fic: catching stars to keep (the heavy heart remix)
catching stars to keep (the heavy heart remix)
BTS, V/Jungkook & V/Jimin, PG-13, ~9.2k
Jeon Jungkook is eighteen years, two hundred and one days, eighteen hours, thirty two minutes, and fifty five seconds old when he meets his soulmate.
This is a remix of tonight, we'll defy the stars (hello my old heart) by idyleski for kpop_ficmix. Notes are at the end!
When Jungkook emerges from the food line and spots Junhoe and Donghyuk occupying their usual table, he has half a mind to turn around in the other direction and join the table of overachievers with matching bowl cuts for lunch.
He doesn't, though, because Donghyuk would probably get up and follow him anyway and then Junhoe, not wanting to be left alone, would be right behind him. Resistance is futile.
"Can we please," Jungkook says, setting his tray down on the table before either of them can get a word out, "not do the whole soulmate thing right now? Please?"
Donghyuk purses his lips together in a thoughtful expression, pondering this request for all of five seconds before he asks, cheerfully, "So, how are you feeling?"
"Like I just bombed that English test," Jungkook says, shrugging.
Donghyuk scowls at him, flicking a stray grain of rice across the table. "You're so unromantic. I can't believe today is the day you meet your soulmate and you're so calm. Junhoe, how did you feel when you met yours?"
"I was twelve," Junhoe points out, "I probably wanted to shit my pants."
"Would it be more exciting for you if I wanted to shit my pants?" Jungkook asks Donghyuk.
"Yes," Donghyuk says with a heavily exaggerated sigh. "Some people have to wait until they are thirty to meet their soulmates and thus must live vicariously through you lucky bastards."
"Can we change the subject?" Jungkook asks, partially for his own benefit and partially because Donghyuk always gets a little bummed when he's reminded of his timer. He likes Donghyuk, but not emo Donghyuk. "Are you guys still going to sign up for dance lessons before cram school tonight?"
"Of course. But we have to get there early." Donghyuk shoots a pointed look in Junhoe's direction. "You know how quickly the spaces for Hoseok ssaem's class fill up."
"What does that mean?" Junhoe asks, offended.
"It means you can't spend thirty minutes after school macking on your boyfriend."
"Donghyuk, Jinhwan hyung and I do not mack on each other. You're so-"
This is the point where Jungkook usually tunes them out. Their bickering is so frequent that if Jungkook didn't know any better, he might think they were soulmates themselves. He pushes some soybean soup around on his tray with his spoon, but he can't bring himself to eat.
The truth is Jungkook kind of does feel like shitting his pants. He knows even without looking at his wrist that he has about six hours left until he meets his soulmate. He's always thought himself above all the soulmate hype, not one for comparing timers with his classmates or planning his whole future around a stranger he hasn't even met yet. But now that he's spent the last month watching the numbers get smaller and smaller, trying not to look at his wrist now is like trying to ignore a blinking neon sign right in front of his face. It's been both the longest and shortest 24 hours of his life.
His parents had both stayed home from work that morning to see him off. "I hope she comes from a good family," his father had said, smiling proudly at Jungkook. His older brother's soulmate had come from three generations of doctors.
"Let's just hope Jungkookie likes her," she said as she smoothed down Jungkook's collar. "Be polite. Don't scare her away. I know how you get."
He hadn't even been worried about his shyness until his mother said that and now he has to add making sure he can spit out a full sentence in front of his soulmate to add to his worries.
"Jungkook?" Donghyuk's voice brings him back to reality. "You okay?"
"What if it's a really old guy?" Jungkook says, suddenly stricken. "Or I don't know, a baby. What if my soulmate is a baby?"
Junhoe laughs at him. "Or she might have two heads, you never know."
Jungkook lets his head drop down. "Can I call out sick from my destiny?" he asks the table.
"My grandmother always told me that if you try to intervene at all, if you, like, change your plans or something, that fate will skip over you and you'll never meet your soulmate," Donghyuk says, reaching over to pat Jungkook's elbow.
"Is that supposed to be reassuring?"
"Just think," Junhoe says, "if your soulmate is a baby, you'll be as old as Donghyuk before you ever get laid."
By the time they escape from self-study, Jungkook has less than an hour left. He'd switched his watch over to his left wrist sometime during math, the constantly decreasing timer catching his eye every time he looked at his paper to scribble down a problem. He has more important things to worry about than some stupid person he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with, like making sure he secures a spot in Jung Hoseok's dance class.
On the subway, they gather around Junhoe's phone to watch videos of Hoseok performing with the rest of his crew. Even with the crappy lighting and the heavy bass overpowering the rest of the audio, Hoseok is still as captivating a dancer as he was when Jungkook first saw him perform at an underground showcase last year. Almost enough to distract Jungkook from the butterflies in his stomach.
When it does happen, it's almost anti-climactic.
There's already a crowd of teen boys in various school uniforms loitering around the dance studio entrance when the three of them arrive, though they're able to get a place not too far back in line. After a few minutes, the door opens and the crowd surges forward, but the it's only a guy with a shock of orange hair trying to exit the studio.
"No sign up, sorry, I'm just trying to get to my biology class," he says over a few disappointed grumbles, holding his arms up in surrender.
Years later, Jungkook will not remember what he was planning on telling Donghyuk. He steps back to tell him something just as the guy with orange hair collides into his elbow.
Jungkook gasps, first in surprise and then because he feels it. A warmth on his wrist, just for an instant, like passing his hand through a flame.
"Jeon Jungkook?" the stranger asks, looking down at his own wrist and then back up to Jungkook.. "Is that your name?"
Jungkook fumbles with the strap of his watch, his fingers shaking. He has a feeling he knows what he will find, but he almost drops it on the ground when he sees it, the stopped zeroes and a name scrawled messily underneath it. "Kim Taehyung?"
It sounds familiar against his lips, something like deja vu. This is his soulmate.
"Well damn," Jungkook thinks he hears Donghyuk say.
There is a moment of silence, the both of them staring at each other with stunned faces. And then Kim Taehyung laughs, lips stretching to reveal a smile so wide it's almost rectangular. Jungkook ekes out a nervous chuckle in turn.
"You're really cute," Taehyung says.
"I was afraid you might be an old guy," Jungkook admits, cheeks flushing. Behind him, Junhoe wheezes.
"Only on the weekends," Taehyung says. The line starts to move again and Jungkook is pushed toward the door along with the crowd. Taehyung quickly reaches for his hand, holding him in place. "Listen, I have class in like ten minutes so I can't stick around, but give me your number, okay? Let's meet up tomorrow."
Jungkook is able to stall the other impatient high schoolers long enough to exchange numbers, and then Taehyung is waving at him over his shoulder, calling out, "It was nice to meet you!"
As soon as Taehyung rounds the corner away from them, Jungkook sags back against the studio window, catching his breath. "Holy shit," he says. "Holy shit."
He's eighteen years old and he's just met his soulmate.
Somehow, the next day manages to be even more nerve-wracking. Jungkook is early to their meet-up and though he barely tolerates the taste of coffee, he orders a large drink and downs half of it before six even rolls around. Even without the caffeine, Jungkook is jittery enough. His fingers drum against the tabletop as he waits, trying to look like he's not staring at the door.
It'd almost felt like a dream when Jungkook woke up that morning, but looking down at his timer, it still read 00:00:00:00, with a messy 김태형 underneath.
Kim Taehyung. Jungkook's soulmate.
Jungkook's soulmate, Kim Taehyung, who finally arrives to the coffee shop in a flurry of energy, wind gusting behind him as he hurries through the door. He waves enthusiastically, as though Jungkook could possibly miss him in the crowd.
"I'm sorry I'm late," Taehyung says as he collapses down in the seat across from Jungkook. He's panting. "My class got out late and I tried to run here but I'm not that fast these days, I'm getting old."
"I thought that was only on the weekends," Jungkook says.
"Attention to detail," Taehyung says with a firm nod, "a good trait in a partner. So, tell me, are you a dog person or a cat person? Stomach sleeper? Back sleeper? Side? Wait, I haven't even asked how old you are. You're not a first year are you? That might be a little weird."
Taehyung is looking at him expectantly, leaning in so close that he must be able to feel Jungkook's legs jittering. Jungkook's eyes go wide. "I- what?"
"Am I freaking you out?" Taehyung asks, looking a bit distressed. "Jimin told me not to be too weird. I'm just excited."
"No," Jungkook says, which really means yes. "It's just a lot to take in. All of this. I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about any of it."
"Hey," Taehyung says. He touches Jungkook's knee under the table, and Jungkook doesn't know if this is part of the whole soulmate deal but he swears he can feel the warmth from Taehyung's hand even through his uniform khakis. "We don't have to like- I want us to get to know each other first. As friends. There's no time frame." Taehyung grins a little. "There's really no rush, I hear we have, like, the rest of our lives or something."
At this, Jungkook laughs. Taehyung is still touching him, fingers spread out over his thigh, and it's nice. Comforting, even. A reminder that Jungkook isn't the only one on a blind date with destiny.
"I'm eighteen," Jungkook says. "I'll be nineteen in September. What were the other questions again?"
Jungkook has always been shy. He was that kid in preschool whose mom had to practically force to play with the other kids. The only reason he's been able to hang onto Junhoe and Donghyuk as long as he has is because Donghyuk is some kind of human parasite, although a very kind one, who attached himself to Jungkook on his first day at his new school.
His elementary teachers called him slow to warm up. Taehyung, on the other hand, is 0 to 100 in two seconds flat.
Taehyung is loud, and touchy, and he doesn't know the meaning of the word stranger. He likes playing with kids in the park, greets every dog he sees on the street, and when he asks the cashier at GS25 how she's doing, he really does want to know.
The only strange thing about it is how quickly Jungkook finds himself not minding any of that.
They've been on a few dates. Well-it's not dating, exactly. It's "getting to know each other." It's Jungkook kicking Taehyung's ass at the PC bang, it's Taehyung waiting around for Jungkook after school just to walk him to cram school (and sometimes buying him bindaetteok along the way), it's walking along the Han River and the back of Jungkook's hand brushing against Taehyung's until Taehyung finally takes it, asking, "Is this okay?"
Jungkook likes Taehyung. He's supposed to, it's in the design plans of the universe after all, but that doesn't mean he's excluded from the butterflies in the stomach, weak in the knees stage. That would be too gracious.
"Getting to know each other" might not be dating, but tonight feels like a real date. It's a weekend and there are no class schedules to work around.
Even in the crowd, Jungkook immediately spots Taehyung, leaning against a lamp post and scrolling through his phone. If his outfit is anything to go by, he must think it's a date too. His hair is pushed back off his forehead and for once is he's wearing both closed toe shoes and pants that fit.
He's completely immersed in his phone when Jungkook sneaks up on him, leaning right into his personal space to whisper, "You have nice eyebrows."
Taehyung practically jumps, his shoulder jerking up into Jungkook's chin (ouch) but he beams when he sees who it is.
"You have nice everything," Taehyung says, reaching down to hold Jungkook's hand. "I like your bunny teeth."
Hongdae is cool enough during the daytime, but at night it thrives. It's not even that late but the streets are all full of other couples, girls dressed up to go clubbing, guys who are already falling over themselves drunk. The air is thick with cigarette smoke and the smell of street food. Music permeates the streets.
Taehyung drags him over to a few of the shops. His style is eclectic, a strange mix of sportswear and things that Jungkook thinks Seo Taiji would have worn in the 90s before either of them had been born. Jungkook is comparatively simple-t-shirts, beanies, Timberlands-but he plays along with Taehyung, letting him hold up shirts and jewelry he thinks Jungkook would look good in.
"You've been to Hongdae, right?" Taehyung asks him, now swinging a shopping bag in his free hand. Another pair of big pants and a choker that complimented the long line of his neck.
"I've lived outside of Seoul for three years now," Jungkook says, like duh. "Just not at night. I have a curfew."
"What about tonight?"
Jungkook squeezes Taehyung's hand. "You're my soulmate, now my parents don't care."
"Well, you'll have to come back when Namjoon and Yoongi are performing, they're fucking amazing," Taehyung tells him. "Sometimes Hoseok performs too, he's an amazing dancer, yeah, but he's a way better rapper than people expect."
"Cool, yeah. Let's do it sometime," Jungkook says.
"I can't come, they banned me for being too enthusiastic," Taehyung says with a pout. "Apparently I embarrass them."
Jungkook can't help but laugh. "That is just about the least shocking thing I've ever heard."
"Wow, some kind of supportive boyfriend you are." Taehyung looks over at Jungkook and it's hard to tell under the glow of neon signs, but he might be blushing. "That's okay, right?"
"It's okay," Jungkook says, immediately. He's blushing now too. "It's definitely okay."
Around one corner, they end up watching a guy play acoustic versions of pop songs for a while. He's got a nice voice and Jungkook would be content to watch him finish his set, but Taehyung nudges him in the opposite direction. "I have something I want to show you."
He leads Jungkook to the children's park, where the square is now lit up with spotlights and full of people dancing with balloons waving around in the air. The weird thing is that aside from a few girls screaming and the noise coming from the surrounding shops, there's no music. Instead, they're all wearing headphones.
"It's called silent disco," Taehyung says, slapping a few bills down on the sign-up table before Jungkook can even locate his wallet. "It looks kind of lame but it's fun, I swear!"
Taehyung helps Jungkook slide the bulky headphones over his ears and then the DJ's music fills his ears.
They blend easily into the crowd. It's a mix of people, some older adults and then some teens like Jungkook. Some people hardly do more than shuffle their feet while others are jumping up and down to the beat. Jungkook isn't at all surprised to find that Taehyung is more the wild type.
Jungkook doesn't love crowds of people, but it's not hard to forget the other people, to focus just on Taehyung's hands in his, their bodies pressing together as they dance. Taehyung is grinning, wide and carefree, and it's not the first time Jungkook has noticed that he is kind of ridiculously beautiful, but it's the first time Jungkook's ever been left breathless by it.
The music swells, climactic, and he pulls Taehyung in even closer, hands riding low on his hips, until there's no space left between the two of them. Jungkook doesn't remember tilting his head down. He blinks and then Taehyung is kissing him.
It's his first kiss, he has no idea what he's doing but he can tell Taehyung has had some practice with the way he guides Jungkook's head, coaxing his mouth open with his tongue.
Jungkook feels it all the way down to his toes.
"You know," Jungkook says as he watches Taehyung splash his way back up to the sidewalk, sandals squelching loudly, "if you weren't good looking, you would just be that weird guy talking to other people's children."
"But I am good looking," Taehyung says, flicking his wet hair at Jungkook.
"Eh, you're okay."
Taehyung mock gasps, holding his hand to his chest. "Jungkookie, you wound me."
It's hot as fuck and Jungkook's teachers have been throwing assignments at them right and left as summer break approaches, but Taehyung had called him, whining about how Jimin had dance classes to teach that day and how he wanted to eat bingsu and go to Cheonggyecheon. Of course, it wouldn't be Taehyung if their afternoon didn't include joining in on a water balloon fight with some primary school kids while Jungkook watched from the steps, cheering for anyone who landed a hit on Taehyung.
"So, I was thinking," Taehyung says.
"Thinking what?"
"When your break starts, do you maybe want to meet Jimin?"
Jungkook tilts his head up to look at Taehyung. He's been going through this phase where he's been cutting holes into everything he owns, and while Jungkook doesn't mind the glimpses of bare skin, he kind of hopes Taehyung ends up with stupid tanlines just to spite him. "Really?"
"I mean, it's time, don't you think? You're both," Taehyung pauses, his mouth curving into a smile as he searches for the words. "You're both important to me. You should meet. I think you guys would get along."
Of course he would never say this to Taehyung, but Jungkook isn't actually sure that's true. He already feels like he's competing with Jimin for Taehyung's time, but he doesn't want to that guy, the one who gets jealous over best friends. "Well he likes dance," Jungkook says, "and you. So he must have good taste."
Taehyung leans in, pressing his lips to the apple of his cheek. The sun is warm. Jungkook's face is probably warmer. "Jeon Jungkook being sweet, who knew you had it in you?"
Jungkook tilts his head to the sky and he thinks, for a moment, how nice it would be if things could be this easy forever.
Leave it to Taehyung to decide that the first weekend after summer break is a good time to go to the zoo. Seoul Grand Park is teeming with families and Jungkook sticks out like a sore thumb waiting around at the front entrance.
He hears Taehyung before he sees him, a group of tourists blocking Jungkook's view, but when as they disperse, Jungkook catches sight of Taehyung's hand grasping another boy's. Weird.
Jungkook doesn't get time to process this because as soon as Taehyung reaches him, he launches himself at Jungkook, arms wrapping around his neck. "Jungkookie!" Taehyung says into his neck. "This is the Jimin I was telling you about." He gestures so emphatically that Jimin has to grab his snapback to keep it from flying off. Jungkook can relate.
In some ways, Jungkook feels like he already knows Jimin, as much as Taehyung talks about him. They've been friends for years, they do everything together. The definition of codependency. He's seen pictures too, Taehyung's camera roll full of selcas of the two of them and a surprising number of photos taken while Jimin is asleep. Jimin is smaller in person, almost a full head shorter than Taehyung, and where Taehyung could be mistaken for a model, Jimin's round cheeks give him more of a boy-next-door charm.
They compliment each other well. Jungkook can't help the way he stares down at their hands, intertwined only just a moment ago. A streak of something bitter courses through his veins. It feels a lot like jealousy.
"He's shorter in real life," Jungkook says. "Do I actually need to call him hyung?"
It's immature, but Taehyung doesn't seem to notice the bite in Jungkook's voice. He laughs, and then Jimin laughs too, though it doesn't sound entirely convincing.
"Of course you do," Jimin says, leaning over Taehyung to ruffle Jungkook's hair.
"Let's go," Taehyung says, and this time he reaches for both of their hands, swinging their arms like a little kid. "I want to get a good spot for the lion feeding."
It's a little awkward at first. The get through the basic introductory questions-where are you from? Busan? Oh me too.-though Jimin remains tight-lipped when Jungkook asks him about school and Taehyung is quick to change the subject, drawing their attention to the elephant exhibit.
"He used to be obsessed with elephants," Jimin tells Jungkook as Taehyung leans all the way over the railing. He's setting a bad example for the kids around him. "Has he shown you his elephant moles?"
"Elephant moles?"
Without looking back, Taehyung extends his arm and Jimin catches it. "Elephant," he says, pinching a bit of skin on Taehyung's upper arm. "See?"
Jungkook grins. Only someone like Taehyung could come up with something like that. "I have one on my thigh," he says, and Taehyung grins back at him over his shoulder.
"See, Jungkook, this is why we're soulmates."
If Jungkook had noticed the look of hurt that flashed across Jimin's face then, it might have saved him from the months of slow realization that something was not right. Maybe then he could've prepared himself.
But Jungkook doesn't notice. He's too busy looking at Taehyung.
Toward the end of the afternoon, Taehyung makes a run for the bathroom, blaming the jjajangmyeon they'd eaten earlier and leaving Jimin and Jungkook to wait on the bench outside.
"So," Jungkook says after it becomes clear that Jimin isn't going to say anything. Jungkook isn't exactly known for his conversational skills, but he feels like he should at least try for Taehyung's sake. He wants them to get along so bad. "Hyung said you teach dance?"
"Just little kids right now. They're a lot of fun."
"Is that what you want to do?" Jungkook asks. "Like, you know, career wise?"
Jimin coughs, eyes flicking down to the ground for a moment. "I don't really have a lot of traditional options. I like dancing, I like teaching. What about you? Taehyung said you were taking lessons?"
"When classes start up again. I'm in Hoseok ssaem's hip hop class."
"You'll like him," Jimin says. "He's good. He works you hard but he's the best to learn from."
Jungkook leans back against the bench. His nose feels burnt. He should've listened to his mother's advice about sunscreen. "I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other."
"Seems like it," Jimin hums.
Summer break passes by in a blur. With the CSAT simulation approaching, Jungkook should be studying, like Donghyuk, who has three different private tutors and bags under his eyes that span halfway down his cheeks, but instead he spends most of it just fucking around.
Taehyung introduces him to the rest of his friends. Hoseok, who he can now call hyung instead of teacher, and his soulmates Yoongi and Namjoon. (It's rare, Jungkook knows. Even more rare than a same sex partner, but it's been known to happen.) His secret favorite hyung is Seokjin, who sneaks him treats from the bakery when they meet up. Sometimes Hyosang, Seokjin's soulmate, joins them, but he's always busy with his music producing.
And Jimin. Jungkook spends a lot of time with Jimin. Never one on one, not that he's trying to avoid it (Jimin might be) but there's always Taehyung to act as the buffer between the two of them.
If they get lucky, it's just the two of them.
jimin's teaching a late class tonight, want to come over? Taehyung had texted him earlier, and Jungkook had been at the door putting on his shoes in an instant. He's a teenager with a boyfriend he really, really likes kissing. What can he say?
It's after, when they're both sated and Taehyung has wrapped himself around Jungkook's body even though they're both sweaty and gross, that he says, "Hey, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Jungkook has Taehyung's fingers trapped in his grasp, a one-sided thumb war. He likes Taehyung's hands. "Go on."
"It's about Jimin," Taehyung says.
"Is he a secret agent?" Jungkook guesses. "Does he have two dicks?"
"Why are those your first two assumptions? But no, I'm serious."
Jungkook glances down at Taehyung. He's frowning. Jungkook releases his hand. "Does he not like me?" Jungkook asks, suddenly worried.
"No, no. He likes you," Taehyung says, punctuating it with a nuzzle against Jungkook's neck. "It's his soulmate."
It's not like Jungkook hasn't noticed that Jimin always wears a sweatband or a watch over his left wrist, but it's considered rude to ask, so he's never brought it up. "What about it?"
"He kind of. He doesn't have one."
Jungkook sucks in a breath. "Like, at all?" He didn't think it was possible. "They didn't die?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "His just stopped one day. No name."
"Fuck," Jungkook says.
"You can't tell anyone," Taehyung says, pressing himself up onto his elbows so he can look Jungkook in the eye. His tone is more serious than Jungkook has ever heard. "I'm telling you because I trust you, okay? You can't tell anyone."
"I wouldn't."
"And don't look at him like he's a freak. He doesn't want pity."
"I won't," Jungkook tells him, but it's easier said than done.
The next time the three of them are together, watching some Japanese animation that Taehyung picked out, Jungkook keeps catching himself looking at Jimin's wrist. Jimin's not oblivious, though, and when Taehyung leaves the room to take a phone call from his dad, he turns to Jungkook. "He told you, didn't you?"
Jungkook nods slowly. "Is that okay?"
"He asked me if he could," Jimin says, resigned. "It's okay if you want to look."
He extends his wrist, and Jungkook takes it in his hand as Jimin slides his sweatband off. Jungkook sees it, the stopped zeroes and the blank space on his skin where a tattooed name should be. Jungkook runs his thumb over Jimin's veins and it strikes him then that Jimin is exposing the most intimate part of himself to Jungkook, his deepest secret. It's a responsibility Jungkook isn't sure he wants.
"I've never met anyone who, you know-" Jungkook trails off.
"Well, now you have."
Jungkook releases Jimin's wrist, and Jimin pulls it back to his chest, guarding it with his right hand.
"And your parents?" Jungkook asks.
"They never reported it," Jimin says in a distant voice. "The last kind thing they ever did for me."
"I'm sorry," Jungkook says. He doesn't know what else he can say.
Taehyung returns then, taking in their serious faces with his eyes narrowed. "Why the long faces? Did something sad happen in the movie?"
Jungkook spends the rest of the movie holding his own wrist, his thumb tracing over the blocky lines of Taehyung's handwriting, reminding himself that it's not going anywhere.
Jungkook has been working on his audition piece for the better part of three months, but as the date looms closer, he's had to spend every waking minute in the studio to get ready. Hoseok's been helping him out and while his demeanor ordinarily suggests nothing short of sunshine and baby kittens, he's downright ruthless in his critique. Jungkook spends the first half of the day at the dance studio going over the same opening eight counts until he can't stand Chris Brown's voice, at which point he trudges his way over to Taehyung's.
It's Jimin who answers the door. "Taehyung isn't here," he says in lieu of a greeting, shuffling back to the couch. He's watching a drama, something with Song Jihyo that Jungkook doesn't recognize, and he's still wearing his pajama pants. Right, he wasn't at the studio. This must be Jimin's day off. "He's at school."
Jungkook had just assumed Taehyung would be here. For someone enrolled in a university, he doesn't seem to actually spend a lot of time there. "Where is he?"
"He's helping a classmate with some photography project," Jimin says, shrugging. "Something about a saxophone and a pair of women's heels?"
"What the fuck kind of project is that?"
"I didn't ask. I sort of figured it was probably better in my imagination than it could possibly be in real life." He flashes Jungkook a weak grin. "So, what's up with you?"
"Oh, nothing. I'm just so tired of working on my audition piece and I was going to see if hyung wanted to come with me to the jewelry store. I'm going to start stretching my ears," Jungkook tells him.
"Your teachers okay with that?" Jimin asks, raising an eyebrow.
"The first sizes are so small, no one will notice." Not that anyone would care, not with college entrance occupying everyone's mind. "But it's okay. I'll just go alone."
"I'll go with you," Jimin says. Jungkook must look as surprised as he feels, because Jimin adds, "I mean. If you don't mind the company. I wanted to get my helix done and Tae hates needles, he was a total baby when he got his first holes done."
Jungkook blinks a few times. "Yeah, I don't mind."
There's no room on the bus for them to put any space between each other. For a brief moment, Jungkook wonders if the passengers sitting across the aisle assume that they are soulmates, and he looks down at Taehyung's name on his wrist, feeling guilty.
Jungkook is all too aware that it's the first time they've ever really been alone together for more than a few minutes, but he knows they at least have two things in common, dance and Taehyung, so he starts with Taehyung.
"So, how long have you and Taehyung known each other?" Jungkook asks.
"Oh god," Jimin says, shaking his head. "You're going to make me feel old. It's been almost 12 years, I think? We were both new to Seoul and we both had funny accents, so we just kind of ended up sticking together. He was a total country boy, make him show you the pictures of him in his grandmother's strawberry fields sometime."
Jimin's face completely relaxes when he's talking about Taehyung, an unconscious smile tugging at his lips. Almost the same look Taehyung gets on his face when he tells him a story about Jimin from high school or gets a message from Jimin on his phone. Jungkook thinks maybe he should have asked about Jimin's dancing instead.
The shop is nice, all wood paneling and neatly arranged display cases, decorated with figurines and little odds and ends.
Jimin's piercer is a tall guy with one of those cool apathetic faces, with black and red tattoos spanning his arms and hands. Jimin shoots Jungkook a nervous look as the piercer turns around to prepare the needle.
"You already have your lobes done, why are you scared now?"
"Because this guy looks like he could murder me," Jimin whispers, but not quiet enough because the piercer laughs quietly from the counter.
"Do you want me to hold your hand?" Jungkook teases.
Jimin glares up at Jungkook. "Why are you such a brat?"
Except when the piercer steps forward, lining up the needle and cartridge with Jimin's cartilage, Jimin does end up reaching for Jungkook's hand, squeezing hard enough to hurt. Jimin hisses, a half-formed curse slipping through his lips, and then the piercer steps back.
"All done. Looks good."
Jungkook's hand is still throbbing even after they leave the store, each armed with a shopping bag and a bunch of pamphlets about properly caring for a piercing. "Your grip is really strong," Jungkook complains, shaking out his hand.
"Well, I don't have a soulmate, so," Jimin says.
Jungkook pauses in his tracks as the implication catches up with him and then he lets out a surprised gasp of laughter. "Hyung, I can't believe you just said that."
"Don't laugh at my genuine pain, you dick," Jimin says, laughing a little now too. "Self-deprecation is all I have."
It's a little easier to talk to Jimin on the way home. Jungkook decides to wait around for Taehyung to return, anything to get out of the dance studio for as long as possible. He's even considering showing Jimin the last good run-through he filmed on his phone when he hears the familiar beeping of the door lock.
"Park Jimin," Taehyung hollers from the doorway, dragging the last syllable up an octave. "What's for dinner?"
He stops when he sees Jungkook, squinting at him briefly like he's looking at one of those what's wrong with this picture? things. What's different about this living room? After a moment, his confusion gives way to an easy smile and he throws himself down on the couch between the two of them, his right thigh ending up half on top of Jungkook and his arms around both of their necks. "You didn't tell me you were coming over," he says, tilting his head to kiss the underside of Jungkook's jaw.
"I was already here," Jungkook says. "Jimin and I went to the jewelry store."
"I got my helix done," Jimin says, leaning over to show his ear off.
Taehyung looks between the two of them, grinning. "My best friend and my boyfriend hanging out," Taehyung says, tugging them in closer. Close enough for Jungkook to feel Jimin's shaky exhale against his cheek. "This is awesome."
Jungkook receives his university acceptance letter, in a stunning coincidence, on Taehyung's birthday.
"You always have to upstage me, huh?" Taehyung whines. "First you wouldn't let me be better looking, then you wouldn't let me be taller, and now it's like 'Oh is it the day of your birth? Well I just got accepted into my dream school, suck on that.' You punk." He nuzzles his face into Jungkook's neck. "We have to celebrate."
"Hyung, no," Jungkook says. "We're going out this weekend for your birthday anyway."
Taehyung has already fired off three messages in their group chat before Jungkook is even finished protesting. "Too late, Seokjin already said he'll treat us."
And really, who is Jungkook to turn down Seokjin's kindness?
It's a good night. Seokjin has eaten his way around most of Seoul over the years and he knows exactly the place to go when Jungkook suggests eel for dinner. Jungkook and Jimin both know nothing is as good as the seafood in Busan, but it's pretty damn good. Jungkook is just buzzed enough off the shots Namjoon slid him across the table when the restaurant ahjumma turned her back to feel pleasant and a little loose-limbed.
Taehyung leans over, pressing his lips against Jungkook's ear. "Come to the bathroom with me," he whispers.
It's apparently not the invitation Jungkook thinks it is, even though Taehyung does let him push him up against the wall and kiss him a few minutes until Jungkook has to reemerge for air, panting. Maybe he's also buzzed enough not to care how dirty this bathroom probably is. "Not that I don't like making out with you," Taehyung says, "because I really do, but I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
"Were you planning on staying at home with your parents during school?" Taehyung asks.
Jungkook shrugs. "I hadn't really thought about it. Probably. It's not that bad of a commute, it's like the same as coming to see you."
"But you know, I was thinking. Jeongneung is a lot closer than Ilsan."
There is a small delay as Jungkook's brain catches up to Taehyung's words. "Oh," he says.
"I mean, I have to ask Jimin first, but I think it would be good for us," Taehyung says, and he's looking at Jungkook all hopeful with his eyes wide and his bottom lip between his teeth.
Jungkook kisses him again just because he can.
The day Jungkook moves in is deceptively warm, one of those winter days that tricks everyone into putting away their coats only to deal with snow a week later. Jungkook doesn't move with a lot-just his clothes, a few trinkets from his bedroom, the old coffee table from his family's living room to replace the crates Taehyung and Jimin have been using as a table for the last year-but they borrow his hyungs car anyway, driving back on the expressway with the windows down and Dynamic Duo on the radio.
It shouldn't feel weird, Jungkook thinks. He's already spent enough time in their apartment over the last six months to know all of their annoying habits (Jimin leaves half-finished cups of water scattered everywhere, Taehyung sheds like a cat) and their schedule (laundry on Tuesdays when it's less busy, trading off weeknights for cooking unless one of them gets lazy and then they order out), but being a regular visitor and a permanent resident are two different things. It's strange as hell the first time Jungkook bumps shoulders with Jimin in the bathroom as he brushes his teeth.
The leftovers Jungkook brought back from New Year give them a few days break from cooking, but it's Jimin's turn tonight and Jungkook is hungry. Theoretically he's watching a movie with Taehyung. Mostly he's trying to crane his neck over the back of the couch to see how Jimin is progressing.
"Jungkook, do you need help with something?" Taehyung asks, looking amused.
"I'm hungry," Jungkook says sullenly.
"Then why don't you just go ask him when it'll be ready?"
Jungkook pulls a face and Taehyung laughs, not at all sympathetic to his plight. "He's your roommate now, don't be shy." When Jungkook doesn't budge from the couch, Taehyung sighs. "Fine, I'll go ask him."
Five minutes pass, and then ten and then Jungkook's stomach lets out a low rumble to remind him that it's been forever since Taehyung went into the kitchen to check on the food.
Jungkook throws the remote down. Fuck waiting.
"Hey, what-"
He doesn't finish his sentence. His mouth snaps shut. It's one thing to know that Jimin and Taehyung are close, but it's another to see it-Taehyung's body curving into Jimin's, his hand resting on Jimin's lower back. Taehyung says something, too low for Jungkook to hear, leaning in so close that his lips must be brushing against the shell of Jimin's ear. Jimin smiles up at him, nothing short of adoring.
They don't notice Jungkook at all, too wrapped up in each other, and he can't watch this any longer. He stumbles back to the couch, feeling very much like someone just punched him in the throat.
Of course that's why Jimin is jealous. Not because Taehyung has a soulmate and he doesn't, but because Taehyung has a soulmate and it isn't Jimin.
"Jungkookie," Taehyung sing-songs from the kitchen. "Dinner is ready."
His hunger has been replaced with a heavy sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. He feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.
"Hey, you coming?" This time it's Jimin who pokes his head through the doorway.
He swallows down that sick feeling. "Yeah, on my way."
Jungkook wakes up to Taehyung shaking his shoulders. "Jungkook, wake up. Jimin's not here."
"What do you mean he's not here?" Jungkook asks groggily, blinking the room into focus. Outside their window, the sun is just starting to rise, so it must still be early. He leans over the side of the bed, rooting around for his shirt, because this is not a situation he wants to deal with in just his boxers.
Taehyung is pacing the length of their room, chewing on his thumbnail. "I went to go take a piss and I don't know, I got the feeling I should check on him so I did and he wasn't there and his clothes are gone and his suitcase and I-"
"Hyung, slow down," Jungkook says. His phone, when he finds it, reads 6:27. "Did you call him?"
"Of course I called him," Taehyung snaps. "He didn't pick up and he hasn't even looked at my texts."
"Okay, well he's probably just-" and then Jungkook stops, because it's not like Jimin has a family he can go to and he has no idea where else anyone would go at 6:30 in the morning with their suitcase.
"He would've told me if he was going anywhere," Taehyung says, a frantic edge to his voice. "I don't know what to do."
"We should call the hyungs. Look, I'll call Hoseok."
Taehyung nods weakly, and Jungkook rubs a hand over his his shoulder. "Everything will be okay," he tells Taehyung as he dials Hoseok's number.
Hoseok answers on the last ring, grumbling out a muffled greeting.
"Hyung, have you heard from Jimin? We can't find him and Taehyung is freaking out," Jungkook tells him.
In the background, Jungkook can make out Namjoon and Yoongi's voices. Hoseok sighs. "I told him to talk to Taehyung first. I'm not surprised he didn't."
"So you've heard-"
Taehyung grabs the phone from Jungkook's hand. "Hyung, you know where he is?"
Jungkook is close enough to hear the hesitation before Hoseok speaks. "Look, Tae, come over. We shouldn't do this on the phone."
"Do what?" Taehyung demands.
"Just come here," Hoseok says. "Text me when you're close. I'll send Yoongi down to let you in."
It's got to be the weirdest group meeting (intervention? Jungkook still isn't sure) that Jungkook's ever seen. Namjoon is still possibly asleep, slumped over the arm of their couch, and Yoongi is wearing a Kumamon robe, complete with ears on the hood. Hoseok is the only one among them that looks awake.
"So do you know where he is or not?" Taehyung asks before Hoseok even explain anything. He's shaking with nervous energy, and Jungkook has to yank his arm to get him to sit down on the couch.
"Well, he's probably still on the plane," Hoseok says bluntly.
Taehyung's arm jerks out of Jungkook's grasp. There's a look on his face, a dawning recognition. Jungkook has no idea what it means. "I can't fucking believe you would do this."
"I'm the one who told him about it, okay, but he's the one who decided he wanted to go."
"That doesn't make any sense," Taehyung says. "He would've told me if he was going anywhere. He tells me everything."
Jungkook looks between Yoongi and Namjoon, but neither of them will meet his eye.
"It's three months, he'll be back. It's good for him. It's a good career opportunity."
Taehyung shakes his head. "He told me he wouldn't leave me."
At this, Hoseok just laughs. A small, bitter laugh that's unexpectedly cruel for someone as kind as Hoseok. "He left because of you, Tae."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Taehyung says in a quiet voice.
"You were hurting him," Hoseok says. "How long did you think he would wait around for you?"
"That's not-"
"How long did you think you could keep acting like you're in love with him? Jimin's not your soulmate. Jungkook is."
And this is what Jungkook should have known all along, what he has known somewhere deep down in his gut. This is the taste of bile in his throat when he saw them together in the kitchen.
Jungkook feels like he's being choked.
"I know you want to," Hoseok says, lowering his voice now, "but you can't have it both ways."
"Fuck you," Taehyung says, and then he's leaving, not even bothering to grab his shoes from the entryway before he slams the door behind him, the frames on the wall rattling with the force.
Someone touches Jungkook's knee.
"You okay?" It's Yoongi. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."
"I don't have a key to the apartment," he says. The words scrape along his throat. "We kept forgetting."
"Do you want to stay here for a while?" Hoseok asks.
Jungkook nods. He can feel a lump forming when he swallows, the stinging of tears behind his eyelids. He hasn't cried in years.
He lets himself be folded into Hoseok's lap. Yoongi rubs his shoulders as Jungkook presses his face into Hoseok's thigh, his tears dampening the thin fabric of his pajama pants.
"Hey," Hoseok says, soothing him. "Things are going to be okay."
A week passes, then two, and Jimin is still gone and things are not really okay.
"We broke up," Jungkook says, standing in Seokjin's doorway. "I think. Can you break up with someone you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with?"
He's never been as close with Seokjin as Taehyung, what with their age difference and their completely incompatible interests, but, "It was either you or Namjoon and I didn't want to talk about how soulmates are tools of capitalist oppression or whatever," he tells Seokjin.
"And I have baked goods," Seokjin says, gathering Jungkook into his arms. He smells like honey, like the hotteok Jungkook's mother used to make. "Therefore I am automatically your greatest hyung."
He sits on the couch while Seokjin makes him tea, looking around at the happy pictures of Hyosang and Seokjin displayed proudly on the walls. He wondered if they ever had rough patches like this.
"Are you going to move out?" Seokjin asks, passing Jungkook a mug.
Jungkook shugs. "The semester just started, everyone already has a roommate. I think Taehyung would kill me if I tried to move into Jimin's room. It's like his creepy shrine."
"Well, he'll have to figure it out when Jimin comes back," Seokjin says. "If he comes back."
Jungkook leans his head back against the couch, gazing up at the ceiling. It's been a long two weeks. He's tired. "You know," he says, "I was never one of those kids that really wanted a soulmate? But then I got one, and I really-"
He sighs. "I really liked him. It doesn't seem fair."
"You're probably too young to realize that having someone's name on your wrist doesn't mean that everything from that point is going to work out."
"Then what's the point?" Jungkook says, throwing up his hand in frustration.
"Capitalist oppression?" Seokjin offers. Jungkook rolls his head over to glare at him. "Or maybe the point is that 99 times out of 100 it does work out."
"And so what? I'm just lucky enough to be the outlier?"
Seokjin sets down his mug, scooting in closer. "Look, Jungkook, you have three options. The first is that you and Taehyung might end up working out. Maybe this is just a bump in the road and you guys will end up happy together."
Jungkook feels a sting of guilt in his chest. "And what about Jimin?"
"Taehyung is your soulmate, not his," Seokjin says with an apologetic smile. "You're allowed to put yourself first. Or else you get option two, where you let them ride off in the sunset together and then…"
"And then what happens to me?"
"And then what happens to you?" Seokjin repeats.
"But what's option three?"
Seokjin squeezes his knee. "I think you know."
Jungkook has been splitting his time between Donghyuk's couch (though based on the looks Donghyuk's roommate keeps shooting him, Jungkook's starting to feel like he's worn out his welcome) and his older brother's spare bedroom. He doesn't want his parents to feel sorry for him, so he doesn't go home and he tells his mom when she calls that everything is fine. They're happy and they're doing well because that's how soulmates are supposed to work.
Most of his things are still at their apartment, so on his days with early classes sometimes Jungkook swings by to check on Taehyung.
It's mid-afternoon and Taehyung is curled up on the bed with the blinds closed. Jungkook steps around a congealed bowl of ramen, a dirty pair of sweatpants. Taehyung at his best is messy, right now his room looks like a warzone.
"Did you go to class today?" Jungkook asks, digging a few pairs of socks out of their shared dresser. They're both running out. Maybe Hoseok will come do Taehyung's laundry again, even though Seokjin keeps telling them not to enable him.
"Yes," Taehyung says, rolling onto his back to watch Jungkook.
Jungkook shoots him a suspicious look over his shoulder.
"I did," Taehyung insists. "It was an early lecture."
Taehyung catches Jungkook's wrist in his hand, fingers pressing into the spot where his name is inked into his skin. "Come lie down with me," he says.
Jungkook does, because he hasn't yet figured out how to turn off that part of him that wants to indulge Taehyung. It's practically muscle memory. Their knees slot together and Jungkook's fingers finds their place on the soft spot above Taehyung's hipbone. Taehyung leans in until their foreheads are touching, his hands coming up to cup the back of Jungkook's head.
"I love you," Taehyung whispers, breath hot against Jungkook's cheek.
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut. "Don't," he says.
"It's true," Taehyung tells him.
"I don't care," Jungkook says. He does care. He cares so much and his heart is beating so heavy and fast that he's sure Taehyung must be able to feel it. "Don't make it harder than it is."
Taehyung only pushes in harder, bone against bone. "I love you, Jeon Jungkook," he says. "I'm sorry."
Jungkook's eyes are still closed when Taehyung kisses him. It feels like pressing down a bruise, a sharp ache, but Jungkook kisses back anyway. He's nineteen years old and it's been almost a month since the last time Taehyung kissed him and he's weak.
This is nothing like any kissing Jungkook has taken part in before. It's searing, Taehyung's fingers pulling on Jungkook's hair, Jungkook's teeth scraping along Taehyung's bottom lip. Open mouthed, a little painful, almost suffocating.
Taehyung makes a gasping noise in the back of his throat and his body presses against Jungkook's. He's hard. Jungkook can feel the weight of Taehyung's cock through his thin basketball shorts and everything becomes too real all too quick.
Jungkook jerks back to the edge of the bed. Taehyung's lips are swollen already, mouth glossy with spit, and Jungkook wants to touch him so fucking bad but he can't do this.
"This is wrong," he says without looking back at Taehyung, grabbing his backpack from the floor. A few pairs of socks spill out, rolling under Taehyung's bed but he leaves them. He needs to get out of this stuffy bedroom before he does something he'll regret. "I'll check on you this weekend."
Taehyung doesn't try to stop him.
Jungkook gets as far as the elevator before the strangling in his chest is too much and he doubles over to catch his breath. Everything is fucked up. He never asked to be an outlier, never asked to be in love with a boy who's in love with someone else.
His hands shake when he reaches for his phone.
The day after Jungkook calls Jimin, he switches his watch over to his left wrist again.
He'd kind of expected Jimin to put up a fight, because Lord knows Jungkook is probably the last person in the world he wants to speak to, but Jungkook only has to say, "He's not really eating or going out, he's not doing okay" before Jimin says, "I'll get the next plane home."
The next night Seokjin texts him, jimin came home, he's at my place and Jungkook almost wishes he had somewhere to run away to as well. But he's got classes and family and a stupid fucking name stamped on his wrist for all of eternity, so he just turns off his phone and cries in his brother's guest bedroom until he falls asleep instead.
He gives them a few days, resolutely not thinking about what they must be up to (Taehyung's hands on Jimin, his mouth) before he sneaks over to the apartment during a time when neither of them should be there.
It's cowardly, Jungkook knows, but he can't look at either of them yet.
The apartment is, thankfully, empty. There's a glass of water resting on the top shelf of the shoe cupboard, of all places, a clear sign of Jimin's return. Jungkook very seriously contemplates throwing in on the floor.
In the bedroom, his clothes haven't been touched. He throws his socks and underwear into his duffle first before moving onto the wardrobe.
"I was worried about you."
Jungkook's heart skips a beat.
"You're packing," Taehyung says from the doorway, accusatory.
"Of course I'm packing," Jungkook says. He has to rest his head against the wardrobe until he's sure he can speak without his voice shaking. "What do you want?"
He can hear Taehyung's footsteps approaching, but he flinches when Taehyung touches him, arms squeezing around his middle and face pressed into Jungkook's back. "I want you to not go," Taehyung says.
"You're hurting me," Jungkook says, and even he's not sure what kind of hurt he means.
"Please don't go."
Jungkook turns around, fast enough to break Taehyung's grip. He's prepared to shout, the words on the tip of his tongue, but he catches sight of Taehyung's red-rimmed eyes and his throat dries up. "You have Jimin now," he whispers. "I can't be your second choice."
"What if it doesn't have to be a choice?" Taehyung touches him again, this time trembling fingers pressed against his wrist. A familiar touch. Jungkook can't look at him, but he can't look away. "I don't care about being selfish," Taehyung presses on. "You're my soulmate. I love you."
Jungkook shakes his head. "Because I'm your soulmate."
"Because you're you. I can't help it."
"Tae-"
"Please, don't go," Taehyung says, desperate and a little optimistic. "Stay with me."
He hears Seokjin in his mind. You have three options.
"And what would it be like if I stayed?" Jungkook asks.
"I don't know." Taehyung looks down at his feet. "But I want to figure it out, because I don't want to go back to not having you in my life. Don't leave me."
Jungkook's breath catches in his throat. "A trial run," he says. Taehyung snaps back up to attention, and Jungkook never did learn how to say no to him. "I'm. I'm not making any promises."
There's a vise around Jungkook's heart that's shaped like Taehyung's fist.
---
[notes]1. ages: all ages in this fic correspond to the korean age system (so +1/2 years) and i know that donghyuk is an early 97 liner, but he calls hanbin hyung so i went by the assumption that he went to school with other 97 liners instead of 96.
2. the piercer is kim sunghyun, who is a creative director @ bighit, i have to assume jungkook would like his tattoos.
3. title is from broods's "evergreen" (the original title was want, and then a pause from this poem but i thought it more fitting to get into the spirit of the challenge with the remixed title)
gosh this is officially the longest thing i have ever written (my hats off to anyone who isn't me and can write more than 5k per fic on a regular basis) and a pretty stressful one at that. angst is not my typical genre and REMIXING IS HARD, but at the same time i am glad i got to try my hands at working within predefined parameters. i tried my best to stick to the source fic- the timeline has been altered slightly but i felt like it was more important to retain the length of the timeline than the exact dates.
the ending can be interpreted how you like...i will state that the rules of ficmix don't officially allow for a change of pairing but
INTERPRET IT HOW YOU WANT IS ALL I AM SAYING....
thanks to: k, r, a, and n for their feedback and advice, thanks to everyone who favorited my word count update tweets, thanks to the original fic author for lending me their words and to the ficmix mod(s) for their patience. i will probably always be the Worst exchange participant /o\ thanks for reading ♥
BTS, V/Jungkook & V/Jimin, PG-13, ~9.2k
Jeon Jungkook is eighteen years, two hundred and one days, eighteen hours, thirty two minutes, and fifty five seconds old when he meets his soulmate.
This is a remix of tonight, we'll defy the stars (hello my old heart) by idyleski for kpop_ficmix. Notes are at the end!
When Jungkook emerges from the food line and spots Junhoe and Donghyuk occupying their usual table, he has half a mind to turn around in the other direction and join the table of overachievers with matching bowl cuts for lunch.
He doesn't, though, because Donghyuk would probably get up and follow him anyway and then Junhoe, not wanting to be left alone, would be right behind him. Resistance is futile.
"Can we please," Jungkook says, setting his tray down on the table before either of them can get a word out, "not do the whole soulmate thing right now? Please?"
Donghyuk purses his lips together in a thoughtful expression, pondering this request for all of five seconds before he asks, cheerfully, "So, how are you feeling?"
"Like I just bombed that English test," Jungkook says, shrugging.
Donghyuk scowls at him, flicking a stray grain of rice across the table. "You're so unromantic. I can't believe today is the day you meet your soulmate and you're so calm. Junhoe, how did you feel when you met yours?"
"I was twelve," Junhoe points out, "I probably wanted to shit my pants."
"Would it be more exciting for you if I wanted to shit my pants?" Jungkook asks Donghyuk.
"Yes," Donghyuk says with a heavily exaggerated sigh. "Some people have to wait until they are thirty to meet their soulmates and thus must live vicariously through you lucky bastards."
"Can we change the subject?" Jungkook asks, partially for his own benefit and partially because Donghyuk always gets a little bummed when he's reminded of his timer. He likes Donghyuk, but not emo Donghyuk. "Are you guys still going to sign up for dance lessons before cram school tonight?"
"Of course. But we have to get there early." Donghyuk shoots a pointed look in Junhoe's direction. "You know how quickly the spaces for Hoseok ssaem's class fill up."
"What does that mean?" Junhoe asks, offended.
"It means you can't spend thirty minutes after school macking on your boyfriend."
"Donghyuk, Jinhwan hyung and I do not mack on each other. You're so-"
This is the point where Jungkook usually tunes them out. Their bickering is so frequent that if Jungkook didn't know any better, he might think they were soulmates themselves. He pushes some soybean soup around on his tray with his spoon, but he can't bring himself to eat.
The truth is Jungkook kind of does feel like shitting his pants. He knows even without looking at his wrist that he has about six hours left until he meets his soulmate. He's always thought himself above all the soulmate hype, not one for comparing timers with his classmates or planning his whole future around a stranger he hasn't even met yet. But now that he's spent the last month watching the numbers get smaller and smaller, trying not to look at his wrist now is like trying to ignore a blinking neon sign right in front of his face. It's been both the longest and shortest 24 hours of his life.
His parents had both stayed home from work that morning to see him off. "I hope she comes from a good family," his father had said, smiling proudly at Jungkook. His older brother's soulmate had come from three generations of doctors.
"Let's just hope Jungkookie likes her," she said as she smoothed down Jungkook's collar. "Be polite. Don't scare her away. I know how you get."
He hadn't even been worried about his shyness until his mother said that and now he has to add making sure he can spit out a full sentence in front of his soulmate to add to his worries.
"Jungkook?" Donghyuk's voice brings him back to reality. "You okay?"
"What if it's a really old guy?" Jungkook says, suddenly stricken. "Or I don't know, a baby. What if my soulmate is a baby?"
Junhoe laughs at him. "Or she might have two heads, you never know."
Jungkook lets his head drop down. "Can I call out sick from my destiny?" he asks the table.
"My grandmother always told me that if you try to intervene at all, if you, like, change your plans or something, that fate will skip over you and you'll never meet your soulmate," Donghyuk says, reaching over to pat Jungkook's elbow.
"Is that supposed to be reassuring?"
"Just think," Junhoe says, "if your soulmate is a baby, you'll be as old as Donghyuk before you ever get laid."
By the time they escape from self-study, Jungkook has less than an hour left. He'd switched his watch over to his left wrist sometime during math, the constantly decreasing timer catching his eye every time he looked at his paper to scribble down a problem. He has more important things to worry about than some stupid person he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with, like making sure he secures a spot in Jung Hoseok's dance class.
On the subway, they gather around Junhoe's phone to watch videos of Hoseok performing with the rest of his crew. Even with the crappy lighting and the heavy bass overpowering the rest of the audio, Hoseok is still as captivating a dancer as he was when Jungkook first saw him perform at an underground showcase last year. Almost enough to distract Jungkook from the butterflies in his stomach.
When it does happen, it's almost anti-climactic.
There's already a crowd of teen boys in various school uniforms loitering around the dance studio entrance when the three of them arrive, though they're able to get a place not too far back in line. After a few minutes, the door opens and the crowd surges forward, but the it's only a guy with a shock of orange hair trying to exit the studio.
"No sign up, sorry, I'm just trying to get to my biology class," he says over a few disappointed grumbles, holding his arms up in surrender.
Years later, Jungkook will not remember what he was planning on telling Donghyuk. He steps back to tell him something just as the guy with orange hair collides into his elbow.
Jungkook gasps, first in surprise and then because he feels it. A warmth on his wrist, just for an instant, like passing his hand through a flame.
"Jeon Jungkook?" the stranger asks, looking down at his own wrist and then back up to Jungkook.. "Is that your name?"
Jungkook fumbles with the strap of his watch, his fingers shaking. He has a feeling he knows what he will find, but he almost drops it on the ground when he sees it, the stopped zeroes and a name scrawled messily underneath it. "Kim Taehyung?"
It sounds familiar against his lips, something like deja vu. This is his soulmate.
"Well damn," Jungkook thinks he hears Donghyuk say.
There is a moment of silence, the both of them staring at each other with stunned faces. And then Kim Taehyung laughs, lips stretching to reveal a smile so wide it's almost rectangular. Jungkook ekes out a nervous chuckle in turn.
"You're really cute," Taehyung says.
"I was afraid you might be an old guy," Jungkook admits, cheeks flushing. Behind him, Junhoe wheezes.
"Only on the weekends," Taehyung says. The line starts to move again and Jungkook is pushed toward the door along with the crowd. Taehyung quickly reaches for his hand, holding him in place. "Listen, I have class in like ten minutes so I can't stick around, but give me your number, okay? Let's meet up tomorrow."
Jungkook is able to stall the other impatient high schoolers long enough to exchange numbers, and then Taehyung is waving at him over his shoulder, calling out, "It was nice to meet you!"
As soon as Taehyung rounds the corner away from them, Jungkook sags back against the studio window, catching his breath. "Holy shit," he says. "Holy shit."
He's eighteen years old and he's just met his soulmate.
Somehow, the next day manages to be even more nerve-wracking. Jungkook is early to their meet-up and though he barely tolerates the taste of coffee, he orders a large drink and downs half of it before six even rolls around. Even without the caffeine, Jungkook is jittery enough. His fingers drum against the tabletop as he waits, trying to look like he's not staring at the door.
It'd almost felt like a dream when Jungkook woke up that morning, but looking down at his timer, it still read 00:00:00:00, with a messy 김태형 underneath.
Kim Taehyung. Jungkook's soulmate.
Jungkook's soulmate, Kim Taehyung, who finally arrives to the coffee shop in a flurry of energy, wind gusting behind him as he hurries through the door. He waves enthusiastically, as though Jungkook could possibly miss him in the crowd.
"I'm sorry I'm late," Taehyung says as he collapses down in the seat across from Jungkook. He's panting. "My class got out late and I tried to run here but I'm not that fast these days, I'm getting old."
"I thought that was only on the weekends," Jungkook says.
"Attention to detail," Taehyung says with a firm nod, "a good trait in a partner. So, tell me, are you a dog person or a cat person? Stomach sleeper? Back sleeper? Side? Wait, I haven't even asked how old you are. You're not a first year are you? That might be a little weird."
Taehyung is looking at him expectantly, leaning in so close that he must be able to feel Jungkook's legs jittering. Jungkook's eyes go wide. "I- what?"
"Am I freaking you out?" Taehyung asks, looking a bit distressed. "Jimin told me not to be too weird. I'm just excited."
"No," Jungkook says, which really means yes. "It's just a lot to take in. All of this. I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about any of it."
"Hey," Taehyung says. He touches Jungkook's knee under the table, and Jungkook doesn't know if this is part of the whole soulmate deal but he swears he can feel the warmth from Taehyung's hand even through his uniform khakis. "We don't have to like- I want us to get to know each other first. As friends. There's no time frame." Taehyung grins a little. "There's really no rush, I hear we have, like, the rest of our lives or something."
At this, Jungkook laughs. Taehyung is still touching him, fingers spread out over his thigh, and it's nice. Comforting, even. A reminder that Jungkook isn't the only one on a blind date with destiny.
"I'm eighteen," Jungkook says. "I'll be nineteen in September. What were the other questions again?"
Jungkook has always been shy. He was that kid in preschool whose mom had to practically force to play with the other kids. The only reason he's been able to hang onto Junhoe and Donghyuk as long as he has is because Donghyuk is some kind of human parasite, although a very kind one, who attached himself to Jungkook on his first day at his new school.
His elementary teachers called him slow to warm up. Taehyung, on the other hand, is 0 to 100 in two seconds flat.
Taehyung is loud, and touchy, and he doesn't know the meaning of the word stranger. He likes playing with kids in the park, greets every dog he sees on the street, and when he asks the cashier at GS25 how she's doing, he really does want to know.
The only strange thing about it is how quickly Jungkook finds himself not minding any of that.
They've been on a few dates. Well-it's not dating, exactly. It's "getting to know each other." It's Jungkook kicking Taehyung's ass at the PC bang, it's Taehyung waiting around for Jungkook after school just to walk him to cram school (and sometimes buying him bindaetteok along the way), it's walking along the Han River and the back of Jungkook's hand brushing against Taehyung's until Taehyung finally takes it, asking, "Is this okay?"
Jungkook likes Taehyung. He's supposed to, it's in the design plans of the universe after all, but that doesn't mean he's excluded from the butterflies in the stomach, weak in the knees stage. That would be too gracious.
"Getting to know each other" might not be dating, but tonight feels like a real date. It's a weekend and there are no class schedules to work around.
Even in the crowd, Jungkook immediately spots Taehyung, leaning against a lamp post and scrolling through his phone. If his outfit is anything to go by, he must think it's a date too. His hair is pushed back off his forehead and for once is he's wearing both closed toe shoes and pants that fit.
He's completely immersed in his phone when Jungkook sneaks up on him, leaning right into his personal space to whisper, "You have nice eyebrows."
Taehyung practically jumps, his shoulder jerking up into Jungkook's chin (ouch) but he beams when he sees who it is.
"You have nice everything," Taehyung says, reaching down to hold Jungkook's hand. "I like your bunny teeth."
Hongdae is cool enough during the daytime, but at night it thrives. It's not even that late but the streets are all full of other couples, girls dressed up to go clubbing, guys who are already falling over themselves drunk. The air is thick with cigarette smoke and the smell of street food. Music permeates the streets.
Taehyung drags him over to a few of the shops. His style is eclectic, a strange mix of sportswear and things that Jungkook thinks Seo Taiji would have worn in the 90s before either of them had been born. Jungkook is comparatively simple-t-shirts, beanies, Timberlands-but he plays along with Taehyung, letting him hold up shirts and jewelry he thinks Jungkook would look good in.
"You've been to Hongdae, right?" Taehyung asks him, now swinging a shopping bag in his free hand. Another pair of big pants and a choker that complimented the long line of his neck.
"I've lived outside of Seoul for three years now," Jungkook says, like duh. "Just not at night. I have a curfew."
"What about tonight?"
Jungkook squeezes Taehyung's hand. "You're my soulmate, now my parents don't care."
"Well, you'll have to come back when Namjoon and Yoongi are performing, they're fucking amazing," Taehyung tells him. "Sometimes Hoseok performs too, he's an amazing dancer, yeah, but he's a way better rapper than people expect."
"Cool, yeah. Let's do it sometime," Jungkook says.
"I can't come, they banned me for being too enthusiastic," Taehyung says with a pout. "Apparently I embarrass them."
Jungkook can't help but laugh. "That is just about the least shocking thing I've ever heard."
"Wow, some kind of supportive boyfriend you are." Taehyung looks over at Jungkook and it's hard to tell under the glow of neon signs, but he might be blushing. "That's okay, right?"
"It's okay," Jungkook says, immediately. He's blushing now too. "It's definitely okay."
Around one corner, they end up watching a guy play acoustic versions of pop songs for a while. He's got a nice voice and Jungkook would be content to watch him finish his set, but Taehyung nudges him in the opposite direction. "I have something I want to show you."
He leads Jungkook to the children's park, where the square is now lit up with spotlights and full of people dancing with balloons waving around in the air. The weird thing is that aside from a few girls screaming and the noise coming from the surrounding shops, there's no music. Instead, they're all wearing headphones.
"It's called silent disco," Taehyung says, slapping a few bills down on the sign-up table before Jungkook can even locate his wallet. "It looks kind of lame but it's fun, I swear!"
Taehyung helps Jungkook slide the bulky headphones over his ears and then the DJ's music fills his ears.
They blend easily into the crowd. It's a mix of people, some older adults and then some teens like Jungkook. Some people hardly do more than shuffle their feet while others are jumping up and down to the beat. Jungkook isn't at all surprised to find that Taehyung is more the wild type.
Jungkook doesn't love crowds of people, but it's not hard to forget the other people, to focus just on Taehyung's hands in his, their bodies pressing together as they dance. Taehyung is grinning, wide and carefree, and it's not the first time Jungkook has noticed that he is kind of ridiculously beautiful, but it's the first time Jungkook's ever been left breathless by it.
The music swells, climactic, and he pulls Taehyung in even closer, hands riding low on his hips, until there's no space left between the two of them. Jungkook doesn't remember tilting his head down. He blinks and then Taehyung is kissing him.
It's his first kiss, he has no idea what he's doing but he can tell Taehyung has had some practice with the way he guides Jungkook's head, coaxing his mouth open with his tongue.
Jungkook feels it all the way down to his toes.
"You know," Jungkook says as he watches Taehyung splash his way back up to the sidewalk, sandals squelching loudly, "if you weren't good looking, you would just be that weird guy talking to other people's children."
"But I am good looking," Taehyung says, flicking his wet hair at Jungkook.
"Eh, you're okay."
Taehyung mock gasps, holding his hand to his chest. "Jungkookie, you wound me."
It's hot as fuck and Jungkook's teachers have been throwing assignments at them right and left as summer break approaches, but Taehyung had called him, whining about how Jimin had dance classes to teach that day and how he wanted to eat bingsu and go to Cheonggyecheon. Of course, it wouldn't be Taehyung if their afternoon didn't include joining in on a water balloon fight with some primary school kids while Jungkook watched from the steps, cheering for anyone who landed a hit on Taehyung.
"So, I was thinking," Taehyung says.
"Thinking what?"
"When your break starts, do you maybe want to meet Jimin?"
Jungkook tilts his head up to look at Taehyung. He's been going through this phase where he's been cutting holes into everything he owns, and while Jungkook doesn't mind the glimpses of bare skin, he kind of hopes Taehyung ends up with stupid tanlines just to spite him. "Really?"
"I mean, it's time, don't you think? You're both," Taehyung pauses, his mouth curving into a smile as he searches for the words. "You're both important to me. You should meet. I think you guys would get along."
Of course he would never say this to Taehyung, but Jungkook isn't actually sure that's true. He already feels like he's competing with Jimin for Taehyung's time, but he doesn't want to that guy, the one who gets jealous over best friends. "Well he likes dance," Jungkook says, "and you. So he must have good taste."
Taehyung leans in, pressing his lips to the apple of his cheek. The sun is warm. Jungkook's face is probably warmer. "Jeon Jungkook being sweet, who knew you had it in you?"
Jungkook tilts his head to the sky and he thinks, for a moment, how nice it would be if things could be this easy forever.
Leave it to Taehyung to decide that the first weekend after summer break is a good time to go to the zoo. Seoul Grand Park is teeming with families and Jungkook sticks out like a sore thumb waiting around at the front entrance.
He hears Taehyung before he sees him, a group of tourists blocking Jungkook's view, but when as they disperse, Jungkook catches sight of Taehyung's hand grasping another boy's. Weird.
Jungkook doesn't get time to process this because as soon as Taehyung reaches him, he launches himself at Jungkook, arms wrapping around his neck. "Jungkookie!" Taehyung says into his neck. "This is the Jimin I was telling you about." He gestures so emphatically that Jimin has to grab his snapback to keep it from flying off. Jungkook can relate.
In some ways, Jungkook feels like he already knows Jimin, as much as Taehyung talks about him. They've been friends for years, they do everything together. The definition of codependency. He's seen pictures too, Taehyung's camera roll full of selcas of the two of them and a surprising number of photos taken while Jimin is asleep. Jimin is smaller in person, almost a full head shorter than Taehyung, and where Taehyung could be mistaken for a model, Jimin's round cheeks give him more of a boy-next-door charm.
They compliment each other well. Jungkook can't help the way he stares down at their hands, intertwined only just a moment ago. A streak of something bitter courses through his veins. It feels a lot like jealousy.
"He's shorter in real life," Jungkook says. "Do I actually need to call him hyung?"
It's immature, but Taehyung doesn't seem to notice the bite in Jungkook's voice. He laughs, and then Jimin laughs too, though it doesn't sound entirely convincing.
"Of course you do," Jimin says, leaning over Taehyung to ruffle Jungkook's hair.
"Let's go," Taehyung says, and this time he reaches for both of their hands, swinging their arms like a little kid. "I want to get a good spot for the lion feeding."
It's a little awkward at first. The get through the basic introductory questions-where are you from? Busan? Oh me too.-though Jimin remains tight-lipped when Jungkook asks him about school and Taehyung is quick to change the subject, drawing their attention to the elephant exhibit.
"He used to be obsessed with elephants," Jimin tells Jungkook as Taehyung leans all the way over the railing. He's setting a bad example for the kids around him. "Has he shown you his elephant moles?"
"Elephant moles?"
Without looking back, Taehyung extends his arm and Jimin catches it. "Elephant," he says, pinching a bit of skin on Taehyung's upper arm. "See?"
Jungkook grins. Only someone like Taehyung could come up with something like that. "I have one on my thigh," he says, and Taehyung grins back at him over his shoulder.
"See, Jungkook, this is why we're soulmates."
If Jungkook had noticed the look of hurt that flashed across Jimin's face then, it might have saved him from the months of slow realization that something was not right. Maybe then he could've prepared himself.
But Jungkook doesn't notice. He's too busy looking at Taehyung.
Toward the end of the afternoon, Taehyung makes a run for the bathroom, blaming the jjajangmyeon they'd eaten earlier and leaving Jimin and Jungkook to wait on the bench outside.
"So," Jungkook says after it becomes clear that Jimin isn't going to say anything. Jungkook isn't exactly known for his conversational skills, but he feels like he should at least try for Taehyung's sake. He wants them to get along so bad. "Hyung said you teach dance?"
"Just little kids right now. They're a lot of fun."
"Is that what you want to do?" Jungkook asks. "Like, you know, career wise?"
Jimin coughs, eyes flicking down to the ground for a moment. "I don't really have a lot of traditional options. I like dancing, I like teaching. What about you? Taehyung said you were taking lessons?"
"When classes start up again. I'm in Hoseok ssaem's hip hop class."
"You'll like him," Jimin says. "He's good. He works you hard but he's the best to learn from."
Jungkook leans back against the bench. His nose feels burnt. He should've listened to his mother's advice about sunscreen. "I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other."
"Seems like it," Jimin hums.
Summer break passes by in a blur. With the CSAT simulation approaching, Jungkook should be studying, like Donghyuk, who has three different private tutors and bags under his eyes that span halfway down his cheeks, but instead he spends most of it just fucking around.
Taehyung introduces him to the rest of his friends. Hoseok, who he can now call hyung instead of teacher, and his soulmates Yoongi and Namjoon. (It's rare, Jungkook knows. Even more rare than a same sex partner, but it's been known to happen.) His secret favorite hyung is Seokjin, who sneaks him treats from the bakery when they meet up. Sometimes Hyosang, Seokjin's soulmate, joins them, but he's always busy with his music producing.
And Jimin. Jungkook spends a lot of time with Jimin. Never one on one, not that he's trying to avoid it (Jimin might be) but there's always Taehyung to act as the buffer between the two of them.
If they get lucky, it's just the two of them.
jimin's teaching a late class tonight, want to come over? Taehyung had texted him earlier, and Jungkook had been at the door putting on his shoes in an instant. He's a teenager with a boyfriend he really, really likes kissing. What can he say?
It's after, when they're both sated and Taehyung has wrapped himself around Jungkook's body even though they're both sweaty and gross, that he says, "Hey, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Jungkook has Taehyung's fingers trapped in his grasp, a one-sided thumb war. He likes Taehyung's hands. "Go on."
"It's about Jimin," Taehyung says.
"Is he a secret agent?" Jungkook guesses. "Does he have two dicks?"
"Why are those your first two assumptions? But no, I'm serious."
Jungkook glances down at Taehyung. He's frowning. Jungkook releases his hand. "Does he not like me?" Jungkook asks, suddenly worried.
"No, no. He likes you," Taehyung says, punctuating it with a nuzzle against Jungkook's neck. "It's his soulmate."
It's not like Jungkook hasn't noticed that Jimin always wears a sweatband or a watch over his left wrist, but it's considered rude to ask, so he's never brought it up. "What about it?"
"He kind of. He doesn't have one."
Jungkook sucks in a breath. "Like, at all?" He didn't think it was possible. "They didn't die?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "His just stopped one day. No name."
"Fuck," Jungkook says.
"You can't tell anyone," Taehyung says, pressing himself up onto his elbows so he can look Jungkook in the eye. His tone is more serious than Jungkook has ever heard. "I'm telling you because I trust you, okay? You can't tell anyone."
"I wouldn't."
"And don't look at him like he's a freak. He doesn't want pity."
"I won't," Jungkook tells him, but it's easier said than done.
The next time the three of them are together, watching some Japanese animation that Taehyung picked out, Jungkook keeps catching himself looking at Jimin's wrist. Jimin's not oblivious, though, and when Taehyung leaves the room to take a phone call from his dad, he turns to Jungkook. "He told you, didn't you?"
Jungkook nods slowly. "Is that okay?"
"He asked me if he could," Jimin says, resigned. "It's okay if you want to look."
He extends his wrist, and Jungkook takes it in his hand as Jimin slides his sweatband off. Jungkook sees it, the stopped zeroes and the blank space on his skin where a tattooed name should be. Jungkook runs his thumb over Jimin's veins and it strikes him then that Jimin is exposing the most intimate part of himself to Jungkook, his deepest secret. It's a responsibility Jungkook isn't sure he wants.
"I've never met anyone who, you know-" Jungkook trails off.
"Well, now you have."
Jungkook releases Jimin's wrist, and Jimin pulls it back to his chest, guarding it with his right hand.
"And your parents?" Jungkook asks.
"They never reported it," Jimin says in a distant voice. "The last kind thing they ever did for me."
"I'm sorry," Jungkook says. He doesn't know what else he can say.
Taehyung returns then, taking in their serious faces with his eyes narrowed. "Why the long faces? Did something sad happen in the movie?"
Jungkook spends the rest of the movie holding his own wrist, his thumb tracing over the blocky lines of Taehyung's handwriting, reminding himself that it's not going anywhere.
Jungkook has been working on his audition piece for the better part of three months, but as the date looms closer, he's had to spend every waking minute in the studio to get ready. Hoseok's been helping him out and while his demeanor ordinarily suggests nothing short of sunshine and baby kittens, he's downright ruthless in his critique. Jungkook spends the first half of the day at the dance studio going over the same opening eight counts until he can't stand Chris Brown's voice, at which point he trudges his way over to Taehyung's.
It's Jimin who answers the door. "Taehyung isn't here," he says in lieu of a greeting, shuffling back to the couch. He's watching a drama, something with Song Jihyo that Jungkook doesn't recognize, and he's still wearing his pajama pants. Right, he wasn't at the studio. This must be Jimin's day off. "He's at school."
Jungkook had just assumed Taehyung would be here. For someone enrolled in a university, he doesn't seem to actually spend a lot of time there. "Where is he?"
"He's helping a classmate with some photography project," Jimin says, shrugging. "Something about a saxophone and a pair of women's heels?"
"What the fuck kind of project is that?"
"I didn't ask. I sort of figured it was probably better in my imagination than it could possibly be in real life." He flashes Jungkook a weak grin. "So, what's up with you?"
"Oh, nothing. I'm just so tired of working on my audition piece and I was going to see if hyung wanted to come with me to the jewelry store. I'm going to start stretching my ears," Jungkook tells him.
"Your teachers okay with that?" Jimin asks, raising an eyebrow.
"The first sizes are so small, no one will notice." Not that anyone would care, not with college entrance occupying everyone's mind. "But it's okay. I'll just go alone."
"I'll go with you," Jimin says. Jungkook must look as surprised as he feels, because Jimin adds, "I mean. If you don't mind the company. I wanted to get my helix done and Tae hates needles, he was a total baby when he got his first holes done."
Jungkook blinks a few times. "Yeah, I don't mind."
There's no room on the bus for them to put any space between each other. For a brief moment, Jungkook wonders if the passengers sitting across the aisle assume that they are soulmates, and he looks down at Taehyung's name on his wrist, feeling guilty.
Jungkook is all too aware that it's the first time they've ever really been alone together for more than a few minutes, but he knows they at least have two things in common, dance and Taehyung, so he starts with Taehyung.
"So, how long have you and Taehyung known each other?" Jungkook asks.
"Oh god," Jimin says, shaking his head. "You're going to make me feel old. It's been almost 12 years, I think? We were both new to Seoul and we both had funny accents, so we just kind of ended up sticking together. He was a total country boy, make him show you the pictures of him in his grandmother's strawberry fields sometime."
Jimin's face completely relaxes when he's talking about Taehyung, an unconscious smile tugging at his lips. Almost the same look Taehyung gets on his face when he tells him a story about Jimin from high school or gets a message from Jimin on his phone. Jungkook thinks maybe he should have asked about Jimin's dancing instead.
The shop is nice, all wood paneling and neatly arranged display cases, decorated with figurines and little odds and ends.
Jimin's piercer is a tall guy with one of those cool apathetic faces, with black and red tattoos spanning his arms and hands. Jimin shoots Jungkook a nervous look as the piercer turns around to prepare the needle.
"You already have your lobes done, why are you scared now?"
"Because this guy looks like he could murder me," Jimin whispers, but not quiet enough because the piercer laughs quietly from the counter.
"Do you want me to hold your hand?" Jungkook teases.
Jimin glares up at Jungkook. "Why are you such a brat?"
Except when the piercer steps forward, lining up the needle and cartridge with Jimin's cartilage, Jimin does end up reaching for Jungkook's hand, squeezing hard enough to hurt. Jimin hisses, a half-formed curse slipping through his lips, and then the piercer steps back.
"All done. Looks good."
Jungkook's hand is still throbbing even after they leave the store, each armed with a shopping bag and a bunch of pamphlets about properly caring for a piercing. "Your grip is really strong," Jungkook complains, shaking out his hand.
"Well, I don't have a soulmate, so," Jimin says.
Jungkook pauses in his tracks as the implication catches up with him and then he lets out a surprised gasp of laughter. "Hyung, I can't believe you just said that."
"Don't laugh at my genuine pain, you dick," Jimin says, laughing a little now too. "Self-deprecation is all I have."
It's a little easier to talk to Jimin on the way home. Jungkook decides to wait around for Taehyung to return, anything to get out of the dance studio for as long as possible. He's even considering showing Jimin the last good run-through he filmed on his phone when he hears the familiar beeping of the door lock.
"Park Jimin," Taehyung hollers from the doorway, dragging the last syllable up an octave. "What's for dinner?"
He stops when he sees Jungkook, squinting at him briefly like he's looking at one of those what's wrong with this picture? things. What's different about this living room? After a moment, his confusion gives way to an easy smile and he throws himself down on the couch between the two of them, his right thigh ending up half on top of Jungkook and his arms around both of their necks. "You didn't tell me you were coming over," he says, tilting his head to kiss the underside of Jungkook's jaw.
"I was already here," Jungkook says. "Jimin and I went to the jewelry store."
"I got my helix done," Jimin says, leaning over to show his ear off.
Taehyung looks between the two of them, grinning. "My best friend and my boyfriend hanging out," Taehyung says, tugging them in closer. Close enough for Jungkook to feel Jimin's shaky exhale against his cheek. "This is awesome."
Jungkook receives his university acceptance letter, in a stunning coincidence, on Taehyung's birthday.
"You always have to upstage me, huh?" Taehyung whines. "First you wouldn't let me be better looking, then you wouldn't let me be taller, and now it's like 'Oh is it the day of your birth? Well I just got accepted into my dream school, suck on that.' You punk." He nuzzles his face into Jungkook's neck. "We have to celebrate."
"Hyung, no," Jungkook says. "We're going out this weekend for your birthday anyway."
Taehyung has already fired off three messages in their group chat before Jungkook is even finished protesting. "Too late, Seokjin already said he'll treat us."
And really, who is Jungkook to turn down Seokjin's kindness?
It's a good night. Seokjin has eaten his way around most of Seoul over the years and he knows exactly the place to go when Jungkook suggests eel for dinner. Jungkook and Jimin both know nothing is as good as the seafood in Busan, but it's pretty damn good. Jungkook is just buzzed enough off the shots Namjoon slid him across the table when the restaurant ahjumma turned her back to feel pleasant and a little loose-limbed.
Taehyung leans over, pressing his lips against Jungkook's ear. "Come to the bathroom with me," he whispers.
It's apparently not the invitation Jungkook thinks it is, even though Taehyung does let him push him up against the wall and kiss him a few minutes until Jungkook has to reemerge for air, panting. Maybe he's also buzzed enough not to care how dirty this bathroom probably is. "Not that I don't like making out with you," Taehyung says, "because I really do, but I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
"Were you planning on staying at home with your parents during school?" Taehyung asks.
Jungkook shrugs. "I hadn't really thought about it. Probably. It's not that bad of a commute, it's like the same as coming to see you."
"But you know, I was thinking. Jeongneung is a lot closer than Ilsan."
There is a small delay as Jungkook's brain catches up to Taehyung's words. "Oh," he says.
"I mean, I have to ask Jimin first, but I think it would be good for us," Taehyung says, and he's looking at Jungkook all hopeful with his eyes wide and his bottom lip between his teeth.
Jungkook kisses him again just because he can.
The day Jungkook moves in is deceptively warm, one of those winter days that tricks everyone into putting away their coats only to deal with snow a week later. Jungkook doesn't move with a lot-just his clothes, a few trinkets from his bedroom, the old coffee table from his family's living room to replace the crates Taehyung and Jimin have been using as a table for the last year-but they borrow his hyungs car anyway, driving back on the expressway with the windows down and Dynamic Duo on the radio.
It shouldn't feel weird, Jungkook thinks. He's already spent enough time in their apartment over the last six months to know all of their annoying habits (Jimin leaves half-finished cups of water scattered everywhere, Taehyung sheds like a cat) and their schedule (laundry on Tuesdays when it's less busy, trading off weeknights for cooking unless one of them gets lazy and then they order out), but being a regular visitor and a permanent resident are two different things. It's strange as hell the first time Jungkook bumps shoulders with Jimin in the bathroom as he brushes his teeth.
The leftovers Jungkook brought back from New Year give them a few days break from cooking, but it's Jimin's turn tonight and Jungkook is hungry. Theoretically he's watching a movie with Taehyung. Mostly he's trying to crane his neck over the back of the couch to see how Jimin is progressing.
"Jungkook, do you need help with something?" Taehyung asks, looking amused.
"I'm hungry," Jungkook says sullenly.
"Then why don't you just go ask him when it'll be ready?"
Jungkook pulls a face and Taehyung laughs, not at all sympathetic to his plight. "He's your roommate now, don't be shy." When Jungkook doesn't budge from the couch, Taehyung sighs. "Fine, I'll go ask him."
Five minutes pass, and then ten and then Jungkook's stomach lets out a low rumble to remind him that it's been forever since Taehyung went into the kitchen to check on the food.
Jungkook throws the remote down. Fuck waiting.
"Hey, what-"
He doesn't finish his sentence. His mouth snaps shut. It's one thing to know that Jimin and Taehyung are close, but it's another to see it-Taehyung's body curving into Jimin's, his hand resting on Jimin's lower back. Taehyung says something, too low for Jungkook to hear, leaning in so close that his lips must be brushing against the shell of Jimin's ear. Jimin smiles up at him, nothing short of adoring.
They don't notice Jungkook at all, too wrapped up in each other, and he can't watch this any longer. He stumbles back to the couch, feeling very much like someone just punched him in the throat.
Of course that's why Jimin is jealous. Not because Taehyung has a soulmate and he doesn't, but because Taehyung has a soulmate and it isn't Jimin.
"Jungkookie," Taehyung sing-songs from the kitchen. "Dinner is ready."
His hunger has been replaced with a heavy sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. He feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.
"Hey, you coming?" This time it's Jimin who pokes his head through the doorway.
He swallows down that sick feeling. "Yeah, on my way."
Jungkook wakes up to Taehyung shaking his shoulders. "Jungkook, wake up. Jimin's not here."
"What do you mean he's not here?" Jungkook asks groggily, blinking the room into focus. Outside their window, the sun is just starting to rise, so it must still be early. He leans over the side of the bed, rooting around for his shirt, because this is not a situation he wants to deal with in just his boxers.
Taehyung is pacing the length of their room, chewing on his thumbnail. "I went to go take a piss and I don't know, I got the feeling I should check on him so I did and he wasn't there and his clothes are gone and his suitcase and I-"
"Hyung, slow down," Jungkook says. His phone, when he finds it, reads 6:27. "Did you call him?"
"Of course I called him," Taehyung snaps. "He didn't pick up and he hasn't even looked at my texts."
"Okay, well he's probably just-" and then Jungkook stops, because it's not like Jimin has a family he can go to and he has no idea where else anyone would go at 6:30 in the morning with their suitcase.
"He would've told me if he was going anywhere," Taehyung says, a frantic edge to his voice. "I don't know what to do."
"We should call the hyungs. Look, I'll call Hoseok."
Taehyung nods weakly, and Jungkook rubs a hand over his his shoulder. "Everything will be okay," he tells Taehyung as he dials Hoseok's number.
Hoseok answers on the last ring, grumbling out a muffled greeting.
"Hyung, have you heard from Jimin? We can't find him and Taehyung is freaking out," Jungkook tells him.
In the background, Jungkook can make out Namjoon and Yoongi's voices. Hoseok sighs. "I told him to talk to Taehyung first. I'm not surprised he didn't."
"So you've heard-"
Taehyung grabs the phone from Jungkook's hand. "Hyung, you know where he is?"
Jungkook is close enough to hear the hesitation before Hoseok speaks. "Look, Tae, come over. We shouldn't do this on the phone."
"Do what?" Taehyung demands.
"Just come here," Hoseok says. "Text me when you're close. I'll send Yoongi down to let you in."
It's got to be the weirdest group meeting (intervention? Jungkook still isn't sure) that Jungkook's ever seen. Namjoon is still possibly asleep, slumped over the arm of their couch, and Yoongi is wearing a Kumamon robe, complete with ears on the hood. Hoseok is the only one among them that looks awake.
"So do you know where he is or not?" Taehyung asks before Hoseok even explain anything. He's shaking with nervous energy, and Jungkook has to yank his arm to get him to sit down on the couch.
"Well, he's probably still on the plane," Hoseok says bluntly.
Taehyung's arm jerks out of Jungkook's grasp. There's a look on his face, a dawning recognition. Jungkook has no idea what it means. "I can't fucking believe you would do this."
"I'm the one who told him about it, okay, but he's the one who decided he wanted to go."
"That doesn't make any sense," Taehyung says. "He would've told me if he was going anywhere. He tells me everything."
Jungkook looks between Yoongi and Namjoon, but neither of them will meet his eye.
"It's three months, he'll be back. It's good for him. It's a good career opportunity."
Taehyung shakes his head. "He told me he wouldn't leave me."
At this, Hoseok just laughs. A small, bitter laugh that's unexpectedly cruel for someone as kind as Hoseok. "He left because of you, Tae."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Taehyung says in a quiet voice.
"You were hurting him," Hoseok says. "How long did you think he would wait around for you?"
"That's not-"
"How long did you think you could keep acting like you're in love with him? Jimin's not your soulmate. Jungkook is."
And this is what Jungkook should have known all along, what he has known somewhere deep down in his gut. This is the taste of bile in his throat when he saw them together in the kitchen.
Jungkook feels like he's being choked.
"I know you want to," Hoseok says, lowering his voice now, "but you can't have it both ways."
"Fuck you," Taehyung says, and then he's leaving, not even bothering to grab his shoes from the entryway before he slams the door behind him, the frames on the wall rattling with the force.
Someone touches Jungkook's knee.
"You okay?" It's Yoongi. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."
"I don't have a key to the apartment," he says. The words scrape along his throat. "We kept forgetting."
"Do you want to stay here for a while?" Hoseok asks.
Jungkook nods. He can feel a lump forming when he swallows, the stinging of tears behind his eyelids. He hasn't cried in years.
He lets himself be folded into Hoseok's lap. Yoongi rubs his shoulders as Jungkook presses his face into Hoseok's thigh, his tears dampening the thin fabric of his pajama pants.
"Hey," Hoseok says, soothing him. "Things are going to be okay."
A week passes, then two, and Jimin is still gone and things are not really okay.
"We broke up," Jungkook says, standing in Seokjin's doorway. "I think. Can you break up with someone you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with?"
He's never been as close with Seokjin as Taehyung, what with their age difference and their completely incompatible interests, but, "It was either you or Namjoon and I didn't want to talk about how soulmates are tools of capitalist oppression or whatever," he tells Seokjin.
"And I have baked goods," Seokjin says, gathering Jungkook into his arms. He smells like honey, like the hotteok Jungkook's mother used to make. "Therefore I am automatically your greatest hyung."
He sits on the couch while Seokjin makes him tea, looking around at the happy pictures of Hyosang and Seokjin displayed proudly on the walls. He wondered if they ever had rough patches like this.
"Are you going to move out?" Seokjin asks, passing Jungkook a mug.
Jungkook shugs. "The semester just started, everyone already has a roommate. I think Taehyung would kill me if I tried to move into Jimin's room. It's like his creepy shrine."
"Well, he'll have to figure it out when Jimin comes back," Seokjin says. "If he comes back."
Jungkook leans his head back against the couch, gazing up at the ceiling. It's been a long two weeks. He's tired. "You know," he says, "I was never one of those kids that really wanted a soulmate? But then I got one, and I really-"
He sighs. "I really liked him. It doesn't seem fair."
"You're probably too young to realize that having someone's name on your wrist doesn't mean that everything from that point is going to work out."
"Then what's the point?" Jungkook says, throwing up his hand in frustration.
"Capitalist oppression?" Seokjin offers. Jungkook rolls his head over to glare at him. "Or maybe the point is that 99 times out of 100 it does work out."
"And so what? I'm just lucky enough to be the outlier?"
Seokjin sets down his mug, scooting in closer. "Look, Jungkook, you have three options. The first is that you and Taehyung might end up working out. Maybe this is just a bump in the road and you guys will end up happy together."
Jungkook feels a sting of guilt in his chest. "And what about Jimin?"
"Taehyung is your soulmate, not his," Seokjin says with an apologetic smile. "You're allowed to put yourself first. Or else you get option two, where you let them ride off in the sunset together and then…"
"And then what happens to me?"
"And then what happens to you?" Seokjin repeats.
"But what's option three?"
Seokjin squeezes his knee. "I think you know."
Jungkook has been splitting his time between Donghyuk's couch (though based on the looks Donghyuk's roommate keeps shooting him, Jungkook's starting to feel like he's worn out his welcome) and his older brother's spare bedroom. He doesn't want his parents to feel sorry for him, so he doesn't go home and he tells his mom when she calls that everything is fine. They're happy and they're doing well because that's how soulmates are supposed to work.
Most of his things are still at their apartment, so on his days with early classes sometimes Jungkook swings by to check on Taehyung.
It's mid-afternoon and Taehyung is curled up on the bed with the blinds closed. Jungkook steps around a congealed bowl of ramen, a dirty pair of sweatpants. Taehyung at his best is messy, right now his room looks like a warzone.
"Did you go to class today?" Jungkook asks, digging a few pairs of socks out of their shared dresser. They're both running out. Maybe Hoseok will come do Taehyung's laundry again, even though Seokjin keeps telling them not to enable him.
"Yes," Taehyung says, rolling onto his back to watch Jungkook.
Jungkook shoots him a suspicious look over his shoulder.
"I did," Taehyung insists. "It was an early lecture."
Taehyung catches Jungkook's wrist in his hand, fingers pressing into the spot where his name is inked into his skin. "Come lie down with me," he says.
Jungkook does, because he hasn't yet figured out how to turn off that part of him that wants to indulge Taehyung. It's practically muscle memory. Their knees slot together and Jungkook's fingers finds their place on the soft spot above Taehyung's hipbone. Taehyung leans in until their foreheads are touching, his hands coming up to cup the back of Jungkook's head.
"I love you," Taehyung whispers, breath hot against Jungkook's cheek.
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut. "Don't," he says.
"It's true," Taehyung tells him.
"I don't care," Jungkook says. He does care. He cares so much and his heart is beating so heavy and fast that he's sure Taehyung must be able to feel it. "Don't make it harder than it is."
Taehyung only pushes in harder, bone against bone. "I love you, Jeon Jungkook," he says. "I'm sorry."
Jungkook's eyes are still closed when Taehyung kisses him. It feels like pressing down a bruise, a sharp ache, but Jungkook kisses back anyway. He's nineteen years old and it's been almost a month since the last time Taehyung kissed him and he's weak.
This is nothing like any kissing Jungkook has taken part in before. It's searing, Taehyung's fingers pulling on Jungkook's hair, Jungkook's teeth scraping along Taehyung's bottom lip. Open mouthed, a little painful, almost suffocating.
Taehyung makes a gasping noise in the back of his throat and his body presses against Jungkook's. He's hard. Jungkook can feel the weight of Taehyung's cock through his thin basketball shorts and everything becomes too real all too quick.
Jungkook jerks back to the edge of the bed. Taehyung's lips are swollen already, mouth glossy with spit, and Jungkook wants to touch him so fucking bad but he can't do this.
"This is wrong," he says without looking back at Taehyung, grabbing his backpack from the floor. A few pairs of socks spill out, rolling under Taehyung's bed but he leaves them. He needs to get out of this stuffy bedroom before he does something he'll regret. "I'll check on you this weekend."
Taehyung doesn't try to stop him.
Jungkook gets as far as the elevator before the strangling in his chest is too much and he doubles over to catch his breath. Everything is fucked up. He never asked to be an outlier, never asked to be in love with a boy who's in love with someone else.
His hands shake when he reaches for his phone.
The day after Jungkook calls Jimin, he switches his watch over to his left wrist again.
He'd kind of expected Jimin to put up a fight, because Lord knows Jungkook is probably the last person in the world he wants to speak to, but Jungkook only has to say, "He's not really eating or going out, he's not doing okay" before Jimin says, "I'll get the next plane home."
The next night Seokjin texts him, jimin came home, he's at my place and Jungkook almost wishes he had somewhere to run away to as well. But he's got classes and family and a stupid fucking name stamped on his wrist for all of eternity, so he just turns off his phone and cries in his brother's guest bedroom until he falls asleep instead.
He gives them a few days, resolutely not thinking about what they must be up to (Taehyung's hands on Jimin, his mouth) before he sneaks over to the apartment during a time when neither of them should be there.
It's cowardly, Jungkook knows, but he can't look at either of them yet.
The apartment is, thankfully, empty. There's a glass of water resting on the top shelf of the shoe cupboard, of all places, a clear sign of Jimin's return. Jungkook very seriously contemplates throwing in on the floor.
In the bedroom, his clothes haven't been touched. He throws his socks and underwear into his duffle first before moving onto the wardrobe.
"I was worried about you."
Jungkook's heart skips a beat.
"You're packing," Taehyung says from the doorway, accusatory.
"Of course I'm packing," Jungkook says. He has to rest his head against the wardrobe until he's sure he can speak without his voice shaking. "What do you want?"
He can hear Taehyung's footsteps approaching, but he flinches when Taehyung touches him, arms squeezing around his middle and face pressed into Jungkook's back. "I want you to not go," Taehyung says.
"You're hurting me," Jungkook says, and even he's not sure what kind of hurt he means.
"Please don't go."
Jungkook turns around, fast enough to break Taehyung's grip. He's prepared to shout, the words on the tip of his tongue, but he catches sight of Taehyung's red-rimmed eyes and his throat dries up. "You have Jimin now," he whispers. "I can't be your second choice."
"What if it doesn't have to be a choice?" Taehyung touches him again, this time trembling fingers pressed against his wrist. A familiar touch. Jungkook can't look at him, but he can't look away. "I don't care about being selfish," Taehyung presses on. "You're my soulmate. I love you."
Jungkook shakes his head. "Because I'm your soulmate."
"Because you're you. I can't help it."
"Tae-"
"Please, don't go," Taehyung says, desperate and a little optimistic. "Stay with me."
He hears Seokjin in his mind. You have three options.
"And what would it be like if I stayed?" Jungkook asks.
"I don't know." Taehyung looks down at his feet. "But I want to figure it out, because I don't want to go back to not having you in my life. Don't leave me."
Jungkook's breath catches in his throat. "A trial run," he says. Taehyung snaps back up to attention, and Jungkook never did learn how to say no to him. "I'm. I'm not making any promises."
There's a vise around Jungkook's heart that's shaped like Taehyung's fist.
---
[notes]1. ages: all ages in this fic correspond to the korean age system (so +1/2 years) and i know that donghyuk is an early 97 liner, but he calls hanbin hyung so i went by the assumption that he went to school with other 97 liners instead of 96.
2. the piercer is kim sunghyun, who is a creative director @ bighit, i have to assume jungkook would like his tattoos.
3. title is from broods's "evergreen" (the original title was want, and then a pause from this poem but i thought it more fitting to get into the spirit of the challenge with the remixed title)
gosh this is officially the longest thing i have ever written (my hats off to anyone who isn't me and can write more than 5k per fic on a regular basis) and a pretty stressful one at that. angst is not my typical genre and REMIXING IS HARD, but at the same time i am glad i got to try my hands at working within predefined parameters. i tried my best to stick to the source fic- the timeline has been altered slightly but i felt like it was more important to retain the length of the timeline than the exact dates.
the ending can be interpreted how you like...i will state that the rules of ficmix don't officially allow for a change of pairing but
INTERPRET IT HOW YOU WANT IS ALL I AM SAYING....
thanks to: k, r, a, and n for their feedback and advice, thanks to everyone who favorited my word count update tweets, thanks to the original fic author for lending me their words and to the ficmix mod(s) for their patience. i will probably always be the Worst exchange participant /o\ thanks for reading ♥