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Dec 17, 2012 20:50


i haven't felt this suicidal in years.

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hydrozoa December 18 2012, 04:52:29 UTC
what's wrong?

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stateofemergncy December 18 2012, 09:03:34 UTC
i'm just going through a bad funk at the moment. i suffer from anxiety and, to a lesser degree, depression (more accurately, my anxiety problems sometimes result in depression). i treat it with meds and have cognitive behavioral therapy to help cope with it. several months ago, i lowered my dosage of anti-depressant (with blessings from my psychiatrist and psychologist) - choosing to rely more on behavioral therapy to deal with it. for the most part, it's been fine and i'm learning more about my anxiety and depression - conditions, cycles, what to do to cope with it.

anyway, my anxiety level's been up lately. friday got me real down. and on monday, something pushed me into depression. and it was that same crazy level of depression i had after my first week of taking anti-depressants: after days of feeling numb, wanting to jump off parking garages, or take a full bottle of sleeping pills and benzodiazepines with a bottle of booze and see what happens. monday was all about feeling like a worthless shit and trying to figure out ways to ( ... )

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hydrozoa December 19 2012, 20:56:23 UTC
no problem; it's not TMI. i have anxiety too, and it's been pretty bad lately as well. i totally feel you.

and i agree--keeping busy seems to be the only thing that works. keep on keepin' on, my friend. <3

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stateofemergncy December 19 2012, 23:06:55 UTC
thanks. the past two days have been better. still irritable, but i don't feel like throttling myself so much.

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