To clarify my point (if I can, this inability to articulate is driving me bonkers) about Lily and Narcissa. JKR has supposedly set this series up so that all the Houses will turn out to be equal, if different; thus, at least in the HP-verse, all people are equal, if different. Great real-world message. But the problem is, she's juxtaposed that
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Maybe there's something about Lily's sacrifice that we don't know yet. JKR has this way of wanting to have her cake and eat it, too. It's like someone was saying in that poll; she blamed Harry before Draco because she has higher expectations of him, as the hero. Same with Hermione and Umbridge. But JKR doesn't seem to think the fact that her heroes often do lower themselves to the level of her villains is any reason to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt every time; or, conversely, enough to actually give the villains that same benefit. It's not a level playing field, which sucks because she's writing as thought it is.
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And I think, that no matter how objective and equal someone tries to make things there is always someone or something that comes out on top. Most people have too strong of a natural inclination about their morals. I'm not saying any one person's are better, but rather that each person can't help but hold stronger to what they believe to be "Right".
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And with Lily, I think it was that she died because it was in dying for Harry that she showed that love. If she hadn't died, it wouldn't have mattered, at least in JKR's world. Which is why, yes, Narcissa does end up looking less good, even though I think that many would argue that what she does is motivated by that same desire and is also much more practical. I mean, I thnk it was.
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