Republican Seagull
Republican Seagull
You know: they come in squawking, shit all over everything, and leave screaming.
Ever since I sought the aegis of the Whistleblower's Protection Act from my employer and also charged them with violating my first amendment right to free speech, management, being the stuff of over-sized toddlers, has been largely ignoring my presence between bouts of vandalizing my vehicle. One of my supervisors, "Chuck", could contain himself no longer apparently. I don't see him much any way. Normally, he only seems to speak to me but once a year.
Chuck is a nervous, rail-thin chain-smoker, and enjoys a fifteen-minute smoke-break every half hour. What few tasks he does accomplish oft needs to be re-accomplished in order to correct his persistent mistakes.
I'm not claiming I am a joy to work with. Chuck was one of the gaggle of managers standing upon my freshly swept and swapped deck my first week with the company. A few of them, including Chuck, were enjoying coffee, and one of them had dribbled on my deck just as I finished stowing the swab and cadillac e.g., rust bucket.
As I soon would learn, Chuck was a notorious dribbler of coffee. Chuck looked at me. I looked at Chuck. "Are you going to get that?", he asked, referring to the coffee stain at the feet of the gaggle.
I marched up to the group, spat a huge wad of saliva onto the fresh coffee stain, and handed Chuck my swab. The other managers were still shocked when I simply commented "That will break it up. He who spilled it cleans it", and handed Chuck the mop.
"Yeah, I'll get it this time", he said to my back. I like to give people the last word. It makes them feel important or something.
So I'm no joy to work with.
The first time Chuck spoke with me after that incident I had been with the company for a year. Chuck felt the need to explain to me how little he knew about cars, declaring that European vehicles all had plate glass windows, and that was why European vehicles should not be allowed for sale in the US. The truth is that all vehicles met international accords on safety standards, although US vehicles have lagged behind the standards set by European vehicles for the last twenty years. I showed Chuck some basic research on the subject. Sadly, Chuck is one of those "You have your facts and I have mine" anti-process types.
The year after that Chuck was quite upset when one of his heroes, Augusto Pinochet, was being criticised for his crimes against humanity. Pinochet was the bloody dictator in charge of Chile from 1973 to 1990. He tortured, killed, and "disappeared" thousands of his people. Like Pinochet, Chuck is a devout Roman Catholic. Chuck especially admires Pinochet for his instituting Nazi style uniforms and goose-stepping into the Chilean military. Chuck was certain that Pinochet's immunity would hold up should anyone be foolish enough to take the old man to court. I simply noted aloud that immunity can always be revoked. Pinochet's immunity was revoked just last month, though I am getting ahead of myself.
At 0745L, 09 November 2003, Chuck announced that terrorists in Saudi Arabia had just bombed a foreign housing sector in Riyahd. "I hope they killed some French people", he added "'cause that'll learn'em some sense."
We exchanged words. I do not tolerate hate speech in the professional environment well. It's another failing of mine apparently. Chuck was livid when I pointed out that the French were not on a fool's mission to find Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction. He and the other Republicans started cataloging all the imaginary Weapons of Mass Destruction that our brave forces had so far discovered between their busy missions to slaughter and terrorize Iraqi civilians. To those who are wounded, crippled, or killed, what is the difference between an Air Force bomber and a car bomber?
Another redneck and proud of it Republican manager, Jim, was raised in Florida, wears a cowboy hat in Maine, and has never sat astride a horse. Jim declared that I must be lying regarding my professional experience in the region, and no amount of photographs, documentation, and witnesses can prove otherwise. I am a liar apparently. They sure are patriots, though I am the one who went into harm's way while they cowered in-the-rear-with-the-gear.
Just last week Chuck deigned to speak to me, perhaps to fulfill his annual quota. Was Chuck ready to admit that European cars do not have plate glass windows after all? Perhaps Chuck wished to discuss the implications of the recent revocation of Pinochet's immunity? Bush had finally admitted a miscalculation of Intelligence regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq might have occurred, though not on his part of course. Was that the cause of our chit-chat? Of course not.
"Kerry is a liar", Chuck declared, quite literally out of the blue.
"Oh, what did Kerry lie about?", I mistakenly asked.
"He never earned his medals", was Chuck's knowing response.
"According to whom? The Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth have already been exposed as the liars."
"Well there is some truth to what they say", Chuck pouted.
"When Senator McCain declared the those twots were dishonest and dishonourable, what do you think he meant?"
"McCain was brainwashed".
"So how can a person with common sense, just plain, old-fashioned common sense, determine the Swift Boat group are liars?"
Chuck hesitated: common sense is important to him. Ego is important too. What was I saying to him?
"Texas oil billionaire John Perry paid the Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth a quarter of a million dollars, Chuck: a quarter of a million dollars. One doesn't pay people to tell the truth, but one must pay them to tell a lie. The Republicans are liars".
"The Democrats lie too", Chuck whined childishly.
"Yes, Clinton lied about a blow job five years ago. What else have you got?".
"Well, Kerry is a flip-flopper", Chuck moped.
"In the Navy, we call that a rudder, and without one, you'll soon be on the wrong course."
"Why do you love the Democrats?", he wanted to know.
"I don't. They do not represent my views. They've betrayed working class Americans with their love of soft, corporate campaign funds, and more. Do you know what the definition of an ideologue is? An ideologue is an impractical theorist. I think as a nation we have had enough of impractical theories."
"We need more moderates. Bill O'Reilly, Pat Buchanan..."
"They are not moderates, Chuck. They are conservatives. They too are impractical theorists."
"Well, Democrats aren't practical either."
"Aye. You're catching on."
"Democrats try to be too many things to too many people."
"Perhaps."
"Well, look at them: they are the party of liberals, Unions, Jews, blacks, feminist women,..."
"Aye, just who gave them the right to vote?", I interupted sarcastically.
"Exactly!", cried Chuck, as if I'd finally come to my senses."The truth is incontrovertible. Ignorance may denounce it, malice may attack it, but in the end, there it is".
~ Winston Churchill
You know: they come in squawking, shit all over everything, and leave screaming.
Ever since I sought the aegis of the Whistleblower's Protection Act from my employer and also charged them with violating my first amendment right to free speech, management, being the stuff of over-sized toddlers, has been largely ignoring my presence between bouts of vandalizing my vehicle. One of my supervisors, "Chuck", could contain himself no longer apparently. I don't see him much any way. Normally, he only seems to speak to me but once a year.
Chuck is a nervous, rail-thin chain-smoker, and enjoys a fifteen-minute smoke-break every half hour. What few tasks he does accomplish oft needs to be re-accomplished in order to correct his persistent mistakes.
I'm not claiming I am a joy to work with. Chuck was one of the gaggle of managers standing upon my freshly swept and swapped deck my first week with the company. A few of them, including Chuck, were enjoying coffee, and one of them had dribbled on my deck just as I finished stowing the swab and cadillac e.g., rust bucket.
As I soon would learn, Chuck was a notorious dribbler of coffee. Chuck looked at me. I looked at Chuck. "Are you going to get that?", he asked, referring to the coffee stain at the feet of the gaggle.
I marched up to the group, spat a huge wad of saliva onto the fresh coffee stain, and handed Chuck my swab. The other managers were still shocked when I simply commented "That will break it up. He who spilled it cleans it", and handed Chuck the mop.
"Yeah, I'll get it this time", he said to my back. I like to give people the last word. It makes them feel important or something.
So I'm no joy to work with.
The first time Chuck spoke with me after that incident I had been with the company for a year. Chuck felt the need to explain to me how little he knew about cars, declaring that European vehicles all had plate glass windows, and that was why European vehicles should not be allowed for sale in the US. The truth is that all vehicles met international accords on safety standards, although US vehicles have lagged behind the standards set by European vehicles for the last twenty years. I showed Chuck some basic research on the subject. Sadly, Chuck is one of those "You have your facts and I have mine" anti-process types.
The year after that Chuck was quite upset when one of his heroes, Augusto Pinochet, was being criticised for his crimes against humanity. Pinochet was the bloody dictator in charge of Chile from 1973 to 1990. He tortured, killed, and "disappeared" thousands of his people. Like Pinochet, Chuck is a devout Roman Catholic. Chuck especially admires Pinochet for his instituting Nazi style uniforms and goose-stepping into the Chilean military. Chuck was certain that Pinochet's immunity would hold up should anyone be foolish enough to take the old man to court. I simply noted aloud that immunity can always be revoked. Pinochet's immunity was revoked just last month, though I am getting ahead of myself.
At 0745L, 09 November 2003, Chuck announced that terrorists in Saudi Arabia had just bombed a foreign housing sector in Riyahd. "I hope they killed some French people", he added "'cause that'll learn'em some sense."
We exchanged words. I do not tolerate hate speech in the professional environment well. It's another failing of mine apparently. Chuck was livid when I pointed out that the French were not on a fool's mission to find Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction. He and the other Republicans started cataloging all the imaginary Weapons of Mass Destruction that our brave forces had so far discovered between their busy missions to slaughter and terrorize Iraqi civilians. To those who are wounded, crippled, or killed, what is the difference between an Air Force bomber and a car bomber?
Another redneck and proud of it Republican manager, Jim, was raised in Florida, wears a cowboy hat in Maine, and has never sat astride a horse. Jim declared that I must be lying regarding my professional experience in the region, and no amount of photographs, documentation, and witnesses can prove otherwise. I am a liar apparently. They sure are patriots, though I am the one who went into harm's way while they cowered in-the-rear-with-the-gear.
Just last week Chuck deigned to speak to me, perhaps to fulfill his annual quota. Was Chuck ready to admit that European cars do not have plate glass windows after all? Perhaps Chuck wished to discuss the implications of the recent revocation of Pinochet's immunity? Bush had finally admitted a miscalculation of Intelligence regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq might have occurred, though not on his part of course. Was that the cause of our chit-chat? Of course not.
"Kerry is a liar", Chuck declared, quite literally out of the blue.
"Oh, what did Kerry lie about?", I mistakenly asked.
"He never earned his medals", was Chuck's knowing response.
"According to whom? The Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth have already been exposed as the liars."
"Well there is some truth to what they say", Chuck pouted.
"When Senator McCain declared the those twots were dishonest and dishonourable, what do you think he meant?"
"McCain was brainwashed".
"So how can a person with common sense, just plain, old-fashioned common sense, determine the Swift Boat group are liars?"
Chuck hesitated: common sense is important to him. Ego is important too. What was I saying to him?
"Texas oil billionaire John Perry paid the Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth a quarter of a million dollars, Chuck: a quarter of a million dollars. One doesn't pay people to tell the truth, but one must pay them to tell a lie. The Republicans are liars".
"The Democrats lie too", Chuck whined childishly.
"Yes, Clinton lied about a blow job five years ago. What else have you got?".
"Well, Kerry is a flip-flopper", Chuck moped.
"In the Navy, we call that a rudder, and without one, you'll soon be on the wrong course."
"Why do you love the Democrats?", he wanted to know.
"I don't. They do not represent my views. They've betrayed working class Americans with their love of soft, corporate campaign funds, and more. Do you know what the definition of an ideologue is? An ideologue is an impractical theorist. I think as a nation we have had enough of impractical theories."
"We need more moderates. Bill O'Reilly, Pat Buchanan..."
"They are not moderates, Chuck. They are conservatives. They too are impractical theorists."
"Well, Democrats aren't practical either."
"Aye. You're catching on."
"Democrats try to be too many things to too many people."
"Perhaps."
"Well, look at them: they are the party of liberals, Unions, Jews, blacks, feminist women,..."
"Aye, just who gave them the right to vote?", I interupted sarcastically.
"Exactly!", cried Chuck, as if I'd finally come to my senses."The truth is incontrovertible. Ignorance may denounce it, malice may attack it, but in the end, there it is".
~ Winston Churchill