family portrait [1/?]
title: family portrait
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
“I don’t want to do this,” he whines for what must be the hundredth time as he’s pulled down the street by the wrist. “Taka, you’re not listening.”
Masuda turns his head, smiling, that dimple forming in his cheek. “Come on, Yuya, this is important, and I want you to be there with me.” He stops in front of a jewelry store, grabbing the handle, holding the door open for Tegoshi. He shuffles his feet across the floor, reluctantly following Masuda to a case filled with gold and diamonds, engagement rings.
He groans, resting his elbows on the case. “I still don’t see why you want me here.”
“It’s a big deal and I want your opinion,” he leans in toward Tegoshi, elbows knocking against each other, a shy smile on his face. “We’ve always done everything together. You’re my brother.”
Brother. Tegoshi repeats the word in his head. They were only brothers in a legal sense, his mother marrying Masuda’s father when they were both children, but Tegoshi hasn’t thought of the two of them like that in a long time. When they were kids, he’d liked the idea of having a brother, and Masuda was always a good one, always made time for him, looked out for him. He could still remember the exact day that changed, when he was fourteen and Masuda brought a girl home with him for the first time. Tegoshi was jealous, and it wasn’t because Masuda had a girlfriend, it was because someone was dating Masuda.
At first, he thought it was out of fear, a belief that Masuda would chose her over him, leave him alone. He tried to hide his happiness when they broke up. One night in June, when their parents were out, they decided to stay up and watch some old horror movie in the living room, huddled up on the couch. Tegoshi snuggled against him, comfortable and safe under Masuda’s arm. He snuck into Masuda’s room that night, for no reason other than his gut was telling him to, spent an hour watching his chest rise and fall steadily, studying the soft features of his face.
As far as Tegoshi was concerned, they stopped being brothers after that. It was all he could do not to feel so sick about being in love with him.
It’s hard again now, painful. Masuda is in love, so much so he’s ready to commit himself to this girl forever. And there’s nothing Tegoshi can do about it.
“What about this one? That’s nice, isn’t it?” Masuda taps on the glass, tugging on Tegoshi’s wrist to get his attention.
“It’s ugly,” Tegoshi pouts, starts pointing out different rings. “Ugly, ugly, ugly.”
Masuda sighs. “I think I know what this is about.” Tegoshi looks at him with a certain sparkle in his eyes, Masuda puts an arm over his shoulders. “You’ll be here one day, Yuya. Trust me, there’s someone out there you’re going to fall madly in love with, just like you always talk about.”
“You’re right about the second part,” he mumbles.
++++
He lays on his bed, like usual, staring at words on the pages of a book, but not actually reading them. He’s asking her tonight and there’s nothing Tegoshi can do to take his mind off that. It’s cruel, but he hopes she turns him down, hopes he comes back home looking for comfort in Tegoshi’s arms.
He’s not that lucky.
From behind the closed door of his room, he hears Masuda come home, hears his voice, happy and excited, not what he wanted. Reluctantly, he rolls off his bed, heads out into the living room. Masuda smiles at him when he comes out, it warms his heart and breaks it at the same time. “Yuya, Yukari said yes! I’m getting married!” he throws his arms around Tegoshi, hugs him tight.
“Congratulations,” Tegoshi manages to say with a forced happiness.
Masuda backs away, hands on Tegoshi’s shoulders, looking him the eye with a nervous smile. “You’re happy for me, right, Yuya? I couldn’t stand it if you were unhappy.”
No, I’m not happy. I’m in love with you. He almost says, almost. But as he opens his mouth, he can’t do it, can’t voice that shameful, sick truth. Tegoshi just nods, putting on a smile for Masuda’s benefit.
++++
“What do I do, Shige?” Tegoshi asks, forehead pressed against the table in the university cafeteria with the one person who knew what he was feeling. He was thankful that someone knew, at least then it wasn’t all boiling inside himself waiting to pop.
“Well,” Shige starts, taking a bite out of his lunch, “you can suck it up and forget about him, go bang a few chicks to make yourself feel better. Or you could tell him, which will either make him disgusted with you or make him miserable as he tries to decide between his brother and the girl he’s about to devote his life to.”
Tegoshi hits him in the arm weakly a few times. “You make me sound like a bad person no matter what.”
“Well, it’s a pretty messed up situation.” He could try to fight that statement, but it wouldn’t do any good. “I’ll be honest with you, Tegoshi. If he’s happy, you should be happy for him. Isn’t that how you’re supposed to feel about someone you love?”
“That’s easy to say when you’re with the person you love,” he says, flashing Shige a knowing look.
“Hey, you asked so I told you,” Shige responds, slightly defensive, cheeks a bit pink.
With a heavy sigh, he lowers his head back down to the table. “I wish our parents never met.”
“They met because you and Massu were friends, so for that to be true, you should never have met him. I guess you wouldn’t be having this problem.” Tegoshi closes his eyes. It’s probably true, but given the choice between being miserable and not knowing Masuda, he’d pick this every time.
++++
In the next few weeks, Tegoshi finds himself being dragged to a store by Masuda once again, this time looking for a tuxedo for the ceremony. Tegoshi follows reluctantly because Masuda said he needed him there. And there’s nothing he liked hearing more than Masuda telling him I need you.
Masuda tries on various suits, different styles, different colors, always turning to Tegoshi to ask how he looks. Beautiful, amazing, I can’t breath. “It’s okay.” He gives unenthusiastic answers each time, feigning disinterest, until one actually does leave him breathless, fitting Masuda’s body in all the right places.
“Speechless, Yuya?” he laughs, patting Tegoshi’s head. “I guess this is the one, then.” He walks over to one of the racks of suits, checking size, pulls one out, moving back toward Tegoshi, smiling. He hoists him up off the chair he’d been sitting in. “Try this on, Yuya. We might as well buy them together, right?”
Tegoshi nods, taking the suit from Masuda’s hands and going into the dressing room. As he buttons up the shirt, something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world. He pulls the jacket over his shoulders, taking deep breaths as he tries to keep a sob in his throat, taking a moment to dab his wet eyes with the tee shirt he wore in before he goes back to meet Masuda.
“Look at you, Yuya,” he says excitedly, standing behind him with hands on his arms, eyes meeting in the mirror. “You’re so handsome.” Tegoshi puts his head down, somehow unable to hold it in anymore. He cries quietly, a few tears falling, making small puddles on his shoes. “Yuya?” Masuda steps in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What?” he smiles, trying to cheerfully comforting like usual. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“The two of us,” he says in an unsteady voice, wiping his hands over his eyes. “It’s supposed to be the two of us.”
“Yuya,” Masuda puts and arm around his shoulders. “You’ll always be my best friend in the whole world. That’ll never change.”
It helps a little, but it hurts just as much.
----------------------------
I made a pretty new banner today XD
I wanted to have this done yesterday, but I was working on the Decay sequel at the same time and was sick enough that I lost motivation XD I should really be going to sleep now in an effort to feel better by Christmas Eve, so I'll do that...
(Ai no Oto is a strangly appropriate song for this XD)
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
“I don’t want to do this,” he whines for what must be the hundredth time as he’s pulled down the street by the wrist. “Taka, you’re not listening.”
Masuda turns his head, smiling, that dimple forming in his cheek. “Come on, Yuya, this is important, and I want you to be there with me.” He stops in front of a jewelry store, grabbing the handle, holding the door open for Tegoshi. He shuffles his feet across the floor, reluctantly following Masuda to a case filled with gold and diamonds, engagement rings.
He groans, resting his elbows on the case. “I still don’t see why you want me here.”
“It’s a big deal and I want your opinion,” he leans in toward Tegoshi, elbows knocking against each other, a shy smile on his face. “We’ve always done everything together. You’re my brother.”
Brother. Tegoshi repeats the word in his head. They were only brothers in a legal sense, his mother marrying Masuda’s father when they were both children, but Tegoshi hasn’t thought of the two of them like that in a long time. When they were kids, he’d liked the idea of having a brother, and Masuda was always a good one, always made time for him, looked out for him. He could still remember the exact day that changed, when he was fourteen and Masuda brought a girl home with him for the first time. Tegoshi was jealous, and it wasn’t because Masuda had a girlfriend, it was because someone was dating Masuda.
At first, he thought it was out of fear, a belief that Masuda would chose her over him, leave him alone. He tried to hide his happiness when they broke up. One night in June, when their parents were out, they decided to stay up and watch some old horror movie in the living room, huddled up on the couch. Tegoshi snuggled against him, comfortable and safe under Masuda’s arm. He snuck into Masuda’s room that night, for no reason other than his gut was telling him to, spent an hour watching his chest rise and fall steadily, studying the soft features of his face.
As far as Tegoshi was concerned, they stopped being brothers after that. It was all he could do not to feel so sick about being in love with him.
It’s hard again now, painful. Masuda is in love, so much so he’s ready to commit himself to this girl forever. And there’s nothing Tegoshi can do about it.
“What about this one? That’s nice, isn’t it?” Masuda taps on the glass, tugging on Tegoshi’s wrist to get his attention.
“It’s ugly,” Tegoshi pouts, starts pointing out different rings. “Ugly, ugly, ugly.”
Masuda sighs. “I think I know what this is about.” Tegoshi looks at him with a certain sparkle in his eyes, Masuda puts an arm over his shoulders. “You’ll be here one day, Yuya. Trust me, there’s someone out there you’re going to fall madly in love with, just like you always talk about.”
“You’re right about the second part,” he mumbles.
++++
He lays on his bed, like usual, staring at words on the pages of a book, but not actually reading them. He’s asking her tonight and there’s nothing Tegoshi can do to take his mind off that. It’s cruel, but he hopes she turns him down, hopes he comes back home looking for comfort in Tegoshi’s arms.
He’s not that lucky.
From behind the closed door of his room, he hears Masuda come home, hears his voice, happy and excited, not what he wanted. Reluctantly, he rolls off his bed, heads out into the living room. Masuda smiles at him when he comes out, it warms his heart and breaks it at the same time. “Yuya, Yukari said yes! I’m getting married!” he throws his arms around Tegoshi, hugs him tight.
“Congratulations,” Tegoshi manages to say with a forced happiness.
Masuda backs away, hands on Tegoshi’s shoulders, looking him the eye with a nervous smile. “You’re happy for me, right, Yuya? I couldn’t stand it if you were unhappy.”
No, I’m not happy. I’m in love with you. He almost says, almost. But as he opens his mouth, he can’t do it, can’t voice that shameful, sick truth. Tegoshi just nods, putting on a smile for Masuda’s benefit.
++++
“What do I do, Shige?” Tegoshi asks, forehead pressed against the table in the university cafeteria with the one person who knew what he was feeling. He was thankful that someone knew, at least then it wasn’t all boiling inside himself waiting to pop.
“Well,” Shige starts, taking a bite out of his lunch, “you can suck it up and forget about him, go bang a few chicks to make yourself feel better. Or you could tell him, which will either make him disgusted with you or make him miserable as he tries to decide between his brother and the girl he’s about to devote his life to.”
Tegoshi hits him in the arm weakly a few times. “You make me sound like a bad person no matter what.”
“Well, it’s a pretty messed up situation.” He could try to fight that statement, but it wouldn’t do any good. “I’ll be honest with you, Tegoshi. If he’s happy, you should be happy for him. Isn’t that how you’re supposed to feel about someone you love?”
“That’s easy to say when you’re with the person you love,” he says, flashing Shige a knowing look.
“Hey, you asked so I told you,” Shige responds, slightly defensive, cheeks a bit pink.
With a heavy sigh, he lowers his head back down to the table. “I wish our parents never met.”
“They met because you and Massu were friends, so for that to be true, you should never have met him. I guess you wouldn’t be having this problem.” Tegoshi closes his eyes. It’s probably true, but given the choice between being miserable and not knowing Masuda, he’d pick this every time.
++++
In the next few weeks, Tegoshi finds himself being dragged to a store by Masuda once again, this time looking for a tuxedo for the ceremony. Tegoshi follows reluctantly because Masuda said he needed him there. And there’s nothing he liked hearing more than Masuda telling him I need you.
Masuda tries on various suits, different styles, different colors, always turning to Tegoshi to ask how he looks. Beautiful, amazing, I can’t breath. “It’s okay.” He gives unenthusiastic answers each time, feigning disinterest, until one actually does leave him breathless, fitting Masuda’s body in all the right places.
“Speechless, Yuya?” he laughs, patting Tegoshi’s head. “I guess this is the one, then.” He walks over to one of the racks of suits, checking size, pulls one out, moving back toward Tegoshi, smiling. He hoists him up off the chair he’d been sitting in. “Try this on, Yuya. We might as well buy them together, right?”
Tegoshi nods, taking the suit from Masuda’s hands and going into the dressing room. As he buttons up the shirt, something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world. He pulls the jacket over his shoulders, taking deep breaths as he tries to keep a sob in his throat, taking a moment to dab his wet eyes with the tee shirt he wore in before he goes back to meet Masuda.
“Look at you, Yuya,” he says excitedly, standing behind him with hands on his arms, eyes meeting in the mirror. “You’re so handsome.” Tegoshi puts his head down, somehow unable to hold it in anymore. He cries quietly, a few tears falling, making small puddles on his shoes. “Yuya?” Masuda steps in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What?” he smiles, trying to cheerfully comforting like usual. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“The two of us,” he says in an unsteady voice, wiping his hands over his eyes. “It’s supposed to be the two of us.”
“Yuya,” Masuda puts and arm around his shoulders. “You’ll always be my best friend in the whole world. That’ll never change.”
It helps a little, but it hurts just as much.
----------------------------
I made a pretty new banner today XD
I wanted to have this done yesterday, but I was working on the Decay sequel at the same time and was sick enough that I lost motivation XD I should really be going to sleep now in an effort to feel better by Christmas Eve, so I'll do that...
(Ai no Oto is a strangly appropriate song for this XD)