i dont know why though...

last nite i became the wineO queen. and i guess i regreted it when i blew chunks ferever last nite. but hey lauren held my hair so its all good. i feel so great right now.haha. ...vasaline mind. steph(seth) and i are going to look for an apartment today. and im kinda angry at him and dont want to hangout with him cuz. he past out last nite at 9 ( Read more... )

i have to find a place to live me and steph are gonna move into an apartment.yay. man O man i heard jojo&kim are having a kid havent talked to them ferever but its great. gotta get ready fer work.ugh. just wanted to checkin

welp...i got the money for sober living.i guess there was money that my mom left behind. so that was kewl. i have shet to do. and i'm kinda stressed out. i am doing my steps and its got my mind going. i have a headache. i feel like im sick or something. but i am happy and i don't want to use. so i guess i'm on the right track. i have been thinking ( Read more... )

life is such a trip. and i've come to the realization that it's never going to get easier, you just learn how to deal better. today i worked on my 4th step and my sponsor told me to right everything that came to mind. i never knew how many resentments i had towards people. it pretty much comes down to my selfishness,jealousy, and insecurity. it's ( Read more... )

mi vida loca. not a dull second.i had been inpatient in a recovery program for the past 4mts. i was doing good. for the first time in a long time i felt truly happy.but oh no i don't feel comfortable when shits going right. so someone is selling dope in rehab(aint that a bitch) and my nose starts twitching cause "i need it" and i'm sitting in my ( Read more... )

well i finally stepped up. i checked myself into rehab and admitted to my family i have a problem. i've been sober 61 days (yay me) i still have 4mt.s left in the program. i am doing inpatient because i need to be locked away from it. i am proud of myself. i am feeling alot better. through this program i get support and i found a sponsor. i go to ( Read more... )

wow... i haven't written for ages. i'm fucking up again.ahhhh!!! i'm about to hit rock bottom. no job, no home, no family, and pretty much no nothing to sum it all up. soO in the last few months some crazy shit has been happening *not unususal* me and sethypoo broke up in june. *tear. i relapsed AGAIN i lost my job, my home, my car in one big swoop ( Read more... )

love hurts

when i first moved to california in november i was living with my friend natalie and her family of 10 people. it didn't work out very well so now i'm living with my boyfriend seth. i'm still looking for a job and doing independent studies at coast. i started going in a downward spiral a few months ago when i relapsed and started doing speed again. ( Read more... )