The Barbie Game

[starzrider]

     I hope I'm not the only one who has trouble letting go of something that reminds them of someone who is gone, even though the ending was terrible. I can understand treasuring things related to a loved one when the ending was due to death, or the ending was a mutual decision. What happened between me and my ex-friend S was a rupture so profound

Comments

[rhiannonmai]

Totally get it!
I found out recently that my first boyfriend died back in 2007. The only pictures I have left of him are in my Jr. high year book. The 8th grade group graduation picture he was in that I used to have was given to Sib #3. All four of us went to the same schools. But for some reason the N-parents only associate Sib #3 with this Jr. high school. So they gave photo to her. Even though N-mom swore "on a stack of bibles" (There has to be a place in Hell for people who do this!)that she would get it back from Sib #3. It was never to be seen again.
This first boyfriend is that "happy place" memory I retreat into in my mind when things get bad. I admit that I cling to anything that has any association with him. I still have the two silver rings that he gave me. I only wear them some times because I'm afraid of losing them. I wish I still had the photograph though.

[starzrider]

Do you think the school would have a copy you could get? I agree on the "special place in hell" for folks who swear on bibles who have no intentions of following through....

[rhiannonmai]

I haven't tried to go back to the school to see if they still have those photos. Right now I don't have the time or energy to try.

[starzrider]

I hear you on that.I have time, but absolutely no energy anymore. Maybe one day....

[bastet11191967]

I had a boyfriend 10 years ago that gave me a brown teddy bear and a gold necklace and bracelet shortly after we met and started seeing each other. After I broke it off with him because he had some serious problems and preferred to blame me for them, I had the stuff for a while. (I think the guy was an N, reflecting back.) After some time, I eventually sold off the jewelry and donated the bear to a local homeless shelter. My thoughts were that, while looking at the stuff may bring some painful memories back for me, perhaps for someone else, it can give them some joy, since they are unaware of the previous "history". I later read that it was healthy to get rid of anything associated with the ex as part of the grieving and moving on process.

If you decide to to sell the 1961 Barbie, Queen of the Prom on eBay, I would not blame you.

[starzrider]

The ultimate irony would be if she bought it--she is a Barbie collector. That's why I bought it in the first place. She uses E-Bay a lot for her Barbie collection. I think that's when I will know when I am pretty much through with the grief--when I can deal with the Barbie Game

[starzrider]

Thank you for understanding, Cat. It's just that I felt so dopey. *Hugs*

[stepsolightly]

No, I understand. I think that's something people do...just to preserve some kind of memory. I got rid of so many things that reminded me of my abuser when I was in the "imminent danger zone" of going back, and when I was really angry. Now I want a lot of them back. I could never get rid of our high school letters to each other though. I still have most of them. :| So no, I understand, and I think you'll be glad you kept it. <3

[starzrider]

I don't think I can keep it. I just can't do anything with it just yet. It's like I'm just not ready to let go, even though I know I have to.