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[stealthyshelby]

Ok Paige, remember how when we were walking to CooperSmith's earlier I was telling you about how I would just really like it if Will read my email and called me in the next few days and apologized for not calling sooner and explained himself, and that that was all I really wanted from the situation? And remember how you told me not to count on it

Comments

[birdmadgirl4]

No, I have no idea who you are. Friend of a friend of a friend. But I think you're amazing; I would love to be the kind of person for whom things are surely lovely and important and good underneath, even when they appear heartbreaking. I would love to be the kind of person who doesn't wake up to a gray sky even while the sun is shining; who doesn't know somewhere in the logical cellar that life has no meaning, that nothing happens for a reason, that human beings inject meaning into their realities because they'd go crazy otherwise, that we're all just molecules and energy bouncing off one another, that beauty isn't really there... I would love to pretend for a moment that I was you, that life was a page-turner filled with lessons to learn and roads to travel, and even amid the shit I could still find happiness.

[stealthyshelby]

Thank you. I wish that I could justify my unflagging optimism in a way that would make it into something tangible that I could give to you. Sometimes I have wondered if perhaps there is something wrong with me, if perhaps I am missing out on despair in a way that really limits my ability to understand what life is like, if perhaps I'm just really naive and am somehow missing the joke. It feels like that sometimes, when I look at people who I know are not happy even though they so desperately want to be. Perhaps we all can't help having the disposition we have. But perhaps we can. I really don't know. I choose (is it really a choice? maybe not) to see life in a certain light, and having expected things to be good I have always found them to be so, somehow. I mean, shit happens, and it happens to all of us, but I've found that it never seems so shitty if I can learn something from it and move on with my life.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. Other than thanks, and I hope you find what you're looking for.