Maybe I should just talk to him, and tell him about...me. My past. The life I've lived. The shit. Just to see if my suspicions are, indeed, correct.
I'll just wait to go home until after Obito and I go to the cemetery, but for now, I'll just head over to the library and read for a while.
Don't say anything about me not coming home all night, Gai. If you noticed, which I doubt, I don't think you have a clue when I get home anyway.Let alone what I do in your house when you aren't home.
Also... when I finally did go home there was a woman in the house?
Shit. I need a fucking cigarette. Badly. And a drink.
...Really now, a woman?