a lament

[stauros]

I was wrong.  I am wrong.  I will be wrong again.  To those I have misled, disappointed or failed, I am deeply sorry.  I meant better and I wanted better for you.

It's not wounded pride.  It's bewilderment for myself, and a shattered heart for my children and my friends.  What did I miss?  How did four decades of trust in Jesus Christ yield no

Comments

[torakiyoshi]

If you read through the Psalms, you will see how often David asks, "How long, O Lord, until" x, y, or z. Read what happened to Job, and his friends insistence that he was suffering because of his own misdeeds. Job resisted them, and called on God to explain why. He called on God to just curse him and end it. He called on God to make it better. But "in all this, Job did not sin." And finally, at the end, God showed up and answered him. He scolded Job's friedns for their misguided and false teachings (which sound very, VERY much like what the modern American Evangelical church is teaching). And He rewarded Job for his faithfulness. Not saying that we're going to end up twice as wealthy as we were before. But the thing that really impressed me last night (I walked into a study on Job 38) is simply the fact that God showed up. You are not alone. You are not at fault

[stauros]

short response: thank you very much. This helps. I will reread your good words and reply as time permits.

[torakiyoshi]

Take your time. We are fallen people; God knows that. Things don't always go perfect. In fact, a lot of times they don't. But keep leaning on God. 2 Cor 12.7-10 saved my life, quite literally, because I was ready to kill myself over my failures. But God put a man in my way who spoke about this verse. Live in grace, my brother.

[literary_equine]

[notebuyer]

Trust him. Pray for the peace that comes from that trust. Remember that he views sin as something that blocks your view of him, and take the time to confess, at least weekly. Don’t be disappointed if you end up with the same list for a while. Go through your day with God at breakfast, and think about when you will be tempted to rely on something other than Him. Ask for his help to make that go better. Ask Him to be present with you through the day.

This could get annoying and longer. I’ll just recommend either John Baille’s book with a month of devotions, or Lancelot Andrewes’s book, Kepler is a good translation. Continue to commit to reading 10 pages a day of the Bible. It’s more familiar after a few times.

I’m praying for you.

Arnold