"you know, I would be totally into you if you just toned it down a little" (actually got that one a couple of times) responded to with "BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA"
Oo, dangerous! I had a boyfriend once, when I was quite naive, who worked to squelch me socially and asked me very sweetly not to wear new clothes out in public unless I wore them "for him" first...tried to tone me down in a million little ways.
And then he had the nerve to tell me "you're not as fun as you used to be."
I think statements like that are 1) cheap sadistic thrills 2) a quick & valuable clue as to someone's values & social skills 3) often a subconscious test to see if the woman's self esteem is low enough to permit further boundary-fuckery.
Have you watched Carnivale? Beautiful depression-era sets, cool costumes, great actors, nice creepy story. Cancelled after 2 seasons (the story moved a frustratingly slow for American audiences, apparently) but still utterly worth watching via Netflix. There is a dancer character on there, full-figured in her late 30's or early 40's, who is hot and an inarguable sex symbol and totally meant that way. She was awesome.
I know there isn't a slew of such characters, but every single one helps and I'm happy every time I see it.
I'm with ya! As long as we make it the other way as well. I'm sick of being told how hot I could be if I ate. Heh...Like I need to eat even more than I already do!
Yeah, people with that kind of attitude tend not to be people worth the interest.
Last year when I started getting out and meeting people I pretty much only wore baggy clothing because I figured no one wants to see *my* body. Even when I was young and skinny I didn't think I was attractive. Now I'm wearing tight outfits that emphasize my curves while (hopefully) de-emphasizing the portions I personally don't like so much...and who cares what other people think! *I* enjoy my body now and that's far more important to me. The fact that others might enjoy it as well is just an added bonus.
So much of attraction for me is all about the personality, though. People who fit in to our society's ideal of attraction can have horrible or wonderful personalities. No matter their appearance, though, the former becomes ugly to me.
So I'm with you! I've always wanted to storm a castle anyway...
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"you know, I would be totally into you if you just toned it down a little" (actually got that one a couple of times) responded to with "BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA"
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And then he had the nerve to tell me "you're not as fun as you used to be."
(I left).
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Have you watched Carnivale? Beautiful depression-era sets, cool costumes, great actors, nice creepy story. Cancelled after 2 seasons (the story moved a frustratingly slow for American audiences, apparently) but still utterly worth watching via Netflix. There is a dancer character on there, full-figured in her late 30's or early 40's, who is hot and an inarguable sex symbol and totally meant that way. She was awesome.
I know there isn't a slew of such characters, but every single one helps and I'm happy every time I see it.
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and yup, exactly.
This sort of behavior (even just similar) makes me want to punch people in the nose. One quick, but incredibly firm, jab.
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And then he married someone much larger than I. Twice, come to think of it.
In his defense, he was only a 19, and he did eventually mostly get over himself. Mostly. And I think he apologized years later.
(But, dude, I was 136lbs. 20lbs would have made me skin and bones!)
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Yeah, people with that kind of attitude tend not to be people worth the interest.
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So much of attraction for me is all about the personality, though. People who fit in to our society's ideal of attraction can have horrible or wonderful personalities. No matter their appearance, though, the former becomes ugly to me.
So I'm with you! I've always wanted to storm a castle anyway...
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